Ensure your actions drive your emotions

Imagine back to a time you felt fear rush over you.

There's a good chance that this was one of your early experiences with girls.

You got a girl's number, and you're starting to text. It goes well but all of a sudden she stops responding. An hour passes, then three hours, and before you know it a full day passes with no response.

Inexperience and scarcity mentality cause you to panic. Is she talking to someone else now? Did I say something wrong? Panic rushes over you.

This panic makes you do some pretty stupid things. You end up texting her to ask if she got your message, apologising for your last text if it sounded stupid.

Great, now you look needy and insecure, with nothing better to do than panic about whether she talks to you. Could have gone better!

You probably could have still rescued it after this, but we'll get to that thread in another post.

That's a strong example of emotions driving your actions. The feeling of panic rushed over you, and you let that take control of your actions.

You will almost always regret an action taken driven by emotion. Relax and take a deep breath.

Whenever you feel extremely strong emotions rushing over you, breathe deep into your balls and repeat after me, "My actions drive my emotions. My actions drive my emotions. My actions drive my emotions."

You're a man. A strong man. You don't let your emotions have such a strong control over you. And women respect you for it. You are an oak tree, unperturbed by the chemical whirlwind of your emotions.

Let's rewind back to the texting.

The girl you're talking to goes a bit cold on you. Instead of panicking and sending a needy text, you put the phone down, go out for a walk and don't text her for a whole day. Take a whole day off talking to her.

Then the day after that, you send a funny text about how you saw a kid eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut on your no-carb day and totally almost bribed him for a bite. Because you know that although you feel panic now, a day without your contact will make her opinion of you reset, and she'll feel intrigued by your sudden lack of attention to her, and the funny text will make her feel good, and you can use that as a strong base to start working on getting her out on another date.

Another example. You have a long day at work and feel tired. You usually go to the gym on Tuesday evenings. You know that although you feel tired now, after you have done a workout you will feel much more pumped, refreshed, and virulent. That's making your actions define your emotions.

Another example. Some cock in a fancy sports car drives up alongside you about to overtake you, and there's a speed camera up ahead. You've already been caught speeding this year, so if you speed again you'll get slapped with penalty points and a fine, probably doubling your insurance. Rather than let your ego take over and risk a big financial hit over an incident you'll probably have forgotten by tomorrow anyway, you hold your ground and stay at the speed limit as you go past the speed camera. The sports car guy does the same and slips behind you, so you 'won' this silly little encounter anyway. That's making your actions define your emotions.

TL;DR: Ensure your actions drive your emotions. You will almost always regret an action taken out of pure emotion.