I am often asked if studying a martial art is hard. My answer is almost always yes. But not why you think. It takes a certain mindset to stay focused during training.  

But you have to develop it. No one is born with it. It can't be given to you. Getting to black belt is a long time. And even then few stick around to make 2nd Degree or higher. The percentages of those that make it to higher grades goes down. In real styles that honor the idea of higher grades there’s a “time served” aspect to it. It’s literally a process of time. I like to remark that no one know how to fight. we know how to survive, but fighting takes training.

Think about it this way.

You had a hard day at work. your morning was just fucked. Couldn’t find the awesome new suit you bought. Your socks somehow disappeared, and fuck you tripped over the dog. Not enough coffee, traffic made you late, that fucker in the Toyota can just go suck dick.

Then you walk in your boss is on your ass about being late, Julie from accounting is pissed because you yet again forgot to sign your expense reports. Then suddenly someone else’s emergencies became your priority. Rapid deadlines and demands stacked up all day

Now fuck. You forgot your prepped meals. Your protein shakes. Jesus fuck can it get any worse? you’re starving, now your girl is up and texting you about bullshit. Why the fuck can’t she figure out where the damn cat food is. Didn’t she even look? The TV remote? how the fuck should you know?

Finally the day is nearly over. On the way home you realize it’s gym day. The lawn has to be mowed, there was that window replacement you have to do, the fucking washer is acting up and god knows what else she found while she laid around the house on her day off.

Fuck. That. But you also have to stop by the store. God damn it. You know what? Fuck it. Get home, order pizza, sit and watch TV. Today was hard and you’ve made goal weight, your muscles are still smoking from the last session. Doubtful you’ll make any progress today anyhow.

Do you see how the negative decisions start to compound your day? It all started with one. When we make decisions we often do not think of the short term results.  We think of gratification; what will make us feel better, get us to short term goals.  

A lot of things in life are life long pursuits. Small effort turn large and are only revealed with consistent work and effort. Just like the gym is not all about physical exercise. It is part mental discipline. This isn’t right vs wrong. This is discipline. The discipline to maintain even in the face of not wanting to.   We are our own worst enemy. We often rationalize the best possible outcome

I'm not ready. I need more energy. Just not the right time.

We are not going to be 100% in every situation we face Predators (human or not) maximize their strengths for your weaknesses. You are no different when it comes to yourself. Is it any surprise we binge or eat bad when we are at our lowest?

Facing these situations while dealing with adversity is part of the path. This is why going to the gym, organizing your time, and finding things other then women and sex is important and it’s often the first lesson

I was angry for a long time only I didn’t know it. anger and joy are exact opposites. It’s either one or the other...you can't have both. When one takes root, the other can't grow. Not only does anger kill the joy, but it becomes a state of mind you perceive everything bad as terrible. neutral as bad; good as neutral. You see that? there is no room for joy. Kind of like depression. You can't make good decisions. your perceptions are filtered through the lens of anger. The thing is…..

It's a choice. You choose to be angry. Angry at the past, angry at the present, and then about a perceived future. It’s become habit. Far too often we make decisions based on negative emotions. Fear, hate, shame, anger….

  • It takes a mature person to make the right judgments and apply wisdom to all situations.
  • It takes a strong person to hold onto their beliefs and be patient with all people.
  • A Weak person would allow others to decide their fate
  • A immature person to let the crowd decide their actions
  • A cruel person takes pleasure in others misery

The fact is everything we do is a decision. We just rationalize it as outside influence. There's a difference from being angry and feeling anger. To be angry you allow the emotional state take over, cloud judgement, and be the foremost thing in your mind.

To feel anger is an acknowledgment of the situation. A realization that you cannot control everything, that the physiological responses are only that, but you can control how you act and behave. Being angry is a decision. Feeling anger is human.

Just living, life itself is a decision. Just make it.