~ archived since 2018 ~

FR: TIL Why I Got Dumped 5 Years Ago

February 28, 2016

Summary: Came across a specific sexual strategy theory that seemed extreme at first. Then I realized that it had happened to me in the past and it needed to be shared.

Well guys, apparently my hindsight is not 20/20 as I once thought. This morning, while reading /u/Clint_Redwood's post, I began nodding my head in agreement as I cruised through his analysis.

Then I read /u/NeoreactionSafe's take as to what really happened in that video.

These are excerpts from his comments:

First of all I saw that video and in my opinion the girl really wanted to set up the drama on their third year anniversary because she wanted out of the relationship.

So unlike others that might see this as a "random slutty act" in reality this was her way to get rid of the guy and break his foolish Disney love.

[...] ...so the guy who is being "cheated on" isn't really being cheated on, but being broken up with in a subtle way. For all we know the girl coached the new guy to be her White Knight and defend her from a jealous boyfriend who she wanted to leave. So as you think more deeply on it you see her side of the story. She wanted out... she picked a guy that is the boyfriends acquaintance (they knew of each other somewhat) and this was done on purpose. If the boyfriend never showed up (unlikely) then the drama she wanted would have been postponed to another time.

[...]Women use big drama to define events. Guys need to understand the message beneath the drama. The drama is typically the distraction.

The new guy might just be the White Knight we don't know. My point is that the woman creates the drama by setting the scene so that the focus is away from her. That's key. By recasting the breakup as a White Knight protecting her from the "evil ex-boyfriend" she shifts the blame away from herself so that the boyfriend only thinks of the new guy. All the emotions that were formerly directed at her ("you slut you, why can't you be my Disney princess?") are shifted towards the new guy. ("I hate that dude because he destroyed the most beautiful love that ever existed since the beginning of time") It's all about emotion. She "reoriented" the boy's emotions away from her and towards generic "other guy". In all probability the new guy bangs her once or twice and that's it... the drama is gone... and everyone is broken up. Drama creates temporary tingles... those go away after some time if there is nothing substantial to follow.

At first it seemed far fetched...

If I hadn't experienced the following, I might have dismissed the idea as a conspiracy theory. I'm willing to bet many of you have done just that.

The following will demonstrate that such an act does not have to be masterminded. Sometimes pieces simply line up when you have a pussy between your legs and all you have to do is play them correctly.

Cee the Self Proclaimed Spinster

I met Cee at college a few years ago during some on campus club meeting we were apart of. She was a 29 year old HB8 with a bangin body who was studying Philosophy. I was 25 at the time but since everyone else at school was early 20’s I was relatively sophisticated in attitude and fashion (high SMV). We got together a couple of months after our initial meeting where their was obvious mutual attraction. We would flirt in person and google chat on and off for several weeks. Now that I look back, it was her that created the opportunity for me to ask her out on our first official date (read: branch swing).

What Red Flags?

We hooked up a few times and would hang out more and more at school, plus go out to bars. As that semester came to an end, we were getting closer. I realize all the mistakes I made with Cee clearly now. By far, the biggest one was registering for classes during the same times as each other for the upcoming semester. Seeing each other 4 times a week was not ideal, as it turned out. Cee lived with her dad and younger brother, since her parents had divorced years earlier. Her dad was handsome, owned a very nice house and drove a Porsche 911 (despite of the divorce rape I'm sure occured). According to Cee, he was a womanizer, and she would mention it with disdain. Cee rarely talked about her mom, but showed me pictures. It was obvious who she got her looks from, mom was a fucking hottie. The men in the house were very cold with Cee, as if they were putting up with her because they had to. The evidence points that Cee was not only a spitting image of her mother, but the personalities were similar as well. In case you are wondering what Cee’s Philosophy in life was, it was simple: Manipulate everything and everyone to benefit Cee.

Gimme That Pink Pussy!

Her hotness, coupled with the volatility of the relationship made the sex the best I’d ever had. I remember one time after school we went to a Chili’s restaurant for a fundraiser held by some on campus club. We ate and had a few drinks and decided to check out the other bar and grills on the strip. We drank more and got into an argument over god knows what. We went outside to have a cigarette. In front of the bar was one of those curbs designated as a loading/unloading zone which was on the edge of a ridiculously busy main street. Cars were constantly dropping people off and picking them up. By the time the cigarette was done, things had become heated. She said some things that got me heated and muttering shit under my breath. Her drunk, dramatic ass did the unthinkable. She ran up to a VW Beetle with a man in the driver seat, as she yelled “omg he's gonna hurt me.” Without even waiting for his approval she opened the passenger door and jumped in. Like the lame ass white knight that he was, he immediately drove off. I bet he thought it was his lucky day. This was one of many incidents of the kind, yet it’s enough to show you her level of crazy.

Met a Bear at a Bar

The fateful night that prompted this post began just another one of our after school outings. We ended up at a dive bar we had never been to. We got pretty drunk and their are missing events between the beginning and the end of the night. However I remember clearly, both of us getting a ride home by this bear of a man in his 30’s. He was handsome and was physically very threatening. I got dropped off first. (Let the level of disrespect wash over you).

So the next day I found my own way to school but arrived late since she didn’t pick me up and wouldn’t respond to my calls/texts. I walked into some bullshit class we had together as it was about to wrap up. As I walked in she looked at me as if she was scared, just enough acting to get the attention of the class. Everyone including the professor was on alert, I immediately left the class. I went outside and began thinking what the next move was, since my backpack was still in her car from the night before. She came outside in a few minutes and we got into an argument. This bitch saw the smoke coming out of my ears and decided to throw more fuel on the fire and fan the flames. She knocked off the designer sunglasses sitting on my face and they fell on to the sand and gravel mixture below, scratching the lenses.

The Bear Wants to Brawl

They say there is no reason to hit a woman. Those who believe that with unquestioned devotion have never met Cee. The situation was already tense but this bitch tried to bait me into catching a case. I didn’t react, but in case you're cheering for Cee, don't worry she had a back up plan. The bear from the night before showed up right on time to pick her up. She hadn’t picked up her car from the previous night, which makes me wonder if he spent the night with her or he actually went to pick her up the next morning to bring her to school. Either way, he pulled up and jumped out. I stood 6 feet tall with 190 pounds of the softest dough on my frame at the time, but I’ve always had the heart to fight even if winning was not an option. This guy was there to get down, and if we scrapped it would’ve been similar to that bear attack scene from the Revenant. Unfortunately, I would not get an Oscar nod like Leo did.

In My Defense

I won’t even attempt to justify my behavior during our dealings with each other over 4 months, it was beta. It wasn't some unconditional love, Disney brand of beta though. It was a simple case of being pussy whipped. Until reading /u/NeoreactionSafe's comment, I thought the fight was the reason we parted ways. Further analysis showed that we were going to part ways one way or another and the fight was just the smoke and mirrors she used to exit my life in a dramatic way. This is how women keep you thinking about them. I bet you are wondering why she she made her move when she did. In two short weeks, we would be marking the end of the semester and the beginning of Summer.

Lessons learned:

*Anytime you learn a new theory or dynamic its smart to look to prior interactions and see if your assessment of the outcome still holds up.

*Remember that every loss is actually a lesson. This loss turned into a lesson 5 years later.

*You may cringe at your recent behavior, but the day will come when you’ll look back and laugh at yourself.

*This ability privilege is not dependent on how much time has passed, but on how much you've progressed.

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Post Information
Title FR: TIL Why I Got Dumped 5 Years Ago
Author WhySoRuff
Upvotes 185
Comments 47
Date February 28, 2016 7:07 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-til-why-i-got-dumped-5-years-ago.56611
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/480pbm/fr_til_why_i_got_dumped_5_years_ago/

[–]MEpicLevelCheater[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a field report, gentlemen. Lots of details about what happened, analysis about why it went down, and how it all ties into the greater lessons of the Red Pill.

I am awarding you with a point for this submission.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Brilliant FR. Will be watching this man if I can, he is clearly destined for greatness.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Once a woman decides she wants/doesn't want something, she'll do the darkest shit to get her outcome. That story about the crazy woman who lied about being raped and even fabricated contact with said alleged rapists should give you a clue about how crazy they can get.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Cee created a modern day duel to validate her awesomeness. She not only wanted you gone, she wanted the thrill of another man's willingness to fight for her pussy because it tastes like cherry bubblegum.

Never underestimate a bitchs need for drama and affirmation

[–]sickofbeingaffraid1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah and if one of them could die it would be even better. She could even act like a victim on TV and get sympathy and attention.

bitches = crazy

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dr. Phil, make way for your newest guest.

[–]RPmatrix17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Cee sounds like a classic BPD babe. Absolute manipulators. And the hot ones are the worst, as they've got 'tools/weapons' at their disposal and have "pussy passing" down to a fine art (together with BJ's)

I've known a few who could've given Machiavelli a lesson or two!

But this stuff is SOP for chicks, I'm surprised you didn't know. Haven't you ever seen this ruse used in films or RL?

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I remember this one time she outdid herself with a blow job in the car, but I can't remember what she was trying to get out of it.

I have a feeling Machiavelli got his manipulation skills from his mother.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a feeling Machiavelli got his manipulation skills from his mother.

haha! I wouldn't be surprised either!

[–]Raiden218 points19 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

So many things that happened to me when I was younger that I didn't understand have been explained thanks to TRP, especially the end of my first relationship when I was 18, she was the first girl I kissed, fucked, said "I love you" to and everything. 9 years after the fact and I figured it out.

When she dumped me it came out of nowhere, I treated her like a goddess for six months and there was no logical reason for her to dump me based on what I'd learned from the media about how to treat a girlfriend. I was at her college that night, she kissed me goodbye and then when I got home and signed on to AIM she said she didn't love me anymore. She couldn't give me any reasons other than that her feelings changed.

She could have dumped me in person but she cared so little about me that she decided to do it in the most impersonal way possible. was devastated for a couple of months to the point where I kept my computer on so I would always be available for her "I made a huge mistake" message. I pulled it together after a couple of months and fucked her brother's slutty borderline fiancée for months until she was too crazy for me to deal with. But even still there was a good 10 months of my life racking my brain about what on Earth I did wrong.

I never really fully understood why that happened until I found TRP. And now that I do understand sometimes I feel like I really should send her a Facebook message to apologize to her for how much of a complete and utter beta pussy I was. All I can do looking back is cringe. I wasn't even remotely sexually assertive, I wanted to spend all of my time with her and I even stopped hanging out with my friends because I was so excited to have a woman in my life do the first time. I was a suffocating little bitch and about as far from Chad as I could be. I was so intimidated by the Chads on her dorm floor that I could barely talk when I visited. I spent time hanging out with her roommates for fuck's sake!

Without that relationship and the one that led to it, none of what I've read on TRP would have ever made sense to me, so in the end I have nothing to complain about. I wouldn't have met my wife who turned out to be a pretty good choice from an RP vetting perspective if that shitty first relationship hadn't ended the way it did.

[–]warjesus42011 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The worst things in life teach the best lessons

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

there was a good 10 months of my life racking my brain about what on Earth I did wrong.

Nothing. You were a solid guy. Girls don't want that. A man can either accept it, or he can go argue with God/Darwin/whoever.

[–]Raiden23 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If only 29 year old me could have taught this stuff to 18 year old me I would've gotten laid a ton more, but the experience of trial-and-error was worth it.

Every time I see those "if only I knew about TRP when I was younger" posts it just annoys me. Past is past and dwelling on how big of a lothario you could have been is like Uncle Rico talking about his football days in Napoleon Dynamite.

It's all about where we go from here with the tools we have.

[–]MainstreamHipster1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I could have played for the NFL...

How much do you wanna bet I can throw this football over that mountain?"

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I pulled it together after a couple of months and fucked her brother's slutty borderline fiancée for months until she was too crazy for me to deal with. But even still there was a good 10 months of my life racking my brain about what on Earth I did wrong.

it's funny how sex sometimes makes us unable to see the tree for the wood! You didn't think the fact her sister hadn't rubbed off onto your (ex) gf?

[–]Raiden21 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The two weren't related, I fucked the girl who her brother was engaged to while he was living 2000 miles across the country. My first little foray into amoral behavior but man it felt good to fuck someone else especially if it had a chance to hurt the ex's family in some way. I was that pissed. Luckily I knew the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" so I had no romantic feelings for her no matter how desperate she was for me to say I loved her. Of course she was a crazy cheating slut but the cheating part didn't come out for eight months. That would have been clear as day has I been TRP aware in 2006.

In retrospect the writing was on the wall considering my first gf was going into her freshman year at a huge party school an hour from where I was studying. I'm amazed it took her a whole two months to dump me, I suspect that most summer-before-college LDR attempts die more quickly i.e. Chad fucks her on her first day on campus and she dumps Billy within a week of starting.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm amazed it took her a whole two months to dump me

bro, you're too harsh on yourself, ease up!

[–]Raiden20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah, that was moreso about how much longer it took than it does for a lot of other betas who go into a semester with an LDR and its over in just a week or so.

I was almost as jacked back then as I am now which certainly helped me.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been on the other side of this equation, although I wasn't white-knighting and didn't know the other guy.

I had a g/f in the DC area -- I was in NYC, but while she was exclusive with me, I wasn't with her. Probably should put "air quotes" around exclusive, but IDGAF, so moving on. I had a lot of freedom about where I spent my time, so I was there maybe 8-10 days a month.

I went down to see her around Christmas/New Year. There were always guys sniffing around but she was a good-looking woman who basically radiated sex, so I wasn't surprised.

So she made dinner for me and was serving it dressed in lingerie - and believe me, there was NOTHING Santa was going to put in her stocking that was more exciting than what was in there right now.

So we were finishing up and just about to go down to the bedroom to fuck and suddenly her phone starts going off and there was someone pounding at the door. She kills the lights, grabs me and drags me down the hall to the bedroom. "Is there something you want to tell me?" I ask, slightly amused. She gives me the 4-1-1 that it's her ex b/f who can't quit her. I get that b/c he was atypical for her, as I and the rest of her exes are all bruisers and this guy looks like a ballerina.

So the humor to the situation was starting to wear off when a buddy of mine calls me. I look at the chick and say, "Look, this is funny, now, but he needs to be gone by the time I get off the phone with my buddy, otherwise, I'm going to go outside and poke him to death with my {right index} finger because this {left index} finger is far too powerful to use. Now be a courageous person and pick up his call."

So I answer my phone and my buddy wishes me a Merry Christmas and I explain that I'm in a bad episode of The Jerry Springer Show. "Are you going to poke him to death with your finger?", he asks. Anyway, I'm done in about ten minutes, and by that time, Tinkerbell has gone. That was fine by me b/c, while I had the tiniest bit of sympathy for the guy, he was slowing down my express train to Poundtown. The parts of the convo that I bothered paying attention to were pretty pathetic to the point where I was embarrassed for the guy.

About that time, I started wondering when I was going to be the guy on the other side of the door. Metaphorically, of course, b/c I wasn't going to show up like some lovestruck cherub trying to fight an archangel. So I resolved to Ride That Ride With A Smile because the pussy was just insane. Trouble is, when the pussy is insane, so is the girl it's attached too. /shrug

The Denouement.

So this guy wouldn't leave her alone, so at some point the day before - it was a work day for her, but not me - she had either bumped into the guy near her work or had picked up one of his calls and had told him to drop by or at least had not discouraged him. What better way to get rid of this doosh than when Big Daddy is home? So that was basically her plan. Plus, like all girls, she lurrrrrrrved DRAMA! /shrug. And if it turned into a "Let's you and him fight" thing, then, from her perspective, so it went.

[–]1PantsonFire12346 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is pure truth. My last LTR pulled the same weird shit. Near the end of the relationship things took a turn for the dramatic. Initially I was puzzled why. But then I realized that this is just their way to exit the LTR.

Honestly I don't even fault them for this. They need the drama and emotional energy to branch swing. The more you resist the break up the more they up the drama.

[–]marxistbacon 5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Ahh, the classic game of "Let's You and Him Fight".

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The correct response to this setup is to let him mop up the mess from the second-hand slag and ride into the dusty sunset. I will fight for what is mine. She was never mine. It was just my turn.

[–]iLLprincipLeS 18 points18 points [recovered] | Copy Link

She was a 29 year old HB8 with a bangin body who was studying Philosophy.

Uni at 29? This is what happens when women try to study philosophy. Bet the poor cunt started it at 19.

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I honestly think she was using school as a dating service to find herself AF/BB.

Is there a better subject for a manipulative bitch to manipulate, than Philosophy?

"Well Aristotle said it's not considered cheating if you take it up the ass in the faculty bathroom!"

[–]thewrightstuff883 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Similar reasons why women go into nursing. I read somewhere that a significant percentage of women went into nursing specifically to lock up a doctor. Women are so sophistic it's sickening. They will use any and every means to their advantage because all they care about is their own well being, no one else's. The only thing I can think of that would matter more than their own well being could be the child of an alpha, because at the end of the day that's what they want. Shit only matters to them if it helps them maintain their social status since they adapt the herd mentality.

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be fair the nurturing aspect of women and their preference for service jobs (social validation) plays a role in their choice to become nurses. Locking down a doctor is probably an after thought.

I came across this HB9 nurse on POF whose headline read: "I save lives for a living, what do you do?"

[–]bowie7470 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you go to uni for years and years and years, you have a perfectly good excuse not to join the workforce. One can do very little productive work as a uni student if inclined. I just don't know which career path I want to taakkke

[–]ArkAngelEV0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol the classic Mrs. degree. Clearly behind the curve

[–]onlypronx2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Is going to school at that age such a bad thing? I'm going back to school at 30 after having started during and then continuing to work after high school.

[–]sickofbeingaffraid3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but you do so to improve your skills and your career. She does it for the fun and to find an inexperimented kid who is going to make big money so she can manipulate and seduce him easily.

[–]reigorius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Studying philosophy = nope

[–]Incangodess2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont get why you would dismiss this as conspiracy theory and only didnt because you experienced it..... Because its literally what she did..... No conspiracy at all.... Its a very good and logically valid analysis of female behavior..... Dont understand why personal experience is necessary to not knee-jerk consider that conspiracy

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some people can learn from other people's mistakes while others need to make their own to understand.

[–]DoerOfStuffAndThings2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So did you ever get your backpack?

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I had her drop that shit off on my porch

[–]GrandmasterHurricane1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not all that calculated and logical to them. It's real simple, they just can't be responsible for bad things. They will always shift the blame on someone else. That's not news here.

[–]MakeEmSayAyy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She scratched your shades tho? That's like basically throwing away $300. This bitch is toxic

[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got dropped off first. (Let the level of disrespect wash over you).

There is almost always this point. The point where you interact with the guy the woman you are fucking is about to fuck. If, back then, you were sharp enough to pick up on it and just say "sorry big guy, thought you were gonna get some pussy of your gas but nah - I'll be the one inside her tonight." or something rough around the edges like that, the whole situation would've benefited you instead. But hey, that's why you don't take women seriously - it's a lousy game where you have to keep winning random / out of the blue / whimsical "levels" & a single loss means it's over.

It's hilarious how they almost always instinctually always set up a coincidental, seemingly insignificant meeting or mention the guy they're fucking. The female drive to try and compare whether she's about to upgrade is hilarious.

[–]edibleantlers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

oh wow. couldn't have described the fucking terrible ending of a relationship I just went through any better. 100% to a T. impressive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had a similar thing. An ex knew that I was likely about to leave (a bunch of shit went down, I caught her in a web of lies about her past, and I had bitched her out a few times), so when we were out she found a guy significantly larger than me (he was about 6' 1" and 230 lbs) with a criminal vibe and started hitting on him in front of me.

I ended it that night and told her what I thought of her. And that set me up to being the jealous, verbally abusive asshole so she could feel okay about things ending. She also lied and told people I had slammed her into a wall, which did not happen. I did pull my arm out of her grasp and she tripped and lightly touched a wall however.

[–]cariboo_j0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Damn she sounds like a false DV accusation waiting to happen.

[–]WhySoRuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She threw that threat around numerous times. Dodged a bullet.

[–]SWIMs-Drugs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jesus christ, this resonates so hard with me. I even read the other thread but hadn't really embraced it so fully myself. In my case she dipped and had a new relationship 1 week later (we were together 1.5yrs) with a guy I didn't even know she was talking to. In my case however, it was that she had a bad time with weed she asked me for and could no longer trust me

[–]awe_some_x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reading this, I gathered Cee's mom was a branch swinger since "mom was a hottie", and dad was obviously BB judging by the Porsche. She was simply following mom's example, and using her looks to support her hypergamy. She kept you around as long as you were useful to her, and sorry to say poppa bear fulfilled all the needs you were providing to her. Stay strong, lift, and learn from your mistakes(which it sounds like you've done).

[–]tgeda2015-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

See this is what we call emotional IQ.

Women have it, Alpha (the real ones) have it and the rest of you are the blind leading the blind.

High EQ is why women will always be winning in relationships

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One person's EQ is another person's willingness to be an asshole.

Some folks see what they can do, but just won't because of high self-regard.

[–]tgeda2015-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely not true. That is like saying that a chess-master is being an asshole for annihilating his opponent.

Men are so easy that is hard for most women to resist the temptation.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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