TLDR:

After reading through most of the sidebar, participating in some posts and trying a bit of sloppy game I set out with the intention of getting a phone number at a coffee shop. I ultimately failed but learned from my experience.

BODY:

There is nothing quite like a coffee shop for approaching someone out of the blue; it's a safe, social environment that people naturally feel comfortable in, especially if it's a "favorite" place they frequent. Using this as my basis I walked in, ordered myself a drink (to repay the owners for using it as my hookup place), and scanned the room looking for someone I could approach. On a Saturday afternoon there were a few people about, mostly unapproachable people in groups and way out of my age range but there was one good-looking chick, alone, studying on her computer with a book nearby.

I sat myself up at another table, sipped on my drink with my own writing pad and book I was (legitimately) studying, and waited. I gave it 10-15 minutes or so and approached her. I told her I was waiting for a friend to show up, and she should entertain me while I waited. She laughed and introduced herself and we got to talking about her studies, what I do, where she lives, that kind of thing. She showed me her broken finger, I joked she must have broken it falling off the pole while stripping and got a giggle. We talked about work and how our jobs are marketing ourselves, I joked about me being a stripper myself to build off of the other one.

After 10-15 minutes or so of chatting I looked at my phone and mentioned how "she must have flaked on me."

Things went well, and she mentioned her boyfriend (so she obviously knew what I was up to by this point). She also gave implications how she thinks the relationship won't work out. I thought holy shit I've got this, and in a few sentences went for the number. She turned me down but said she genuinely enjoyed the conversation, so I packed my bags and headed out after pleasantries.

(As a note I came back in to order something to-go, saw her with her boyfriend. My first thought was, "Wow she's sticking with that?" I took off, gave her a glance and a smile that was met with a look down at the floor that I'm not sure how to interpret).

LESSONS LEARNED/IDEAS FOR DISCUSSION:

  • I think my "motivation" and backstory was good. I demonstrated I was valued in a social group by having a friend meet me, but unfazed when they flaked (which could also have lowered my value; if I was so valuable why would they flake?). (SMV?)
  • My approach was friendly and met with friendly conversation. I threw in a bit of innuendo to reframe the conversation with sexual undertones. (reframing)
  • I should have pressured her a little more to get her phone number. I should have deflected or ignored the initial turn-down with some kind of joke. (ASD?)

What are your opinions? What did I do right? What did I do wrong?