One of the reasons why the Red Pill exists is that mainstream relationship advice is written by Blue Pill idealists. Just be yourself. You should forgive her, she was confused. Man up and accept her lard thighs. Fuck that shit. Here at Red Pill we are all about Realz, don't give a fuck about Feelz and keep Fats far away from our welcome mats.
This week I'm taking a break from writing about the degeneracy of American Vagina Operators and making a pragmatic gift giving guide. Why? Because giving good gifts is difficult and most of the writing on the subject is written by basic bitches and effeminate manginas. Luckily for you guys, the ultra masculine Siberian Alpha: GayLubeOil has got your backs covered with a holiday gift guide.
Underwear: Women have icky vaginas that shoot blood at random intervals. Periods are supposed to be regular. But they're not. Unpredictable blood explosions have a way of ruining nice underwear. For this reason women are in perpetual need of new panties. Underwear is a great gift because it's cheap. Sizing is easy. And its a gift that she can use on a daily basis. Every time she's naked putting on a thong she'll be thinking of you. That's some Pavlovian shit we can all get behind. Check out Yandy or a similar online retailer and buy an assortment of different kinds. Some should be practical, some should be a bit sexy, and one can be crazy as shit, just for laughs.
Custom Photo Gift: If you've been anywhere near a western woman within the past 40 years then you've been forced to take and retake pictures. You could get her a frame with a picture of the two of you, but that's basic as fuck. She's just going to use it for the next dude's picture in a couple of months/years. Instead go to Walmart.com and get a custom photo collage blanket. Yes its cheap. You could tell her it's so the two of you could always be together at night. Aww. If you're not trying to go that cutesy you can get a Photo Bear of her doing something sexually suggestive to remind her that she's your slut. Walmart will refuse to make a photo gift of you throat fucking your plate. Keep it PG13.
Stuff from China: Instead of buying marked up Chinese goods at the mall, why not cut out the middle man and buy them from China? With Aliexpress you can. Now you can get your cheating wife a GPS tracker, a steak knife set for your vegan aunt, new hair hair extensions for Bonifa cuz hers got snatched in Ferguson and a knockoff purse for your ultra basic because she won't know. The clothes on Aliexpress are made for small petite (Asian) women, which isn't an issue because we keep Fats far away from our welcome mats.
If you enjoyed my holiday gift guide follow me on twitter @GayLubeOil.
If you think giving gifts is beta then chances are you have no friends to give gifts to.
[–][deleted] 154 points155 points156 points (35 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 96 points97 points98 points (29 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 55 points56 points57 points (26 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 26 points27 points28 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SenorPuff 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]nothere_ 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ocho-muerte 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nothere_ 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP VanguardYouDislikeMyOpinion 13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ubercoolhipsterguy 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Adolf_ghandi 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc 5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 21 points22 points23 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]thisjibberjabber 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GhostInTheRedPill 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]adamryanx2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ametalshard 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]creekcanary 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fetish_Goth 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thisjibberjabber 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Fetish_Goth 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HeadingRed 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]adamryanx4 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PlanB_pedofile 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]davidmoore0 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TimPartendale34 points [recovered] (28 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 34 points35 points36 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior ContributorRedPope 34 points35 points36 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MorePancakes 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danedina -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GuidoBandito 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc -5 points-4 points-3 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 36 points37 points38 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[+]redpillerinnyc -9 points-8 points-7 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 24 points25 points26 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Entrefut 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]MorePancakes 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc -3 points-2 points-1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MorePancakes 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorDownvoteToDisagree 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cascadecombo 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]199639 10 points11 points12 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]rpscrote 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]redpillerinnyc -8 points-7 points-6 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]redpillerinnyc -6 points-5 points-4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]last_to_know -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Entrefut 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smokeybehr 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]The Red Pill RoomIanIronwood 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]PookIsLovePookIsLife 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smokeybehr 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PookIsLovePookIsLife 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]smokeybehr 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1aguy01 1 point2 points3 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]semondemon24 17 points18 points19 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 17 points18 points19 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]gurglemel 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]semondemon24 -22 points-21 points-20 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 41 points42 points43 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ModAerobus 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]semondemon24 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ModAerobus 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]cascadecombo -6 points-5 points-4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]cascadecombo -6 points-5 points-4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1aguy01 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]smokeybehr 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModAerobus 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stevredpill 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]reiduh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]thisjibberjabber 10 points11 points12 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]elite5472 -5 points-5 points-5 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]redpillerinnyc 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]elite5472-5 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]elStoogeDR 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Testiklease 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil[S] 16 points17 points18 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]InflatableRaft 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TomHicks[🍰] -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TomHicks[🍰] -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link