(EDIT 2 [Feb. 29/15]: Yes, looks do matter, just not to the extent that a lot of guys think they do. Male looks don't matter to women the same way female looks matter to men. The title was hyperbolic. The point of this post is only that behavior matters more than looks. Behavior also matters more than wealth, social status, and physical fitness. A wise man looking to maximize his SMV will always do whatever he can to improve all of the above.)
TLDR: Women are hard-wired to be attracted to an alpha male's genetics. The number one thing you can do to signal alpha genes is displaying alpha behavior (having good game). While improving your looks, wealth, and fitness is worthwhile, it pales in comparison to improving your game. Deep down, women feel game is "manipulative" because you're only simulating the behavior of someone with alpha genetics, unlike naturals who (probably) really do have the genetics women want. But don't feel bad - game is no more manipulative than make-up, fake tits and hair extensions, so go right ahead.
I've noticed that when feminists criticize pick-up artists like Julien Blanc, you frequently hear the word "manipulation" being used to describe his tactics. Yet if you look at the hours of footage available of him conducting pick-ups, you'll find nothing especially devious or conniving. So why do they choose this word?
As everyone around here already knows, women are biologically hard-wired to respond to certain behaviors which indicate the presence of alpha genes... dominance, assertiveness, confidence, decisiveness. What successful pick-up artists show is that if you can demonstrate these traits you can very quickly turn women on and provoke attraction.
So why is this manipulation? Another thing we already know: women always tell men to "be themselves" because on an innate level women don't want to see men misrepresenting themselves. It's why toupees or shoe lifts will never be sexy, it's why women resent deliberate attempts at self-improvement, and even why they like a good physique but don't really like a guy who spends hours in the gym obsessed with his looks. They want you to just "naturally" be an alpha. And when you artificially demonstrate alpha traits you're falsely advertising your own genes.
Our SMVs are mostly the product of our genetics. We're all dealt different genetic hands, but just like in poker, there are ways that you can bluff. Women can bluff with hair, make-up, shape-wear, high heels, eye-catching clothing, plastic surgery, etc. And that's of course because men are primarily visually oriented with our attraction and look for outward signs of youth and beauty.
And of course men can bluff visually, too. Lifting weights is a great way because even if you weren't born strong or athletic, by developing your muscularity and reducing your body-fat you can appear stronger and faster than you really are. I've been lifting for 6 years now. While I've gotten consistently stronger throughout and I'm still hitting PRs to this day, my strength has always been below average. Nevertheless, people tend to assume I'm a lot more athletic than I really am simply because I'm obviously in good shape.
And of course there's dressing well, personal grooming, eating a healthy diet, etc. Plenty of ways a man can improve his looks. But it's important to remember that women aren't as visually oriented as men are, and for them looks are a largely secondary concern.
And of course, many cynical men would say women's primary concern is money, but that's totally false. Plenty of good-looking and rich beta males in the world who get treated like the providers they are and receive very little sex in return and wind up divorce-raped.
No, all these superficial qualities are secondary when it comes to generating attraction from women. It's BEHAVIOR that women's mating instincts are wired to be ultra-sensitive to. BEHAVIOR is the primary criterion by which she will (unconsciously, I might add) designate you an alpha fuck or a beta buck.
Nevertheless, women don't want you to LEARN to behave in an attractive manner. And why would they? Simulating the behavior of someone with alpha genetics is not the same thing as actually having alpha genetics.
Okay, you might ask: why behavior? Why is that the number one criterion? Why not looks? Well put yourself in the shoes of a primitive woman in a hunter-gatherer tribe. Hypothetically, you've two options here:
- Option 1: Looks like Chad. Tall, muscular, young, chiseled jawline, big cock, low-body fat, 10/10 appearance. Behaves like: emotional, sensitive, submissive runs from danger, doesn't like to hunt, doesn't like to fight with other men.
- Option 2: Looks like George from Seinfeld. Short, bald, older, out of shape, hairy, ugly. Behaves like: dominant, aggressive, loves to fight, loves to hunt, runs into danger.
Which one do YOU think women are more likely to fuck? Or a better question: if one woman goes for option 1 and one woman goes for option 2, which one do you think is going to survive long enough to successfully reproduce and raise successful offspring? (Hint: it ain't Chad.)
You can be a rich model but if you act like a pussy you'll get treated like one. That's why game is so critically important. Of all the ways you can improve yourself as a man, the number one most important avenue for self important is, always has been, and always will be, improving your interactions with women. Nothing will yield more fruitful results for your future as a male human being on planet Earth.
So you're in monk mode? You're MGTOW? Girls aren't your priority? Don't kid yourself. If you're a heterosexual male it is your biological imperative to survive and reproduce. Most men are obsessed with sex from the moment they hit puberty through the rest of their lives. I'm not saying you have to have kids, I'm not saying you have to sleep with a million women, nor am I saying you have to commit to one of them. But understand that, as a man, the number one thing you can do to control the circumstances of your life - besides food, shelter and safety - is to increase your sexual power with women; to have sex when you want, with whom you want, with women who want you. How you use that power is up to you, but don't try to pretend you're above it. Unless you're non-heterosexual or your sex drive is low due to illness or low testosterone, you can never transcend your desire for sex. It's so deeply ingrained in who you are as a living organism on this planet, never mind just a human being, it's such a critical part of your identity that attempting to suppress it entirely will lead to disastrous psychological consequences. Just look at how fucked up REAL monks, priests, nuns and other people who attempt to be celibate become.
Anyway, look. Karen Straughan put it this way. "If men use power to get sex, and women use power to get sex, which is the more power hungry?" TV's Dr. Frasier Crane (Cheers, Frasier) put it this way: "Women use sex to get what they want. Men can't use sex to get what we want because sex IS what we want."
Keep that in mind when you're making your improvements: as you go to the gym, as you improve how you dress or your haircut, as you accumulate wealth, knowledge and power, as you increase your social status and improve your social skills, as you approach women and develop better game, as you develop an abundance mentality. Trying to say that these improvements are "for you" and not "for women" is kind of kidding yourself, the same way women kid themselves into believing the reason they hit the gym in skin tight leggings and an eye-catching neon sports bra to do kick-backs in a room full of men, or the reason they go to the club in a skimpy dress and piles of make-up is "for her" and not "for men."
I'm not trying to say pussy's everything in life or that it's the be-all-end-all of existence, but keep in mind that you are currently inhabiting a primate body, and your desires for things like food and sex are not going away any time soon. One thing I've observed that TRP and the manosphere tend to be rather indecisive about is how much women matter: everything from the classic PUA 'women are the ONLY thing that matters' to the MGTOW 'women don't matter at ALL.'
Look, you can go vegan all you want but don't try to pretend that bacon doesn't smell good. You can go into monk mode or MGTOW or whatever all you want, but don't try to tell me it isn't all you can think about when that beauty with the perfect ass walks right in front of you, don't even try to pretend it doesn't stir your entire being as a man. It's how you're wired.
Alpha behavior will always be the best way to signal alpha genetics; not wealth, height, fitness, strength, facial aesthetics. All of that means jack shit if you act like a pussy-whipped provider. It truly does.
If you want a better sex life, if you want hotter sex with hotter women, if you want a variety of women in your life, if you want to experience true abundance and have the confidence to hard next a girl who isn't treating you right, then hear me: the number one thing you need to do is improve your ability to interact with women in a way that will generate attraction. The number one thing you need to do LEARN GAME.
Now get out there and manipulate those hoes. Let's have a great weekend.
(EDIT 1: Oh, and don't think because you have to force alpha behavior means you're a genetic beta male. It may very well be that your naturally alpha inclinations were suppressed by your modern Western up-bringing. If you never had a strong (read: alpha) male role model growing up, this could be you. You may find that dominance and decisiveness really is "being yourself.")