Mindblown: My girlfriend just confirmed TRP to me.

HornedBul · 2019-03-06T10:51:44+00:00

I don't know if I have a chance to salvage this

There definitely is. When women want to hop off a relationship they won't even bother saying stuff like this. She said this as a last effort to get you back to your old self. She's screaming for it.

You better become your old self rather quickly, or she will stop bothering.

Rkingpin · 2019-03-06T10:52:16+00:00

Watch her Actions not words

She wanted to be your gf for who you were (cocky asshole)

Any change from this persona that she was originally attracted to will result in more shit tests and less fucking

Well done for identifying the problem now, internalise abundance and stop watching your every step to make sure it pleases her.

The moment you stop caring if you lose her or not, the moment she starts getting wet for you again

zeniapy · 2019-03-06T11:13:49+00:00

She displayed what is called overt communication, women only communicate overtly when they feel there is no other way you will "get it" otherwise. She is tired of you being a pussy, problem is she still cares for you, she is spelling it out for you plainly as a last ditch cry effort to make you understand.

This is a big loss for you because women only get to this point when they have already lost a lot of respect for you.

The only real way to take your dignity back is to stop taking shit to the point that you are willing to dump her or walk from the relationship if she gives you shit

le_king_falcon · 2019-03-06T12:15:58+00:00

You can regain this if played smart.

You cannot just flip a switch and be an asshole overnight if you don't want her aware of the fact that you've consciously changed for her.

You need to be more of the cocky confident asshole again. But don't do it by supplicating her. Be more attractive to women other than her, be less available to her and work on yourself. Do it gradually and keep it that way, this needs to be your frame 100%.

ARemember this, she's shown that she finds a man who supplicate to her wants and needs unattractive so don't do that. By telling you in plain English she's given you a golden opportunity. Many guys only find out because she found other dick. You might not save this relationship, but at minimum use this as an experiment. Learn how to dread, be your own man and respond to this sort of shit before she even realises there's an issue.

You've got a blank canvas, use it for your own gains.

PlantainNationalism · 2019-03-06T12:08:34+00:00

Patrice O'neal touched on this. They fall in love with what you are then spend the duration of the relationship trying to turn you into what you're not. Then they can feel comfortable leaving you. lol. This is your face when you realize women don't tell the truth

2019-03-06T10:54:27+00:00

She always made comments about how she hated the way I was cocky, or that I was very argumentative and never admitted I was wrong.

This was a shit test bro. You failed it. Get back to your old persona ASAP.

Zahlix · 2019-03-06T14:17:31+00:00

start of the relationship: don't ever change

mid of relationship: I'm working on changing him thee-hee :)

end of relationship: you've changed

ThePillAdvisor · 2019-03-06T11:00:12+00:00

I would personally think about what you would be trying to achieve by salvaging this relationship...

Some damage has already been done.

You can fix this situation with reverting back to your old behaviour for sure but she knows she can change you and will always want to continue to try...

KeffirLime · 2019-03-06T13:55:30+00:00

A woman wants comfort and security. So she'll dial in on all those things that make her feel uncomfortable, like you not supplicating, not listening to her etc. Essentially she tries to betafiy you, not because she wants a beta but because she wants the comfort and security of a beta.

When you start listening to what she says and giving her the comfort she asked for, you think she'll grow fonder of you but infact it has the complete opposite effect, she start's to lose interest.

This is because comfort kills attraction. The feels are gone, she no longer has the uncertainty of not knowing how you feel about her. So she stops putting in as much effort. This is also generally the point where she'll start to seek those feels elsewhere.

If you want to keep your women inline she needs to be aware her place is not secure. She needs to keep giving you her best to stay there. This tension is the glue that binds a happy home. She treats you well, and she remains attracted, win win.

TheDonJuanMata · 2019-03-06T11:17:34+00:00

So how did you find this sub all of sudden?

Neutral_User_Name · 2019-03-06T10:50:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

idrinkyour_milkshake · 2019-03-06T12:12:48+00:00

Never argue with women, it's a waste of time. Just ignore them.

ReturningSpider · 2019-03-06T13:20:23+00:00

Your best bet at recovery is to make yourself scarce for a while. With a girl who flat out says this kind of thing you might even want to think about full on NC for a while

In either case, if you can manage to reappear into her life back to being your old charming self she may be willing to pretend the fragile stuff never happened

bestsparkyalive · 2019-03-06T13:36:26+00:00

Wow. That’s the biggest shit test I think I’ve ever heard of yet.

Challenge accepted. Kill it man. Make her eat those words.

x6x6x61982 · 2019-03-06T11:18:27+00:00

That's is just it, the girl fell for you who you were, and you have to keep it up at all costs, besides, you were just being you. Don't change for anyone!

2019-03-06T12:27:11+00:00

Bit of a catch22 you're in. Either you start acting like an asshole and do what she says or keep being nice and ignore her. Yikes. Thanks for sharing.

2019-03-06T15:31:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-03-06T14:13:32+00:00

Of course that's true. Something similar has happened to me with my ex-girlfriend: when I started to be more passionate and less cocky she decided to break with me. I think now she's with a rude piece of shit of a man, and she likes how he treats her.

TRP is simply the truth, when you break the walls around you and you start to know what's the deal with women, you are free. What I like of TRP is how men are sharing a common experience and they are finding how the real world works in just few posts.

Zech4riah · 2019-03-06T15:08:59+00:00

Classic "natural alpha" becomes betaized through her actions and his own feelings.

Glad you learned your lesson early enough. Many others aren't so lucky (marriage, kids, divorce rape etc. after getting sloppy and out of shape).

DeadliftRx · 2019-03-06T16:38:55+00:00

What the fuck is wrong with everyone pretending that OP should salvage this.

Salvage what?

The damage is done. Get rid of her. You are still her bitch and she is just waiting for a better branch with a bigger dick or fatter wallet because she knows you have no spine, now.

If it makes you feel better, be honest with her,

I made the mistake of caring about you and wanting to be a good man to and for you but it clearly backfired because you don't want that. Now get lost. There is nothing to work on, you dont deserve who I was or who I am.

omen_tenebris · 2019-03-06T12:36:27+00:00

Woman will literally tell you that they want a competent man, and not a "man" that act like cuddly cat.

Why don't guyz get it?

jonpe87 · 2019-03-06T13:12:19+00:00

A girl that can be this clear... "I fell for you because you were a cocky asshole that all the girls wanted, and it amazes me how you find new ways to be more fragile every day" ...you better awake the asshole

edit

also, hate is love, indiference is hate in the pink world

2019-03-06T15:26:53+00:00

Good Job man.

Similar story here, I wasn't a player like you, but I was very self-centered, didn't give a fuck, flirty and cocky. After 6 months I became comfortable and enjoyed my LTR too much, that is the biggest mistake you can make. Had a major Oneitis for her.

The moment you get too much comfortable with her, she starts to be too much comfortable with you and gives herself the permission to behave as she wishes. You lost your frame, you need her more then she needs you, and you basically powerless.

What we as men can't understand is that the fights and arguments that we see as something negative and exhuasting as we just thrive for peace, are what fuels the LTR, and watering the vagina.

2019-03-06T16:43:11+00:00

Wow. You must have a magic D for her to stick with you through your whimsy bullshit.

Save this. She’s a keeper. Go join a sports team and start doing things with the boys outside of the house. Reassert your confidence. Laugh it away as you not spending enough time around rowdy men. Go on and carry on cocky and all. Bonus points if you can find a way to tease that your temporary insecurity was her fault all along... in a poking fun at her-I-dont-care-about-blame sort of way not an actual blaming way.

c4toyourdoornobeef · 2019-03-06T16:48:30+00:00

Classic example of watch what women do, not what they say.

Memo_From_Turner · 2019-03-06T23:42:42+00:00

I realize now that no matter what women say, they want the exact opposite of everything they claim.

If TRP had only 4-5 holy catechisms, this would be one.

redpect · 2019-03-06T13:42:19+00:00

Welcome to TRP, you learned, and the price to learn is to lose a girlfriend.

Cheap price, to be honest. Dump her, find your true self and next time, dont try to mold yourself to accomodate other people.

Good-Boi · 2019-03-06T12:08:12+00:00

She only wanted you for your market value, your value has gone down in her eyes. Don't waste your time, move on to someone better, she has literally spat into your face over your efforts

dogenes09 · 2019-03-06T20:29:29+00:00

The best thing you can do is start going out and looking for plates to spin. Even if you aren't actually trying. The act of reinvigorating your sexuality will not only bring back the old you she liked, it will put you in a better position to decide if YOU want to keep HER- or maybe it's time to find someone new.

csawyer86 · 2019-03-06T22:04:11+00:00

I agree with the person who said she sounds like a short term relationship or a fuck buddy. No relationship lasts when one person is an asshole all the time. Balance is key

lunaluis · 2019-03-06T22:39:37+00:00

Don’t fix what isn’t broken.

If she’s having sex with you and still wanting to be with you, why would you change your attitude?

There’s better guys out there. There always will be. Don’t let it give you anxiety. Fact is, she may leave you at any second for another dude, that’s why we advocate to always have an exit plan.

Her being hot and getting attention from guys won’t be enough for her to dump your ass. What will is you behaving like the guys who give her attention, I.E putting her on a pedestal and being blue pilled.

Trust her actions, not her words. If she calls you an asshole or says she hates you, watch her actions. How does she say it? Probably playfully.

The way you portray your vibe and your communication with women is more important than the actual words themselves. I can have a more sexual interaction with someone talking about boring shit than I can talking about sex. The key is the tension (eye contact, manner of speaking, body language, etc), NOT the words.

You goofed up, best thing is to withdraw. Don’t just be an asshole again because she told you that’s what she wants. Let her chase you. Hang out with female friends, hit the gym more, eat and sleep a lot, get jacked, and open up options for yourself.

This is called dread game and it works. If she calls you out for it, tell her you’re busy or something. Women are covert communicators, this is why dread game works so well. She’ll sense the detachment and your abundance and start to chase you.

2019-03-07T04:29:37+00:00

A bitch will either give you the time of day, or she won't. She will either want you, or she won't. She will either stay around, or she won't. Trying to attract a gal, or keep her around by customizing yourself to her specifications is a fool's quest. Plus it shows the power dynamic has changed to her favor, and the minute she thinks you need her more than she needs you...your ass is grass!

magx01 · 2019-03-06T13:50:24+00:00

"I fell for you because you were a cocky asshole that all the girls wanted, and it amazes me how you find new ways to be more fragile every day"

I doubt this is a real quote.

voidfactory · 2019-03-06T11:28:41+00:00

If it's not broken don't fix it.

Philhelm · 2019-03-06T18:32:24+00:00

If you were that much of a natural, alpha stud, why don't you just ditch her and go back to that?

7Tomus · 2019-03-06T12:41:01+00:00

Isnt it logical that they fell for your original self and when you started to change then this change might not be something that they would like anymore ?
I would say that you have to change your lifestyle a bit at least since you are not single. Aswell as using common sense and not beeing total retard asshole in a relationship. But it has its limits and turning from chad into soft pudding crossed that line.

TheStumblingWolf · 2019-03-06T14:03:07+00:00

I believe this genius' analogy may catch your interest:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KzCfIYArmQ

This is why it's important to know the theory behind TRP, and not just be alpha naturally. Without the knowledge the natural alpha is no better off than the beta. He doesn't know how he ended up in life where he is. He just lived and reacted instead of making conscious choices.

bluefingerblue · 2019-03-06T14:06:57+00:00

Gonna be tough for you to change yourself in this situation. You clearly have some level of oneitis for this girl. And once a woman you have oneitis for is able to break your frame, I find it difficult to regain it. It’s doable, but very difficult.

I think the best way to regain it is to find someone else who you’re equally excited about. You need that real abundance to maintain an IDGAF attitude, especially once your frame has been broken. So either start getting excited about another woman (or women), or come to terms with accepting the end of the relationship.

If you make these changes in effort to win her back, it will be very difficult to maintain frame when her shit tests inevitably ramp up. She’ll be compelled to test you to see if these changes are the real deal. And we often fall into old patterns with women we have (or had) oneitis for, even after making strides in TRP principles and recognizing our mistakes.

You really have to internalize not giving a fuck about losing her. Easier said than done, because clearly you do care. Won’t be easy but good luck bro.

AlfredKinsey · 2019-03-06T14:25:01+00:00

Mmm, yummy pill. Taste good, man.

It's cool that she told you straight up.

Dread game if tryna keep her around.

GodOfDinosaurs · 2019-03-06T15:13:27+00:00

Fix yourself but make sure you do NOT tell her what you're doing, or go out of your way to make a point of it. Get your head right and let whatever happens happen.

Bystander93 · 2019-03-06T15:21:59+00:00

Lol. You know there’s a middle ground right? No one likes a pussy and no one likes a cocky asshole. You can be a decent person without being a pushover suck up. You need to grow up.

MattyAnon · 2019-03-06T15:34:16+00:00

All the time at the start when she acted like she hated the way I was, the way I didn't care about anything or didn't hesitate to stand up for myself without fearing consequence, deep down it's the very thing that had her so attracted to me!

She was testing to see how real and solid your convictions are. She got her answer.

PM_Me_OK · 2019-03-06T16:00:09+00:00

Hahaha you sound like a wimp. Like you NEED a woman to be happy. Whatever works for women you'll compromise your self and your values cuz "it works." Who cares about being nice and caring cuz hey women 'like' the asshole. Thats just pathetic dude. Just like putting pussy on a pedastol but in a different way. What you need to do is stop being a pussy and find a new girl who isnt crazy. She's attracted to shit, you dont want to be shit. There's tons of girls who will appreciate you being sweet and caring. Just dont put up with their disrespect in anyway and you can be kind without looking weak.

TheDevilsAdvokaat · 2019-03-06T16:14:36+00:00

Wow.

But it is great to have it confirmed right from the horse's mouth.

"I like you but I want you to change change change ....eeeewww now I don't like you any more"

yumyumgivemesome · 2019-03-06T16:39:11+00:00

Excellent self-awareness. Hope you update us on how your relationship changes and evolves from this point forward.

2019-03-06T16:55:45+00:00

Knowing is half the battle.

EPArt · 2019-03-06T17:00:06+00:00

Dump her you obviously need to be away from her to get back to normal and to do that you need to start rotating girls again.

FractalNerve · 2019-03-06T19:13:24+00:00

Interesting problem. I like it!

📍 You change, you loose respect and it's unsavable (long-term) or you recover maybe, but with bruises.

📍 You stay, you loose, because she is unhappy (short-term) or she cheats.

📍 You fucking move on, you win (long-term) , but may loose her faster.

So you're only winning move is to not care about her mumblings, act like she never said it and to stop talking to her asap. But to show actions like meeting girls who she may envy, to move her mind to the right track and get her hamster to do the work.

dasCooDawg · 2019-03-06T19:47:45+00:00

Don’t get relaxed .... in anything. Don’t stop minding your talk, walk, dressing, physique, etc

A_Clockwork_Kubrick · 2019-03-06T20:22:36+00:00

Jesus, it's just too complicated. I'm glad porn exists and I don't have arthritis in my right hand. Once you ejaculate it's like a spell has been lifted. Really no point in keeping a woman around unless you just have to have one's company.

bgovern · 2019-03-06T20:23:08+00:00

This same thing happened to me. I had an on-again off-again relationship with a girl from highschool through college. As always seems to be factor in these stories, I thought she was out-of-my-league hot.

When I was single, I was my authentic self. Confident, in charge, did cool things, had swagger. Once we would start to date, she would slowly start to complain about things I did, henpeck me, discourage me from developing myself and trying new things, etc. Of course, I wanted to do whatever would make her happy, so I would change my ways and my personality. I turned into a cutesy, fawning, stagnant, insecure wreck that existed only to put her on a pedestal.

After a while, it would kick into high gear. She would start to distance herself from me. Not returning calls, breaking dates, being evasive with what she was doing. Then not discourage guys who were clearly trying to make moves on her ("so-and-so only wants to be friends", "I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend, because that would be mean"). Of course, all during this I would go out of my way to avoid even talking to other girls to "prove my commitment. Ultimately she would break up with me, saying that 'things weren't the same', and 'I'm just not attracted to you anymore'. I would be crushed, with (what seemed like) my whole world in pieces.

Fast forward a few months. I've picked up the pieces. I'm socially active again. Back working out. I have my confidence back. I'm the authentic, in charge, me again. We would run into each other somewhere, or she would seek me out as a dumpster for her emotional trash after another one of her poor-quality relationships fell apart. She liked what she saw again. This was the guy that she was attracted to. Of course, she knew exactly how to manipulate me, and her claws would be back in me before I knew it, and the whole cycle would repeat again.

It took me well into my 20s before I was mature enough to realize what was going on put a stop to it. I wish I could go back in time and slap 16 year old me for putting up with this. For wasting so many years on her. For all the self-destructive things I did in the aftermath of these 'relationships'. For not respecting myself enough to be myself, and realize I deserve better. I'm glad you figured it out faster than I did!

2019-03-06T20:59:19+00:00

“Once you’ve accepted yourself and presented yourself as a “complete douche” there’s no going back to confidence with a woman.” -Rollo Tomassi

thedragonrises · 2019-03-06T21:28:25+00:00

bruh idk. yea she prob liked the confident dude you were before but tbh, a long-term girl wouldn't see you apologizing as being fragile. She'd appreciate that you're not an asshole all the time and that you can recognize right from wrong and can be sensitive to her needs. Not to dull your shine but idk if this girl is worth the long-term. i think this will break.

2019-03-06T22:32:18+00:00

Brah real talk if you can't be intimate with a bitch and she wants hyper masculinity always. I'd cut her off and let her find that shit somewhere else. Too much effort. You shouldn't have to make an effort to maintain a persona. Reserve that attitude for more gainful pursuits. Also she's using your fear of losing her to negotiate attraction which you cant do.

throwlaca · 2019-03-06T22:44:10+00:00

I was a cocky asshole, like, super asshole to my LTR. Would dread for the slightest thing. Her friends hated me, etc. Then my LTR dumped my ass because of that. However, turns out she could't forget me and some months later I get a letter saying shes terribly in love bla bla. Another datapoint confirming this post.

grandmasbroach · 2019-03-06T23:16:41+00:00

Whoever needs the other least, has the power in the relationship. This is also why it is important to date according to your smv. If you're a 4, and she's an 8. The guy will always wonder if she is going to leave simply because he is aware she has options. Which, she does, and will most likely swing to one in due time.

Not to be a dick, but I think you may have already lost this one OP. It's clear you "need" her more than she needs you at this point. The problem is deeper than, she just wants you to be an asshole again. It goes to the core of the power balance in your relationship as a whole. So, unless you can flip that, and have a situation where she needs you more than you need her, it's over.

As Rollo says, you're better off chasing new girls than trying to make it work with an ex. This one looks like it's over OP, sorry. What happens next is a branch swing, and you don't get to find out about that until she is packing her bags to move in with him. As soon as a guy comes along that plays the dominant idgaf guy and gets her tingles going, she will most likely hop on it without a second thought. Probably best to just move on at this point OP. Save yourself the heartbreak.

mrrooftops · 2019-03-06T23:35:55+00:00

You're fucked if you get seriously ill. Good luck.

javiercer20 · 2019-03-07T03:04:51+00:00

That’s why you don’t rely on women to be happy, the more detached you’re from them, aloof of their feelings and treating them like the little whores they are, the more they will line up to fuck your brains up. When you think you being to much of an asshole is when you’re about to get the best blowjob ever.

Fromfame · 2019-03-07T05:04:51+00:00

Putting TRP aside for a second, I feel like there’s a world of information missing here about why you’re seen as a cocky narcissist and if I’m being honest you sound like a manipulating person off of what you wrote.

BlackCoffee88 · 2019-03-07T07:50:14+00:00

I feel your pain I’ve been there. Stop losing frame. Hold on to it for dear life. You’ve seen it before your very eyes that blue pill shit doesn’t work. You thought she might be an exception. Now you know female nature. Regain frame if you can otherwise you know what this subreddit will tell you, next

RevolutionaryPea7 · 2019-03-07T22:07:48+00:00

The only people who need the Red Pill are men. Women know this shit.

xesup2 · 2019-03-08T01:38:34+00:00

When a LTR woman need you to make her feel love again, she picks any dumb excuse to cause drama. Any irrelevant issue and she throws an emotion to you, generally a conflict.

What she needs and is asking for, at that point, is for you to seduce her again.

Love is never won. Is nothing that lasts. You do not "win her love, and she keeps loving you". She loves in the moment, so you have to make her feel it again, and again, and again.

The right answer to the pointless conflict is to seduce and make her horny.

Do NOT:

Argue logically with her. She needs an orgasm, not a discussion.
Fight with her. She doesn't want a fight, she wants to feel horny.
Complain and make her guilty for attacking you when she should be loving you. She doesn't understand why she is picking a fight. You can make her guilty, but it accomplishes nothing. She needs to feel love, and you are frustrating her.
Concede what she is asking for. She doesn't need what she is asking for. She is asking for something irrelevant. She needs to feel horny, and doesn't know how to ask for it. If you do what she is asking for, you make her feel that she owns you like a child.

Women cannot jump into you and tell "make me feel horny", because they need you to seduce them, so they instead provoke you, by throwing an emotional attack to move you out of your indifference.

2019-03-09T02:12:53+00:00

i don't think there's a problem with being caring/soppy, but there is a problem with being insecure, needy and weak

cobalt1728 · 2019-03-09T02:41:44+00:00

This is why I take Steroids.

CAPIreland · 2019-03-09T13:59:04+00:00

I'd not salvage it my dude. It takes a long time to actually know if a girl is trustworthy enough to let yourself relax a little around. I know people on here say you never can, but you can, it just takes a while, and they need to be wanting you entirely, for longer than a college fling. Drop this girl, hell, after this sort of insult just literally never see her again. She's clearly a raging bitch, and you don't need that. If she gets mad at no attention tell her that she's proven to you she's not worth your time, energy, or attention. Best of luck.

YngWn · 2019-03-10T19:20:08+00:00

Give her a nice, hard, dominant fucking and never look back.

2019-03-14T20:51:58+00:00

Let's be honest here: you were only "in love" with her looks. Anyone ought to feel insulted when they are "loved" for nothing but their orifices and appearance.

Had she lost her looks you would've done the same thing. I don't see how any of this is unfair. You never really liked her, she never really liked you. Why do people always mix up things?

Sake99 · 2019-03-06T14:12:10+00:00

HELP! HELP! HELP! .... SOS

I am writing this to you because I am a naive individual guy who raised by a bunch of females in my house. I don't know how to be cocky, I'm 24/7 what you were with this girl. ANYONE, please linked to posts where I can be more assertive/cocky. These are my problems:

Social Anxiety. I've it. It's very hard to convince a stranger.
Whenever a stranger disagrees with me, I always jump to his point of view without realizing what I believe and say about this.
I avoid fight/confrontation of any kind. I am INFJ personality type (search MBTI) and I am sick of my kindness and appeasing nature.
Alhtough I am relatively calm than my people but people take it for granted and treat me like a push over and I can't help it. To add fuel to fire, I am thin/skinny.
I am 25 years old and without girlfriend, I've a stable job and an engineer but the moment I want to make a move, I get discouraged, I know it doesn't make sense but I cant help it.

**Give me Tips**

How to be madly assertive and cocky and without remorse about anything?

marksiwelforever · 2019-03-08T05:09:39+00:00

You’re just mad at your mom

Title	Mindblown: My girlfriend just confirmed TRP to me.
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	797
Comments	151
Date	March 6, 2019 10:36 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/TheRedPill
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/mindblown-my-girlfriend-just-confirmed-trp-to-me.786735 https://theredarchive.com/post/786735
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/axxfod/mindblown_my_girlfriend_just_confirmed_trp_to_me/