~ archived since 2018 ~

Investment vs Persistence

January 14, 2020

Summary: Be persistent but don't be overly (emotionally) invested. Put your ego aside and be persistent especially in the first interactions and until you fuck the girl first time. After that it comes more of an investment management thing and preferably you shouldn't need to "manage your investment level" consciously but you should be working on yourself and a mission that proper investment level comes naturally.

Body: This post has a bit of a PUA vibe but I think it's important to distinguish investment and persistence at initial interactions from each other. Also this was really good reminder for me personally that we all have our weak moments and you don't necessarily see them coming.

At the last weekend I got two reminders how women test if the guy is actually interested and the latter interaction made me self reflect a bit. Swallowing the pill is a rollercoaster and sometimes you fall back to your old habits.

So I had an interaction with a girl which went great. All the good signs were there. Her friend joined us and she liked me as well. We went to dance floor, danced couple of songs and suddenly she went cold and said "We gonna go for drinks". She basically got me there, she offered a nice sample of herself which drugged me and then took it all away (I'd say "emotional push/pull" which landed hard when my guard was down). She got me invested emotionally at that moment. I was drunk and getting sloppy so I wasn't able to think properly so my subconsciousness took over and hamstered quickly to protect my ego but also started bringing up insecurities and started telling me conflicting things like:

  • She wasn't interested after all
  • Just move on, you don't chase girls, they chase you because you are the prize.
  • Bitch is doing a power move, I'm not gonna jump through hoops.
  • I'm gonna teach her a lesson and not follow. I'm a high value man, she should have asked me to come with her.
  • Oh, she didn't consider me as a Chad, no she goes to find another dick.

So what did I do? As emotionally invested I decided not to follow because rationalizing above (this is where TRP fucks you up sometimes. It could have been better to do BPilled move and let emotional investment lead and make me follow her without showing it too overtly). I was disappointed and wanted to teach her a lesson by not following (another doomed fantasy...that you could actually teach a hot girl a lesson in cold approach situation...). Then I did what I always do when rejected. Went to talk to the next girl. While talking to another girl for 15mins I felt that someone took my hand and dragged me aside. It was the girls friend who asked me with annoyed tone of voice "What are you doing? My friend really likes you." and then she explained the situation how her friend considers me as "a perfect ten" and how stupidly her friend tests if the guy is actually interested - "womans logic". Basically I failed her shit/comfort test miserably...because I was emotionally invested. If I wasn't I could have been emotionally detached and just persistent, following the process and doing what I need to do to get results - be chill and follow them to bar counter.

Even though "I know these things" it still surprising when they manifest themselves in front of you overtly via woman-man-woman translator. There is plenty of covert information going on but this overt - rarely.

Anyway all went good thanks to her friend who basically dragged me back to her so as a bonus lesson: Befriend the friend.

Conclusion: You must be persistent (and consistent) to get results. Lifting once again is the obvious example here but it also applies to women. Put your ego aside, detach yourself emotionally but be persistent especially in the initial interactions with a new girl. "Controlling" investment becomes more significant factor once you have fucked the girl and some sort of relationship starts building.

  • It may be hard especially for the beginner to acknowledge that you are a prize, assuming you have done the work required to be a one. When you don't acknowledge that, hamster wheel spins and you start to think bullshit like "well maybe I'm not good enough for her".
  • Girls are insecure too. There are hot girls who consider you as their personal ten and will do stupid shit like leaving you coldly for drinks to see if you are actually interested (because she can't believe it).
  • As someone had good post about "Stop reading TRP", I totally agree with it (come back couple times a year to read quality content and/or contribute). I get thoughts of insecurity like mentioned above whenever I've spent too much time on this forum. It fucks up your mind and you start to go blackpilled and bitter. Also if you comment here, there is always someone telling you how BP spergster you are without even knowing you. That will affect you on subconscious level like it or not.
  • Insecurity fucks up your results. Be confident and kill the insecure thoughts. You can cry with your insecuritys alone a home but don't pity yourself in the middle of night club while trying to achieve something.

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Post Information
Title Investment vs Persistence
Author Zech4riah
Upvotes 3
Comments 9
Date January 14, 2020 10:40 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/investment-vs-persistence.310832
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/eojnid/investment_vs_persistence/

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Man. Ok, to be honest, what I see is a level of low self esteem and fear of abandonment.

Something happened in your interaction which has made you think 'omg, I could have lost the girl'. You're then projecting that onto RedPill.

'Red Pill made me think this and that. Red Pill made me do that and this'. 'If I had just chased her, I wouldn't have to feel the anxiety over possible missing out'.

Really, you had a chance of losing the girl. That's triggered something you.

You're now thinking that by not pursuing her and talking to another girl, you messed up and 'almost missed out'.

The ironic thing is, you actually did exactly what you should have done. It was a shit test. You should NOT have followed her like a puppy dog.

She may have been 'testing your interest'. But you follow and display your interest...boom...you lose. She knows you're interested, she has your validation and there is nothing for HER to chase.

She fucked around by announcing she was going for drinks. You didn't buy into it, displayed INDIFFERENCE GAME and low level dread, and breezed into talking to another girl.

What happens? The friend comes begging for you to come back. The main girl sees you're willing to walk away and...boom...you close.

I don't think RedPill fucked you up at all. If anything, it completely worked.

[–]Zech4riah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Like I said, we all have our weak moments and this was it for me. Everything you say is true and I'm admitting it openly. I got triggered in multiple ways which was a good reminder for me that no one walks around 100% of the time 100% confident or even half confident.

This incident ended well for me but there was so much luck involved that it ended well. There was a high chance that they wouldn't had find me etc. You shouldn't leave things to a chance. Work and follow the process, emotionally detached.

You didn't buy into it, displayed INDIFFERENCE GAME and low level dread, and breezed into talking to another girl.

Yup, in that state of mind I actually had to play games. I wasn't mentally where I should have been.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What you did worked, though. There is no guarantee that following her would have been successful.

I am trying to make sure you don't discredit what you did as a highly effective strategy, and one to definitely use in future.

I also agree that we never walk around 100% confident all the time. Our 'stuff' is always there. It's a question of how much, at any given time.

[–]Zech4riah0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Actually you made me realize there is barely any value in this post. Gonna take it down, thanks for the feedback

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It would be better analysing or reporting what DID work.

It looks as though you're overthinking. You did what you should have done, it got results and worked.

For some reason you're viewing what you did as actually 'wrong', and convincing yourself you should have done something different.

It's for you to uncover why you're thinking the way you are.

You're also 'listening to what they say', instead of watching what they do. The friend and the girl are saying 'we wanted you to prove your interest. Why didn't you follow us'?

What they DID was actively chase you, and get anxiety that you would easily give up on them.

[–]Zech4riah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, let's see if I put another one more throughoutly thought version.

I just that this keeps happening to me when I walk away. There is plenty of times when I hear when the girl was disappointed because she thought I'm not interested etc (I hear this afterwards from my friends, her friends if I bumb to them again etc.). This was just the most obvious case. In other words, I feel like I'm keep missing opportunities because my bar for walking away is so low.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, ok...well if that's the feedback you're getting then you could write that.

I think field report style stuff works best in a 'I did X, and got Y results'.

This one read as 'I did X (walked away) , and got Y (she chased) result...so you should do Z (follow her before first)'.

If you are actually getting more 'I did X (walked away), and got Y (get told the girl is disappointed and don't get her)...so actually do Z (pursue her a little more)'...then write that.

The way it was written didn't explain the more common occurrence of them telling you they're disappointed. It came off contradictory.

If all of that make sense? The post has a lot of value, just the way it was written made it seem contradictory.

The post on the side bar 'How to get laid like a Warlord' reminds me of what you're talking about.

[–]sjswander940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hit the nail on the head here.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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