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I do so much better flying solo

November 20, 2013

Just something I've noticed over the years; most of my friends either suck at being wingman, get bored and nag when the attention isn't focused on them, or repel any girls i attract by being fucking weird. So i fly solo. Im not saying im some PUA or anything but I can deal with women so much better without other dudes bringing down my value. What are your guy's thoughts on flying solo, advantages and disadvantages?

(btw, im new to the sub, old to the mentality)

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Post Information
Title I do so much better flying solo
Author jobs33ker
Upvotes 32
Comments 32
Date November 20, 2013 11:59 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-do-so-much-better-flying-solo.8121
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1r3l1x/i_do_so_much_better_flying_solo/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]alt3031317 points18 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

What are your guy's thoughts on flying solo

Do what works for you but consider making some new quality friends that elevate your game and life.

[–]jobs33ker[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree, however when i meet cool people when im out, usually we do not hang out after that. Its usually a one time thing. I don't ask anyone for their numbers so if they dont ask for mine, thats the end of that.

on an unrelated note, i cant count how many times a girl / group of girls have approached me, only to have a friend say something stupid, and they immediately lose interest in me as a result. Im also too nice to ditch my friends for a girl. Maybe i should change that.

[–]alt3031314 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

when i meet cool people when im out, usually we do not hang out after that. Its usually a one time thing. I don't ask anyone for their numbers

Why? I don't understand? You are hurting/limiting yourself. Sunday I talked to several guys that were interested in similar hobbies. I exchanged numbers with two of them/two of them exchanged numbers with me. I've already touched base with one to hit up the slopes this weekend. At the very least we'll go down the mountain a few times, meet each others cabin-mates (we both have some girl cabin-mates ) and have a drink. There is very little downside to expanding your social circle by including more guys. Meeting more guys can equal more friends and meeting more girls.

Im also too nice to ditch my friends for a girl.

No you should never ditch real friends for women. If a guy is a good guy and has your back you should reciprocate. I don't see anything wrong with your current approach of occasionally leaving them at home and doing what's best for you. Also, if they're interested in getting better with women you could sacrifice to an extent in the short term to help you both out in the longterm.

[–]KublerRossWasWrong6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Also, if they're interested in getting better with women you could sacrifice to an extent in the short term to help you both out in the longterm.

One of the hallmarks of the true leader is that they raise up the people around them. They don't get to the top alone. They bring along their inner circle as well.

Note that the inner circle is generally well qualified, but lack something--motivation usually, or sometimes risk profile--to be the leader themselves. It's not a case of the true leader bringing random schmoes along for the ride, but the truly competent, capable coterie of trusted advisors he has surrounded himself with.

This applies in TRP club hunting as much as it does in business. You endeavor to develop a cohort of able-bodied peers, with the understanding that while you all are lacking in some particular area, with the right guidance--yours!--you will all benefit by covering each others weaknesses.

Many, many, many men and women in the business world fail to ever grasp this simple concept.

[–]HappyJerk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do what works for you but consider making some new quality friends that elevate your game and life.

I disagree. Being good at PUA has nothing to with being a "quality friend." Some of my most awesome friends completely suck at picking up/talking to girls and some of the best "gamers" I know are total and complete douchebags and fuckheads. PUA is just a skill that some people have and some people don't have and its a shitty way to judge people.

That said, I like to fly solo too. Most of my friends aren't good at PUA, and I would rather go for a girl I want than a girl that is part of a group where my friends can participate in too.

[–]puaSenator13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Solo is great. Not only do you have to not worry about wingmen not doing well, but you aren't restricted to carrying deadweight around or ensuring you both agree on doing something.

The biggest benefit is the sink or swim effect. You simply HAVE to talk and approach people. You have no choice. When you are with a buddy, it's easy to just BS and talk and/or use each other's company as an excuse to not take action.

[–]Mr_Bell6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I know exactly what you're saying, but I haven't tried this yet. So I guess my contribution can only be a question:

I get the feeling that if I showed up at a bar or club or whatever alone I'd be seen as a weirdo with no friends. Or even worse. I get the feeling that I'd drop the "I'm just hanging with my frinds and happend to bump into you, lady" veneer and look more like "I'm clearly just here to pick some pussy up".

Am I overthinking the whole thing?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm in a new city and always go out alone. I've learned a couple things to make myself not look creepy.

Don't be seen alone for an extended period of time (more than a minute or two). When I walk into a bar or club, I always talk to guys first. I've had much more success with women after I've been talking to guys for a little. It raises your value (and confidence for me). They notice.

And don't scope the place out for too long. Especially when you're alone. If you're looking around checking out girls, people notice. Do it quickly. Don't be the guy in the corner with a drink staring at women.

[–]jobs33ker[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah you are overthinking it. It's all about outlook. If you think you're that creepy guy with no friends out to get pussy, then you will exude that vibe and it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. I dont see it that way. I don't even see myself as "out to get pussy". I'm just out to have a few drinks, and not have annoying friends nagging me to leave at thus and such hour, go to another bar, or whatever. If i bump into some girls (usually happens, and naturally) I have no issues with telling them im there alone. As long as you're confident about it, it doesn't hinder you at all. Some people may even (gasp) think it's kind of cool.

[–]Mr_Bell2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I know what you mean. And I know one can't go solo conveying those things (one can't go out at all for that matter).

So what I meant was "don't women assume you're insecure or a rapist when you're flying solo?"

Although some think it's cool, do you notice more or less resistance?

[–]bobbyontario3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've lived in 3 new cities in the past year, I think what jobs33ker says is right. The moment I started dressing nice, standing up straight, making eye contact with people, generally being comfortable looking at whatever I want--sexy girls dancing included,--and thinking about how factually the-shit I am, people started flocking to me.

The girls just put themselves by you and smile when you smile, and they smile when you watch them dance without shame. Then you dance with them, and they think you're really cool.

[–]Mr_Bell0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


Thanks for the input.

[–]TRPinitiate-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


don't act creepy and you won't be perceived as such.

[–]HappyJerk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get the feeling that if I showed up at a bar or club or whatever alone I'd be seen as a weirdo with no friends.

Not if you're in motion. IF you're walking around you look like you're doing something (and you should always be in motion when you are approaching)

[–]TRP VanguardVZPurp3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I prefer going out solo. I find most of my friends always get stuck with an in-group mentality. They end up not meeting new people even when surrounded by so many. The larger the group I go out with, the more rigid they become.

Nevertheless, if I'm going out and want to meet new people, I don't let any person or group I'm with hold me back. I just branch out, start opening as if I were solo, then introduce them to my friends when applicable.

I actually find it a bit amusing how large crowds of people can have approach anxiety - stuck talking to familiar faces most of the time.

[–]thewrightstuff880 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

would you consider groups other than yours to have an in-group mentality as well? thus making it more difficult to break through and meet people when flying solo?

[–]TRP VanguardVZPurp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, but only to the first question. It's less being hostile to outsiders and more being comfortable with the known. I don't find it hard to open groups, but don't expect them to open you.

[–]Luckyluke232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

thoughts on going out solo for someone who has been solo the past 6 months.

it's hard. the only person you have to reply on is YOURSELF. though, I do have a few guys who go out every weekend who I can meet up with, so. it helps. but I hardly ever have a wing with me. most of the time I have to find one of them and tell them to open a set with me haha.

don't worry about your friends. if you are anything like me.. you will pretty much drop there chodey asses and move on with your life. also.


though i really don't think this is the subreddit to be talking about pickup so much

[–]_DirtyYoungMan_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All of my best pickups have been solo. It gives you the freedom to operate at your own pace and frame and if you want to change venues there is no need to consult anyone. And I've found that more often than not girls are actually impressed you're out by yourself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wingmen are just one of many options. For some people, its a great advantage. For others its just an impairment. Its all good :)

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]bobbyontario1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is how I started. In my case, over the years my friends one-by-one moved, got married, or became alcoholics, and the remaining drama wasn't worth it anymore. Then solo happened, and it felt like everything would have been better if I'd just done this earlier. Try man, on a Thursday or something.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i agree. you have an excuse to stay in your comfort zone when your friends are with you, and you won't mingle with strangers as much. also, tending and waiting on an entourage can limit your mobility. i work in downtown Denver, and over the last year i've found that it's fun going out by myself after work and listen to stranger's stories and outlooks on life. besides, people seem to be impressed when you're secure and brave enough to go out and socialize without the need familiar moral support.

shit man, i met a crazy young mortician who specialized in child deaths last weekend while i was out drinking lattes and beer after work. she's one of the most interesting people i've met this year, and i probably wouldn't have chatted with her if i was out with a friend because we would have been getting shithammered while talking about women instead of actually meeting new people. now i have a new friend an easy in to meet her friends.

[–]EarnestMalware0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, solo is the only way I learned how to fly and the only way I know how. No one I grew up around would do anything but try and shoot you down. I knew plenty of guys whose entire game consisted of putting the guys around him down to try and puff himself up. Yonkers, NY: You can't trust fuckin nobody.

[–]TRPNewJersey0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I knew plenty of guys whose entire game consisted of putting the guys around him down to try and puff himself up.

A friend of mine does this almost every time we go out in a group. He did this to me personally a few years ago when we had first started college. While I enjoy his company when we hang out (go to the gym, ski trip, etc.) he becomes a cunt in a social surrounding (bar, party, club, dance floor). I've learned to not hang out with him in those situations.

Always steer clear of people like this, they will only put you down.

[–]the_hibachi1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

gotta be honest, i didn't know this to be a rule until a few months ago. my buddy and i met these two beautiful girls and the first thing i did was make fun of him to them. they peaced, and he laid it out clear for me: never put down your bros in front of girls. it's my biggest rule now.

[–]TRPNewJersey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The important thing is that you listened to him. Some people are so arrogant they refuse. You learned and adapted, good on you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I always had a higher rate of success when I went out on a solo mission.

However, I did have buddies who were cool as shit and knew how to pull pussy using teamwork.

[–]lookiamapollo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have this too, my friends aren't good at playing wingmen. I do my duty when its them trying to hook up with a girl...

I don't really know how to do that usually I just attend events/activites and chirp people there and chit chat, or I run into someone I know and they introduce me and I meet people that way.

I suck at bar/club game though. Do you mostly do that?

[–]atlas870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have been out with a lot of weak wings but it really doesn't affect what I'm doing. If a girl I'm talking with says something as overt as "your friend is being creepy" I would pass it like every other shit test ... agree and amplify. "Yeah we're brothers and this is our first time out of our mom's basement in over a year." Something like that. If he sucks he'll just blow himself out and walk away. Encourage him, maybe open a real easy set with some fat chicks to build a home base where you can drop him off.

I went out with a wing for a while where we would PURPOSELY blow each other's shit up as a way to push ourselves to deal with this shit. Try to steal girls from each other, tell girls that the other was married with kids and his wife has been blowing up my phone, that he's a male prostitute, has AIDS, etc. This was in a large club environment and coming in hard and picking girls up and walking away with them was congruent. Obviously sub-optimal but it demonstrated that wings don't fucking matter. In that situation I would hold my frame, tell her he's clearly a homeless person, and walk away with her.

The optimal situation when going out is with a group >10 guys/girls that aren't going to really notice or care if you walk away for an hour, and just use them as a home-base to come back and re-charge with.

[–]No_DOX_for_you0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the guy really. I used to wing with this guy who was waaaay too outgoing for me. Not to mention we looked fairly similar, cept he was a bit more built.

Completely killed my game. I would always fall in his shadow. Also, he was kind of an ass. Too much AMOGing.

My new partner is the best bro I've ever had. For one thing, we're very contrasting. He's 5'6", blonde hair, blue eyes, and white skin. He's got kind of a Justin Bieber look going on. I'm 6"1', black hair, and olive skin. I'm more of a Joseph Gordon Levitt. I have to imagine this makes us look pretty exotic.

Point being, if you can find a wingman that contrasts you well it'll give you guys an overall SMV boost.

Beyond that though, you really have to be in tune with the guy. Me and my wing have great chemistry (no homo) but I'd say if you can't find someone you REALLY click with you probably are better off alone.

[–]torn_paper_heart0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You'll do better flying solo, but you will be much more motivated with a wingman.

As in, most wingmen suck - it's next to impossible to find a good wingman who raises your value without trying to steal the show, but it's a lot harder to go out alone. It's way more fun and easy to me to go out with a guy I like. Makes it fun. We challenge one another and push one another into sets. But I can't count how many sets I've had my buddy fuck up in some way (usually able to recover, but still it's annoying).

A good way to do it is to go out with a few guys you enjoy being around, but go into set alone. Then, you can go lone wolf but outside of sets have fun with them, and they are around to compare notes and text or whatever if you need someone to come in and help.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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