[FR] - Tinder Close Full details from tinder convo through overcoming token LMR - an example for beginners

tldr; A simple example of tinder with a yes girl. She puts up with intermittent tinder texting - 3 week delay and 4 month delay after getting number. We have a seemingly bad first date. 2nd date is a las tminute booty call to watch a movie. I overcome token LMR by very slowly escalating - being careful not to make any sudden leaps that would scare her and no real freezeouts - just subtle suspension of physical touch.

Thanks for all of the helpful field reports and suggestions. Keep them coming. There are patterns that work, and it's helpful to see working models.

I started this with an opener one of you suggested. Let me know if it was you.

Oct 26 Me: I hope you want me for more than my big spoon skills
Her: Lol
She Liked your moment
Nov 12th Me: So I am guessing that's a yes
Her: Maybe
Me: you should also know that I'm a terrible person
(one of you pointed out that when you make a claim about your nature, other people are drivento disprove you. Genius! It also doubles as an early frame announcement for what this is - two terrible people starting to date (ie casual sex))
Her: I am too
Me:: Meet up?
Her: This weekend :D
Me: #? Her: 867-5309 She liked your moment
Feb 1 Me: Hey what's up
Her: Nothingnuch
Her: Nothing much*, what r u up to?
Me: Hey ill text you so we can meet up for a drink

Switched from Tinder to Texting
Me: How about Friday 7pm Bar
Her: Can we do 9?
Me: yes Her: sounds good
Fri
Her: still on for tonight?
Me: yup
Her: Lol sounds good
Her: omw b there in 10
Her: Are you already there?
Me: on my way
Her: just found parking
Me: ok im inside
Her: almost there

This is an example of texting for logistics. Also notice the aloof game. Almost a 3 week delay after the opener after her weak response. Then a pause of 4 months after getting her number. One of my roommates matched with her, so I let him take a pass at it. He seems to have settled down so we discussed it and I went for it again.

I was annoyed because she was about 10 minutes late. Also she was way under-dressed - jeans and a sweatshirt/jogging jacket. I had dressed up - button up nice pants, boots fitting of the atmosphere. I gave her a hug when I saw her and let her get her own drink. The first thing I said to her was what was on my mind"Hey I timed my drive to account for your lateness and I still had to wait."

It set a pretty uncomfortable tone. She began qualifying saying how when she moved to this part of the country she changed her wardrobe and she used to dress up all the time with her parents - she bragged about their careers. It was hard to break the ice with her, we spent a lot of time talking about inane things - the places we were form and how they were different from our current town. Talked about our families, hobbies, and a tiny bit about what we did - mostly focused on her except for the hobby bit where I discussed mine. I started the kino about 10 minutes in by pressing my leg against hers - she pulled hers back slightly just barely maintaining contact. The convo kept going on the same track. I kept my body pretty open, legs spread leaning back and facing forward, she was sitting to my right with her body angled towards mine.

At some point I pull my leg away and she re-initiates contact. The conversation loosens up a tiny bit, I start to tease her a bit and get her to tell me stories about her sneaking out of her house in high school. I do a tiny bit of hand kino but she pulls away. The initial tenseness lingers. We ended up talking for about 3.5 hours - she was somewhat tense in response to further kino escalation - like hugging and playing with her hair so I didn't try to invite myself to hers or hers to mine.

Overall there was not a great deal of vibing - I felt like I had overdressed and was too stiff and created a negative vibe. Between the clothes and spending too much time talking to her may have signaled major Beta Bucks. Her fashion choices signaled to me she was looking for a quick drink and a ride. Ended date with a hug. No "I had a great time text from her" Over the course of the night she only drank half her beer, I only drank one.

Had a different girl cancel on me one night a few days after that first date, so I texted the girl

Me: "Hey whats up"
Her: Nothing
Her: "Much, jus thcilling at my apt tonight. U?" (This is a very good sign, an invitation) Me: "same wanna watch a scary movie and help me finish a bottle of wine" - ref to first date cinematic interests Her: Sure
Me: Whats your address
Her: [address]
Her: Im warning you my apt is a mess

I get to her place with the wine, she's in pajamas belly button showing. we start drinking. Makeup on face.

We chat for about 15 minutes, and she's laughing quite a bit and is loud and bubbly - totally more relaxed this time. At this point I just grab her face and go for a short kiss. She is continuously talking and I only interrupt to tease, handholding is escalating.

We are on the couch next to each other and about 5 minutes after that first kiss I drag her on top of me for more physical intimacy and cuddling. I pull away first for the first 3 rounds, but then she starts to break up tension with laughing, jokes, shifting away etc.
I would build up the intensity and she would stop me. This is usually where I have failed LMR often by freezing out in a butt hurt way or being wayyyyy too pusy.

Reaching between her legs always stopped me, but here's what I did over the next 90 minutes while we watched the movie (I know I know)

-gently stroke her inner thigh/her butt/her face. Every once in a while gentle kissing on face - when she showed resistance/slowed down I would stop petting her for a bit and focus on the movie before resuming. Sometimes I would flip her over pull her hair/choke her atiny bit and bite her neck. That would get her grinding on me hard. After being stopped a few times while advancing towards her passion fruit I just starting humping her - letting myself get as turned on as possible and smelling her hair. She pushed into me.

Eventually I got sweaty and had her flip onto her back while I spooned from the side. From here I could stroke her inner thigh. I got there very slowly - starting with the knee and very gently moving in. She closed her legs once hen I got too close, and then opened them again later so I went for it and got stopped hard - she grabbed my hand and pulled it away. It was a very cuddly vibe so this next exchange came out in a pretty comfortable way. Me: "Are you uncomfortable?"
Her: "I don't want to be distracted"
Start kissing get a little heated. Me: "That's a problem because I love distracting you" I then reached under her bra. No resistance here. We finished up the movie and I follow the escalation ladder. I lift up my shirt, belly on belly. I take off my shirt. I carry her to the bedroom. I reach around the back to gently finger her, then to the front. I get her and myself and undressed more fingering, then close.

I hope this was helpful. This is an example of a yes girl. Recognize the signs - gives you her number, responds right away after you disappear for a while, welcomes you into her home wearing pajamas.

Thank you for all of the feedback everyone