I recently got married so I’ve been out of the game for over a year, but I’ve noticed a disturbing trend every time my wife and I go out.

These days, every Bar and Club seems to be packed with mixed gender groups of friends who know each other from work or college… and when you talk to the guys in the group, I notice some of the most disgusting group dynamics I’ve ever seen.

There are guys nowadays who will hang out with a huge group of friends where none of the girls in the group have any sexual interest in them and instead of going out lone wolf to learn game or going to the gym to build SMV, they will literally gossip with these girls about the other dudes in their lives that are actually fucking them.




I have no idea how things got so bad but when I used to go out even 5-7 years ago, generally speaking, girls hung out with an all-female group of friends and guys would either go out to drink together to catch up on life or to try to pick up girls together. The one exception being All Asian Groups, which have the disgusting dynamic I just discussed.

Nowadays, what used to be common in Asian groups seems to have spread everywhere. Guys are too shy to talk to strangers in real life.

Cold approach was already a dying art when I started out but since last year, I’ve only met ONE person who actually goes out and cold approaches women.

Every other guy just goes "swipe swipe swipe" on dating apps, hoping to get lucky… while hanging out with a group of friends that includes guys and girls.

If this is you… If you find yourself in a group of friends where the girls don’t have any intention of fucking you, then I’m sorry but you’re a loser. My intent in calling you a loser is not to purposely insult you, but to provide a path forward toward a better future.

So What Should You Do?

If you’re that loser hanging out in a big group of friends from work with girls in the group who would never fuck you in a million years, the only way forward is to start building value as a man. Sadly, I speak from personal experience... but there’s really no other way forward.

I remember when I was younger, my best friend had a girlfriend who was a social butterfly and would invite this huge group of guys and girls to hang out every weekend. I tried hitting on her friends but I was an awkward borderline autistic Asian loser who didn’t know how to dress so of course none of her friends wanted to bang.

I remember it wasn’t easy to cut ties with this friend group, so I had to do it gradually, because I was too much of a pussy to just cut everyone off all at once.

It started with just cold approaching a few girls outside our friend group every time I went out, regardless of the women in the group judging me and telling me how creepy I was…

And eventually transitioned to a schedule of cold approaching every Friday and Saturday night for an entire year and a half straight, no interruptions besides Christmas.

The most painful thing I ever experienced was when I realized that my supposed “best friend” didn’t really have my interests in mind. Instead of cheering me on and being happy that I was taking action to improve myself, he joined the girls and other dudes in the group in shaming me for randomly going up to groups of women and introducing myself.

The craziest dynamic is that the more positive reactions I got, the more harshly everyone would criticize me.

That’s when I decided to cut everyone off and solely focus on my own journey, going to the gym and cold approaching every weekend.

Every time my best friend’s girlfriend would invite me to hang out with everyone, I’d decline and say I had a “date” (even if I didn’t).

It wasn’t pretty.

It was a painful, brutally ugly process of getting beaten down and rejected over and over again, then going on reddit the next day and asking what I did wrong and trying to recalibrate every single day.

It involved spending $1500 on a dating coach that didn’t teach me a single useful concept.

It involved fucking ugly fat chicks to start out and gradually working my way up

Before I finally figured it out and got to the point where I could get laid pretty much every night I went out, not counting logistical issues.

But boy was it worth it.

I’m at a point in my life where I’m genuinely happy with my results with women and thus decided to settle down. No more insecurities, if someone else has more lays than me, good for them, so be it.

You can’t read Marcus Aurelius and “Stoicism” your way to that state, because believe me I tried readjusting my brain into thinking everything was OK when I was miserable on the inside.

You have to actually get what you truly want, and then you’ll see that your life doesn’t magically change once you hit a certain number of lays, it’s the journey not the destination, and all that gay shit.

But you have to go through that journey of destroying the old you if you want to create something better. There’s no other way, because some things can only be learned from experience, not by reading books.

Final Thoughts

I acknowledge that it’s not easy to leave your social circle and risk getting ostracized. It might be the most painful feeling in the world, but it’s 100% worth it.

If you wanna know who your friends really are, start lifting and cold approaching when you go out.

If they make fun of you, they’re NOT your friends, they’re jealous losers themselves who will only try to hold you back the higher you climb.

In case you have this fantasy in your mind of reintegrating into your old group of friends once you get a hot girlfriend… where everything will magically be fine and you’ll be higher status in the group… think again.

I had this exact same goal deep in my subconscious when I started out and when I finally started dating hotter girls, the people in my old friend group didn't automatically start respecting me and treating me better.

They just get more jealous and make more snide remarks behind your back.

It’s a brutally harsh pill to swallow but it’s true. Once you establish a reputation as a loser in your friend group, it’s virtually impossible to climb up.

If you’re the loser of your old friend group, no amount of success will turn you into the “alpha male of the group”.

But that’s okay because screw them, you don’t need them.

If you focus on attacking your goals each and every single day, you’ll soon attract new groups of friends who are far better for you anyways.

That’s the beauty of being a man. It’s always easy to make friends if you share common interests.

So what are you waiting for?


And for God’s sake, stop hanging out with girls who don’t have any interest in you.

You deserve better.