How To Develop The Mindset That Magnetically Attracts Women

July 6, 2017

(The Following is a Re-post):

Do women think you’re a ‘nice guy’? Do you find yourself square in the friend zone with women again and again? I understand this frustration as well as anyone (I didn’t get my first kiss until I was 19).


Over years of trial and error I learned how to become emotionally (and sexually) attractive to women- in this article I’m going to share one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned about success with women.


What Women Really Want


Women want to be swept of their feet. They want to meet a man who is thrilling, even somewhat dangerous. They want a man who brings them into a new reality where anything is possible, a guy who makes all her thoughts about work, errands, drama--- vanish.


Some men, referred to as ‘naturals’ intuitively understand this and have a mindset that helps them give women what they really want. The power of this mindset is due to a psychological concept known as emotional contagion.


Emotional contagion means that whatever emotion we’re feeling gets spread like a disease to those near us. Scientists have found most laughter, for example, isn’t a direct result of a joke being funny, it’s a result of the laughter of others.


Surely, you’ve felt when someone else was anxious or uncomfortable around you. This was antimagnetic, wasn’t it? It made you want to get away from them. The same concept applies to dating.


Most men are too doubtful in their interactions with women, and because they doubt themselves, the women they interact with doubt them as well. The average man is in a constant state of looking for signals that the girl likes him. If he gets enough signals, he may move things forward.


He spends the interaction wondering if she will be okay with it if he makes a move. He wonders if she will reject him if he puts his arm around her or if he suggests hanging out at his place. His doubtfulness makes her feel doubtful, she can’t put a finger on it, but something feels a little off.


He can tell that she seems a bit uncomfortable, so he assumes that she’s not that into him, so he keeps his foot off the gas. He was planning on inviting her to his place, but now he doesn’t want to ruin his chances with her by moving things forward too quickly. When the date ends, he says goodbye, and kisses her on the cheek.


He texts her but she doesn’t return his messages. He figures she didn’t find him attractive, takes this as a blow to his self-esteem, and on his next date with a girl, is even more doubtful.


That guy (who represents the average man, btw) has got himself in quite the pernicious trap. Despite what he thought, the women he has dates with are (often) attracted to him. Unfortunately, when he’s on a date, the girl can sense he’s feeling uncomfortable, and then, as a result, she feels uncomfortable.


It’s tough, because how is he supposed to know that the women he dates are uncomfortable because of his own discomfort?


Positive Assumption


The rare men who are naturally successful with women have a mindset in common. They assume the girl likes them until proven otherwise. They move things forward until the girl indicates she wants to slow it down. When he walks next to her, he immediately grabs her hand. When he wants to kiss her, he holds her and leans in. When he wants to take her home, he invites her over.


A girl is much more attracted to a decisive guy because his lack of doubt makes her feel comfortable. Ironically, the guy who is afraid of making a girl uncomfortable by being too forward makes her uncomfortable by being indecisive.


The normal guy tries to avoid awkwardness by waiting until he’s absolutely sure a girl likes him to make a move, but he’s creating more awkwardness than he’s avoiding. The natural is more attractive to women because he’s more assertive. That sense that a guy knows what he wants and that he’s unhesitant to go for it, that is in itself a turn on.
To be fair, when the natural gets rejected, he will get rejected more overtly than the nice guy, but he also doesn’t spend all his time feeling stressed and wondering, “What if I went for it?”


Adopt the Natural’s Mindset


If you’re like the average guy who gets stuck in the friend zone it will help you to make a habit of taking assertiveness challenges. A very simple one is to go to any store and ask for an item free of charge. You probably won’t get the item for free, but that’s not the point. You’re facing the risk of rejection head on. This will help you build your assertiveness like a muscle.


The second component to becoming a guy who is compelling to women is to change your mindset. Your mindset is the lens through which you see the world. If you’re an extremely positive person your mindset might say that people are friendly and success is readily attainable by anyone if they work for it. If you’re more negative you might think that people are negative and success only comes to those with unfair advantages.


One mindset isn’t necessarily more objectively accurate than the other. But there is no one right way to view the world, the right way is the way that helps you. Furthermore, mindsets are often self-fulfilling prophecies. In psychology, this is called the Pygmalion effect: people who believe they will be successful are more likely to be successful simply because they believe they will be.


This is because the belief that you will be successful changes your behavior. If you believe you are destined for success you’re more likely to take the risks that you must take to succeed. Take me, for example. I know I’m not the best writer in the world, but I act like I’m destined to succeed. I regularly pitch articles to large websites with a million plus visitors per month. Sure, a lot of the time I get rejected. But I’ve also gotten published on some large publications and have gotten paid as much as $150 for writing a 1000-word article even though I’ve only been writing for about six months.


I’m not succeeding because I have some unusual talent or skill, I’m succeeding because my mindset entitles me to work hard and take risks.


Similarly, what do you think will happen if your mindset says that women aren’t that attracted to you. Well, you’re not going to want to approach a woman because you don’t think her day is going to be better for it. You’re not going to want to lean in to kiss a girl because you don’t think she really wants to. You’re not going to try to bring her back to her place if you think women aren’t turned on by the sheer sex-appeal of your presence.


I’m not saying objective reality doesn’t exist. Sure, if you’re physically unattractive, that’s a disadvantage (and you can and should work on it). But, by cultivating a positive mindset, your chances with women will improve no matter how objectively attractive you are.


Your positive beliefs will translate into assertive behaviors that will be more attractive to women. It might be hard to believe this if you haven’t experienced it, but I’ve seen guys who were far below average looking regularly succeed with highly attractive women. I’ve also seen guys who are much better than average looking totally fail with women. And the difference was their mindset.


The Seducer’s Mindsets

“Every woman wants me.” Delusional, I know. But can you see how this mindset can help you? You see the cashier making strong eye contact and you think, “She wants me.” Or, you see the cashier look away and make poor eye contact and you think, “She’s nervous because of how much she wants me.”


Is it true? Probably not (although, you never know). The point is, when you think she wants you, you’re much more likely to ask her for her number. And the very fact that you are confidently asking for her number is attractive. This doesn’t mean she will find you attractive, but it increases your odds. Beyond that, your odds would have been 0 if you didn’t try.


When I was developing this mindset, I would literally walk around and imagine that every woman who came near me was turned on by my presence. As far as I was concerned when a girl heard my voice, she would go home later and finger herself to the memory.


There’s an important nuance that I want to hammer in here. I knew on some level this wasn’t totally true. But I let myself flirt with the idea, it was a fun experiment. What shocked me, was over time, it actually worked.


Women have started saying things like, “I haven’t felt butterflies like that in years,” or “We shouldn’t be left in a room together.” Why? Because I’ve started to genuinely believe that women are turned on by me. That belief helps me to take assertive actions and project a sexual vibe.


Yes, I still get rejected by women, (because they’re too nervous in the presence of the most attractive man in the world.. ;) but I also have a lot more success with women. You should be skeptical about this. If you haven’t personally experienced it, it might seem absurd. But how do you know for a fact that this doesn’t work? I invite you to give it a try. Be skeptical, but see what happens when you start intentionally mindfucking yourself to believe that women are attracted to you. See if you start to take more risks. If you start to see women being more attracted to you. Maybe mindset is total bullshit, maybe it isn’t. Don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself.


I’ve found that by practicing assertiveness and intentionally pretending that every woman I meet is attracted to me; I’ve actually become more attractive to women. I’ve found that my self-belief is in itself attractive. It’s strange because it’s very intangible and it’s not something that seems like it should be attractive.


Yet, I used to be that nice guy who went on four dates before a girl finally lost interest, and now I’m not. See what happens when you start to filter your thoughts through the mindset, “Women find me extremely attractive.” You might make some interesting discoveries.

You can find more of my writing at:

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/TheRedPill.

/r/TheRedPill archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title How To Develop The Mindset That Magnetically Attracts Women
Author Socialinception
Upvotes 722
Comments 66
Date July 6, 2017 9:43 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link
Original Link
Similar Posts
Red Pill terms in post

[–]Menstrual-Cyclist248 points249 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hmm. Positive messages, no rage, and genuinely useful self-improvement information for building a solid mindset. TRP could use more of this.

Good post OP.

[–]Socialinception[S] 51 points52 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Agreed, some of the posts I've seen recently have me thinking WTF

[–]cornylamygilbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

is this literally the best advice I've heard that puts all the "puzzle" pieces together (at least for me anyway)?

yes I think it is

[–]Biptyboptybacon74 points75 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Honestly the best "beginner" advice I've read on TRP

[–]Socialinception[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow, thanks, I appreciate it.

[–]HAMMURABl5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its actually not even beginner advice, but advanced.

[–]HAMMURABl1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its actually not even beginner advice, but advanced.

[–]Biptyboptybacon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair nuff, best advice I've read as a beginner myself

[–]RU_Student42 points43 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This mindset is a great way to extend self-confidence. The internal dialogue you have eventually becomes the way you present yourself to others. You might not have to lie to yourelf and believe that you are the best at something bar none, but knowing in the back of your mind that you have the drive and motivation to succeed regardless of the circumstances goes a very long way - even past the dating world. Good post

[–]Socialinception[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, definitely applies to anything. A lot of it has to do with entitlement, when you have a positive filter for yourself it enables you to feel entitled to take the risks that will lead you to succeed in any area of your life.

[–]iwasbornred11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can confirm. Fake it till you make it works so well for certain guys, especially those who are at least average looking or better.

They've always had the firepower, they are just gunshy.

[–]ChickenBalotelli10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Glad you reposted....i was disappointed when i couldnt re-read it

[–]metallicdrama26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Women want someone who is genuine and genuinely a strong version of themselves. Stop trying to meet extrinsic measurements. Be the strongest version of yourself. Whatever you do, own it, hone it, master it. Even if it's nerdy as fuck. King nerd is still better than average Chad.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Agree on this. Consistently see advice here on how to get a job that attracts women, hobbies that attract women, etc.

Fuck that. You will be miserable and there is nothing "alpha" about living a lie for someone else. Be the best version of yourself. You might not attract them all but you shouldn't care if you don't

[–]metallicdrama1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. All these chumps get bluepilled at work all day then think their bank account makes them alpha while garbage men get more pussy than them. Then resent the happy garbage man for fucking his wife who lost interest because he's a miserable betabux.

[–]showerdudes994 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

One of the best posts i've read on this sub. I've noticed this myself, i'm an old bluepill with still a lot of bluepill habits (recently swallowed redpill a month or two ago). Recently not fapping has given me such a confidence boost and i walk like i represent the sex god himself and a lot of times when i have eyecontact with women and am at the top of my confidence, it feels like they are drawn to my sexual energy and magnetism, they will check me out like they want me to just fuck them on the spot. I have that insane confidence when walking out but i have 0 game and 0 escalation so i just keep it to eyefucks, smiles and then i move on, i've lost maybe 100's of fuck-chances by not approaching as i see them fling their hairs and do all the most obvious IOI's possible, smiling back/giving submissive looks and whatnot.

/blueballed for life

[–]Socialinception[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You probably have missed 100s of chances. When I started I couldn't approach or escalate at all and I didn't think I'd ever be able to. But through persistence I was able to change that, the same'll happen for you man.

[–]showerdudes992 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah i know, i'm just mentally masturbating myself so much when i have those days when women are checking me out because i'm just radiating confidence and has almost this sort of "glow". I havent had sex in so long also and it's like those flirtings and confidence boosts almost replaced sex, as ridicilous as it may sound. I need to start escalating a bit though, I have a feeling that on one of those days I could be talking to a woman and be fucking her maybe 20 minutes later if I play the game right. I just need to take the first step and fucking approach her.

Yesterday was ridicilous. I was sitting in the sun after my gym session in the morning, doing some meditation. I see this pretty hot but a bit older woman (maybe 30ish but hey you gotta start somewhere) holding hands with her husband walking, i give her a confident smile not giving a fuck she was walking with her husband, she notices it and blushes and looks down then after a while she comes back without her husband (like she was walking with him to somewhere just to keep him company) and she smiles back. I just sit there and as she keeps walking towards her place she flings her hair, plays with it, moves in an insanely feminine way with her hips. I just sit there and watch her go like a blue pill. She must have thought i was homosexual or something. unless im mistaken she definitely wanted me to follow her home? or what do i even do in that situation lol.

[–]Leonidas_791 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What kind of effects did you feel when you stopped whacking off?

[–]showerdudes992 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No more anxiety. Increased confidence. Mental clarity. Brain fog gone. Stronger/more energy, better gym gains etc. Question is rather what effects i DIDNT feel. Oh plus this crazy glow some days where i get women drawn to me like flies to shit for whatever reason i dont understand. It has never happened in my life before. Like some magnetism. Idk if its pheromones or what. If i had a wet dream or ejaculated then the same said women who would suck me dry on the spot would ignore me completely lol. As if they sense my balls are empty :D

[–]Leonidas_794 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You sir, know your shit. I did the exact same and it really does work.

"Fake it 'til you make it"


[–]Wallace44 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

"Women want to be swept of their feet. They want to meet a man who is thrilling, even somewhat dangerous. They want a man who brings them into a new reality where anything is possible, a guy who makes all her thoughts about work, errands, drama--- vanish."

Woman are simple, whimsical creatures who are not worth the trouble to pretend that you're the next fucking Richard Branson.

Here's an idea, do what you enjoy, lift, have life goals and a purpose, and if a woman finds that attractive then great. But dont kow tow to what you think a woman wants, because that want will change from one day to the next.

[–]TheHustlingWizard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed man. If a woman doesn't appreciate your qualities then move on to someone who does.

[–]Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. Women can seem fickle but if you understand the underlying psychological principles guiding their behaviors you can use your understanding of what they want to get what you want from them.

[–]GayLubeOil16 points17 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

The Natural Mindset is a function of the unconscious mind because the natural acts without thinking aka unconsciously or intuitively. The problem with most of TRP the Manosphere and Self Improvement in general is that it speaks to the the conscious mind in the hopes of influencing the unconscious. That shit never fucking works and is a waste of everyone's fucking time.

Now the strength of your post is that you recommend imagination/visualizion and undertaking experiences with the explicit purpose of generating an emotional state. That's great. I'm thrilled to see that. It will definitely have an effect on the unconscious if utilized.

Now for the constructive criticism. Unless you speek to the unconscious aka the soul no one will ever apply your advice. Trust me I learned that lesson the hard way.

Your writing doesn't speak to the soul it should and your definetly intelligent enough to make it so.

Here are some examples of such speach.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

A hitler video. I can't understand why everyone hates TRP!!! Thats why I dig TRP. Society would rather dispose of "bad" history despite what we may learn from it (I.E. medical research documents completely destroyed due to unethical practices). That dude was an increadible speaker; how one feelz about his actions matters not. Ill take the lessons.

[–]GayLubeOil8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I linked Hitler Castro and Shakespeare as examples of emotionaly rousing speach. There is plenty to learn from everybody.

At the end of the day what we are doing here is destroying beta emotional programing. So if we can rationaly analyize the rhetorical elements in a Hitler video we are on the right track.

[–]ionforge3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As much as he destroyed my country, Hugo Chavez is the best speaker I have ever hear, that guy truly talked to the soul of his followers, he could make them believe everything he told them.

Check how everyone goes to absolute silence when he is speaking, to screaming when he wants then to do it.

[–]Adam13940 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It was not destroyed. Bayern used those researches for years after WW2.

[–]Future_Alpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

medical research documents completely destroyed due to unethical practices

Despite what people think of the Nazi's they made great strides in medical understanding.

Those idiots censoring research because of 'unethical' (whatever that means) practices are the same christian idiots who censored science for 500 years in Europe, until the Renaissance.

[–]Socialinception[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Constructive criticism on reddit? Unusual, but I appreciate it.

I'll definitely analyze how and why those speeches speak to the unconscious, it's a good idea.

Do you have any examples of (non-speech)writing that really speaks to the soul?

[–]GayLubeOil-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My post The Real is written in such a way. I wrote it at 4am so it's definitely the unconscious mind speaking with some polishing done after the fact. I have a fancy flair because of my stylistic writing.

[–]HashiramaSama points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Lube, can you clarify what you mean by "Unless you speek to the unconscious aka the soul". How can I do this? Are you talking about how in Yoga (yoga yoga, not the western physical Hata-yoga), we slowly go towards the unconscious?

[–]GayLubeOil5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Watch the videos I linked and compare their stylistic elements to Obama, George Bush Macron or any other lacluster politican.

Good rhetoric changes you. Shitty rhetoric is like an airport bathroom you forget it once you are done with it.

[–]keysomea2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yo great post OP gave me some good laughs but really that was very good. Your post refreshes my eyes from the other posts which are mainly guys raging about anything they would like to.

[–]Socialinception[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There is a lot of victim mentality in TRP which is a shame because there's a lot of potential here.

[–]keysomea2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Victim mentality is typical of Nice Guys and AFCs that is just smh

[–]Leonidas_791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can't help but read "Arsenal FC" every time i see AFC, smh...

[–]Thephilhouse0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've read a few of this guys posts and they have all been spot on.

[–]Socialinception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, there's more to come ;)

[–]Chazn8r790 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is there more info. On this?

[–]Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This article was inspired by Julien Blanc's old Youtube content (2012-2014) so you could check that out. The channel name is Julienfreetour This book, Zero Fucks Given, goes into mindset and self-belief in depth.

[–]virusofthemind0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post. Attraction happens way below conscious awareness- you don't "decide" to find someone attractive- and as, such discovering the "vector" of communication of attractiveness and consciously injecting "attraction triggers" is the core remit of all pua.

[–]Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, the fact that it happens outside of conscious awareness is incredibly important. Tricky to really grasp, but once you do there's a lot of power in that.

[–]MonsterinNL19860 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Perfect article. You killed it bro!

[–]scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You've posted this before, I can remember reading it. It's solid insight tho, good post.

[–]Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah, it was on the main page of reddit and some mod deleted it so I had to repost.

[–]Alexinfinite010 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a fantastic and simple article. Thank you for writing it. I have been practicing trying to this out and even though my success with women hasn't been the best lately I have found that it has genuinely put me in a better mood and mind set throughout my day. It really is a win/win method of living

[–]prostaddict0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post. One thing that personally helped me - especially with that last point - is getting myself in shape. It's easier to see yourself as the prize and drive that mindset when you're satisfied with what you see in the mirror

[–]Socialinception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. The only thing to be careful here is a lot of people get perfectionist about this and tell themselves, "Once I"m at 7% bodyfat I'll start doing game."

As long as you don't fall into that trap, improving your physique is very helpful.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

how bout i just use hookers instead? who has the time to think about all this lame horseshit.

[–]Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If that's what you want to do then you would have no reason to click on articles that are clearly not aimed at someone who just wants to buy hookers.

[–]MillionaireSexbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you want to have to pay women to pretend to be interested in your life go right ahead

[–]white_girl_lover0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I loved this post and am glad you shared, definitely will apply right away.

Thank you.

[–]pmmedenver0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Rest assured I'll be checking out your website.

[–]hopeyesperanza-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Jesus fuck I dipped in here to see what all the fuss was about and a bigger collection of wankers I have never seen in my life. You little shits are pathetic!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's so funny you decide to post this on a self improvement post and not some random shitforbrains woman hating post

[–]notRobertGreene points points [recovered] | Copy Link

I knew what I was reading was hot air as soon as I came across the subtitle "What Women Really Want". Yeah ok Casanova. There's a spectrum on what women want. You say some want thrilling and dangerous. Well there's an argument to be made that some want the opposite: safety and security. Not all women are spoiled, basic, and from the West. There are women out there who want a man they can trust who will protect them and provide for their family.

[–]farendsofcontrast4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Are you denying the AWALT principle you fuckin noob? There are primal buttons inside every woman that you can hit with the right words/actions. And all those buttons produce the same result in every woman. Also don't ever ask a woman what she wants. Women don't know what they want. They say they want something but they crave something else. Its your job to give her something and tell her this is what she needs. I know some women are not as degenerate as western sluts but they're still women nonetheless and the things we learnt here have worked on women from all over the world for centuries.

[–]notRobertGreene points points [recovered] | Copy Link

You're calling out an Internet stranger. Sad.

[–]farendsofcontrast0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol are you serious man. Where are you people even coming from?

[–]reecewagner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He says, not recognizing that his initial post did the same thing

[–]Socialinception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All women want both, it's not black and white.

I could title it "What women really want within the context of their short-term mating strategies" but that wouldn't have the same punch to it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter