If You Don't Like Her Past Then Leave

TunedtoPerfection · 2017-04-27T14:45:27+00:00

Men need to decide this stuff BEFORE dating. You should have your boundaries set in your mind before even getting to know her. Do not waiver for anything. It is not selfish, or wrong to have standards for a relationship and hold people accountable for their actions.

GR8AGN · 2017-04-27T14:10:13+00:00

I think a lot of it has to do with the white knight mentality. "I can save her from her past, with me she can be a different woman". Sorry man, if she's banged 20 guys in the 3 years, your just another number on that list

ransay3277 · 2017-04-27T15:57:56+00:00

The biggest freedom the red pill gives a man is the ability to walk away. This goes for all walks of life. Women, work, business or friends. We walk away from things that bring us down and gravitate to things that improve us.

V1SoR · 2017-04-27T15:35:32+00:00

From personal experience, higher than average N count usually means that the woman is less likely to pair bond with you the way you'd expect. It's not always an indicator of promiscuity, as long as there are no one-night stands involved. She's also going to be less happy and will blame you for it, vocally or otherwise.

jb_trp · 2017-04-27T14:23:31+00:00

The thousand cock stare is real. They truly are incapable of pair-bonding, relationships with women with high N counts are always a complete shit show.

JcHgvr · 2017-04-27T15:56:15+00:00

Contrary to what modern sexually liberated society may say, marriages and LTRs work better if the partners weren't promiscuous in the past. The whole "fuck a lot and find out what you like" is not going to work.

goldnhorde · 2017-04-27T15:23:00+00:00

This is fundamental PERSONAL HAPPINESS material right here.

I talk a lot about standards, and this is exactly what I am talking about. Who you spend your time with is a huge deal. This post is talking directly about LTRs, and it is accurate, but I would extend it to everyone in your life.

and it doesn't matter if it's just your "hang up". There is no reason to lower the bar because it's convenient to someone else or fits their world plan. You can only work in your own interest.

and there is never a reason to tolerate something that is not necessary to tolerate.

and lord forbid you want to have a kid. way before the conception, you have to do the most important thing about having a kid, which is picking out a suitable mate. and almost all the stories I hear that are bad to worse to the very worst .... starts with an unsuitable mate that was settled on for various reasons.

a suitable mate is one of the most important choices you will ever make (even if that decision is "no mate/no kid").

great post. set standards. communicate expectations. let everyone know your rules. stand by them with conviction. never compromise when it comes to your own interest.

gumbumbles · 2017-04-27T18:04:57+00:00

If she's bragging about her cock count and acting like it's perfectly fine.. I drop that I fucked an escort for a few months and it's funny to see her face try to hide her disgust while her brain is still in "don't judge my slutty past" mode.

Entropy-7 · 2017-04-27T16:15:53+00:00

"Insecure" is the go-to insult used by women and cucks when you, as a man, find something distasteful or lacking in your GF. It is used to cow you into accepting the otherwise unacceptable. Don't fall for it; move on.

[deleted] · 2017-04-27T15:44:46+00:00

I would have stopped just before the reasons.

Your reason can be asinine, thats your right. I am. My own judge, and i want to leave because you like blue skittles, then thats on me

sqerl · 2017-04-27T15:20:38+00:00

"the past is the past why can't we move on?" It's simple, we as humans are prone to recognizing patterns, this includes patterns of behaviors.

Unless of course you're a Republican government official with alleged ties to a particular sub-reddit. Then your past matters a whole fucking hell of a lot because feminist hypocrisy.

Watch what they do, not what they say.

VanityKings · 2017-04-27T20:20:09+00:00

What the fuck are you on about?
How many girls would tell you about their actual N counts or about stupid shit they did in the past if they're actually trying to get into a relationship with you? There's a reason women hide all this, because they know any man of value would not pick a high n count coke whore for a partner.

clonegreen · 2017-04-27T16:09:02+00:00

Wish I applied this logic it would have saved me years of an eventually horrible relationship.

She seemed reformed from her past drug use and promiscuous sex but sure enough, she ended up having sex with strangers again.

Everyone deserves a second chance and people do change but there's a reason why the cliche bad habits die hard exists.

Don't be like others who have let a problem in the past dictate your thoughts in the current, it's draining and you owe it to yourself to find another girl who doesn't have those traits.

MattyAnon · 2017-04-27T15:17:49+00:00

She may be right, she may have genuinely changed,

The only thing that has changed is her circumstances.

You want to know what people will do in the future? Just look at their past.

People don't change.... and even if she might, there's no reason you should have to take the risk.

exit_sandman · 2017-04-27T17:54:28+00:00

You are not obligated to stay with someone whose past makes you uncomfortable. If you ever told your LTR why you were leaving however

Also: you are also not obligated to tell her why you're leaving.

Just say some feelsy shit like "the feelings aren't there anymore" or something like that. Because if you try to reason your way out of a relationship, odds are that she'll try to reason you back into it. If you want to convince her that yes, she is for all intents and purposes a bad match not worthy of you, don't expect her to go along with that.

Simply use your feelings as a smokescreen for your actual reasons, and she can't argue with that. Because what is she going to say, tell you that you still love her and just don't know it yet?

TedCruzEatsBoogers2 · 2017-04-28T12:40:41+00:00

Women have convinced themselves this does not matter to men. It's kinda hilarious how upset they get when you tell them it actually does matter. Hope they can come to terms and decide the SMV hit was worth it.

hahayeahthatscool · 2017-04-28T03:24:02+00:00

Can't stress the post title enough. Wasted 3 years of my life in miserable bickering just to finally admit to myself she simply didn't meet my standards. What's the point of being with someone that doesn't make you happy?

iquitlurking · 2017-04-27T14:41:16+00:00

sorry for asking but what is an n count?

Frostfir3 · 2017-04-27T23:02:25+00:00

This is something that plagues me right now, she is my first and I'm her 25th. For those who talk about bonding, that is a real serious side effect, she just doesn't appreciate sex it's more of a business thing for her. I'm hoping as I have more experiences it will matter less and less as I have a case of oneitits, but in the back of my mind I know that will likely not be the case.

Luckily I'm lifting and dedicating myself to becoming better, but I have yet to choke down the rest of the pill. She found me and fell for me was I was the most beta cuck in existence, but I've grown with her and I'm not looking forward to letting go. I'm hoping she fucks up and makes it easier on me, but right now it sucks. Relationship is pretty awesome outside of consistent meaningful sex because of her rampant sexual past. I have the power to do whatever I want at the moment because she "loves" me so much, but as well all know that's probably crap and it's just my turn.

PlusGoody · 2017-04-28T12:34:34+00:00

I know many men who are married to known, admitted or probable former sluts. Every one of those marriages is a noisy, or a quiet-desperation, shit show. Wives withhold sex, harshly sarcastic and critical (you can only imagine in private), hugely irresponsible with money or kids, deliberately make themselves ugly or androgynous or allow themselves to get fat.

A slut can never truly appreciate a long-term partner. Her brain is wired to seek the masochistic thrill of new sexual submission, or the alpha-girl thrill of new sexual conquest. The inevitable -- and noble -- provider component of a long-term relationship (not just or necessarily money, but attention, support, companionship) just doesn't make her appreciative, or even makes her contemptuous because so many other men got her for little or nothing.

beta_no_mo · 2017-04-27T22:24:31+00:00

Yup. I was talking to a potential plate on Tinder over the course of a week or so, off and on. Each time we talked she would talk about the dude she fucked last night. Four times. In a week. Each time with a different guy.

Ghosted like Swayze.

ChooseAPooserName2 · 2017-04-28T00:20:53+00:00

Would you accept the LTR terminating the relationship if the roles are reversed? If so, then all the power to ya.

CrazedHyperion · 2017-04-28T09:18:39+00:00

That would be easy if people wouldn't try to hide their past, or episodes they consider to be unsavory. Often, the past reveals itself after a while, after the op already has become emotionally invested in the other person.

HappyScribe · 2017-04-27T18:01:02+00:00

Don't like the fact that she was raped? Just leave. Don't like the fact her dad abused her? Just leave. Don't like the fact she has depression after her mom died? Just leave.

You are not her therapist. In fact, trying to be an amateur therapist might do more harm than good.

Banincoming · 2017-04-28T02:30:36+00:00

Acknowledging the past exists is slut shaming!

kyledontcare · 2017-04-28T10:00:09+00:00

Dadgum good advice here, sir! Thank you very much! Who wants to date a girl whom you found out was a Sugar Baby from her Freshman to Junior years? With N=70? Besides, when did the past ever not matter? And when did it disappear or stop influencing her now or in the future? Never, that's when. She may have even found God, gotten saved, seen the light and found religion. Good for her. But does that mean she gets you? Nope. Turn around and start walking, even if it's on the slightest twinge of discomfort you have in your soul, no explanation needed.

Verne89 · 2017-04-28T11:35:18+00:00

This is so basic it makes me sad we had to post this Sadly we're a minority on this :-/

Mckallidon · 2017-04-28T12:53:59+00:00

I try to not even know their past. They lie aboit everything, don't remember shit correctly and are all hiding shit anyways. Give zero fucks and just make sure you're making her do things to forget, lie about and hide from the next chump.

n8dawwg · 2017-04-27T21:05:22+00:00

N count is irrelevant. She is NOT your girl, it's just your turn.

[deleted] · 2017-04-28T02:39:19+00:00

"the past is the past why can't we move on?"

Bad choice of words babe, I am moving on.

sjdfhskdjfh · 2017-04-27T17:33:33+00:00

I've been disgusted with the past of every girl I dated. I think if I ever want to have kids, I'll have to learn to accept it. Not sure if I can do that though... it really eats away at me. My current girlfriend just let it slip that she sucked off a half-black dude at a party in college, so now I have that image in my head...

spinalmemes · 2017-04-27T20:08:26+00:00

If her father was an alcoholic: leave If she doesnt know her father: leave If her mother was a drug addict: leave If her mother has been married more than twice: leave If she is an alcoholic: leave If she smokes too much weed: leave If she doesnt have a job: leave If she doesnt have stable friends: leave If she doesnt have a car: leave If she doesnt have a place to live: leave If she doesnt have sex with you: leave If she spends all her money: leave If she doesnt like dogs: leave If she doesnt ever buy you things: leave If she rarely uses logic and reason: leave If shes rude to your family: leave If she ever calls your workplace: leave If shes rude to you when you come home from work: leave If she buys fast food constantly and never cooks: leave If she reads your texts: leave If she asks to go on random vacations w other girls: leave If she asks for your passwords: leave If she criticizes your responsible money handling: leave If she smacks you: leave If she calls the cops on you: leave If she bitches about you to friends or mom: leave

SpeakerToRedditors · 2017-04-27T18:52:06+00:00

such a simple concept that so many have such a difficult time grasping.

hugeveinycock · 2017-04-28T01:06:37+00:00

This is so important. I know many men who stay with a broken woman out of pity for her, and ruin their own lives along the way. Horrible fucking idea, and yet extremely common.

Also I have learned that if I begin dating a woman, I try to ascertain as much about her family as possible. If her family sounds crazy, dramatic, draining, etc... SO IS SHE. You just haven't noticed yet, or she still has her sheep's mask on and is a good actress. But after enough time, you'll learn she is exactly like her family, and by them you'll have wasted a lot of time and probably been put through an enormous amount of bullshit.

My personal dating code involves only dating women from good families, especially ones where their father is and always has been in their lives. Women with dads are usually the coolest and nicest.

OGlancellannister · 2017-04-28T08:20:06+00:00

Yeah the amount of times I hear friends bitch about things like this, well on in to their relationships is astounding. It's almost as if they jump into dating since she's the first women who will open her legs for him, and then he considers her other attributes afterwards. Do yourself and women a favour and pre-screen.

JohnChrissy · 2017-04-29T03:03:38+00:00

This almost reminds me of "just say no" of the 1980s; much easier said in abstract than done in practice.

That being said, I think the kind of girl one targets in the first place, such as culture, hometown, etc. can help avoid this stuff.

CatfishMeNot · 2017-05-01T10:26:51+00:00

Found out that your LTR used to sell her body for coke? Then leave.

You got a story? Because I do... HB8, blew through her entire inheritance and sold her body for a while to pay for that shit. She's propped up on a betabux now driving his mercedes and popping out his kids. It opened my eyes

Penguin327 · 2017-04-27T19:58:24+00:00

Don't like the fact she's dated black guys? Then leave.

GnarlyBellyButton87 · 2017-04-27T16:12:51+00:00

Don't like that your LTR had a train ran on her in high school? Then leave.

Like she got run over by a train? Or she was a conductor?

Whisper · 2017-04-27T18:02:34+00:00

This is obvious.

What else could you do? The past, by definition, cannot be changed.

nantucketghost · 2017-04-27T16:46:33+00:00

deleted REMOVED BY AUTOSCRIPT - GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

SanjayMethylPump · 2017-04-27T16:48:02+00:00

Thing is, many people unecessarily disclose their past. What happen 10,20, 30 years ago is no one's business especially in dating context. Let me use your example of high school.

The human brain at that age is still developing. It is called neuroplasticity. The adolescent period is a hypersensitive period much like early childhood when neural connections are being made and old pathways are being pruned at a very fast rate. The brain is not even fully developed yet. So what she or even you did in high school should have no bearing on who you are when you are an adult in your late twenties when the maturation process has plateaued. UNless of course it has landed them in a state of affairs that effects them today, for instance, their behavior in adolescence landed them in jail well into adulthood, which limits the way their brains will develop.

I am TRP as it gets, brudda, but I think writing someone off for a high school or adolescent thing is very stupid and hypocritical, not to mention the mark of lack of wisdom and psychological naivete. Is your prerogative and individually your choice, but bear in mind the neurological and psychological realities. People change. Environments change. Brains and personalities change. This is scientifically proven fact, my brudda.

But if in her adult age she has banged the whole block or got herself in jail or whatever, you can rest assure that this is who she is.

failberry · 2017-04-27T14:46:28+00:00

When we can say it's a high n count? Like 3? 5? 10 before 25?

Gerstlauer · 2017-04-27T17:28:07+00:00

So much truth.

I spent 4 years lying to myself in a relationship because I tried my hardest to rationalise her shortcomings. If it doesn't sit right with you, it never will.

YiloMiannopoulos · 2017-04-28T02:12:46+00:00

Past behavior predicts future behavior

Machete94 · 2017-04-27T16:51:40+00:00

Thanks for this. Precisely what I needed to read.

IAmBeachCities · 2017-04-27T20:18:47+00:00

lol yeah no shit. but what if you had sex with 2 girl at the same time in highschool then met a perfect girl and she could'nt get over it and left. thats her choice but it doesnt mean that she is just the next number. why be so afraid and guarded. if she turns out to be a slut and you trusted her its not your fault, you don't need to feel stupid. but you shouldn't pass up a any healthy relationship because your beliefs about what some automatically is if they have had a less than chaste past.

d3g4d0 · 2017-04-27T19:32:07+00:00

Something about this post rubbed me the wrong way. First of all, you shouldn't be in a LTR with anyone. And for what's it worth, if anything in a girls past does make you "insecure" then you're being a little bitch. Sure you can walk away whenever you want and if she does something that's gives you reason to then go right ahead.

But to sit here and say "oh bro she had sex with 20 guys in a span of three years I gotta leave now" is moronic. I think it's telling of who you are. My favorite plate fucked a lot of dudes before me and probably sees some other guys throughout the week. But why should I give a fuck? I'm out there doing the same thing.

This thread gives way too many fucks. Stop being a boy and realize these girls are out there fucking. Lift, spin more plates, make more money, and do you. Don't hold some girls past against her because you can't fucking DEAL with it.

abbafishhead · 2017-04-28T07:37:20+00:00

Remember that if you choose to walk away do NOT explain yourself. You owe her no explanation. If you must feel the need to say something, say that you aren't happy with her. That's it.

This is crap. You'll drive her crazy, and she'll go as far as slinging false rape accusations. Just ghost away. That's it. Closure is for pussies.

twatbutters · 2017-04-28T21:21:18+00:00

This is why I like having plates (mainly via tinder)-- you don't have to give a shit about her n-count, you just plow the girls you like. Only men with no options (sexually desperate), or people really looking to make a family, settle down. If you settle down with a high n-count, used up hag, then expect nothing but suffering down the line.

wtf_is_taken · 2017-04-28T21:46:57+00:00

So true, sometimes leaving after the approach is just as hard...

Cornslammer · 2017-04-28T23:07:30+00:00

Oh, straight guys who think N>20 is high. So cute!

xRedStaRx · 2017-04-27T17:35:48+00:00

I can't deal with OUR past, how do you think that makes me feel.

Landry86 · 2017-04-27T17:30:02+00:00

I could not agree more. It's not fair to her or yourself if you continue to engage in a relationship where the person's past bothers you.

If you can't forgive and forget you must move on

ecosci · 2017-04-27T21:32:30+00:00

Thats true but what about the dirty things that she is going to do down the road it will come for sure a good past doesnt mean anything in terms female nature.

GreasedLightning · 2017-04-27T21:41:09+00:00

I find it alwaya helps to think like a fat independent black woman, who don't need no man.

Seriously. Their level of self-importance is something you need in life if OPs examples sound familiar.

throwawayracism00 · 2017-04-28T04:49:38+00:00

This kind of thread is so dumb. If people can't change, then why the fuck are any of you wankers here? Well you used to jerk off to porn excessively? Well then you always will and it will ruin you for future LTRs. That's the logic you're using here. Throw in a few pseudoscience links which can be found to support any bullshit you want and BOOM an upvoted TRP post.

This entire sub is about improving yourself. It's about changing how you live your life, your values, etc. Men and chicks are different, yes. But they're not different fucking species. Jesus, boys. Stop being such fucking sheep and think for a second. If you like a girl, she meets your current requirements, and shows successful effort towards not repeating past mistakes, then WHO FUCKING CARES?

To the guy who said "leave her if you don't like that she dated a black guy in the past." Wow. Just fucking wow. TRP has nothing to do with being fucking skinhead. Go back to your cave, dragon or wizard or whatever level KKK you are.

Title	If You Don't Like Her Past Then Leave
Author	studentsensei
Upvotes	769
Comments	236
Date	April 27, 2017 1:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/67vo5p/if_you_dont_like_her_past_then_leave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/if-you-dont-like-her-past-then-leave.42861 https://theredarchive.com/post/42861