~ archived since 2018 ~

Focus on you first. And second. And third. And...blah blah...Worry about women seventh.

July 24, 2014

A lot of people (especially new people) show up on The Red Pill wondering “What specifically do I do to improve my life?” They’re not looking for academic theory about women and power-talk and discussions about how shitty women are and how alpha and beta various examples of men are. They’re looking for concrete help. Advice they can implement today to make their lives better.

First, join a gym, or start going if you already joined but don’t go regularly. Or go back if you used to work out and stopped. Make time for this. Every day. Or maybe 6 days a week. Or every other day if you have shit to do. But minimum 3 times per week and preferably more. Do strength training. Look up stronglifts 5x5 or something comparable, and fucking do it. Cardio in between if you’re going every day. This is your time. Don’t talk to girls. Don’t talk to guys. Don’t waste your gym hour. Just work out. It will suck at first but get easier. Here’s the key: It doesn’t matter if you get stronger or look different after a month. (You will, but it doesn’t matter.) The way you walk, talk, and carry yourself will become better, in a way you won’t notice but others will, if you know that you’ve done all you can to prepare your body to face the day, every day. And it’s just plain good for you to grow some fucking muscle.

Second, eat well and get enough sleep. Staying up until 4:AM drinking beer is fine when you’re 19 and in college studying for an exam, but you’re a real person now, and you wake up at 5:AM to work out. So eat real food (not bars and shakes), cut out soft drinks and energy drinks and other bullshit, limit alcohol to social drinking, learn to cook, and buy actual shit from an actual healthy grocery store. And sleep 8-9 hours per night. You have nothing to prove to anybody by staying up until midnight. You have a job, a workout regimen, and a life to live. Lack of sleep hinders all of that and makes you a less efficient and a less attractive human.

Third, get a job if you don’t have one. Get a good job if you already have a shitty job. Get ahead at your good job if you already have one of those. You can look on indeed.com or monster or any other job site, but be forewarned – every job posting you see on the internet will get a thousand resumes. Do a general search for companies in your industry and just send them letters and a copy of your resume. Follow up within the week. By phone, not e-mail. Talk to everyone you know and get hooked up at places you never would have thought to approach. Networking is the best way to get a job, and having a day job and steady income affects the way you walk and talk. Even if you don’t notice this, others will. Even if you’re in school now, get a part time job doing something cool. It’s a great conversation piece, and when you’re finally out of school, the fact that you did something besides go to school the last 4 years sets you apart from other college graduates first starting to send their resumes to employers.

Fourth, talk to strangers. All the fucking time. Are you in line somewhere? A coffee shop? The student union at your university? Are you on a street or in a building, or at the gym or anywhere else where other people exist and aren’t busy working? Just chat with strangers. You’re not trying to make a new best friend or get a date. You’re just chatting with people, both men and women, 30-60 seconds tops, maybe 10 people a day. Most of this will go nowhere and be super-awkward, but maybe you meet someone you can add to your network and contact later. More importantly, however, you get over the inherent fear we all have of rejection. You talk to strangers without caring what they’ll say or think, it’s awkward and stupid, it sucks and you look dumb and have nothing to talk about. But six months from now, you’ll realize that you’re actually good at talking to people, strangers are as afraid of you as you are of them, and you develop a knack for getting other people to seek your approval, rather than vice versa. This translates into more success meeting women, more confidence at job interviews and business/social functions, and the like.

Fifth, join some professional societies, hobbyist groups, start taking guitar or martial art lessons, or something that interests you, not related to your day job. You need shit to do besides work, cook dinner, and sleep. Otherwise, you’re a boring little shit. Be interested in something and look into it. Cooking? Making soap? Making explosives? Going to the shooting range? I don’t care. But if you’re a man, you’ve at least passively been interested in lots of things over the years. Pick a few items of the greatest interest to you and actually look into them. You won’t live forever.

Sixth, study up on game. It doesn’t matter how fit, healthy, successful, social, and interesting you are. Women and talking them into fucking you is something different from all of that. If you don’t know how to talk to girls in a sexual way, you’ll die a rich, super hawt, very interesting virgin who didn’t have game. You have to learn how to treat women like anybody else, be outcome independent, talk subtly sexually, touch in a non-awkward way, and escalate the situation to a sexual encounter. This is a learned skill, not something that “just happens” naturally the way women will tell you it does. For them, it just happens. For you, it’s a practiced skill, and making this happen is something that is completely independent from looks/fitness, success, hobbies, and social skills. Having all of that makes game a lot easier (which is why game comes as sixth on this list), but all of that without game won’t get you laid, and game without all of that will make your life a lot harder.

Finally, start going out every weekend, and/or maybe one weeknight a week, and approach women. Constantly, the same way you talked to strangers above. Note how this is seventh on my list, and not all that important. Women don’t matter if you haven’t done 1-6. And you can be happy and successful just doing 1-6 and forgetting all about women. That’s actually key. If you’re not happy, all on your own, just with who you are, what you’ve done, and what you’re capable of, then you’ll never land a woman (not a worthwhile one anyway). If you’re physically fit or at least confident about your gym routine, healthy and well-rested, professionally successful, socially not awkward, have hobbies and interests, and are at least decently versed in game, you finally have a decent chance of not being blown off by the average woman. As noted above, treat women like talking to strangers. Just chat with them like anybody else, in a non-awkward way, and you’re already leagues beyond the normal loser, who doesn’t have the courage to walk up and talk (and when he does, he’s an awkward loser). Just talking to women and coming across like a non-awkward, non-loser puts you in the top 25% of men. Being subtly sexual and escalating via touch puts you in the top 20%, give or take. Not caring whether you’re turned down or not and moving on to the next woman like the one who just pissed on you doesn’t count puts you in the top 15. Being fit, successful, socially apt, and interesting, on top of good game, puts you in the top 10.

The top 10 percent gets laid every weekend. Maybe not by every single woman they approach, but by the end of the night, you’ll have a fuck buddy lined up. But this comes after a few weeks or months of hard work becoming worth a shit. The key is being happy without women. If you’re fit, successful, socially apt, and in possession of useful and interesting skills and hobbies, you should be able to have a decent life without women. Women would rather line up to be the gravy on your awesome life than be the main course, featured on the otherwise empty plate of a loser.

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Post Information
Title Focus on you first. And second. And third. And...blah blah...Worry about women seventh.
Author Archwinger
Upvotes 764
Comments 109
Date July 24, 2014 9:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/focus-on-you-first-and-second-and-third-andblah.18404
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2bmrtf/focus_on_you_first_and_second_and_third_andblah/
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