Now this is a concept that has been reiterated a lot in this sub, in that the attention a woman gets from men gives her a dopamine rush and releases those 'feel good' chemicals in the brain. She's feeling down? No worries. Post a cute selfie in Instagram and get 200 likes and a bunch of comments in a matter of minutes, no big deal.

Now here's where the metaphor can be expanded on a bit;

When you first start doing a drug, any little hit is enough to get you blitzed out of your skull, but then you eventually build up a tolerance and need more of it to get you high, or better stuff.

In a girl's case, when she's young and inexperienced, any attention from a guy hits the spot. It releases those chemicals and makes her feel good. But then she realizes that most of the attention she's getting is from guys who are lower on the attraction scale. But still, being young and inexperienced means that spending the day with some average dude who makes her laugh and says nice things to her is enough, for the moment, until it's not enough anymore. This is the shortest phase of this ladder - because it's the one where she realizes quickest how many guys want her attention, so she 'moves up' so to speak.

Upon realizing that the old kind of dopamine hit just doesn't do it for her anymore, she searches for something that hits the spot. She's built up a tolerance and now needs to find a harder hit to get her where she wants to be. In short, she wants something 'more'. Some average guy throwing her a compliment doesn't do shit for her anymore, so she craves the same type of validation, but from a more attractive, higher status guy. The more attracted she is to the guy, the better it'll feel when he validates her. And up and up this goes. She eventually gauges how attractive she is based on the attention she's getting, both the amount, and from which type of guys. The things that used to make her feel good (simply spending time with any guy who finds her attractive) now disgusts her and makes her feel nothing.

Just as weed is a 'gateway drug', so too is something like a simple ice-cream date with a guy when she's inexperienced and naive, or a first kiss or a dance. The way that cutesy high school shit used to make her feel is not attainable anymore unless she's getting pounded by the company CEO while 20 other guys are blowing up her phone. Same feeling, but it just takes a hell of a lot more to attain it.

Obviously this is a product of social media and the generation of tinder/instagram/facebook/instant validation whenever she wants. The 'drug' is much, MUCH more attainable then it once was, and she knows it. She knows she can get it any time. The problem is that it creates in her a bar that is set so high because of what she's capable of attaining from men. Rather than basking in it and enjoying how she could have her pick of any man she wants, she'll go for the top men because what good is half a gram of weed when you know the guy with the uncut cocaine?

Lessons learned

  • Women always want the next best thing.