LTR + Cohabitation. A successful red pill example.

TL;DR

This post is a story. It’s about me, my ex gf Skinny L with whom I cohabitated with for several years and what it looks like when a man and woman living together goes right.

INTRO

If you are afraid of either LTRs or cohabitation and you think either will cause a woman to change or ruin your life then you have not fully internalised the teachings. You are still putting on an exterior in an attempt to control the behaviour of another.

I often read comments on here along the lines of if you drop your guard ever then they’ll lose interest and cheat or leave you. This doesn’t make any sense. Having a guard to drop in the first place implies that your alpha behaviour is only an act. It’s not about putting on an act, it’s about actually being that way. You don’t pretend to not be a bitch. You just aren’t a bitch. Fearing that “the beta will come out” because you live together is only real if you actually are beta, weak, needy, co-dependant and you think you won’t be able to hide that if you let her get too close. And committing does nothing to dry them up if they know you’ve a) got options and b) are willing to leave at any time.

BODY, AKA MY STORY

Like many of you I didn’t grow up with strong male role models in my life. But once I started watching action movies it didn’t take me long to begin idolising the likes of Stallone, early years Seagal, Die Hard era Bruce Willis and of course Charles Bronson. By the time I got into my first relationship that involved living together I’d really gotten into Casino Royale James Bond.

Anyway this relationship began before the red pill existed so I had a bit of evo psych under my belt but nothing this sophisticated. I was charting my own path and very much going against the grain of the social fabric of the time by being what I believed was a “real man”. I embraced and owned my masculinity - I had no idea this would make me attractive, it was just who I was and what I wanted to do. It did make me attractive of course and at the time I ended up having a few plates without really trying. One of them became an LTR that turned into cohabitation.

For some context I was living on campus during this time and was an extremely well known and popular college athlete (not well known in the real world, just on campus). In that controlled fishbowl environment my status and preselection were about as high as you can get outside of fame. I was still young though. A romantic too and a deep thinker. I should have been using this time to bang everything that moved but instead I continually sought connection. I wanted someone with an intellectual flame I could pour gas on, somebody who could light an intellectual bonfire in me.

And so it goes that I ended up joined at the hip with dear sweet Skinny L. God she was delightful. Absolutely so much fun and just an endless thirst for understanding. We would talk for hours and hours and never run out of things to say. Years on we were still living together and getting into bed at night it would take ages to go to sleep because we wouldn’t want to stop talking. She was also AWALT and deeply, deeply hypergamous. But don’t worry, this isn’t one of those horror stories.

As I mentioned my social proof and status were off the charts. With a good body and decent face + height I’d say I was probably an 8 in the real world. But inside the university bubble I was a 9.5. Skinny L was not in my league. I had a plate that was but she was boring as shit and a nutjob. Skinny L was petite, tight and adorable but would only have been an 8 body and 6, maybe 6.5 face. God she was awesome to hang out with though. At first it took her a while to even be able to speak in my presence. I remember offering her a drink once and her shaking so bad she spilled red wine on herself blushing and stammering. You can see how powerful this discrepancy in SMV was and it was the foundation for an absolutely awesome relationship.

At first we did the campus thing. Sleep in each other’s beds every night. There wasn’t even a question of commitment. We wanted to be together 24/7. The years went on, we graduated, moved cities and of course got our own place. The thing with Skinny L was despite all her charms she was a total peak woman mess. She needed to be lead and controlled at all times. Barely a day went by without her crying over some sort of nonsense. She would feel her emotions so intensely and be so present in them. She was obsessed, honest to god OBSESSED with finding a female best friend and she was endlessly jealous of my super close male friendships. Not jealous of my boys as in not wanting me to spend time with them. Jealous as in she wanted female versions of the relationships I had with so many males.

Anyway she was a chronic complainer to the point that I declared our apartment a “whinge free zone”. As soon as she’d start I’d say, “You don’t like it, there’s the door.” In fact this became so commonplace that as soon as she’d even try to start on a whinge I’d simply point to the door and she’d usually laugh.

She was a disaster to live with. So absent minded I would regularly find things like a half drunk cup of coffee in the cupboard because she’d put it down while getting a plate out and forgot. Sometimes she’d walk out the door with a shirt on inside out. She’d take hours to get ready and outfit after outfit would end up on the floor. She was a walking creator of chaos.

She knew it shit me and whenever I got pissed off enough about something such as a messy house I’d always threaten to throw her clothes out the window. I think I meant it at the time but I never actually had to go through with it because as soon as the words were out of my mouth and I was storming towards the wardrobe she’d start running around cleaning up promising to change and doing anything to placate me. Actually now that I think about it she must have been reacting to me being displeased, not to the threat of me throwing her clothes out the window.

Anyway eventually I broke up with her. We stayed friends for years. We’d talk and talk, text all the time. There was no-one on this Earth who knew and understood my mind better than this one crazy, hypergamous woman. The new women in my life never seemed bothered beyond a bit of competition anxiety which was of course always good for me. Her future partners on the other hand were all extremely jealous. It didn’t go both ways though. I was never bothered by her behaviour after we broke up. Being a woman, true, genuine loyalty was not possible for her and she would consistently cheat or branch swing on any man who became beta. In fact when I first discovered the red pill subreddit (very early 2014) I showed her and she subscribed. One day she said to me, “Ramesses I keep reading these posts where guys are super upset about something a woman’s done and just think, ‘yeah I’m exactly like that’.” Once she discovered what hypergamy was she wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. That would make as much sense as me being embarrassed by my pologyamous nature, i.e. my desire to fuck multiple chicks.

Her next two LTRs were probably ruined by her relationship with me. I never fucked her (EDIT: after we broke up, of course I fucked her while we were together) but my presence in her life turned them both into massive fucking betas. They were both alphas of their social groups too. She was the woman that ruined them, not dissimilar to many of the stories that have brought a lot of people here. Perhaps if those guys had never had to deal with the dark spectre of me in her life they maybe would have remained the men who were capable of attracting her in the first place and had a happy life with her. Who knows though.

As an aside there’s a point to note here for all the guys who think you need to control a woman’s contact with her ex: you’re idiots. You can’t control people’s behaviour. But by trying to control it you project epic insecurity. Ask yourself what is it that makes you feel so threatened and insignificant by a woman getting attention from another man? If either of those dudes had played it cool and not given a fuck her relationship with me might very well have waned. Plus in both cases there was no possibility of her cheating with me - after our breakup she moved to the other side of the world and that’s where she was when these relationships were taking place.

I suppose I’ve never been the jealous type. I just let people do what they’re gonna do. Women are not loyal in the way that men are. They don’t make a commitment to not branch swinging or to suppressing hypergamy. Society has made it that they don’t have to. And that’s ok. Why give a shit? When you properly master this you’ll only ever have proper relationships with women who you’ve got wrapped around your little finger without even trying. And they will bring immense value into your life. Because women are people. People you can lead and connect with and share your knowledge, share experiences and just have an awesome time together. To me being genuinely red pilled means being completely chill in the face of adversity and change. Having no fear of losing a woman, trusting that if she wants to leave and be with someone else that it’s for the best and you will end up with someone else too after. Or you’ll be alone and everything will still be alright. Because if you’re a man who has shit together your life is always alright.

CONCLUSION

What I want to say is that I had some absolutely AMAZING times with Skinny L. She never ever made me feel bad about myself, threatened or insecure. And she delighted me over and over. With her cuddles, with her obsessive devotion to me, with her adorable smile and nature, with her naturally unbelievably fun presence, with her ravenous curiosity and her mind that wanted to know the why of and understand everything. She never once hurt me because my self esteem never had anything to do with her. How she felt about me was irrelevant, how I felt about me was everything. I also don’t regret leaving her because our time together helped me to further clarify and refine what I was looking for in a partner. Many years on I still haven’t found it. But I’m not remotely daunted by the prospect of committing if I do. She won’t be a unicorn, she won’t not have hypergamy, she won’t not have the capacity to cheat and branch swing. But she will be a delightful addition to my life. And hopefully, just like with Skinny L, it will be my turn as long as I want it to be my turn.

Godspeed gentleman.