Summary: Be persistent but don't be overly (emotionally) invested. Put your ego aside and be persistent especially in the first interactions and until you fuck the girl first time. After that it comes more of an investment management thing and preferably you shouldn't need to "manage your investment level" consciously but you should be working on yourself and a mission that proper investment level comes naturally.

Body: This post has a bit of a PUA vibe but I think it's important to distinguish investment and persistence at initial interactions from each other. Also this was really good reminder for me personally that we all have our weak moments and you don't necessarily see them coming.

At the last weekend I got two reminders how women test if the guy is actually interested and the latter interaction made me self reflect a bit. Swallowing the pill is a rollercoaster and sometimes you fall back to your old habits.

So I had an interaction with a girl which went great. All the good signs were there. Her friend joined us and she liked me as well. We went to dance floor, danced couple of songs and suddenly she went cold and said "We gonna go for drinks". She basically got me there, she offered a nice sample of herself which drugged me and then took it all away (I'd say "emotional push/pull" which landed hard when my guard was down). She got me invested emotionally at that moment. I was drunk and getting sloppy so I wasn't able to think properly so my subconsciousness took over and hamstered quickly to protect my ego but also started bringing up insecurities and started telling me conflicting things like:

  • She wasn't interested after all
  • Just move on, you don't chase girls, they chase you because you are the prize.
  • Bitch is doing a power move, I'm not gonna jump through hoops.
  • I'm gonna teach her a lesson and not follow. I'm a high value man, she should have asked me to come with her.
  • Oh, she didn't consider me as a Chad, no she goes to find another dick.

So what did I do? As emotionally invested I decided not to follow because rationalizing above (this is where TRP fucks you up sometimes. It could have been better to do BPilled move and let emotional investment lead and make me follow her without showing it too overtly). I was disappointed and wanted to teach her a lesson by not following (another doomed fantasy...that you could actually teach a hot girl a lesson in cold approach situation...). Then I did what I always do when rejected. Went to talk to the next girl. While talking to another girl for 15mins I felt that someone took my hand and dragged me aside. It was the girls friend who asked me with annoyed tone of voice "What are you doing? My friend really likes you." and then she explained the situation how her friend considers me as "a perfect ten" and how stupidly her friend tests if the guy is actually interested - "womans logic". Basically I failed her shit/comfort test miserably...because I was emotionally invested. If I wasn't I could have been emotionally detached and just persistent, following the process and doing what I need to do to get results - be chill and follow them to bar counter.

Even though "I know these things" it still surprising when they manifest themselves in front of you overtly via woman-man-woman translator. There is plenty of covert information going on but this overt - rarely.

Anyway all went good thanks to her friend who basically dragged me back to her so as a bonus lesson: Befriend the friend.

Conclusion: You must be persistent (and consistent) to get results. Lifting once again is the obvious example here but it also applies to women. Put your ego aside, detach yourself emotionally but be persistent especially in the initial interactions with a new girl. "Controlling" investment becomes more significant factor once you have fucked the girl and some sort of relationship starts building.

  • It may be hard especially for the beginner to acknowledge that you are a prize, assuming you have done the work required to be a one. When you don't acknowledge that, hamster wheel spins and you start to think bullshit like "well maybe I'm not good enough for her".
  • Girls are insecure too. There are hot girls who consider you as their personal ten and will do stupid shit like leaving you coldly for drinks to see if you are actually interested (because she can't believe it).
  • As someone had good post about "Stop reading TRP", I totally agree with it (come back couple times a year to read quality content and/or contribute). I get thoughts of insecurity like mentioned above whenever I've spent too much time on this forum. It fucks up your mind and you start to go blackpilled and bitter. Also if you comment here, there is always someone telling you how BP spergster you are without even knowing you. That will affect you on subconscious level like it or not.
  • Insecurity fucks up your results. Be confident and kill the insecure thoughts. You can cry with your insecuritys alone a home but don't pity yourself in the middle of night club while trying to achieve something.