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Originally posted by /u/DCLdit.
This is the first post I ever put on my blog (http://dcllive.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/cheat-sheet/).
I thought I would share it here.
While cleaning out a desk/dresser of mine I found an old cell phone (BlackBerry Bold). I charged it up and started to explore and came across what I would call a 'cheat sheet' I made in a notepad-app about three years ago.
I rearranged the rough content to have somewhat of a flow to it. Hope you enjoy...
- -statements make educated guesses and are far more engaging
- -effective language = speaking with fewest words possible while still maintaining your meaning and intent
- -women do not see features they see how you present yourself
- -women do not hear words they hear your intentions
- -talk louder, then louder than that
- -always make people break eye contact with you before you break it with them
- -when engaging in conversation, suppress the urge until its your turn (one-up-ing)
- -lean back
- -do not lean forward
- -watch others
- -do not put head down
- -pause, relax and slow down
- -do not laugh at things you do not find funny
- -take up more space
- -stop approval seeking
- -my boundary/frame is established, eg. “I value honesty, curiosity, education, intelligence and authenticity, etc.”
- -keep your approval, keep your power
- -project self-image and beliefs
- -honest signals to practice
- -do not stare, moral looking time
- -dominant and confident posture and walk
- -slower than usual movements and gestures
- -be conscious of your body language until it becomes unconscious
- -allow her to orient her body to you
- -tone of voice, “hey what up”
- -rub a girls back while hugging, do not pat
- -physical escalation
- -eye contact
- -verbal contact
- -hand to arm
- -hand to shoulder
- -shoulder to hip
- -hip to leg
- -face to face
- -mouth to mouth
- -things to talk about
- -F.O.R.D (good things to talk about)
- -Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams
- -R.A.P.E (would not recommend using these as talking points)
- -Religion, Abortion, Politics and Economics
- -the inflection of your voice, do your statements sound like questions?
- -be aware of the strength you finish your sentences with, some people trail off when they do not think others are listening
- -ignore her beauty
- -keep your eyes at normal resting size, if not a little bit tighter than usual
- -while making eye contact do not over focus on one eye, move back and forth, find your rhythm - EDIT May 11 2014 - Since writing this I have noticed when moving back and forth it can come off as reactive, attention seeking and needy, use with caution
- -soften your gaze to the point you can comfortably see both eyes without focusing on either one
- -smile big with your whole face, like you just saw your best friend for the first time in a year
- -breath from your belly
- -before an act or action we need oxygen as fuel
- -draw air into the bottom portion of your lungs before the chest muscles expand and draw further air into the upper portion
- -funny shit-test responses to “do you play video games?”
- -“no I use mature media modules”
- -“no I dabble in adult entertainment simulations”
- -quotes
- -“No persons time, attention or companionship is more valuable than your own.”
- -“You cannot allow your ego to become attracted to receiving specific reactions and responses from people.”
- -“What you make yourself to be is a choice. What happens to you as a result of what you are, is not.”
- -“Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.”
- -“Confidence is the reward for being Courageous.”
- -“Men have approach anxiety and women have last-minute-resistance anxiety.”
- -have preferences to create your identity
- -if a guy is looking your girl up-and-down
- -“Chief, eyes on your own paper.”
- -keep moving on, but preserve what works
Cheers.
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