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"I would rather be murdered than raped" -- a theory on why sex is special

July 27, 2014
64 upvotes

We put one of my wife’s friends up in our guest room this weekend; he was in from out of town for a conference. We’re all up late, drinking beers (wine for my wife), and this guy starts to open up a little bit. His situation is kind of interesting. His wife has a lot of problems with her female parts, and after a lot of issues, turned out to be unable to have kids. So the two of them decided to adopt, which is great, but also a real bear. While any drunken, drugged up idiot under the sun can procreate without restriction and abuse the fuck out of their own kids, there are extreme measures in place to stop normal, psychologically average, middle class people who badly want children from adopting and caring for an unwanted kid that’s not biologically theirs. This seems pretty darn shocking alongside the state’s zeal for making men pay child support for unwanted children that aren’t biologically theirs, but whatever. Adoption requires you to pass more fitness and character tests than it takes to get into the FBI. And this guy and his wife are serious masochists. They’re so gosh darn goodhearted that they decided they want to adopt an older child (you get a stipend from the state if you adopt a difficult-to-place child), who comes from a bad situation. And being authorized to participate in the foster system, then adopting an abused foster kid is even more of a bear than plain jane adoption.

After leaping through more hoops than a circus monkey, they were finally given permission to adopt the oldest boy from a family of three kids in the foster system. The kid had been beaten, sexually abused, neglected, passed off to a relative who did even worse things, passed off to a foster family who did even worse things, then ended up with my wife’s friend.

So you’d think that the bar is pretty low and just about any placement anywhere would be better than the kid’s past situations, but the state requires this guy to sit through countless hours of classes on child abuse to make sure he doesn’t accidentally fuck up and abuse the kid somehow. So he’s telling story after story of all kinds of disgusting sexual abuse from his latest class – with kids as young as 18 months. This shit really turns your stomach. I can’t imagine what’s going through a fucked-up guy’s head when he has to take a baby girl’s diaper off to get to her vagina – I’m getting nauseous just typing that.

And so this guy goes on to say that back in college, one of his previous girlfriends was sexually abused. As you can probably imagine from his desire to save an abused kid from the universe, despite how badly the universe seems to want to stop him (and the fact that this kid is going to have some serious and permanent problems and anything but a normal life despite this guy’s best efforts), my wife’s friend is a bit of a white knight. His college girlfriend story goes about the way you’d expect. This abuse victim he wanted to save and comfort just couldn’t seem to get really close to him and form a proper relationship – definitely no sex. Eventually, she dumped him, citing her past abuse as an excuse, and he was happy for her. She went on to fuck a lot of guys in college, but she was working through her issues, so that was fine with him.

He commented that sexual abuse is the worst thing ever, and said that the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to anybody in his family or anybody he knows or cares about would be being raped. He’d rather someone he knows be murdered than raped. His words, not mine.

My wife, sitting next to me, agrees wholeheartedly and says, “Me, too. I’d rather be killed than get raped. And not just ‘cause death is the easy way out. I’d rather be beaten within an inch of my life, no matter how bad it hurts or how disabled I end up, than raped.”

Now I’m sitting there, and I agree that rape is pretty shitty, but you’d rather be dead? Nothing else in your life has changed except for the fact that a man stuck his penis inside of you without your permission. It sucks, it’s hard, but you still have family, friends, a job, a good life – nothing else changes. You’d rather give all of that up and be dead, never see your husband or daughter again, and have your daughter grow up without a mother, than be violated once by some man?

This conversation got me thinking out loud that night, so I went on to ask, what’s the difference, really, between being beaten up and being raped? If I’m stronger than a woman and want to exercise my power and control over her, and I punch her in the face repeatedly until she’s uglier than a horse’s ass, against her will, while she screams and cries and is helpless to stop me, making her a victim of my evil abuse, what’s the difference if I punch her face versus punching her vagina? And taking that a step farther, what’s the actual, physical difference if I rape a girl instead of beating her up? They both violate her against her will, they both involve me exercising my power and highlight her weakness and helplessness, they both do lasting harm, they’re both seriously illegal, they’re both classified as kinds of abuse.

Neither my wife or her friend could really explain it. There’s just something special and sacred about sex and our private parts, they say. Probably a cultural/societal thing.

So I proposed my theory: The difference between me punching a woman’s face with my fist and shoving my penis into her vagina doesn’t lie with her body. It lies with mine. I will achieve orgasm and have sexual gratification using this woman’s body if I rape her. Not so if I just beat her.

The difference between rape and a beating is that the rapist has an orgasm. The reason rape is perceived as so much worse than any other kind of violence/abuse is because the perpetrator achieves sexual gratification. At the expense of his victim.

Countless wives in unhappy marriages across the world are disgusted by the thought of having sex with their loser husbands. They’ll close their eyes and spread their legs for once-a-month duty sex just to keep the paychecks coming, but they feel dirty afterward. Violated. They didn’t really want the sex. But it doesn’t take long, doesn’t cost them anything, it’s not physically difficult or mentally challenging – they just lay there with their legs open. So what’s so bad about it? The guy has an orgasm. That’s what’s so bad about it. A loser man achieving sexual gratification at the expense of a woman is something that unconsciously disgusts women, at the very core of their beings.

They’re not hurt to any greater extent by unwanted sex than they are by a beating or a murder, but if you ask any woman on the planet what she’d prefer, she’d rather be beaten or killed than raped. She won’t understand why rape is so special or so much worse, but when you think about it, there’s only one fundamental difference between raping a woman and beating her: During rape, the guy climaxes. The sexual pleasure he achieved is something women feel that he “took” from his victim. The male orgasm is something women are supposed to dole out to worthy men. They hate whores, shame sluts, think porn is disgusting – that orgasm you have is something you’re only supposed to get when a woman finds you worthy. That’s the difference between a rape and a beating – not the victim’s experience, but the perpetrator’s.

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Post Information
Title "I would rather be murdered than raped" -- a theory on why sex is special
Author Archwinger
Upvotes 64
Comments 69
Date July 27, 2014 3:01 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-would-rather-be-murdered-than-raped-a-theory-on.18511
https://theredarchive.com/post/18511
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2btwu9/i_would_rather_be_murdered_than_raped_a_theory_on/
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