TL;DR: TRP truths in action; social proof is still the best proof and post-wall women will do the work for you if you let them.
Quick Bio
A quick bio: after a break-up with an otherwise pretty decent woman in 2013 I started looking for reasons why the break-up happened. Stumbled upon TRP one day and subscribed almost immediately. I've posted a few times but for the most part I hit the highlights every day or two to see what I can do to improve myself.
Speaking of improving myself, I've been lifting (SL 5x5) for the past 2+ years, and this year I picked up long distance running after losing 110 pounds. Back in 2012 I had dropped most of the weight, but once the relationship started I was back up 40 pounds before I rang in 2013. I got sloppy and realized I wasn't treating myself right, so I fixed that first once I got past my anger phase. My career and property aren't noteworthy--I'm good at what I do, I make above the U.S. median salary and I'm generally happy with where I am socially, financially, mentally and physically.
The Setting
Most Thursdays I meet up with friends at a karaoke bar to have my 1 drink/week while socializing with whoever decides to stop at the table (there's usually 10-20 of us on any given night, so we draw a bit of a crowd as everyone knows everyone.)
Lady 1, 36yo
It was the birthday night for this lady, but I had bought her a birthday drink the previous week as I wasn't expecting to be present on this evening due to a work requirement. Work changed things so I made it to the bar, and she flirted with me almost immediately after I sat down. I told her, "I'm not looking for anything, so you aren't getting anything unless I'm completely drunk." I ended up with 3 beers in 2 hours and didn't open my wallet once.
I was feeling up for it, so I brought her to my place, but before we left the bar I made sure she understood I have zero interest in a relationship with anyone right now. Whether or not that is a lie doesn't really matter--the important part is she replied, "Oh, so just a one night stand? Yeah, that's cool." Yay, she figured it out fast and agrees... this is good, right? An hour in and she's already saying, "You treat me right, we really have to do this again some time." ....yeah, I think she completely forgot about the whole "one night stand" thing, or thought that maybe "one" meant "one or a few". Whatever, we hung out and eventually she said she had to leave.
After she left I made sure not to reply to messages from her. She said something wrong and she needs to recognize what she did is wrong. I won't be heading out this week so unless she replies and says something that sounds similar to, "I was wrong to say I wanted things to go longer than one night" she won't hear from me much. She can buy me all the alcohol she wants at the bar but she isn't coming home with me again.
Lady 2, 37yo
The same evening as above this lady expressed some interest in me. She wasn't interested in me at the beginning of the night, but between us both knowing most of the song lyrics and having mutual interests she warmed up to me pretty fast. Whenever #1 was hitting on me #2 would immediately shut down or go back to chatting with her girlfriend. The second I'd stand up to go chat with someone else at the other end of the tables she'd be right over there to be part of the conversation. She ended up going home with either her boyfriend or her girlfriend (she says she's poly... she's a divorced woman in her 30's with two boyfriends and a girlfriend, take it as you will.)
The next day she posts a picture of a dessert she baked with a comment about baking and sex. She knows I enjoy baking desserts so I took the bait and asked, "Can we ditch the boring sex and bake together instead?" This definitely got the response I figured it would, which was along the lines of, "We should definitely bake together soon, and I'd love to prove you wrong about the boring sex ;)".
At this point I'm considering this successful pipelining as she's expressed interest and is doing most of the work for me. There's two other women (both sub-25yo) who are also somewhat interested, but there hasn't been anywhere near the same level of directness and communication that the 35+yo woman have expressed. While #1 won't be a long-term FB (just not that interested) there's potential with #2 to be casual. She is fairly attractive for her age and I see her as providing a level of social proof I'm having difficulty achieving by myself in the close-knit karaoke community.
[–]BaconEggsAndSleaze15 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TytalusWarden5 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link