By sucking the red pill I mean Ive been wanting to swallow it for many years, but society and such (I believe) has been preventing me. I thought I wasn't suppose to feel this way, act this way, treat others this way. I was taught not to be an alpha, I was taught to be submissive. So I resisted every urge to follow my true instincts. My true nature. Years of frustration and anger. Living life through grinding teeth.

So Ive been sucking the red pill for years. Resisting the urge to swallow. It wasn't until I stumbled across this subreddit a few weeks ago and I started reading it every night. Other peoples awakenings. It opened my eyes. It made me realise my impulses and urges weren't wrong. I made me realise that, after all these years, I wasn't wrong to feel this way.

Something I read last night on this subreddit whilst lying in bed really resonated with me. It finally did it for me. Sorry I cant remember who posted it, but I saved the paragraph and read it about 20 times today.

"The purpose of anger is to motivate change. A man who cannot get angry accepts that which should not be accepted, endures that which should not be endured. He allows his time, money, love, energy, and health to be burned for the benefit of others who show him no gratitude."

That's a total reflection of my life. Especially the last part. Bending over backwards for others, sticking my neck out for others. Striving for that small piece of 'potential' gratitude and recognition... which rarely comes. Work life, home life, sex life.

But I realise now it didn't have to be like this. And its not going to be like this any more.

This morning I woke up with a new mindset. I felt different. My wife didn't just give me the usual peck on the cheek goodbye. She actually came into the bathroom as I finished getting ready and gave my a big kiss and a hug. She never does that. So I bent her over the bathroom bench and fucked her right there and then.