~ archived since 2018 ~

Give your girl shit. She deserves it.

February 23, 2015
169 upvotes

A fundamental component in maintaining an air of dominance is in being in a perpetual state of Amused Mastery. By doing so you signal to others that you are well above their level of understanding of the system and you find their inability to maneuver it humourous. You are much like a father to his children, a type of bond that creates comfort in the child. This rather unsurprisingly works similarly in sexual relationships.

Take a typical exchange with a potential romantic partner. She makes a comment that could easily be ignored, but has a hint of her hamstering her reality (eg. "I don't date players/assholes"). Your response should be to give her shit for it, because you know better. You see her game and are more than ready for it. Pair it with a knowing smirk and you've disarmed her completely. Take the following responses:

1) "They're somehow only assholes after you're done with them"
--> Tranlastion: You and I both know better, you like confident assholes

2) "Good thing I'm not looking to date you"
--> Translation: I'm not your Beta Bux, but I'll gladly be the Alpha Fux you're looking for

3) "And I never have sex with women until I'm ready to get down on one knee"
--> Translation: You and I both know better. I know how you operate, and it's not what you're saying.

In any event, the specifics of the answer don't matter, so long as the theme is one where you demonstrate you're not taking her seriously, because she is not your equal. This is your frame that you need to work her into. Once there it's easy to further assert your dominance and get her to play by your rules.

Even in the context of LTR's this type of behaviour works well. Your best means of maintaining your dominant frame is to give her shit, even when she's not actively shit-testing you. The type of behaviour will vary based on your personality, some guys are more actively humourous, others more stoic.

To use a personal example, I was at the gym with my LTR. I was trying to help put some muscle on her 110 lb frame. I was getting her to do some tricep dips, conversation went as follows:

LTR does 1 full rep of the dips, struggling
Me: Counting "1..."
LTR does half-hearted second rep, almost at failure
Me: "1.5..."

She breaks out into laughter and gives me the shoulder jab.

These are the types of interactions a fully confident Alpha behaves in, because he knows that women are just children to be toyed with. And they absolutely love it. One of the best compliments I've ever received was "I love that you don't take me seriously". It shows that you are the dominant figure.

That's what she deserves, after all.

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Post Information
Title Give your girl shit. She deserves it.
Author Cyralea
Upvotes 169
Comments 47
Date February 23, 2015 4:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/give-your-girl-shit-she-deserves-it.29467
https://theredarchive.com/post/29467
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2wvpts/give_your_girl_shit_she_deserves_it/
Comments

[–]Heyimtitel42 points43 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I kinda did this in my extremely beta days, but because I'm usualy very ironic and I love to mock people. The thing is this didn't work for me because I wasn't doing it all the time. I mean when a girl started to tell me she was mad because of this I would've started apologizing immediately. So keeping frame, as usual, is very important here too.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan41 points42 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I mean when a girl started to tell me she was mad because of this I would've started apologizing immediately.

Which should just cause you to up the ante of your assholishness, eg:

I just got a text message from Justin Timberlake. He said you need to cry me a river and then build a fucking bridge to get over that shit.

"OMG you're horrible!"

Hey don't shoot the messenger, Justin said it, not me. Mind you, I think he's right. You should get the fuck over it.

Do that thing where you look like you're gonna back down... then don't. It's fun. Tough love and banter = asshole game to women.

Some women can take it, even though they get amped up. Other's crumble like a ruin. The ones that attack back, they're the interesting ones. You can build up a lot of tension. We all know how that gets released...

[–]thisiskindofmessedup18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I just got a text message from Justin Timberlake. He said you need to cry me a river and then build a fucking bridge to get over that shit.

Totally swag jacking this line. lol

[–]justbeaman8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"Swag jacking". I like it. I am going to "Swag jack" this phrase.

[–]Philhelm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Swag jacking is better than jacking Swag, I'd wager...

[–]1Halfjor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My favorite girls are the ones that can play ball with me on that kind of stuff.

Some guys are into girls that are totally submissive. I'm way more entertained if a girl can give me shit and tease me back. It's more fun, and like you said, it builds up the tension.

[–]Heyimtitel-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, If they complain, now I usually tell them: "come, I'll let you cry on my shoulder" or just look surprised and pretend I didn't hear what they said and continue beeing an asshole.

[–]Nifty_Biscuit10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I used to be an extreme beta until one day my friends set me up with this girl. There was nothing wrong with her she was very attractive but I could tell she wasn't too bright. I wasn't very interested so I didn't take her seriously. For example she would fish for compliments all the time saying things like "I'm not pretty" when she knows good well that she is. Beta me would have convinced her she was by saying something like "don't say that you're beautiful". However the uninterested me would just say " yeah you are" or "you're probably right". After a month she said she loved me, and after a month a was still just as uninterested. I however knew this was an ace in my pocket, her love for me that is, and I would use it as a trump card to put down any shit test she threw at me. She was many times impatient and would often overreact if I missed her texts and calls. So I would threaten not to speak to her if she showed an attitude for being impatient. I always returned her texts and calls sometimes it would take a few hours but that wasn't good enough. After I pulled my trump card this behavior stopped. She also had this problem when she would slap me if she didn't like what I had to say or what I was doing. One time I was actually trying to be sweet and I wanted to dance with her. She was in front of her friends and slapped me in the face. I broke up with her on the spot. She started crying and begged me not to break up with her. I told her if she ever did that again I would without a seconds hesitation. Long story short through my trump card tactics and uninterested attitude I turned this impatient emotional woman into a keeper. Who I have now been dating for two years. Sorry for the long comment.

[–]rpscrote0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

One time I was actually trying to be sweet and I wanted to dance with her. She was in front of her friends and slapped me in the face. >I broke up with her on the spot. She started crying and begged me not to break up with her. I told her if she ever did that again I would without a seconds hesitation.

Good call but IMO that level of disrespect cant be trained out of a woman. They have to have been raised to not do things to that level, i'd be wary

[–]Nifty_Biscuit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree completely. I guess it is really just an experiment between her feelings and her behaviors.

[–]1kingofpoplives28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your best means of maintaining your dominant frame is to give her shit, even when she's not actively shit-testing you.

This is a great tip for pro-active frame building. You need to get in the habit of telling your girl what you really think all the time and not biting your tongue until she drops a nuclear shit test.

If she does something stupid, make fun of her. If she does something you disapprove of, chastise her. If you speak your piece about small things, she won't keep pushing to see what you'll tolerate. It's a subtle way of setting your boundaries and frame of superiority.

For example this weekend was at a restaurant with my girl. It was one of those higher end places that specifically states "no cell phones in the dining room" right on the menu.

Of course my girl did not notice this fine print, and like most people under 25, she is a fiend for the phone. Normally, I don't care if she feels the need to look at it from time to time, but because of the specific policy at this place, I told her to put it away because ignoring the requests of the house is disrespectful, and frankly, embarrassing.

She was amazed that a restaurant would have such a policy and thought I was making it up (they had taken away the menus at that point) but she put it away.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In Western society there is an absolute dearth of calling women out on their shit. Thankfully, this creates an atmosphere where the rarity of that behaviour is seen as even more attractive.

Betas have been conditioned to see even simple things like your example as acts of seething misogyny.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

One of the first rules of TRP is to not take a woman seriously. They love that. They know they are ruled by the whims of their emotions, and want a rock who will be their foundation when these whims come. You stay logical, confident, and hold your frame. That's what builds her attraction for you.

[–]sigmayogi 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Mine literally told me the other day that I am her rock.

[–]Philhelm0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've always hated the whole, "You are my rock" line. It sounds as cheesy as fuck.

[–]sigmayogi 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Peoples minds are almost entirely composed of shit they heard in movies and songs. There is very little personality to 99% of people out there.

[–]Philhelm-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, that's pretty much true. Other common statements:

"My kids are my world." "Suicide is the easy way out." "There are plenty of fish in the sea." "Look both ways before crossing the road." - Oh wait, people don't use this one anymore.

[–]RedHeimdall-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Don't shit where you eat," that's a good one too.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's what they want, a stable man in their life. They crave that kind of masculinity.

[–]Dark3970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks to so many betafied boys, even a slight touch of amused mastery skyrockets your percieved SMV.

[–]BrunoOh8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In Dutch, the word asshole is the same word as that of the tip of your penis. The potential for flips and A&A is amazing.

[–]SpongeCroft4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Give your girl shit. She deserves it."

Do we have an award for good threat titles or something...?

[–]stevredpill5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Girls love it in general when you are able to read what they mean, despite what they say. When you are able to catch what they mean, and respond in a proper way (i.e. not taking it too seriously, diffusing tension) it's a good thing.

Example: Girl wants to tell you something that may or may not offend you and so she is tiptoeing around the subject. If you are able to make light of the situation and basically "let her know" that it's cool, I won't get offended, you will relieve that burden off her chest.

Women like to maintain plausible deniability and so they love it when you are able to give them the OK to say the truth.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I love when a woman tries to chew me out. I just act like I am paying attention and then start falling asleep. When they get more upset I snort and act like I wake up. They always get more mad and say they don't want to talk to me and they are leaving or some shit. I go for the "no.....please......don't.......go...." Sarcastically in Captain Kirk voice. Then go back to whatever I was doing.

[–]rpscrote-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

this is fantastic dude... gonna steal the sleeping bit haha.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Be prepared for the rebound "You never listen to anything that bothers me" talk. It happens almost every time. Or the "You don't take my feelings seriously". You have to treat her like a little girl and tell her to come sit by you. When she does, you need to put your arm around her and I always say the same thing" Listen, babe,....I care about you. If I didn't, you wouldn't be here." (It always happens at my house). This lets her know that she can be secure but at the same time that you will not bend to her will. You can see more of this in Married With Children with Peggy gets upset with Al and of course Al doesn't give a shit but he always acknowledges her feelings but doesn't bend to them unless it is logically better for the family.

[–]rpscrote-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

thanks for the advice man, this is great stuff. My LTR game is weak so this is awesome

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was in a LTR for a long while and we would have issues sometimes and I always found that it was directly affected by my mood. I found that women are like giant black holes of negative emotion that will suck the life out of you. And by life, I mean that fun spirit that was use to explore and enjoy life that eventually led to the discovering of the New World. Well, women feed on this. Like fucking vampires. They are negative always but when they get their fill of positivity and inspiration from the neck of a man, they are all happy and giggily. It is like a drug for them. Well, I would sometimes find myself drained from her constant shit tests or demands that I would honestly feel like giving up on life. Then I would just go into hermet mode and of course she would stop being affectionate towards me. So, what I am trying to say is that all this TRP advice is the same whether in a LTR or not. You have to stay aloof, you have to stay on course with your life, you have to focus on you, you have to see the green-ness of the grass even when it hasn't rained in weeks. Because these women will continue to feed off you and trying to bring you down with negativity because they need this drug that only men have. You have to remember that you are the best and you can do whatever you want. This is the GREATEST IMPORTANCE when in a LTR because it is like having a pet vampire that you have to feed. haha. One thing that keeps me positive is when I am in traffic and feeling beat after work or going to work.....I look around....look at the landscape (I live in California where there are mountains), I say to myself, "men have conquered these mountains....we built railroads going over these mountains....hell if we wanted to, we would dig a fucking tunnel under these mountains like the Chunnel in Europe that goes under a fucking sea." Then, I look at the buildings, the skyscrapers and remember that every brick, every stone, ever nut and bolt was put into place by a man. See that tall ass pole over there with that big ass red, white, and blue flag flying on it. It is there because this is my fucking land. My fathers and their fathers lived here because it is ours and I am a man that will not let anyone stop us, men, from building even bigger shit, or climbing even bigger mountains. Then, when I get home and see my LTR, I approach her as a fucking man. As someone who could kill her, rape her, or beat the shit out of her....but choose not to. I approach her as a conquerer who cannot be defeated. I see her as the scared, insecure, vulnerable little girl that she is. She has no idea what she is doing. She only knows how she feels. I hear her words but know that she only wants attention from me. She only wants me to not forget about her. Her whining and attitude are just like a little girl trying to get attention from her daddy. Nothing more. Hope this helps man. Keep my words in your head and your LTR game will be on point.

[–]rpscrote0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the GREATEST IMPORTANCE when in a LTR because it is like having a pet vampire that you have to feed

oh man dude, I've experienced this in my last LTR but I couldn't figure out what was going on... you totally nail it on the head. This makes so much sense now. You're 100% right... it's an emotional echo chamber. Thanks again, this is really great advice. Maybe consider doing a LTR post on the energy vampire/stay positive point for all of TRP. Very powerful stuff. This certainly helps me

[–]DougieTheCaker3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

A lot of amused mastery and agree/amplify is painfully corny and not always necessary.

You always have the option to just blow by it ie completely ignore like you couldn't care less.

''Your best means of maintaining your dominant frame is to give her shit, even when she's not actively shit-testing you.''

This is very true and will decrease the amount of shit tests you end up getting. In the generic example of 'i dont date assholes', no need to even acknowledge it. Especially in the context of early interactions, just blow through those silly shit tests and start treating her like how you'd give an LTR shit, then watch the number of stupid comments/shit-tests plummet.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There's definitely a place for alternate methods of handling shit-tests. Using the No-Response and Hard-Staring counters are both effective, but they're generally not warranted except for harder shit-tests or ones that require you to jerk her harder into your frame.

[–]FatStig 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Usually the only reason for me at least, would be repeated tests. First time they get a jovial dismissal. Second time they get the hard stare.

[–]rpscrote-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

First time they get a jovial dismissal. Second time they get the hard stare.

Yeah man. I like to do this chain, 1) A&A jovial dismissal, 2) pressure flip "Still getting your panties in a wad over that one eh?," 3) hard stare / ignore

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The distinction should be made that the responses you've written up there are a mix of sarcasm and other things.

Now from experience I've learned that sarcasm can come off as complaining of you do it wrong. Do be careful you don't make yourself into a bitch.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I dont understand the title english is not my main language does it means "gice things to your girl"?

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It means to tease her. Give her a hard time.

[–]penguin_says_slide-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I have a question, OP. Would really appreciate if you could answer it.

So she shit-tests you, and through Amused Mastery, you give her shit back.

What if she keeps at it? AND keeps at it?

So after They're only assholes after you're done with them. she doesn't stop and keeps at it.

No, I'm serious, I don't. bla bla bla bla bla

And it's not that you can't respond back, but you're it's the number of shit tests, literally 30 of them in 3 minutes, her being RELENTLESS. It just wears you down. You get to the point where you're mentally going

For fuck's sake, just SHUT UP!

What do you do then?

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Depends. Some girls like to escalate the stakes because they're not used to a guy who can push back. Sometimes they sense that you're faking the confidence and they push hard just to break your armour. Maintain frame, act like she's saying the dumbest shit imaginable and laugh it off. Respond to shit like "No, I'm serious, I don't." with "Okay" and smirk. Over time you get so proficient with handling shit tests that it becomes second nature, effortless.

That said, there is a breed of chick that thrives on being a royal bitch to everyone she meets. She relishes the idea of being given carte blanche to shit-test -- these types of chicks you need to shut down. Something like "Are you always this miserable around men, or only Tuesdays?" or "You done?"

If she's still being a bitch, then just leave. You don't owe her your time.

[–]omega_fat-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell "For fuck's sake, just SHUT UP!"

[–]sterlinghtsmi-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do this when my girl is about to ride me...i ask " are you on it yet"??? She gives me that look that says, " we both know my pussy is not lose"

[–]Tezrekkt-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm wondering how well responding to shit with shit works, could you train a bitch to not shit test by simply responding to her shit tests with tests of your own?

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, it's called a pressure flip. Give her a curt answer to her question and then ask her a similar question that puts her on the spot. Works pretty well.

[–]rpscrote0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i love the crossover between pressure flip and nonsequiter game, start off with a legit "Why are you so bent out of shape" .... wait for answer "Why?" ... wait for answer "Why?" ... straight up 5th grade game

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I find this actually funny. Maybe this more a word of caution, but before I found about RedPill this month I had been exhibiting RedPill techniques despite doing a lot of BluePillish things. For one, I did exactly what you are telling people to do OP. In a way I was PurplePill or w/e, and the LTR I was in last year (major self proclaimed sloot BTW) started off by me exerting dominance of sorts over her.

I'm in the military and was going towards officership, and being in that lifestyle since I was 18 (21 now) really transformed me from definitely BluePull in HS to my transition of sorts right now. I naturally, or instinctively because of my "training" and surroundings, gave her shit constantly. Whenever I saw her in person (I only came back home occasionally on big holidays and leave) I would tease her, make light of her shortcomings, be sarcastic, etc. It was my natural way of acting with girls. She was definitely receptive of that and liked me immensely. When I was with her. Whenever I was texting her or talking on the phone with her from across the country my jokes and jests didn't work because they don't translate well unless you are in person. The LTR fizzled out, she obviously met other dudes, slooted it up, and by the time we broke up she had 3+ FWBs like a week afterwards.

Moral of the rambling story: giving shit to your hook ups and girlfriends works immensely well. But just make sure it's who you are. Don't do it unless you are the type of person to say shit like that. And for the love of god make sure they are receptive to it over text. A hook up I had last fall was really good on picking up on me giving her shit over text and the phone and we got along great. My ex was nightmare because she took everything so damn seriously and only got it when I was with her in person.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, you have to really simplify it for the thick girls, and even then sometimes they have trouble discerning giving them shit with simply insulting them. I used a modified cocky asshole game with airhead types. Save the subtlety for smarter chicks.

[–]despoticVeracity-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why hide behind double entendres? Why not just tell her "you and I both know you love confident assholes."

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because that's not how the game works. Saying "I have mastery over you" doesn't have the same effect as demonstrating it.

There's an adage that writers use to instruct fledgling writers, and it applies here as well: "Show, don't tell"

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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