Summary:

Women say they want to be treated equally. Do not believe this! Women are used to special treatment and they will call you misogynistic if you do not give it to them.

I will illustrate it with women in the STEM field. But this is just an example. It fits on other areas, too.


Do you remember this discussion about Tim Hunt, the "misogynist scientist”?

https://archive.is/OlK6Y (no need to read it)

One thing stared into my face:

There are numerous testimonials from women describing him [Tim Hunt] as a caring and inspirational mentor, one who never treated his female students and colleagues differently from their male peers and has aided in their advancement.

This is a mistake! Don't treat women and men the same!

I've read a lot of stories from women studying STEM. And I noticed one common theme:

  1. They often complain about a hostile environment.
  2. They never can point a finger on it. They can not mention specific incidences.

Sure, once in a while there is a cat call. Or a male co-student awkwardly asking for a date. But this was not the problem according to them. It is a dubious hostile environment. And I think I know why they feel hostility:

Imagine you are a 20yo woman and a 7/10. The world bends over backwards for you just for this already. Now add that you are also skilled in maths and physics. Your high school teacher probably tells you that you are gonna be the next Marie Curie (except for the dying part). And now you enter a STEM course. Boom! New world! You enter a room full of men. Normally, in such situations, everyone would greet you... "Hey! Nice that you are here!" "Yeah, come over here..." You know, your male orbiters you usually have as an over average 20yo woman. Even if you do not want to fuck them, you enjoy having orbiters. But a room full of male STEM students? Silence! Maybe the guy you sit down next to says "hi" to you. But I never witnessed a girl getting just one compliment in a STEM course for her looks. Never! May it be because they do not view STEM classes as a good place to get a girl. May it be because they are stereotypical nerds. May it be because they have already a girlfriend. May it be because they are being told not to "harass" those poor STEM women in STEM classes. Oh... and of course your are not anymore the next Marie Curie, but just another student with average skills.

Get this: From a beloved princess who is a genius according to her high school teacher to just another student struggling with classes. From the life of a 20yo woman to a life of a 20yo man. This is not what any woman wants. This is the problem with STEM. Women are treated like men there. Being treated like a men feels hostile to women. And it is. Welcome in the life of a man...

Back to Tim Hunt. His problematic quote was: “Let me tell you about the trouble with girls. You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticize them, they cry!”

He is an idiot for saying this, because he should know what would happen if you say something like this today. But if a woman said something like this about men in a joking manner ("they fall in love with you, you fall in love with them, and if you reject them they are broken" - I changed it a little because crying just does not fit to men, nobody would say it that way), nobody would have cared. Thing is: You can't treat women like men. Women want special treatment. Women expect special treatment. Women get special treatment from society. And if you do not join (or pretend to join), you might get in trouble. Hell, there are even situations in which it is impolite if you as a man do not compliment a woman's look.


Lesson to be learned:

Women do not want to be treated like men. Even if they say so.