~ archived since 2018 ~

Instantly increase your value

January 1, 2017

Here is a simple yet effective technique I have tried and it works everytime. Not going to give a philosophical lecture that why it works, the simple thing is that we are programmed to seek happiness, comfort, and pleasure. And you can use hack your social life using this loophole.

Act happy. That's all it, act happy like you have won a lottery ticket, like the world is completely fair and free from suffering, like you are going to heaven after you die...

I am not telling you to be happy, that might be not even possible for you. You might have a stressful job, you might have a cynical and logical mind, you might notice the unfairness of the world more than others, you might be treated by others like shit, you might not have basic human needs and relations to live a happy life.

The key is to pretend. Just try it, and see the results. Talk positively about everything, every fucking thing, even if it makes you cry from inside. Mother died? Feel any emotion you want to feel but show to others that you are thankful, she must be in suffering and death have freed her of it. Hamster to the next level. Show others that you can't think negative.(Death of mother is just to illustrate an example, hopefully you won't start arguing about it)

I am myself nihilistic, cynical, and always complaining guy. I pretended to be happy, and oh boy the attitude of people towards you shift significantly. Everyone's a sucker of happiness, and when they see a happy person they want to get associated with that person. Because they think that they can get happiness out of you. That person must have something already that they are seeking, something that if they will get they will finally become happy.

Works with the chicks too. Chicks nowadays have a abundance of choice, with one swipe they can bring a guy that can distract her from feeling like shit. They now have low tolerance for the guy who is not making giving her mental high. The guy who isn't happy can't give her any kind of high. She rejects you. I shamelessly tell girls, that how much awesome and happy I am. And they easily believes me. The truth is that I am depressed from inside, and later if I even tell them that the awesome me is just a lie, they would shut me up. Not because they believe me that I am actually awesome, its because they themselves want to keep believing that I am awesome so they can continue associating themselves with me.

Debating that such thing is right or wrong is an interesting topic. But here I am only sharing a trick with you, its upto you to experiment with it or not. I only knows from my experience that this trick is 100% effective.

One advantage of pretending to be happy over being actually happy is that by pretending you are not dependant on the external world. Shit happens all the time, but it won't be effecting your simulacra since its not real at the first place. If you rely on actual happiness, then you will break the moment the shit happens and a negative thought appears in your mind.

Also you will learn to be not anxious. You will be allowing negative thoughts to appear without getting anxious about it, since you won't be putting pressure on yourself to be happy all the time.

Deception makes you powerful. Learn this art.

Edit: It is not at all a guide to be happy. It is a guide to increase social value, or become more likable and fuckable. If it helps you actually become happy, then good for you.

Edit: Or you can just play this song in your head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoQ4GidQP-k

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Post Information
Title Instantly increase your value
Author atifhere
Upvotes 631
Comments 86
Date January 1, 2017 8:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/instantly-increase-your-value.39564
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5lgzqb/instantly_increase_your_value/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll209 points210 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

OP is basically right.

Being a negative little bitch is a downer, and adds fucking nothing of value to the world.

Being positive, happy, and smiling... just by itself, with no other accomplishments at all... adds some tiny ammount of value to the world.

Like a freshly-painted blank wall versus a rusty, dirty wall covered with shitty graffitti; the blank paint adds some small value, while the shitty graffitti takes away value.

TLDR: Don't be a sad-sack loser. If you can't avoid being a sad-sack loser for some reason, then at least pretend not to be one.

[–]j33tAy8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amused mastery.

A lot of your post and OP post is spot on.

To add, you don't have to even say much. Make people wonder why you're in a good mood.

They will naturally want to find out why and be a part of it.

I do sales and sales training. This is human relations 101.

[–]obama_loves_nsa10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is a natural human tendency to dislike a person who brings us unpleasant information, even when that person did not cause the bad news.

-The most famous psychologists on Earth

[–]segagaga25 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

While I agree OP is right that people are attracted to and easily swayed by happiness, and happiness is both part of frame and fake-it-till-you-make-it, happiness even pretend happiness is not always easy to pull off.

But what I wanted in particular to respond to, is that not everybody can be, or will want to be, or will be expected to be happy. And that doesn't in any way make them a sad-sack loser or a negative little bitch. Don't be too quick to dismiss those heavy faces you see passing you by.

Do not judge a man until you have walked in his shoes. Be happy or pretend if you must, but always respect those who are not, because you know not what burdens they bear.

[–]lanky329 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look, you suggest not to judge people who do not look or who cannot be happy because of whatever circumstances. That's a good advice.

That being said you will not be drawn towards these people isntinctively. Inspite of having a cognitive understanding of the fact that everyone who looks grumpy is not necessarily a loser, you would still be attracted towards happy people and want to stay away from the not so happy ones.

You cannot change what you are naturally attracted to. OP is not asking us to stay away from people who look unhappy. H e is saying that people are drawn towards those that are or act happy and stay away from those who look grumpy, it may or may not be logical or correct, but if that is how the world works you should use it to your advantage.

[–]1Paid_Internet_Troll2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But what I wanted in particular to respond to, is that not everybody can be, or will want to be, or will be expected to be happy. And that doesn't in any way make them a sad-sack loser or a negative little bitch. Don't be too quick to dismiss those heavy faces you see passing you by.

Your advice may be technically correct, and I may even accept your advice on an intellectual level...

...BUT humans are built upon hundreds of thousands of years of instinct and absolutely non-rational and non-intellectual almost-pavlovian responses to stimuli.

If you walk around sad, depressed, and weepy because you feel that your life sucks, and that you have no control over it, then 99% of the human race will treat you like a sad-sack loser (either to avoid you like the plague, or to gravitate towards one of thier fellow losers).

There is no intellectual, rational, compassionate argument, no matter how correct, that will make this phenomenum go away without a few hundred thousand more years of evolution.

Plan your human interactions accordingly.

[–]segagaga1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh i agree, most people are as shallow as fuck, but I do not need to sink to their level to portray happiness or manipulate social settings.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Basically the entire book of how to win friends and influence people (included is listen more talk less).

[–]Dom987_2 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Recent lurker here. I rarely post online but wanted to jump in on this one.

This is an interesting post. I used to play around with this concept and it does indeed work. In fact, an interesting thing happened which I'll explain in a minute.

Anyhow, I started doing something similar to what the OP suggests a long time ago. When around a woman I wanted, I would simply think of a specific thought that always gave me joy. It immediately would change my demeanour as I could feel my face relax, my eyes open wider and a smile would seem eager for an excuse to trigger.

It wasn't until I started doing this that I realized I was walking around with a blank look on face that could easily be misinterpreted. Apparently I have an 'intimidating' look and this technique has taught me to soften it.

I now am much more approachable and the results speak for themselves as both men and women will initiate conversation with me. They simply pick up on my 'energy' and know that my response will most likely be positive, which puts them at ease.

Anyhow, I mentioned earlier that something interesting happened. Instead of thinking of that one thought that gave me joy I started thinking of several others. I then noticed I was thinking of happy things that I had forgotten about. I'm definitely a more positive person overall since this all began. I guess somewhere along the path I had forgotten about the forest for the trees.

As far as it not being a technique that alphas use is complete bs. Alphas are always looking to improve themselves in all facets of their life. You don't just wake up one day an alpha. I used to be beta when I was younger but trial and error and experience and forgiving myself for failing is what turned my toward an alpha lifestyle.

I'm 49, never married, no kids, self employed professional, good looking, athletic, charming, slept with literally a boatload of women, etc etc. I love my lifestyle and so do all my married buddies. But I'm always open to learning and trying new things.

Some of you little grasshoppers shouldn't be so quick to judge. The OP is well on his way in the right direction.


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your problem with the blank face is exactly what I struggle with. Thanks from a fellow trp lurker! You might have just saved my ass with your technique

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, Dom! I too suffer from the blank face syndrome. Everyone misinterprets it as a resting sad face or resting angry face (even though I'm not feeling any of those two emotions whatsoever).

Definitely going to try this one. Cheers.

[–]lanky3217 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a very, very good post. It is on point.

I can vouch for this from my personal experiences. The times I have acted happy, people are drawn to me. I am not a whinger, I am seen as a leader within my friend circle.

But on the rare occasions I have expressed doubts or complained people have disappeared for sometime.

And that is when my generic demeanour is upbeat.

There are two very pertinent points all you droopy faces need to understand:

Everyone faces challenges. As a man you are expected to solve these on your own. There maybe a couple of people at best who would be willing to help you in the journey. If you burden your friends with a general negative demeanour they would disappear. Nobody wants to be with a downer.

Don't take this personally. Understand that most people are pressed with their own problems, they want to be around people with whom they can temporarily forget their own problems.

That is precisely why there is a movie industry in the first place. Movies help you escape from the real world into fantasy land. That is why we love fairytales and stories of super heroes as well.

And no. unlike what a couple of posters down below have mentioned, you can have a mission and still act happy. These two are not mutually exclusive.

Acting happy does not mean that you have to smile like a doofus all the time. Just cut out cribbing, cut out complaining and whinging. Crack an occasional joke or too. That's pretty much it.

[–]TheLaughingRhino points points [recovered] | Copy Link

What I find works for me - Be grateful

I.E. be thankful for the blessings you have in this life. If you live in America or in the Western world and reading this on a computer with an Internet connection and in a warm house and will go to bed at night with food in your belly, that's tons more than most of the rest of the world.

I've been to places in the world where children are conscripted as soldiers, where girls not old enough to have their periods yet are sold into sexual slavery, where there is no clean drinking water, where it's no uncommon to suffer and die for what you and I could get fixed or treated like it was nothing.

Being thankful for the things you have is a good way IMHO to put everything into context. If you strike out 100 out 100 times with some cute chicks, but you sleep at night in a warm bed with food in your belly and no one is going to drag you and your family in the middle of the night and shoot you in back of the schoolhouse, then your life is probably not that bad.

Personally I cannot "fake" happy. I'm sure others can, but I can't. However when I am grateful, I think it puts me in the positive mindset and helps me see abundance in my life around me. I'm not sure people want "happy" but I think people do respond to "genuine" Someone who is genuine and open about it is so fucking rare, you might call it ta partial unicorn.

Be grateful and by extension, be genuine and simply accept you cannot change the world, but you can change how you choose to engage the world. And if how you choose to engage it means you must stand alone, up against the tide, against all odds, then I say fuck the entire world. Fuck it right up the ass.

I do not subscribe being "Fake" except at work. Work is an entirely different animal. Though I see it less as "fake" and more as "playing the game" It's weary bullshit, but you are dealing with weary full of bullshit people most of the time.

Wake up in the morning and think about five things you take for granted that some others in the world would give up everything to have or have again. I grew up with a guy who is now in a wheelchair. He is a millionaire. Self made, hard worker, good person , just bad luck and bad health. He'd give every penny to walk again. Whenever I feel like feeling sorry for myself, I think that I can walk, he cannot. And I've never seen him pity himself, not in front of others. If he can't walk and won't bitch about it, who the fuck am I to bitch about anything at all?

Happiness = Readjusting your expectations

This is why most women, esp most "basic bitches" are never the fuck happy, because they EXPECT EVERYTHING. They WANT EVERYTHING. They NEED EVERYTHING. And they want it, expect it and need it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You gotta have gratitude when the biggest struggle in your life is getting laid, not getting food or not getting blown to bits.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your elaboration of the subject speaks a lot more to me than OP's post. You know when they say: "Just be yourself"? That's actually really good advice, as long as "yourself" isn't an incel. People can look through the fake shit you put up.

I had the mindset of "fake it until you make it", and while I was having a good time on the surface, I really was miserable and it didn't improve over time because I couldn't lie to myself.

I genuinely am a optimistic person with a positive outlook in life, but nobody is constantly happy their whole life. Having good friends, male and female, to talk about rough spots in your life improves your mental health and makes for a lot more meaningful interactions.

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do not subscribe being "Fake"

I agree

Yes, a guy faking their way into pussy is a sexual strategy. It is not wrong OR right. It is an option.

However, the reward is shitty and does not provide the health benefits a guy should be looking for.

When a chick truly wants to "fuck" you for what you present and if the presentation is a true representation, the hypothalamus reward is 10x's greater and lasts much longer. It makes a man hungrier and work harder for better things.

[–]JLCitadel32 points33 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

100% true. Think about it, who the fuck wants to speak to someone who bitches or is negative all the time? Toxicity breeds toxicity happiness breeds happiness. Also, fake smiles turn to real ones and release serotonin apparently. (No source just internet grape vine)

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's actually true though. If you pretend to smile you will end up smiling.

[–]30fretibanezguy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's true but when it comes to long-term appearing happier than you are its like holding back a river. I disagree with OP's part about your parents dying. Just take the short term grief and use it to better yourself. You can't pretend that shit doesn't affect you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think ops messages goes primarily to girls who you want to fuck you feel? It's okay to be emotional around people you trust but never bitch or be a downer to girls you tryna put your seed in

[–]iopq2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Think about it, who the fuck wants to speak to someone who bitches or is negative all the time?

I do. I want someone who I can relate to.

[–]Donald_Fuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you've ever worked in retail you'll have experienced it consciously or unconsciously, how you are projecting (happy/unhappy) will affect how often customers will approach you.

I've used the smile technique and it can work. It can't pull me out of a decent depression but it can help me lighten up and stop taking shit too serious.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This is the basis of how to win friends and influence people. I read that book like 3 times (particularly the first half) when I was trying to figure out why all my job interviews went well but I received no offer. I did this, smiled more etc and I soon had several offers to choose from. That easy. Also be more expressive with your face and add in some banter.

[–]lanky320 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Can you expand more on the interview part. I am someone who does not have a natural smile and when I do smile it comes off as forced.

I am also in the middle of giving several interviews. Can you expound on the interview part?

[–]Marcus11382 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One of the things that makes the smile look authentic is the eyes. You can kill two birds with one stone by doing the "squinch", as photographers call it. You squint your eyes a bit, then raise the top of your eyelids. So basically your top half is like you're opening your eyes wider, your bottom half is like you're squinting. The net effect is that your eyes are pretty much the same size, but they've moved up on your head a bit. Hence, they're more likely to reflect lights on the ceiling (giving your eyes that twinkle), and you get some creases around the edges that make the smile look warmer.

[–]Purecorrupt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you can't fake smile - then fake smile and think about how stupid you look - then you'll smile for real.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They are looking for someone they have to spend all day with. Raise your eyebrows when you smile. Don't be nervous be over confident (comes from over preparing). Otherwise be positive and learn to banter. That's it. Read the book.

[–]PurpleBanner3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here is a simple yet effective technique I have tried and it works everytime.

A comprehensive oral hygiene program?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This technique works because what's happening inside your head will manifest in your body and people are good at reading body language. Read this from The Charisma Myth. So when you fake happiness, you body will display happy language.

[–]Endorsed ContributorWoujo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's the thing nobody in our modern society wants to admit:

Delusion works.

You can literally lie to yourself to make yourself feel happier. That's the basis of religion and why I am religious. Psychologists have even discovered that one way to overcome trauma is to re-enact that trauma, but with you "winning" the encounter. It's fake, but it makes you feel better, EVEN IF YOU KNOW IT IS FAKE.

Delusion works, so be delusional, but just don't let that fuck up your rational thinking capability.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

top comment (18): OP is basically right (I agree).
2nd comment (07): women motivated toward guys who have a mission (I also agree).
good advice: "there's a place for 'fake it til you make it.' That place is limited."

Left Brain/right brain: yes. Have a mission. At idle speed put on a nice happy face, pass all of Life's shit-tests.

love this advice. Fake it 'till you make it is limited advice, but it does work in many circumstances.

"when a family member dies, I surely won't go to a bar like 'yeah let's pretend it's fully okay, that's the way I get a bitch tonight.'"

An exception to the rule, of course you must grieve a loss which is part of the human experience. For those of us whose close relative did not just die...


This is Fake It Until You Make It, Expert Mode.
I like this advice and I reckon it to hitting puberty: Parts of you are still a child, other parts of you have already developed into an adult. Taking the Red Pill is no different. I took the Red Pill. I still had Blue Pill Tendencies. Took a while to work it all through. Each day it's easier until finally it is no effort at all.

Just a word of encouragement.

[–]lodro points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Well...there's something to this, but I have to seriously question your priorities here:

The key is to pretend. Just try it, and see the results. Talk positively about everything, every fucking thing, even if it makes you cry from inside. Mother died? Feel any emotion you want to feel but show to others that you are thankful, she must be in suffering and death have freed her of it. Hamster to the next level. Show others that you can't think negative.(Death of mother is just to illustrate an example, hopefully you won't start arguing about it)

Yeah, you preempted this with the "hope you won't argue this example" bit but it's too perfect as a transition into the main objection to this advice: what you lose by following it.

You lose something by being a fake.

Pretending to be "alpha" isn't a good strategy. Yeah, there's a place for "fake it til you make it". That place is limited, and it often gets turned into "fake it til you feel like you're good enough," which curiously never seems to happen.

This is the classic "just be yourself" vs some form of strategic posturing problem.

In my view it's far more effective to focus on your own experience and managing your own emotions, reactions, etc than it is to focus on impression management. You shouldn't make a habit of faking your emotions for other people - to whatever extent you do this, you are that much a fake person. It doesn't work; it's stressful for most people and highly demanding for sociopaths.

For both types there's a better way, which is to actually become a better person. Instead of managing impressions, manage yourself. Manage your reactions, your emotions, your habitual thought patterns, so as to build yourself into a stronger man who has more to offer.

Faking emotions has a small role in that process, which you outlined well above. It shouldn't be overly emphasized.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]lodro points points [recovered] | Copy Link

I think OP's message would be better revised and improved on.

[–]lanky321 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Whether you like it or not, managing impression is a requirement in the world - in the corporate world and business and in social life. One would have to be silly to not understand this.

This does not imply that one should ever stop improving. What OP is saying may not be a comprehensive advice on how one should lead one's life, it may not have all bases covered, it is still good advice.

[–]2comment5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

OP's advice will work in the situation it's designed for: a social one. At a bar, club, etc. When you're interacting with strangers, acquaintances, etc, who want to have a good time. Not at a funeral. Although I'd probably rephrase it as "Be passionate." Not just happy. But it's a decent first step.

Fake it till you make it is a counter to oft meaningless "just be yourself". The thinking essentially is, if just being yourself hasn't worked this entire time, it's not going to magically work in the future.

The key to faking it though, is if you really eventually want to be that type of person. In that sense, you're not faking the emotions or being a fake person, just emulating the confidence successful people had, till you attain results. I.e. if you really want to be the type of person that goes to a ton of parties but feel shy, cast off the shyness with some routine to fake it till you literally make it. Conversely, if you hate parties but just want some specific results (bang that one girl), faking it will probably get you questionable results because your heart ain't gonna be in it long haul.

[–]automatepmp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am generally that positive person that OP is talking about and people gravitate towards me because of it. This has led to one or two hot girls initiating conversations with me via text or instant message, and it is then that I find they want to complain about everyone else. This means I agree with your assertion that it works best in social groups, but maybe not one on one.

[–]p3n1x1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its possible they read your 'happiness' as a "nice guy" vibe. Not what you want.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

New to this place. But in my past two weeks this is something I have been struggling with immensely! All of this information is pretty overwhelming, topped off with the fact that im realizing that everything ive grown up "knowing" to be true was a fucking lie--actively implementing red pill ideology in my day to day life at this point has been an experience in being fake. I am not who I have always been when I am implementing this knowledge in my day to day interactions. The alpha mentality is not naturally occuring to me. So is the red pill a fake mentality that will never actually be achieved by a non-natural alpha? Will I always be putting on a show?

[–]lodro points points [recovered] | Copy Link

It depends on what you do, what result you get. If you make a habit of faking emotions and so on then you'll end up with a bunch of habits of faking emotions and so on. That's what a lot of guys here seem to be doing, though I don't believe most of them realize that.

You need to keep your critical thinking skills engaged with a subject like this. Don't accept something as truth until you've seen it with your own eyes and examined it thoroughly. The idea of "alpha" and "beta" males itself is both highly varied - it exists in several mutually exclusive variants - and highly questionable. If it is useful, use it. If some variant of it appears true to you, test it and see.

The most solid TRP ideas are those that explain women's behavior in relationships and hookups; they're also the most controversial ideas to a mainstream audience, and the ideas that most contradict typical societal programming that guys struggle to rewrite.

In the beginning, in my view the most important thing is basic masculine self-improvement:

  • Lifting / cardio / physical rehab in general (e.g. posture)
  • Meditation
  • Fuck a ton of women or die trying

You need all three. The women don't have to be anything special, but you have to bang them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think I see what you are talking about. I am a fit good looking man...mountain biking is my main hobby but just started adding in convict conditioning for strength training. (Single dad of a 3 yo--bringing him to a gym daycare after his regular daycare just seems real selfish, so gym membership is out of the question). But I have noticed my body posture has always been lacking. It does not feel natural yet, but over time it will.

Meditation is something I just started implementing--actually just wrote a first joirnal entry last night. If anyone hasn't tried that...man it actually frees up your thoughts and takes a huge weight off the shoulders!

As far as banging women--that is where it feels fake. Fat/ugly chicks just don't make my underpants tight. So I will continue to try for the hotties. That being said, what you are saying is in the beginning putting on that show would be the means to fucking these girls...untill I have injected enough abortion material to actually have real confidence (not ego--TRP showed me ive had waaay too much of that) to be able to get ass without said show?

[–]lodro points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Sort of. You really don't want to fake more than you have to - it should be a crutch that you use when necessary.

For example:

You're going to a party to get laid where there will be a lot of young women you don't know. You know you're going to feel very nervous when you go up to talk to them at first. You should hide that nervousness at first with the aim of relaxing and letting go.

If you spent the whole night feeling nervous but suppressing it that wouldn't be very helpful - your goal has to be better than being a good fake. The goal is to be yourself and have yourself be a great guy, and along the way you will, as is a perfectly normal and natural human behavior, make yourself do things that don't feel right because they're new. And in that you'll be grinding through and at times masking some unhelpful emotions.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Got it. Thank you sir. Very helpfull. Now on to an internet free week or so. Time to push myself outside of my mind and some interwebs forum.

[–]Kolbykilla0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its "fake" cause you don't really believe it yet, and you probably don't "believe" it yet because you don't have real world experiences to reference this information too. But don't take this as a bad thing, take this as something very good. You have an edge on people, you can correct mistakes before they happen, and not let yourself get into situations that would not end well unlike someone like me who had to fuck up along the way to see the mistakes I've made (which is also good).

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Think as you like, but behave like others. LOP.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

except you're thinking as others would like you to, and behaving that way as well.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There is a degree of self deception involved in real deception. But in your heart of hearts, you can't ignore how you really feel.

It's like when you make friends with a ham planet at work. You tell yourself some redeemable things about her so that you don't laugh in her face and get fired. Still honoring the laws of power, not deceiving yourself.

OPs post is just poorly written.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

not gonna lie when you said ham planet, i started thinking of a like a building sized slab of ham. then i realized you were talking about a fat woman and thus a dream of mine was both born and shattered in a span of mere seconds.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

hi, billy mays here with amazing new product!

all jokes aside, this shit really does work. i notice it in myself when i'm actually having an excellent day and am happier than usual, people react different and want to be around you.

[–]xXSoroxXx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely true. My resting face is one of "I couldn't care less and don't take to me stupid" it took some time to realize this. Now that I usually have a slight smirk on me at all times it DEFINITELY changes things.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In my opinion, you can still act happy but acknowledge negative things. You don't always have to spin everything into rainbows and unicorns. People are going to start to resent you if you do that.

Part of being a human being is connecting with people on an emotional level and sometimes those emotions can be negative. For example, if someone just got robbed on the street sometimes you just have to listen to them complain and relate to that. They're going to get pissed off at you if right away you're like "oh it's just a little bit of money, it's not big deal" because it probably is to them. That's not the best example but you get my point.

[–]NibblyPig5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. I think women are attracted to guys who are motivated and have a mission. Guys that move with a sense of purpose and determination, who are not easily distracted by women, and in fact barely notice them unless they prove they are worth noticing.

While the two aren't mutually exclusive, I think being overly happy is neither a positive or negative trait in and of itself. However it can come across that you do not have mission if you are relaxed and happy.

Also faking anything is beta behaviour.

[–]atifhere[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can be motivated and have a mission, without looking like a sad loser.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Think as you like, do as the others.

I hate it, but you absolutely DO get a leg up on life if you pretend to enjoy sucking life's dick as much as the rest of the mindless hivebees. Thats why when you make something of yourself, a lot of people are gonna be haters trying to drag you down back to their level.

As a matter of fact, a lot of successfull people are only talented at finding out what this common culture is and then mirroring it. It gets them all the social mojo they need to run entire companies. This is especially true in public service, the heads of departments are some of the worst human filth ever imaginable. But they are loved at their place of work, because they are bossing over other human filth.

[–]mohittzomar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This explains a lot of the social media behavior of people. People are practicing this with out realizing what they are doing.

[–]SquireDalbridge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This reminds me of what Victor Frankl had to say about any stimuli there is a a gap where we can control our reaction to the external world

[–]bishopindict0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

OP: Amy Cuddy - Look her up if you want to know why this works.

[–]martin-eden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ask yourself which one of the following personalities would make impression on yourself; someone who's always complaining and feeling down as fuck or someone who's happy, uplifting and doesn't give a fuck what's happening around him.

I've been this happy, awesome person just like OP explained and especially when I meet new people or in social circles. People appreciate that and they are so happy when they see you next time because they see too many sad motherfuckers everyday..

[–]nyxlucis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a good point but i suggest you to find a way to have that feeling naturally instead of faking it. For me "7 habits of highly effective people" did the trick, changing my mindset for good. It's a lecture i recommend to everyone on the path to self improvement.

[–]vism8100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There was a graffiti in my city, it said "You want to be happy? Then be happy!".

[–]RPFlame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone has to make a distinction between "looking content, that life is good and you're enjoying it" and "be the clown guy".

A lot of betas (and I suppose me a year ago) would misinterpret the message due to their innate black and white thinking, kinda like when you're telling someone to be an asshole and he imagines the most extreme example.

[–]reallovenomore0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me what you wrote comes near to what worked best for me but after all you shouldn't only pretend to be happy you can maybe do so at the beginning but you should develop an undepending happiness through meditation, affirmations and things like that a great help for me was the youtube channel: endless waters diving deep if you only pretend to be happy all the time it will backfire someday

[–]AttackOnKvothe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So, fake it 'till you make it?

[–]imbeciI0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A while ago I read on this very subreddit:

Fake it till you make it

I'll look for the link to that post.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm stuck in a bit of a cynical, angry/sad mindset right now. How do you even go about faking this?

[–]evilkenevil0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP is right. At the very least it can serve to diffuse people. I had some very messed up shit occur around me very early on in 2016 and support from others quickly turned to non-stop questioning of "what will you do?" "How are you, you don't look well..." "why would you etc." Out of nowhere I adopted an outward attitude of pure bliss. Some serious outward happy go lucky appearance.

It worked. It's been a year almost and I feel I'm just now able to start coping with the events but the god damn questioning stopped ages ago. Nobody fucks with a happy man. And as a side benefit, a happy guy that seemingly appears to not give 2 fucks about anything really gets some SOLID positive attention from females which I was not going for or expecting but none the less enjoyed to the maximum. A cheery dude in the face of adversity goes a long way.

Edit: don't confuse this happy veneer as a method of stuffing emotion. It's really just a suit of armor. It doesn't help you with your problem other than to deal with the "well wishers" around you. Men don't get to break down in our society. Nobody wants to see it. Deal with it for sure but do it privately..

[–]twoheadedratboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

pretending you are not dependant on the external world

I'd say that this is the core concept behind frame. Works awesomely well for me until my frame breaks and I can't fake it anymore

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. This is something I learnt for myself and saw great results. People hate negativity. There are people who talk constantly about things that they don't like and why they don't like them. Like if the topic of Asian food comes up, that type of person will say how they don't like soy sauce. Those people are not popular and never will be. Seriously, look around you and you will never see a popular person who talks about things they don't like. Always find a way to twist everything into something positive. If you don't like soy sauce, shut the fuck up about it and talk about how you like lemon chicken. If there's nothing you like then you're a boring motherfucker and there's nothing to like about you.

[–]NihilistMonkey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It really can become real though. I'm still a cynical nihilist, but I'm a happy one. Am I happy because I tricked my brain into becoming this person, or am I happy because of the social value that was added to my life when I "became" happy externally? Don't know don't care, you're 100% right that it works.

[–]curtainthrower0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you've got to really "pretend" to be happy; a better way to say it IMO is to see things more positively.

This goes along with the whole IDGAF attitude that is often talked about on here. You just need to not let stuff get in your way when it doesn't go right, because shit happens and life goes on. It's a waste of time to get upset about something when you can put your energy towards fixing it or learning from your mistakes.

Being positive doesn't just go for regarding past events. It's important to look highly on what you're dealing with currently. What I've found to be easier than "acting happy" is to just expect the best from others, then you will interact with them as if you're interacting with that happy person, and they will enjoy your company.

If you're good at putting on the act, then sure, you can pretend to be happy. But make sure you will actually be helping yourself in the end. Even if you make others happier, you don't want to carry it to the point that you're living a lie. Make yourself happy by making others happy, and everyone wins.

[–]bigcitytruth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A simple concept that works wonders.

[–]20yroldentrepreneur0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the really gold book in reading, "how to talk to anyone" it mentions a study that finds that smiling, no matter how fake it is, positively affects your mood. The next time you see someone, imagine/pretend like its your long lost best friend who disappeared for 10 years but you and him/her are being reunited. Your body language and attitude will shift tremendously, even if its forced. To that person, you will appear to be a glowing ray of sunshine washing over their soul. Then just wait as the pretending and faking unconsciously shifts into your natural state.

[–]gsharm points points [recovered] | Copy Link

It's better to work through your suffering than pretend it's not there.

[–]atifhere[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Didn't said or implied such thing

[–]highenergysanders0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Op was pretty clear that the public appearance of happiness is what's important. He never said to bottle up and internalize your issues, but it's common sense that if you project them onto other people you're going to alienate them.

Bottom line: If you act like a sad sack and mope all the time no girl going to want to be around you.

[–]Purecorrupt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Look at this team. We're gonna do Great!"

Instantly making me better at video games even.

[–]Pewdielockz0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

One advantage of pretending to be happy over being actually happy is that by pretending you are not dependant on the external world. Shit happens all the time, but it won't be effecting your simulacra since its not real at the first place. If you rely on actual happiness, then you will break the moment the shit happens and a negative thought appears in your mind.

Come on. TRP preaches abundance mentality and stoicism, which tells you to find your true purpose for life, so you can be happy without influence from factors out of your control.

Trying to be/look happy at any time may work sometimes, but honestly, when a family member dies, I'm surely won't go to a bar like "yeah let's pretend it's fully okay, that's the way I get a bitch tonight". That's pathetic.

[–]atifhere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was just to illustrate an example. I am not telling you to be slave of others and act happy for them all the time. It is when you want to appear more sociable.

You have some wrong concept about stoicism, I guess. It is not about remaining happy, its about being ok with everything, even sadness.

[–]1SeemedGood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

TRP preaches abundance mentality and stoicism, which tells you to find your true purpose for life, so you can be happy

Note that maintaining stoicism and being happy are oxymoronic when conjoined.

[–]randarrow-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, uh, no....

You want to fit in, you have to match the emotions of the people around you. This is something people in the service industry learn. Faking happiness comes across as fake. Faking happiness when the people around you are unhappy comes across as autistic or insane. Like one of those weird missionaries you cant't get rid of....

Yes, you should fake it until you make it. But, never greet a mugger with a smile.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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