Key points to hold your frame with girls and succeed.

May 18, 2018


So as most people here I've been experimenting a lot with Redpill knowledge on Tinder, at clubs, bars and so on. After many bad results mixed with a few good ones, I've come to the realization of what works most of the time and what doesn't. Thought I would share this with all you confused betas trying to transform yourselves to the unbreakable alpha male. Keep in mind that this is not for those who've already internalized everything in the sidebar as they most likely already understand these things.

Be different by being indifferent

The most important part when dealing with girls is to show that they can't shake you. This means that no matter what they throw at you, you need to stand your ground. This also includes controlling yourself and acting stoic when a smoking hot model shows interest in you. You basically have to act as if nothing is a big deal to you. This 10 is throwing herself at me? Huh, cool I guess, I'll take what I get. Oh she changed her mind? Alright that 8 over there looks interested. Most betas simply lose their mind as if they've won the lottery whenever an average looking girl shows interest in them. This brings me to my point of being different by being indifferent; when you can control yourself and act stoic by not going all billy beta on their ass and showering them with compliments, they get intrigued. "Oh this guy is so different, why isn't he giving me unlimited attention and complimenting me???" hamster hamster This shifts the power dynamic to you instead of her and makes you the prize. It simply displays confidence, mistery and unbreakable frame. Makes the pussy real wet.

Never show weakness

This one hurts for every man; when they realize they can't be honest with someone they think loves them and tell them how depressed they feel about being fired from work. Your LTR, plate or whatever the fuck you got cooking is NOT your mother or your homie. Most of the time she will NOT support you through ANY weakness you show. As a matter of fact, she will leave you for showing weakness. No matter how caring, different and loving she appears, trust me on this: she will not enjoy your display of weakness. Even if she doesn't leave you and actually pretends to support you, her pussy will start drying up. This is my biggest weakness as a matter of fact and the hardest one to come to terms with, but it is what it is. It's really simple actually, girls are emotional creatures and need someone who can control his emotions to lead them. When you show weakness you shatter the image of your leading capabilities and frame. It's like watching a boxer you once thought was unbeatable and the best get beaten to a pulp. You don't see them the same afterwards even if you still support them. In other words, you can only lose when you show weakness. To solve this problem, vent out your problems to a trusted friend or even a fucking therapist if you have to, but not the girl.

How to get into the habit of doing this

We all know how things work most of the time but it's much harder to actually do them right. You know you have to study to get good grades but it's much harder to do it than simply knowing how to do it. This is how to do it: Always have options. Always keep things in perspective. Always be mindful. Let's say you match with a 10 on Tinder and the conversation is going great so you think to yourself: "Whatever I already set up a date with this hot chick, no need to message any other girl for now." WRONG. You need options in order to keep things in perspective. If you are only messaging or talking to one girl, you will start believing she is the only girl out there or that you can't be interested in someone else. However, if you are setting up a date with this 10 while setting up a date with the 7 just a day later, it's much easier to not get bothered when she flakes or ghosts. Always create options, because it's harder to lose your mind over losing something you can easily get somewhere else.

When it comes to being mindful, it helps with everything in life. To be mindful is to look at things objectively. Let's compare being objectively mindful versus being emotional in a scenario: -You get approached at a club by a smoking hot busty blonde who's an easy 10. You dance a bit and make out, things are starting to get real hot. This might be an easy lay. All of a sudden, she leaves. You later see her making out with someone else and leaving with him early. What's an emotional take on it? "Holy fuck I missed my chance of fucking this amazing 10 and now another dude is going to enjoy fucking her. What did I do wrong? Why did she just leave all of a sudden when everything was going great?" This will throw you off your game. What about a mindful take on it? "Alright not bad I just danced and made out with a sexy 10, she seems to not want anything else to do with me right now though, I'll still take it. Let's look around and see if I can find a new girl to take home, im in the club after all." See that? Much cooler train of thought; calm, collected and in charge. Creating options, keeping things in perspective and being mindful. You sexy beast. When you make it a habit of forcing yourself to view things this way, no matter the situation, you become this person after a while naturally. This is because it's actually the right way to view things, emotion is not logical. There will always be a hotter sexier girl to fuck, it's no big deal. So next time you find yourself getting a bit too emotional, STOP for a couple of minutes and really start observing the situation and your feelings and keep them in perspective.


-Get girls' attention by being different from other guys and not letting them shake you up by their beauty or shit-tests.

-Don't share any weaknesses with girls, share them with close trusted friends if you have to.

-Stay mindful and keep things in perspective, nothing in this life is worth getting upset over. Nothing is as big of a deal as you think it is. Act like it.

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Post Information
Title Key points to hold your frame with girls and succeed.
Author unkg
Upvotes 863
Comments 90
Date May 18, 2018 1:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
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[–]AriesAsF329 points330 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

This to me seem like the core of Red Pill that so many on here miss. Redpill isn't about being a manipulative dickbag, its more than just about 'projecting strength and stability', its about actually LIVING it and not getting too hung up on things out of your control.

[–]trp_nofap_rewire201840 points41 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

RP was never about dark triad or that kind of crap. It just happens that some red pilled guys are by nature psycho/sociopaths. Red Pill is about opening your eyes to the truth, stepping out of the Matrix. Consequences of this is seeing reality for what it is when it comes to sexual strategy, politics, social dynamics etc

[–]AndyCandyHandySandy25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I also think the combination of sudden success (with possibly a spike in testosterone as well) makes a lot of guys a little manic and that’s where a lot of the sociopathic/narcissistic comments stem from. It’s just dudes soaring so high their feet lost contact with the ground lol. Maybe we should come up with a name for it.

[–]kurdishpower01 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Redpill at its core is truth. It could be politics/religion/philosophy/sexual strategy.

The red pill is truth

[–]Oreopk40 points41 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yup. Just finished reading The Rational Male. Its cool there's a supportive environment of other men who share this same ideology. Let's keep our brotherhood of men, take charge and take no shit.

[–]Rioc45 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I just bought that book after [long story omitted] getting into this again. I realized I need to improve my game again and hope The Rational Male will give a good theoretical overview

It's a tough process and I question a lot of it.... Don't show weakness to a girl? Don't allow yourself to fall in love? I just hope this all doesn't turn me into a sociopath.

But I really appreciate guides like this

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You do become a sociopath, but then you level out, realize how dumb you were before playing a game when you didn't even know the rules.

[–]lopsidedlucky15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This. You absolutely become sociopathic and once it starts it progresses. The more you experience the more women and betas prove TRP right and soon you start to see most people and the world differently. No one ever said the red pill was easy.

[–]Birdog7702 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

After reading that read The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar.

Oh yeah, and fuck your morals. Start becoming a selfish, sociopath and win at life.

Here's a practical exercise. Be a complete asshole for an entire day.

[–]__ROOSTER__17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

absolutely and this place used to be about the whole truth. Kind of went PUA the last couple years.

The red pill is truth, once you learn how you were lied to about women and relationships the next step is to go down the rabbit hole of lies, it never ends. Deprogramming your whole life of lies.

[–]Battleseeker143 points144 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

I really like your never show weakness portion and you boxer analogy really cemented my understanding. I’ve been married for 13 years and have made this mistake many times before finally coming to this realization. I used to be upset that I could not rely on her for emotional support the same we she could me and any break in my strong facade would set off weeks of bullshit.

I never expected any woman I was with previously to be involved with any of my issues and kept all that shit to myself when I was spreading the love around. I thought it was different when you found the one you wanted to marry, partners and all that. I finally came to the realization that that’s just not an expectation men can have of women and it ultimately will just cause loss of respect and weeks of rebuilding. Keep the feelings dumps to your close buddies.

Good post.

[–]Fearless_Oliver21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The boxer analogy is gold. It transcends just getting women’s attention. This is core to maintaining frame as a leader, role model, good father, etc.

Great line.

[–]SolarWizard8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's even better to do the opposite. If you are going through some shit and she asks you how you're coping, just smile and laugh and say you can handle it. That will give her tingles as it reaffirms that you are her rock and nothing can sway you.

[–]itzjuzme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im exactly the same, thanks for this valuable reminder. Sux that we cant rely on our SO for emotional support when it comes down to it

[–]relder258567 points68 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

One thing from my experience is: Getting angry is most often a violation of "never show weakness". Even in many blatant-disrespect situations, not saying a word and leaving/talking to other girls/etc is almost always the better move.

[–]unkg[S] 48 points49 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Getting angry is most definitely breaking frame and showing weakness. It means she managed to shake you and rile you up. When girls shit-test you they look for this, if you get angry, you lost. You will be seen as someone who can't control himself so how the hell will you be able to lead her and deal with her bs?

[–]Chaddeus_Rex15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes (if you've had an unshakable frame before) a display of white hot anger, a flash of it that quickly disappears to be replaced by serenity as if it never happened - is necessary. It will intrigue her because she thought you were always calm, stoic, unmovable but suddenly you show such strong emotion. She will try to poke that same button, but you will remain unphased. This is called keeping her off balance, it will fuck with her. Especially if you do it like once a year.

[–]unkg[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing is when you've already proven yourself you can start fucking around with her mind to keep her interested. But as you mentioned you have to know what you're doing because it can backfire and she WILL try to push you again so you need to be able to handle it right when she does. I don't recommend this to newbies which this post was aimed towards.

[–]donkey_democrat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Granted, that sounds like an "advanced" emotional tactic. Not losing your cool in general is good advice.

[–]ozenmacher1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That, right there, brother, is what turned me to the Redpill. I was such a BP beta my entire life. But I had success in becoming "friends" with women, and I had some qualities that made me a leader among our friend group, but I was still effectively a doormat. Finally, one day, one of my female "friends" was arguing with me about how I should conduct myself, and I totally lost it. I blew up and got visibly angry, raised me voice and told her off. She never talked to me again, and the rest of my female friend group distanced themselves from me. I was in anguish for 3 months and found TRP. I have never broken frame in such a way ever since. Never break composure, brothers.

[–]InsulinDaddy36 points37 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nice post.

Every time I went through a rough patch when I had a LTRs, they grew distant every time.

Even if they pretended to listen and care at first, they would be less eager to respond to texts or intimacy afterwards.

That is why you need close male friends, without them your relationship becomes a Catch-22 scenario with your mental health suffering either way.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s not so much not showing weakness as it is not being emotionally needy. If you cry because your dog dies a girl isn’t gonna be repulsed, often the opposite. But when you’re being emotionally needy and whiny girls hate that. As you said, that’s what guy friends are for.

[–]shameless_tease8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Even if they pretended to listen and care at first, they would be less eager to respond to texts or intimacy afterwards.

It's interesting you say this because allowing yourself to be vulnerable is actually the fastest way to intimacy. There have been studies by psychologists where two people (male and female) will ask each other a list of increasingly intense questions and by the end they all feel very close. The reason for this is due to the trust and resulting acceptance associated with the process. The fact that your ex couldn't handle hearing about real life shit means that she is just a bad person. Juggle your plates, but in your next LTR, don't feel afraid to connect with your girlfriend as a person. Acting distant may help you hold frame, but if you want a hot steamy fuck you gotta make some kind of deeper emotional connection.

[–]InsulinDaddy3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I was thinking about it too because Mark Manson also points out how emotional honesty and vulnerability make escalating wayyy easier because women love and live out their emotions.

I still think there is a huge difference between showing you are vulnerable and showing weakness outright, and I probably did the latter.

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This is some fuckin real shit. Was just at the club with some friends from work, this chick I'm into from work (not gonna lie pill is somewhat stuck in my throat) was there, tried to make a move but she pulled away. One of the guys from work asked me if I was pissed that she didnt go for it, motherfucker was right I was butthurt. I realised in that moment when he hit me up that it was all fucking stupid and stopped giving a fuck. Took off my jacket and showed off some gains in my new plain white tee (no shit) had two chicks approach me and start a conversation within 2 minutes of putting my jacket down - gymming fucking works apparently, ended up going home with another completely different girl and the chick from work was watching it all go down before I left.

Dodged a bullet I guess, don't shit where you eat and all that, but yeah shit works when you don't care about what women think lol.

[–]GoRedBad 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

best avoid rubbing her nose in it, ie don't mention other chicks in front of work girl, she might pull some vindictive jealousy BS.

[–]ThePlague48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Absolutely. I would also add that IF she now starts expressing interest, do not go that route. You already dodged a bullet, it would be contrary to your best interests if you walked down a hot firing range now. I would suggest something along the lines of "No, you were right, we should keep this professional".

[–]SKRedPill19 points20 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Stoic and subtle and doing communicates WAY more powerfully than any overt display. I mean say someone very close to you died, and you need to let them know you're grieving? Just say it and go silent. Your silence is way more powerful (it's earth shattering) than a drunken bawl. Leave it to the girl to fill in the silence and cry for you. The gestures of emotion in a man become much subtler than a child's, but in the process they also become way more powerful. It's amazing how you do more with less, but that's how a man's emotion works.

But yes, we're human and have our endurance limits. Therefore, the man cave is your best friend (and other men).

The strong emotions however, like passion can be shown normally. However even there, we have limits. That guy screaming "FUUUUUCCCK" for every rep in the gym is not impressive - after a set or 2 it gets really annoying.

And in this case, you needn't rub it in that chick's face. Simply seeing you walk away with two other girls does the damage. You don't have to do anything, don't even smile smug - at the most a passing glance at her existence.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

u. The gestures of emotion in a man become much subtler than a child's, but in the process they also become way more powerful.

God damn. This is deep. I never thought about it that way. When women say 'men don't allow themselves to feel', that's not true at all. Its just that mens (real men's not little crybaby faggots) emotions are very subtle and deep. In contrast, womans emotions are very superficial and transient. That is what has allowed men to draw vibrant and vivid paintings, write emotional poetry and deep books.

It reminds me of a moment in "The Fountainhead" where Roark (the main character) is approached by Toohey (the antagonist) who has been antagonizing him all novel, and asks "Mr. Roark, we're alone here. Why don't you tell me what you think of me? In any words you wish. No one will hear us." and Roark's response is precisely what you were talking about: "But I don't think of you."

[–]donkey_democrat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think of it like a women has, like you said, very superficial, raw emotions. A man might have an emotional aspect to his feelings, but he will mix in logical, and become disturbed at how the emotions may not follow the logic, or something like that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True that shit. Will never talk, even the boys at work were asking and I told em I dont kiss and tell. I'm lucky that I have those moments to show me that she aint shit, and she never will be, and that's fine. It's just some insecurity ego bullshit on my part to care about her in the first place.

In the great words of Jay Z on to the next one

[–]TheBigForklift24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think these are good points. One thing I’m working on is keeping my head up and thing of myself in a positive light vs freaking out every time a girl talks to someone else (I. E. In the club setting you described). It makes me feel badass and powerful, like I’m not gonna let stupid shit distract me from my goals.

You also mention venting to your homie instead of your plate/not showing weaknesses. I have a girl in a nearby city that I got with recently. She has some pretty severe anxiety and we were chilling on her roof the a week ago. Really nice view. She’s asking me about me and I ALMOST told her some pretty serious shit about me that I should have reserved for a homie. I said enough to “relate” to her, but I’m glad I didn’t give her the full load. This post confirms that I did at least some of it right although I might have been better off not saying anything at all. Either way she says she wants to see me again, so I must have done something right.

Anyway, thanks for the suggestions! Still learning over here but this is helpful

[–]nochilifordinner11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dont let this weakness bullshit fool you. As long as you show strength most of the time, girls dont mind if a man shows some vulnerability, as they can relate to that and bond. This is different from drama though.

[–]NormalAndy21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Meditation. Separate yourself from thoughts and feelings. Observe them from the perspective of the watcher.

I hate to be a dick but these days I would be more interested in the holding frame part than the 10! All the non- thrill of the chase.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Memorize the litany of fear from Dune, for the breakage of frame happens due to fear. When you feel fear and feel your frame cracking, repeat to yourself the following:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do this every time, it really works

[–]Chaddeus_Rex23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Frame was summarized in three words by Ernest Hemingway:

Grace under pressure.

[–]ScotsScots 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I like this, it reminds me of the word equanimity, calmness and composure in a difficult situation.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like this, it reminds me of the word equanimity, calmness and composure in a difficult situation.

That is correct. That is what frame is, equanimity, calmness and composure in difficult situations.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like this subreddit is going to open up a whole new world for me. For years, I have been confessing my every emotion to women. It hasn't worked. So I am going to try this new approach. Thanks, TRP.

[–]Saviitar17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Realized that when I was 16. The look of disgust from my mother when she saw me break down made me vow never to show weakness to anyone again. She had the (will you keep your shit together) look

[–]NormalAndy5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lucky you. Mine was the opposite. She used to break down into tears at the drop of a hat to try and get her own way. Dreadful really.

Took me a while to realise that there are better ways of acting than playing the victim.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're starting out holding frame, don't start by trying to reframe situations in your advantage: this will only lead to frustration, I can tell you from hard experience you will fail if you start with this.

Reframing a situation is way harder than just holding frame and remaining stoic. This post is absolute gold for anyone just starting out with frame. Once you master this, then try the more advanced techniques.

[–]pfresh3319 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One of the biggest things I do to keep my frame is just being extremely dismissive when she shit tests or says something I don't want to hear. Like yesterday girl told me she was getting pestered by a guy she was seeing before me so she answered and told him she was seeing someone else (me) and wanted him to stop contacting her. Barely even acknowledged it, think I said "ok" and changed the subject. Old me would've asked a million questions about the guy or why she even answered and gotten all jealous and emotional, instead just realized she was trying to get some kind of reaction out of me so I held my frame and changed the subject shortly after dismissing what I didn't care to hear.

[–]IAmSawyer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of girls have done that do me, and now it makes sense

[–]ajayhemant6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indifference makes all the difference. Again don't forget to give her lesser attention by 1% each time she gives you 1% more. Yes friends you can make her transform from intrigued to interested to desperate. But remember the fineness of 1% rule.

[–]rn78895 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Question regarding weakness.

How do you handle situations where you are exhausted from work and need to rest. She wants to be social. It would be weak to say you're simply too worn out to do anything.

How do you guys handle these situations?

[–]holyshocker8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I pass out on the couch and she slaps me in the face and wakes my weak ass up for falling asleep. Then I cry in her arms and she holds me while she tucks me into bed.

[–]SteveStJohn4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

After work, gym. Then, if still tired, bed. She wants attention? Fuck her. She doesn't want to be fucked? Go to bed.

I just don't talk when I'm tired. Holding frame is too important.

[–]donkey_democrat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It matters how you communicate it. Don't say it in a whiny manner, just flat out say you are tired and want to go to bed. Don't stretch it out "I'm reeealllly tired rn😢😢😢..." Just say it as normally and directly as possible.

[–]rn78891 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting you posted this response last night. I've been extremely direct with her lately after reading mrp content. Last night I just said very direct "let's go to bed" she responded. She gave me a bullshit kiss and I said "that's not good enough do better" and ended up making out and actually had sex. Literally results off the bat from reading this stuff.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do you ever get overwhelmed. This subreddit has made one clear point, confidence is key and insecurity will put you at the bottom but when 4 girls are eyeing you my confidence wavers slightly and I get overwhelmed. I’m sure this will improve overtime and I don’t freak out but still I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience.

[–]donkey_democrat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everyone experiences that. Try using psychological tricks. Tell yourself that you are simply getting sexually excited in their presence, and remind yourself that testosterone in men rises significantly in the presence of females, especially 4 of them. Because of that, you are actually now better able to attract them and keep your cool.

[–]SKRedPill8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Twist everything into your frame (and advantage). Be fluid, assume formlessness and learn to use sollipsism as a shit test crusher (but do not act effeminate, just play with it)

E.g. "All men are pigs" You : "But men and women are equal..."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indifference is the key to peace and happiness but my question is, knowing what we know, why are we playing the game. If women are shallow why do we enable them. This is why physical love is (often) fleeting because it's not based on true love and connection but based on superficiality. But anyway, good luck with all that.

[–]PrettyBelowAverage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Basically, if you stop basing your emotional response off of what you wish theirs was, and instead base it off of the fact that you got what you got and there's more to go get, you'll become much more satisfied and indifferent to what you used to view as negative situations.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link


LTR, girl judging number of previous partners and auditing social media. What's the response here? It's so difficult to not care and show indifference while being judged...

[–]unkg[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Downplay anything she says or complains about regarding you. Bring her into YOUR frame, not the other way around. Don't take her seriously, just as you would take a child with a grain of salt. Tease her about it. Say something along the lines of: "Jesus christ it's not my fault I'm so sexy, hell, you should know." Just don't make a big deal out of it and if she really has a problem or gives you a hard time, next/demote her.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The jealousy is always hard to overcome or retrain. I think downplaying and not getting fired up is the right approach. As a man, we are told we need to accept female's emotional outbursts or freakouts, and need to be submissive and obedient when they cannot control emotions. I categorically reject this notion, which always creates conflict.

[–]untonyto8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely. The other day I heard a pastor advising men to tolerate extremes of emotional misbehavior from their wives, upto and including disrespectful insults and violence, all in the name of letting her vent her emotions. Because we are supposed to be strong. I wanted to RKO the fool.

[–]Lambdal79 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Never showing weakness is for insecure beta males who are afraid their woman leaves them at the first chance, because they have nothing.

Showing weakness is reserved for alpha males who have their shit together and are so awesome that 1 little weakness is laughable and doesn't move their frame thr slightest.

There are several ways of showing weakness that turn her off.

  1. Being afraid of showing weakness and being ashamed about it
  2. Being whiney about it and complaining
  3. Not showing how your deal with your weakness or how you are overcoming it
  4. When she is your weakness
  5. Showing a huge weakness, I'm extremely afraid of public speaking and it cripples my ability to function in society

This is how showing weakness impresses her

  1. Not being afraid and ashamed of it and OWNING it. Yes, I have a weakness and it doesn't phase me in the slightest because my frame is that strong.
  2. Not complaining about it. Suffer in silence.
  3. Showing how you deal/dealt with your weakness and how it made you stronger
  4. Sexualize her as your weakness. Don't look at me like that or I'll have to ravage you.
  5. Showing a small weakness. Sometimes, I get nervous when I have to talk in front of people, but just last week I went to poetry slam and got a lot of applause. Next week, I'll do a comedy standup in front of 150 people.

A woman never sees you as an alpha until she hasn't seen a weakness and how you deal with being "found out". If it doesn't phase you and you own it, only then she will accept you as an alpha and be sure that you're not a fake alpha. Before that, she'll always remain suspicious and poke you to see how she can break your frame.

Let her break your tough guy frame and be amused about it, then she'll accept your alpha status.

[–]unkg[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you got me wrong partially because I didn't go much into detail about the weakness part. Of course you can have a weakness, show it and own it. But then it's not really much of a weakness. When I talk about weakness I'm talking about ranting, showing your weak side, complaining; as you would do to a close friend. Being a bit bitchey if you will. However, exposing weaknesses should always be kept to a minimum or she will lose respect for you. It's not about being insecure, it's about being smart. You can talk all day about how a real alpha will say whatever he wants and if she leaves, she leaves. But the reality is, if you do this every girl will leave you eventually. You have to do things right to win, even if you don't like it sometimes. I would love to be able to go Billy beta and express my love feelings but that won't get me where I want to be, so I refrain. You have to express your weaknesses as you would in a job interview, in another words: turn them around to your advantage. "Oh I'm a perfectionist I do my best in everything but if it doesn't work out perfectly I might be disappointed."

[–]Lambdal78 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It comes across very different the way you wrote it, especially in your boxers analogy.

If you need to try so hard to portray the perfect image to maintain attraction you're doing something wrong.

Women don't need a perfect man, they require 3 or 4 things and the rest doesn't matter.

  1. Fuck her well, dominate and lead her
  2. Be good looking and groomed
  3. Have a good career and be presentable for her to get social validation for being with you
  4. Give her strong emotions

If you can do that, you're already ahead of 98% of men and the rest doesn't matter. Don't give a fuck about your weaknesses. Yes, don't tell her everything, but don't be afraid or ashamed when it comes up and own it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good post! Thanks for writing this.

[–]Alpha_Jedi1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Simple and effectively on point. Great post. Cheers.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The weakness point is why we say, "treat women like children". Your not going to show weakness to your children or little siblings because they need to look up to you for support and that would make them feel like that your support is weak and could crumble. That's a really bad analogy but you get the point. It makes this pill much easier to swallow.

[–]jamsawamsa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post, especially the part where too many men focus on having that one plate's attention. Abundance mentality always

[–]ImpressiveDig0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amazing. This makes so much sense. Thanks man, some great advice in here that we can all use.

[–]ChortledSplooge0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Your LTR, plate or whatever the fuck you got cooking is NOT your mother or your homie. Most of the time she will NOT support you through ANY weakness you show. As a matter of fact, she will leave you for showing weakness. No matter how caring, different and loving she appears, trust me on this: she will not enjoy your display of weakness. Even if she doesn't leave you and actually pretends to support you, her pussy will start drying up. This is my biggest weakness as a matter of fact and the hardest one to come to terms with, but it is what it is. It's really simple actually, girls are emotional creatures and need someone who can control his emotions to lead them. When you show weakness you shatter the image of your leading capabilities and frame. It's like watching a boxer you once thought was unbeatable and the best get beaten to a pulp.

Trash advice for LTR. LTRs are rare in general and for good reason. If you can't show weakness to your LTR wyd in a LTR then lol go back to fuckin hos not committing to one girl you can't even be yourself with. That's just common sense.

[–]unkg[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can never show weakness my dude, learned it the hard way. She will lose an amount of respect for you every time. You can be yourself but don't share your problems with her in a whiny, "im weak" way. Trust me on this, it will backfire. This doesn't mean you can't tell her about anything bothering you but you have to be very careful about how you do it. You can't straight up go bitch-mode about it like you do with a friend or relative. If you don't believe me, go read other posts and read the sidebar again.

[–]Rakosnik2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

learnt this the hard way when she broke up with me after 5 years. was having the hardest time back then. quite a bottom for me. i expected her to support me yet she ditched me like a hot potato. i too thought i could trust her. well. now i know why it happened. she made me turn very beta and once she achieved it it was over.

[–]bookloverphile0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do yall ever expose or talk about your weaknesses to wifes or ltr’s?

[–]Hyper_Sonik-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The red pill has been poisened by newbie betas. That's the problem when you go mainstream. The amount of no lifer newbies showing up is scary. TRP has gone mainstream and all the "illiterates" have shown up. This is what I was warning you about. Do not cast pearls before swine. Now you can see the consequences.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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