This is something I've really noticed a lot more as I've gotten older. Whenever it comes to making the decision to improve your life, no matter who you are or what your situation is, things will always get worse before they get better.
People try to pretend that "once you've hit rock-bottom, there's no where to go but up", but the older I get, the more I realize what a terrible fucking analogy that is.
See, right now? You're in denial about something. We all are. There is something in each one of our lives that could absolutely be better, but we've decided to live with it. That's human nature, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that.
The problem is when you've mentally normalized a shitty situation or lifestyle. For me, I went through a period of being a mid-20's, overweight, virgin loser, and brother I felt like an overweight, virgin loser. "But", I secretly thought to myself, "I just need a opportunity to shine".
I was fortunate enough to get that opportunity. I relocated to a place I'd never been, completely away from any family, largely without any kind of a "safety net" other than a friend and his wife letting me crash at their place.
And you know what? It got way worse before it got better.
Suddenly, I wasn't able to live in denial; I was confronted with the harsh reality that I had a ton of issues. I had a shit resume, I didn't have any employable skills, I didn't know how to manage money, I really didn't even know how to "be an adult".
And it only got worse from there; I took on debt, credit card and car payments, had jobs I fucking despised. There was a period I thought about killing myself regularly. I mean literally every day after work, I would come home and shut myself in my tiny little room, and just try to go to sleep because I didn't want to deal with the misery of my shitty life.
But it got better.
A lot better.
When I acknowledged just how bad with money I was, I started learning how to budget. I even paid to take a course. When I had too many bills and a job I dreaded going into every day? I started looking for alternatives, eventually leading to another job with a better life and huge pay increase. When I decided I had enough of living in my tiny, shitty room, I did what I had to until I could get my own place.
I'm 32, and it is no stretch to say I spent most of my life dealing with crippling depression and anxiety. Not to mention, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Oh, and I didn't even go to school growing up, so my social skills were non-existent.
Now though? I'd actually say I'm a pretty decent guy. To my constant surprise, I actually don't think about suicide anymore. I'm not just happy with my life, I'm happy with myself. Maybe not completely happy; I still need to lose weight, and I'm thinking about getting braces (which hey, we all know is super fucking weird for an adult man).
I have a lot to be grateful for in my life now, and it was not easy getting here. It got so, so much harder, before it got better. But that's where most people give up; it's not that they never try, it's that they start, but then decide it's easier to stick with what's comfortable, rather than push for what will make them happy.
And maybe this will be lost on a lot of you anyways; good advice is sitting everywhere you turn on this subreddit, but you have to mentally be in a place to accept that information.
But just know that, as difficult as things get, and as hopeless as stuff seems sometimes, it does get better. Even when it feels like you're just spinning your wheels, or nobody's got your back. As long as you know what kind of man you're trying to become, all you need to do is stay on your path, and you will get to where you're going.
You got this.
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