Summary: Went out for nightgame on Saturday, pushed my comfort zone, learned experientially (game is a soft skill; you have to do it to get better), and will continue on my journey.

My Context: Low intermediate in game (get laid once in a while), still trying to get jacked but nowhere close. 5'10 and around 160 lbs with a small belly and slowly growing muscles. Mediocre style (wore a baggy hippie sweater with well-fitting jeans).

Body:

Started out in a loud nightclub where I felt stifled. Said "hey how's it going" to a girl beside me; she said "I'm sober as fuck right now so don't bother"; I laughed sincerely, touched her arm to get her attention again, and said "wait what the fuck? what's wrong with talking to sober people?"; her friend said "she's not interested, she's not interested" in an irritated way so I just left them alone and went back to my wings who gave me a fistbump for moral support.

Later we went on the street. I'm much more comfortable talking to strangers outdoors. I was still quite stifled and so forced myself to talk to a group of guys (I really didn't want to, due to the social anxiety, but accepted that it would be painful and beneficial to do so) and that helped. They were a little weirded out by the fact that I talked to them but it wasn't the most awkward conversation. Immediately afterwards I talked to a couple girls behind them with my wing; it was way easier after talking to the guys which warmed me up. The girls were much friendlier and we had a pleasant conversation; I wasn't into the girl I was talking to, though, so I kept the vibe platonic and we hugged goodbye after a few minutes when they wanted to go back into the nightclub they were in.

A few more interactions with strangers on the street. Bitched out of winging my wingman when he approached a couple group sets. Then approached a really cute girl standing on her own by a building; I said "I like your style" then I moved so I could lean on the wall beside her instead of staying in the needy "approach position". She was really bubbly and smiley, and very talkative, but I didn't sense any sort of sexual vibe; the whole conversation was 100% platonic. Made a mental note afterwards to make it more man-to-woman from the start. Also realized much later that her bubbliness might be a front, and that maybe I shouldn't be encouraging girls to stay that overly-friendly and innocent-seeming when really they usually have a wilder side that they're socially trained to repress.

Then a 2-set with my wing, two cute black girls; the one I talked to was giving me sex eyes the whole time but I wasn't into her so I played along a bit but didn't escalate and kept a slightly platonic vibe.

Finally a 2-set with my wing, two Japanese girls. He hooked them well by talking nonstop (I was quieter at first), and then when they got out their cigarettes to smoke, I put my arms around the cute one from the back and held her while she smoked. At some point I also tried and failed to sweep her off her feet (failed because she was too shy for that and kicked her leg up), but as soon as I failed and then laughed and reacted like it was normal, she put her arm around me. The mental entitlement I had to her body made her much more into me. Usually I wait for IOIs but this time I just went for those moves after intuiting there was enough trust between us for her to not be scared of me (it had only been a few minutes, but I have a trustworthy vibe conveyed through eye contact and demeanour). We ended up hanging out with them all night, took them to the beach, stayed up till 5am with them. I held my girl's hand most of the time, arm around her sometimes, got her to kiss me on the cheek, all while self-amusing and enjoying the adventure and jokingly pretending we were in love (but without having a boyfriend-y vibe). She spoke < 20 words of English so her friend had to translate a lot for us. It went nowhere sexually, and my wing and I knew that from the start (they were really shy girls, and the whole time my girl said "kiss only boyfriend, sex only boyfriend, I leave soon for Japan, you me no kiss") but we stuck in it for the adventure anyway and had fun getting to know them. At some point on the beach we were walking and holding hands and she was playing with my hand, and I popped a boner and stopped to hug her sensually again so she could feel my boner; she pulled away a little but the trust was still there and we kept walking like it was normal. Later on I did another sensual hug and then bit her neck which she didn't pull away at all for. But the whole time she had a massive logical resistance to kissing/sex outside of a relationship and I didn't want to push that (I'm in this for good mutual times, not to push girls to have sex with me). As we dropped them off to their friend's place at the end, she let go of my hand; I was like "what are you embarrassed to hold my hand in front of your friend" and she said "yes" hahaha. This told me that she was into me to some extent; otherwise she wouldn't have engaged in behaviours she thought weren't socially acceptable. As we hugged goodbye she groped my belly and said "big", which I took as a shit test and said "yes, big belly" positively.

Conclusion:

It's a long journey, and never ends. I'm early on this journey and that's okay. I meditated for an hour before going out. I woke up at noon the next day and hit the gym. I have goals but I'm also enjoying the process.

I hope it's cool that I shared my night in this fashion; let me know if I should change the way I write these. I realize it's a long FR but I figured the detail might be useful for painting a vivid picture of the whole process, especially for fellow beginners / intermediates who aren't yet at the point of "I'm jacked with a deep alpha voice and 600-n-count; I went out and said hey to two girls who I then had a threesome with". Always open to feedback.