I suppose this could go in MRP given that - stupid me - I got married last November. That is another story and the story I want to examine happened last weekend.

Wife and I go on a weekend excursion to another city. She had lived there for several months and I made the mistake of thinking that she would know WTF she was doing.

Since her last visit, the bus routes had changed and when faced with this fact she went into a state of paralysis. She could not decide where to go or what to do.

I finally said "fuck this" and working off her cues I dragged her onto a bus. Mind you, it was the wrong bus, but it got us to within 500m of where we wanted to go. It was pulling teeth to get her off the bus where I figured we needed to go.

She was still in paralysis mode and I made the mistake of raising my voice to snap her out of it.

Man, was she pissed. She sat down, refused to move, and wanted to bitch me out.

I gave her the hotel room key and walked away. She brooded but then followed. I found a place to have some curry for lunch but she still wanted to be pissy. So I had lunch and then she was waiting outside - still pissed.

The rest of the day was a bit messy but I took the reins and explored the city with her.

She remained in a snit for another 18 hours or so but everything washed over and we got "festive" on our return home.

Lessons Learned:

1) Be the Captain and always have a plan. Letting your chick plan a vacation or trip is a recipe for disaster. Whether it is your plan or her plan or no plan, you will always get blamed when thing get fucked up, so plan it and own it.

2) Walk away from a fight. Some fights need to be fought but most don't. I have enough stress in my working life that I don't want to waste time - especially on vacation - dealing with drama in my personal life. Just walk away. Staying put lets her bitch you out, and don't think for a moment that you can reason with her. Just walk away.

That pissed her off too, but only in the short term. The next day we were all hugs and kisses.

If you are dealing with a plate or something less, why on earth would you do anything different?