Lose Your Phone
Ever lose your phone? What's the first thought/feeling you have? Panic? Fear? Anxiety?
Fridays I regularly volunteer with a few boys. I took a couple of kites, a rugby ball, and the boys down to a playing field. We kicked the ball, flew some kites and generally had a blast. A few minutes in I realised my phone wasn't in my pocket. My first reaction? Panic. Fuck. Did I drop it? It's a big field, and what felt like a very small phone. Did I leave it somewhere else? I yell out to the boys. Get one to call it. No dice. I retrace my steps. No luck. Whilst I acted unaffected, internally I was berating myself. Stressed. Those young guys understood. As I'm sure some of you do. That feeling. After a few minutes I realised as swiftly as dusk approached, so diminished my hopes.
Fear. Shit. I've lost my phone. I go to the worst case scenario; what have I lost? Contacts. That's the first thing I think of. All those numbers. All those texts. All those networks and accumulated records. Gone.
It's at this point my mindset; My Frame clicks. That's it? One phone gone and I've allowed myself to worry, stress and be anxious over that? I go to the best case scenario. Just as suddenly my mind's at ease. I've let go.
I'd love to say that internal dialogue occurred instantaneously. That it only took a minute to reconcile, and be cool with losing all the shit my phone represents. It didn't. I spent at least 20 minutes of my life, stressed, anxious and worried. Afraid. Over something I had lost.
Sound familiar?
How Stoicism, Emotional Mastery, and an Iron Willed Frame is Fundamental
Although it was only a phone, I reacted emotionally. I robbed myself of 20 minutes of peace, self-assurance and productivity. When my first wife became my ex-wife? It took a tiny bit longer. I don't fault myself for my initial reaction in either circumstance, because it's human. I do however, pride myself on re-framing adversity as an opportunity.
It was only after I'd accepted the loss, that I could let it go. Learn from it and move forward. I could turn to the situation, objectively, then make the most of it. It's this type of Frame, this type of Emotional Mastery that is fundamental; to overcoming adversity.
So in future, when you're reacting emotionally, hopefully you'll learn from my mistakes. Whether it's your phone or your fuck buddy; take The L, the lesson with it; and move forward.
Godspeed and good luck!
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