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Mindblown: My girlfriend just confirmed TRP to me.

March 6, 2019
797 upvotes
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Post Information
Title Mindblown: My girlfriend just confirmed TRP to me.
Author AutoModerator
Upvotes 797
Comments 151
Date March 6, 2019 10:36 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/mindblown-my-girlfriend-just-confirmed-trp-to-me.786735
https://theredarchive.com/post/786735
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/axxfod/mindblown_my_girlfriend_just_confirmed_trp_to_me/
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Comments

[–]HornedBul 510 points511 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

I don't know if I have a chance to salvage this

There definitely is. When women want to hop off a relationship they won't even bother saying stuff like this. She said this as a last effort to get you back to your old self. She's screaming for it.

You better become your old self rather quickly, or she will stop bothering.

[–][deleted] 186 points187 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Quick caveat, let her prompt you. Catch her when she fucks up and call her on it. Otherwise, it looks like you’re being obsequious and changing your personality immediately at her request.

[–]RedPillFusion 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is perfect advice.

[–]Pestilence1911 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I started calling out bad behavior in women, they want you to do it.

Its weird.

[–]Harambe440 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you call out bad behavior?

[–]hazelstein 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would say you train your girl, if she breaks up with with you its your fault. Maybe it is your last heads up, Rather than becoming beta, improve yourself be even better than "older yourself" .

[–]hazelstein 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On the second thought PIMP your girl

[–]javiercer20 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That’s why once things like this happen, you better off stop talking to her and find another one. She saw your weak side already, and she will never forget how weak you could get.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I feel like anything he says to her would in an attempt to be like his old cocky self would just be unnatural to her and give her the impression he’s trying too hard.

If he was his cocky self he would just show her the door, and not worry about it because he’s got options. (EDIT: Just like how he said in the beginning of the post.)

[–]innominating 59 points60 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes, 100 percent this guy has oneitis and no options or abundance.

OP needs to work on curing oneitis and development of abundance and the old cockiness will manifest as a by product.

If he jumps to cockiness without curing oneitis, she’s leading him, and he’s a dancing monkey.

[–]SiliconeGiant 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't that the disconnect on her part? Which is, she probably thinks he can get that attitude back while still only being interested in her. When in fact the reason he was like that, was because he naturally didn't care because he had options.

So he could either try to fake it and maybe come off as trying too hard, or if he genuinely gets back to having options, well then she might not like that! Additionally if she knows he genuinely has options again, she might take that as a cue for herself to open up some options.

[–]Fulp_Piction 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't overthink it. 9/10 times you ask yourself if you really give a fuck about the situation, you don't. It gets pretty straightforward after that. Be cold.

[–]hmsthinkingmeat 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the big clue is that if she really hated the cocky arrogant man he was before - she wouldn't have been with him in the first place.

Then he changes to what she said she wanted and she lost interest.

Actions, not words.

[–]OutsideTheCage3 28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That girl is also a fuck buddy, not a long-term partner. Chicks suitable for longer-term things want a mix of comfort/intimacy and dominance/power. If they only want the latter, they are short-termers only.

[–]OsmiumZulu 35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

... unless OP went so beta that she is actually asking for him to add some alpha back into the mix to achieve that balance she may want

[–]Kpwn88 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

add some alpha back into the mix to achieve that balance she may want

This

[–]Yashugan00 35 points36 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

that's right, incredibly kind of her, calling for her captain. possibly a keeper.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Accurate_Replacement 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

lmfao the cute wife meme died when tinder and the internet was invented

[–]Garathon 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

LMFAO that died long before that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's telling that you were going to be figured out.

[–]party_dragon 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, women want an asshole that tells others to bend over and get fucked.

But the only way she can see that, is that you make her bend over.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Yashugan00 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yep, She's begging to be put in line, going out there and searching for an alpha is a lot of work, and a bit of gamble, she'd rather get the old guy back. makes sense.

[–]bigredbullet 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I experienced this. Girl told me "I need you to be the man in this relationship." Pissed me off to the point I stopped caring about her completely... which ended up making her submit to me completely.

I think actually not caring was important though, not just appearing as though I didn't care. Gotta start hitting up other women.

[–]grandmasbroach 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know if it's really even worth it at this point. I think the odds of her branch swinging to someone she perceives as more dominant is pretty high at this point. Not sure how he will do this and make it seem authentic. Women are really good at detecting that sort of thing. So, I don't know if he can even do this without it seeming like he is simply because she told him to act that way. It's like a damned if he does, damned if he doesn't situation now. Imho, I say break it off. He's young and can use this as a life lesson. I'd hate to see him stay in it to make it work, and then find out she's cheating or branch swings on him with someone she deems more dominant.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He's in a catch-22 situation. If he goes back to being the disagreeable asshole he's actually agreeing with her and trying to make her happy. Will be very hard to pull this off.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah his best bet is to be the one to call off the relationship, or at least say he needs his space. Then get back to banging thots and have her see him getting action and attention and then he can rekindle in 6-12 months.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. He's been tainted in her mind, she'll never ever ever let go of this feeling of him being total beta.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Eh, I’ve had a girl come crawling back after a month of separation because she “needs to think”. That’s not a total end to the relationship necessarily.

[–]Rkingpin 161 points162 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Watch her Actions not words

She wanted to be your gf for who you were (cocky asshole)

Any change from this persona that she was originally attracted to will result in more shit tests and less fucking

Well done for identifying the problem now, internalise abundance and stop watching your every step to make sure it pleases her.

The moment you stop caring if you lose her or not, the moment she starts getting wet for you again

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

The Medium IS the message.

Watch their actions, not their words. And never listen to their idea of the ideal guy. They're describing an orbiter, not a boyfriend.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I agree.

Women speak with two mouths. Only one tells the truth.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm formulating a theory that women cannot be both attracted to, and comfortable with, the same guy. Cannot be.

Evolutionarily the guy a woman needed would be a dangerous guy in high demand. Being comfortable means you lose him to other partners. To keep that guy meant being always worried about losing him. Which, back then, could literally be life or death.

By trying to force monogamy women have undermined the competition for men that was the driving force behind their own attraction.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is an interesting idea and I think it has merit.

I think you should keep thinking about it. I can see why a woman would want BOTH types of men.

She needs an alpha for protection - betas are useless for this; that's why they're betas. They are unable to handle other men.

But she needs a beta too - because alphas don't provide they just fuck. And if she tries to force him to provide he's off to the next chick; so she has to settle for betas for provisions - and bribes them with sex to stay around.

This seems to fit a lot of behaviour. Would explain why women want to fuck badboys, but want a "relationship" with betas. Would also explain why women lose desire for a man once he is tamed, and have no desire at all for beta men - yet marry them.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly this.

I used to ponder how men in an LTR can walk the tightrope between being the guy she wants, and the one she needs.

But you know...fuck it. The more time I spend in one, the more i think we simply are not built for an LTR. At least, some of us. And nearing 40, the degradation of my relationship seems to increase in speed toward some terminal velocity with every increasingly sexless month.

Dont get me wrong. We arent dead bedroom. And as women go, i could do a lot worse. On the other hand...I'm bored. Getting laid once a week sucks. And i dont do a whole lot as a result of being in a relationship that i wouldn't do on my own.

Its reaching the point where if she didn't make good money I'd likely be gone...and that's a sad place to be when you're approaching 40.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My relationships always go the same way too. It's always a long, slow curve to zero.

I got divorced in 2018; I'm done with women. In my 50's and not physically attracted to women my own age; and women younger aren't really suited to me anyway. (Or me to them!)

I'm going solo from now on.

[–]boxxybebe 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There's a Shakespeare play where one of his characters is lamenting that the girl is too comfortable with him, and that a necessary component of passion is being a bit uncomfortable around each other. So yeah even in the olden days they knew what you're saying, it's just gotten twisted in our era.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Think I need to be in jail.

[–]g0dfather93 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The moment you stop caring if you lose her or not, the moment she starts getting wet for you again

100% this. This isn't to say don't care for her but DO NOT change your normal course of actions for her. Be yourself. YOU are who she got attracted to. There are obviously things you do for the other person but they have to be a well earned value addition and not servile pleasing shit. Women find it hot when men don't walk on eggshells and just be cool doing their thing.

[–][deleted] 114 points115 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

She displayed what is called overt communication, women only communicate overtly when they feel there is no other way you will "get it" otherwise. She is tired of you being a pussy, problem is she still cares for you, she is spelling it out for you plainly as a last ditch cry effort to make you understand.

This is a big loss for you because women only get to this point when they have already lost a lot of respect for you.

The only real way to take your dignity back is to stop taking shit to the point that you are willing to dump her or walk from the relationship if she gives you shit

[–]zeniapy 22 points23 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You are not completely wrong, but still generally speaking, what a horrible foundation for a committed and trustworthy long term relationship. This can`t be the solution! However, I am repeating myself, you are not completely wrong.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Sitting on the fence will do you no good, you need to make a choice about who you want to be. There is no middle ground, you either are or you are not.

If a relationship has degraded due to a mans wavering frame, he has built its foundation out of straw, on feel good emotions, emotional dependance and lack of leadership. The womans trust in his capability has eroded due to his inability to remain strong against her poking and prodding, she has lost faith in his masculinity.

For a man to salvage his relationship he needs to demolish the house and rip out the straw foundation tho replace it with rock and concrete. Then rebuilt the house on a solid foundation. Unfortunately she already knows that he failed her tests before and wont trust his determination as genuine. Her tests will triple both in frequency and intensity, looking for any sign of his former weakness. Most relationships dont survive this.

Most men revert to their former weakness because they are unwilling to let go of the relationship, they give in to threats from the woman to leave them or manipulative punishments like witholding sex or the silent treatment and blatant disrespect in front of friends and family. They react emotionally and choose her over their own dignity, when in fact she is begging to be shown the door.

The solution is often counter to intuition, but in order to regain ones self respect means choosing oneself over the relationship. She needs to believe that if she disrespects you there will be consequences, and a very real possibility that you will walk.

[–]zeniapy 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Very nice metaphor! I get what you are saying. The issue I have with this is a more general one. Your argumentation leads logically speaking to a purely purpose based relationship of two independent people. In other words, a relationship serves the accomplishment of ones person's goals - not a the ones of a couple. You don`t want to watch netflix all alone? Invite someone to our place! You want to get laid? Call your fwb. You want to safe money? Share a flat! You get what I am saying. As this definitely seems to be the trend nowadays, as everyone wants to be independent. However, absolute independence is not the foundation of a long term relationship - compromise and adaptation to change is. At this point my arguments mostly disagree with yours, but wait, here comes the part where you are right. Altough independence is the trend, deep down inside we still incline to serious, monogamous relationships - now things start to get complicated. Instead of maintaining and working on our relationships both together as a couple and alone as part of a couple, we start to seek for the things we feel missing out and maybe start to question the necessity of monogamy at all. I mean, we all are independent people, right? We can do whatever we want, we don`t need no-ones approval. So that is exactly what people do - instead of talking with their significant other, they build up their own mindset and start to behave as a single. I can spare you the details - we all know how it feels realizing your partner is drifting away from you - this hurts as hell. The logical conclusion is, we build up this huge wall around us, pretend not to care at all, only do what we want and feel like, never truly trust anyone and live our lifes as singles. As someone said: "You can`t get your heart broken, if you pretend not to have one." But humans are social beings, which still want to get accepted by people - so we hide behind superficialities, go lift, have 100+ contacts in our phone and life our independence to the fullest. This right here, is the reason why way too many relationships don`t work out - because relationships and complete independence don`t come along very well.
Now, if you are still reading. This doesn`t mean we should give in ourselfs completely. It just means, that couples should start to talk more and aim for mutual goals. Her winning is your winning and the way around. However, if you get to the point where you agree to disagree, you should have the courage to admit seperate ways might be better. This is very hard, but this confession can be only achieved by talking and acting as a team - and not to single teenagers who dip eachother, just because the other guy's/ girl's parents have a new jacuzzi.
At the end of the day we all want to be happy and feel appreciated and long term this is only achievable as a team.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You are close. i feel another analogy coming.

As a man you are the team. You are the captain and you are responsible for the entire ship, your first mate and crew is simply there to assist you in maintaining order, they all trust you with their lives. If you lack leadership and are indecisive and uncertain your first mate will lose confidance in you and this lack of trust will trickle down to your crew. Eventually your first mate will start to undermine your authority based on your incompetence, you will have a potential mutiny.

What I have asserted in my previous post is the overt decoding of what the situation is in its raw state and an overt, raw solution. One does not enter into or maintain an LTR by being overt and exercising full disclosure all the time. These are subtle undertones that guide the relationship, unspoken boundaries that simply need to be lightly maintained every now and then as the woman tests and prods them. She will naturally test a mans boundaries this is normal, the man need only lightly maintain them. she will keep it covert because she has confidance in his masculinity, she feels safe and does not feel the need to overtly spell it out for him because she trusts that he is capable. The discussion or suggestion of walking from the relationship, covert or overt, never comes up because there is minimal doubt either side, there is solid leadership and trusting dependant.

Nothing truly needs to be asserted drastically unless things have gone too far, if a man has failed to maintain his boundaries and has a weak frame, his woman has already lost confidance in him as a man and light maintenance will not work.

In this case respect is the issue, if you are at this point it is your fault not hers. You have to understand that if you let things get this far you can forget about regaining her respect, you will never succeed by conventional means or by negotiating or bargaining, or even by force. There is only one way to regain her respect and that is to disregard your need for her respect and instead work to regain your own self respect.

She can only begin to respect you once she realizes that you are your own centre of gravity, that your core stability comes from within and is not influenced by her. She may say the opposite a thousand times but its useless to listen to what she says, watch what she does.

Relationships of the LTR kind are mostly covert, the healthiest LTR are the ones where full disclosure is never a factor, there is no urgency that requires overt discussion. things are communicated subtly, subliminally through body language and banter. If there is a need to communicate overtly then there are fundamental flaws that defeat the purpose of an LTR

[–]geo_gan 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“If there is a need to communicate overtly then there are fundamental flaws..”

This is probably why the worst thing a woman can say is “we need to talk”

[–]krowitz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

sorry. no just no. i want to be happy. i don't care if im appreciated or not. im not hiding from superficialities. lift? 100 contacts? are these the things we use to hide our insecurities inside? you are projecting too much here.

live and let live though. to each his own. i respect your views. but no.

[–]le_king_falcon 52 points53 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You can regain this if played smart.

You cannot just flip a switch and be an asshole overnight if you don't want her aware of the fact that you've consciously changed for her.

You need to be more of the cocky confident asshole again. But don't do it by supplicating her. Be more attractive to women other than her, be less available to her and work on yourself. Do it gradually and keep it that way, this needs to be your frame 100%.

ARemember this, she's shown that she finds a man who supplicate to her wants and needs unattractive so don't do that. By telling you in plain English she's given you a golden opportunity. Many guys only find out because she found other dick. You might not save this relationship, but at minimum use this as an experiment. Learn how to dread, be your own man and respond to this sort of shit before she even realises there's an issue.

You've got a blank canvas, use it for your own gains.

[–]g0dfather93 15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

This, a 50 times this, OP! A positive and realistic comment at last! At least at TRP not all responses are "ABANDON SHIT OMG", unlike the Relationships sub. Be subtle, be yourself effortlessly and it has a good chance to work out well for everyone.

Caution: As someone has mentioned, she's advertised her problem in plain words so you've fallen quite far down her respect ladder. It's not entirely a lost case but things can go wrong for you, so please, try to not introduce any new men in her life and watch out for signs of infidelity. This is the phase where women are most likely to cheat.

Side Note to OP - Glad you found love, and sorry that you had to face the sad truth that love does not supersede basic female nature. I know you want to be the considerate boyfriend having thoughtful conversations with her, opening up to her, being all supportive and sweet - it is possible to be these things AND maintain your frame but it's a delicate balance and takes time. Even multiple trials. Basically it's all about moderation and doing what the situation calls for. You can and should be your cocky macho self in casual/general/private settings. Treat her with respect in front of others, especially in professional/family gatherings. Compliment her and make her feel appreciated but only when she deserves it - as it should be. If you write incoherent bullshit and I say "gorgeous essay, acceler8td!" it communicates one of three things - I am a dumbass with no sense OR I am treating you like a dumbass and patronising your sorry ass OR If this is indeed your level of skill, I am cool with it. All 3 scenarios are negative. Admonish her where you feel she's lacking, and take admonishment from her where you are lacking like a man. A woman should feel that she's really growing as a person by being in a relationship with you, if you want to command true and genuine respect from her without any mind games. Share your problems and anguish at shit in your life but first ask her about her day and wait for her to ask. It's okay to initiate opening up on special circumstances but if you just routinely spew out every thought, it's going to make you look like a sissy because no one wants someone else's psychological sewage at the end of every day. Everything loses value if done too much and without context and circumstance. At the end of the day, it's your image as a confident, outspoken, headstrong man that she's missing. Get your act together and take control of the situation. Shit will fall in place before you know it.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]g0dfather93 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I believe you and hesitatingly concede that might be the right answer with some women. I lean on my wife for emotional support when I actually do need it. Like, genuinely need it - "I'd have been curling into a ball at night or flinging shit in rage if not for her" kind of stuff. I do not tell her every little thing that goes amok in my life. In fact, I do not tell her most of the things. It builds up intrigue, builds up confidence - that this man can take shit in life, and most of all when I do open up I receive unconditional, genuine flood of support and love because deep down she also know, "this shit is real." Since this seems to work for me, that's what I have recommended to OP.

Maybe I've lucked out and my girl has the emotional depth to process this. Maybe I'm wrong to share even this much. Kinda feels pointless TBH if after vowing to spend our entire lives together I can't even share the very lowest of my lows with her. Time will tell as much.

[–]theRJMurray 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Did you just recommend that he mate-guards? Lol

[–]g0dfather93 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not mate-guarding per se. What's going to happen is going to happen. I'm just saying when the odds are stacked against you and you're in low regards, it's probably not the best time to introduce your old school mate Chad who's now a 29 year old single investment banker. Helicopter parenting her away from other dudes and not taking an axe to your own foot are different things.

[–]krowitz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol. something is terribly wrong here at trp today.

[–]boxxybebe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm saving this. What a fantastic and wise answer.

[–]PlantainNationalism 37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Patrice O'neal touched on this. They fall in love with what you are then spend the duration of the relationship trying to turn you into what you're not. Then they can feel comfortable leaving you. lol. This is your face when you realize women don't tell the truth

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She always made comments about how she hated the way I was cocky, or that I was very argumentative and never admitted I was wrong.

This was a shit test bro. You failed it. Get back to your old persona ASAP.

[–]Zahlix 36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

start of the relationship: don't ever change

mid of relationship: I'm working on changing him thee-hee :)

end of relationship: you've changed

[–]ThePillAdvisor 21 points22 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I would personally think about what you would be trying to achieve by salvaging this relationship...

Some damage has already been done.

You can fix this situation with reverting back to your old behaviour for sure but she knows she can change you and will always want to continue to try...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

All women will try to change you if they’re with you in the first place. The fact that she managed to do so for some time is irrelevant, so long as OP never lets it happen again.

Or the damage is done and she did him the courtesy of letting him know where he failed. But most likely this is an actual second and final chance.

[–]ThePillAdvisor 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with boy points you make as an generalisation.

But...

Depending on how long he has been behaving like a beta this won’t be a simple flicking of the light switch to revert back to his old behaviour... he will essentially have to reprogram himself in minor ways or major ways to go back to being what he wants...

He will go through arguments because he has changed back... more so if abruptly done... why go through all that bitching and whining???

If he is trying to change back, why stay around the stimulus that made him that way in the first place? Think crackheads trying to go through rehab in the same crackhouse they smoke up lol. It’s not impossible but makes things difficult.

She’s already alerted him to how she perceives him right now... in my opinion don’t wait around to be cheated on or disrespected.

In my opinion (if you can disregard your feelings, easier said that done even for the most esteemed redpillers! You are human) break it off with her, work on yourself for a time period. LIFT! Then return to the game that we play when you are ready :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What if he just persisted longest.

[–]ThePillAdvisor 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That logic won’t prevail hahaha

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

A woman wants comfort and security. So she'll dial in on all those things that make her feel uncomfortable, like you not supplicating, not listening to her etc. Essentially she tries to betafiy you, not because she wants a beta but because she wants the comfort and security of a beta.

When you start listening to what she says and giving her the comfort she asked for, you think she'll grow fonder of you but infact it has the complete opposite effect, she start's to lose interest.

This is because comfort kills attraction. The feels are gone, she no longer has the uncertainty of not knowing how you feel about her. So she stops putting in as much effort. This is also generally the point where she'll start to seek those feels elsewhere.

If you want to keep your women inline she needs to be aware her place is not secure. She needs to keep giving you her best to stay there. This tension is the glue that binds a happy home. She treats you well, and she remains attracted, win win.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Essentially she tries to betafiy you, not because she wants a beta but because she wants the comfort and security of a beta.

But that is exactly what a beta is! A man who dependably provides comfort and security. So they do want a beta. The problem is that they also want AF but that AF and BB are incompatible. They are attracted to high-value, exciting men and when they have it, the AF side of their strategy being fulfilled, they keep pressing to fulfill the BB side. When that happens, either you accept the betaization as OP did but then she’ll get unhappy because she lost her AF, or you resist and stay AF as OP wants to do and you suggest, but then she’ll get unhappy because BB remains unfulfilled.

On the long term, either position is untenable because women’s dual sexual strategy is inherently self-contradicting.

I am not sure a woman can remain sane long term with the constant level of dread that TRP advocates for to make relationship possible. I think perhaps swinging constantly between the two AF and BB poles might do. When you’re so dependably BB that she feels 100% secure and she loses attraction for you, up the dread and swing back to AF, and when you’re so dependably AF that she feels incredibly anxious and starts thinking of leaving you for more comfort, decrease the dread and swing back to BB. Of course that swinging should happen on your terms because you “get it” and understand how she feels, not because she said it as in OPs case.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

By want I'm more dialing in on where her attraction is directed, but in full agreement.

Towing the line between AF/BB is about the best approach one can implement. It's where I've been at with the last couple of years with my LTR. I try and keep it somewhere in the middle and it's amazing how easy it is to spot when you're a bit off course on either side. Quick course correction does the trick.

Mines young so I probably lean more AF than I would need to with a bit of an older women.

[–]TheDonJuanMata 23 points24 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

So how did you find this sub all of sudden?

[–]Dude_Mon 48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A ton of people know about this sub. They just think it's bullshit, until they don't.

[–]Rapante 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, smells a bit like a troll post...

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not really. 4 years ago, (this is my second account) i was desperate to make things work with this chick i was living with. I searched google for dating advice and came across this sub by accident. Joined reddit, subscribed and the rest was history.

[–]Rapante 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Makes sense, that's probably the story of many around here. Just the way OP's post was set up seemed a bit weird to me... Like he found out yesterday and already absorbed TRP's philosophy.

[–]adam_varg 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me i knew and experienced most of that already, but wasnt able to see whole picture and so had no control.

What trp, actually rationalmale, did for me was connecting dots and filling some blanks. So there was no internalizing, no anger stage.. Just one evening and big face palm.

I doubt i am only one like this.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Rapante 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are certain groups who try trolling TRP because they are opposed to it. They can't be too obvious anymore because that would be easily spotted.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not implausible that he just found TRP or always knew and just made his first post. His girlfriend's quote is the implausible part. Girls don't actually say that shit out loud.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I thought I was the only one. A woman would never explicitly say shit like this. They are only aware of these desires on a subconscious level.

I was out at the bar last weekend and this girl with a boyfriend started talking to me. She said she wanted to go back to her place. "Don't you have a boyfriend??" I inquired, in shock. "I do, but he only satisfies the beta bucks portion of my dual mating strategy, silly. I need your alpha seed in me, like right now."

TRP Confirmed x 1,000 bros!!!!!!

[–]1scissor_me_timbers00 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy fuck that’s some black pill. TRP infiltrating the female masses and being used to justify hypergamy.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Neutral_User_Name 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are right.
She is already visualizing herself without him. It's too late. *tilt* He is game over.

[–]idrinkyour_milkshake 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Never argue with women, it's a waste of time. Just ignore them.

[–]HighTesticles 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read this for years and only now am I really getting this internalized. It is really hard to reverse the conditioning that women are like us, but they just aren't. They are more like children in almost every way.

[–]ReturningSpider 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your best bet at recovery is to make yourself scarce for a while. With a girl who flat out says this kind of thing you might even want to think about full on NC for a while

In either case, if you can manage to reappear into her life back to being your old charming self she may be willing to pretend the fragile stuff never happened

[–]bestsparkyalive 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. That’s the biggest shit test I think I’ve ever heard of yet.

Challenge accepted. Kill it man. Make her eat those words.

[–]x6x6x61982 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's is just it, the girl fell for you who you were, and you have to keep it up at all costs, besides, you were just being you. Don't change for anyone!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bit of a catch22 you're in. Either you start acting like an asshole and do what she says or keep being nice and ignore her. Yikes. Thanks for sharing.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

gotta remember this, always fall into the ego trap that a girl likes me for "me" even tho "me" is really the side of me she sees that is confident/strong/etc, and not the deep down little pussy that I actually am lmao

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course that's true. Something similar has happened to me with my ex-girlfriend: when I started to be more passionate and less cocky she decided to break with me. I think now she's with a rude piece of shit of a man, and she likes how he treats her.

TRP is simply the truth, when you break the walls around you and you start to know what's the deal with women, you are free. What I like of TRP is how men are sharing a common experience and they are finding how the real world works in just few posts.

[–]Zech4riah 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Classic "natural alpha" becomes betaized through her actions and his own feelings.

Glad you learned your lesson early enough. Many others aren't so lucky (marriage, kids, divorce rape etc. after getting sloppy and out of shape).

[–]DeadliftRx 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck is wrong with everyone pretending that OP should salvage this.

Salvage what?

The damage is done. Get rid of her. You are still her bitch and she is just waiting for a better branch with a bigger dick or fatter wallet because she knows you have no spine, now.

If it makes you feel better, be honest with her,

I made the mistake of caring about you and wanting to be a good man to and for you but it clearly backfired because you don't want that. Now get lost. There is nothing to work on, you dont deserve who I was or who I am.

[–]omen_tenebris 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Woman will literally tell you that they want a competent man, and not a "man" that act like cuddly cat.

Why don't guyz get it?

[–]jonpe87 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A girl that can be this clear... "I fell for you because you were a cocky asshole that all the girls wanted, and it amazes me how you find new ways to be more fragile every day" ...you better awake the asshole

edit

also, hate is love, indiference is hate in the pink world

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good Job man.

Similar story here, I wasn't a player like you, but I was very self-centered, didn't give a fuck, flirty and cocky. After 6 months I became comfortable and enjoyed my LTR too much, that is the biggest mistake you can make. Had a major Oneitis for her.

The moment you get too much comfortable with her, she starts to be too much comfortable with you and gives herself the permission to behave as she wishes. You lost your frame, you need her more then she needs you, and you basically powerless.

What we as men can't understand is that the fights and arguments that we see as something negative and exhuasting as we just thrive for peace, are what fuels the LTR, and watering the vagina.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. You must have a magic D for her to stick with you through your whimsy bullshit.

Save this. She’s a keeper. Go join a sports team and start doing things with the boys outside of the house. Reassert your confidence. Laugh it away as you not spending enough time around rowdy men. Go on and carry on cocky and all. Bonus points if you can find a way to tease that your temporary insecurity was her fault all along... in a poking fun at her-I-dont-care-about-blame sort of way not an actual blaming way.

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Classic example of watch what women do, not what they say.

[–]Memo_From_Turner 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I realize now that no matter what women say, they want the exact opposite of everything they claim.

If TRP had only 4-5 holy catechisms, this would be one.

[–]redpect 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Welcome to TRP, you learned, and the price to learn is to lose a girlfriend.

Cheap price, to be honest. Dump her, find your true self and next time, dont try to mold yourself to accomodate other people.

[–]Good-Boi 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She only wanted you for your market value, your value has gone down in her eyes. Don't waste your time, move on to someone better, she has literally spat into your face over your efforts

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she has literally spat into your face over your efforts

Every women will if he employs the same strategy in future.

[–]dogenes09 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The best thing you can do is start going out and looking for plates to spin. Even if you aren't actually trying. The act of reinvigorating your sexuality will not only bring back the old you she liked, it will put you in a better position to decide if YOU want to keep HER- or maybe it's time to find someone new.

[–]csawyer86 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with the person who said she sounds like a short term relationship or a fuck buddy. No relationship lasts when one person is an asshole all the time. Balance is key

[–]lunaluis 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t fix what isn’t broken.

If she’s having sex with you and still wanting to be with you, why would you change your attitude?

There’s better guys out there. There always will be. Don’t let it give you anxiety. Fact is, she may leave you at any second for another dude, that’s why we advocate to always have an exit plan.

Her being hot and getting attention from guys won’t be enough for her to dump your ass. What will is you behaving like the guys who give her attention, I.E putting her on a pedestal and being blue pilled.

Trust her actions, not her words. If she calls you an asshole or says she hates you, watch her actions. How does she say it? Probably playfully.

The way you portray your vibe and your communication with women is more important than the actual words themselves. I can have a more sexual interaction with someone talking about boring shit than I can talking about sex. The key is the tension (eye contact, manner of speaking, body language, etc), NOT the words.

You goofed up, best thing is to withdraw. Don’t just be an asshole again because she told you that’s what she wants. Let her chase you. Hang out with female friends, hit the gym more, eat and sleep a lot, get jacked, and open up options for yourself.

This is called dread game and it works. If she calls you out for it, tell her you’re busy or something. Women are covert communicators, this is why dread game works so well. She’ll sense the detachment and your abundance and start to chase you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A bitch will either give you the time of day, or she won't. She will either want you, or she won't. She will either stay around, or she won't. Trying to attract a gal, or keep her around by customizing yourself to her specifications is a fool's quest. Plus it shows the power dynamic has changed to her favor, and the minute she thinks you need her more than she needs you...your ass is grass!

[–]magx01 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

"I fell for you because you were a cocky asshole that all the girls wanted, and it amazes me how you find new ways to be more fragile every day"

I doubt this is a real quote.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

My bf is a cocky asshole like you. He used to be a guy who dates people and was never wanted a relationship. When he continued his asshole ways of liking girls photos and adding girls on social media. I broke up with him. Couldn't stand his asshole behaviour. He came back begging me back and says he'll change. If ur asshole.. how long can she take that treatment?

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol funny thing. I was always scared of losing my bf that he'll find someone else. Are you back together? How'd you overcome that insecurity? Was it self improvement?

[–]reversec 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

how old are you now and how old are you on that story?

[–]voidfactory 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If it's not broken don't fix it.

[–]Philhelm 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you were that much of a natural, alpha stud, why don't you just ditch her and go back to that?

[–]7Tomus 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isnt it logical that they fell for your original self and when you started to change then this change might not be something that they would like anymore ?
I would say that you have to change your lifestyle a bit at least since you are not single. Aswell as using common sense and not beeing total retard asshole in a relationship. But it has its limits and turning from chad into soft pudding crossed that line.

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I believe this genius' analogy may catch your interest:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KzCfIYArmQ

This is why it's important to know the theory behind TRP, and not just be alpha naturally. Without the knowledge the natural alpha is no better off than the beta. He doesn't know how he ended up in life where he is. He just lived and reacted instead of making conscious choices.

[–]bluefingerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gonna be tough for you to change yourself in this situation. You clearly have some level of oneitis for this girl. And once a woman you have oneitis for is able to break your frame, I find it difficult to regain it. It’s doable, but very difficult.

I think the best way to regain it is to find someone else who you’re equally excited about. You need that real abundance to maintain an IDGAF attitude, especially once your frame has been broken. So either start getting excited about another woman (or women), or come to terms with accepting the end of the relationship.

If you make these changes in effort to win her back, it will be very difficult to maintain frame when her shit tests inevitably ramp up. She’ll be compelled to test you to see if these changes are the real deal. And we often fall into old patterns with women we have (or had) oneitis for, even after making strides in TRP principles and recognizing our mistakes.

You really have to internalize not giving a fuck about losing her. Easier said than done, because clearly you do care. Won’t be easy but good luck bro.

[–]1AlfredKinsey 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mmm, yummy pill. Taste good, man.

It's cool that she told you straight up.

Dread game if tryna keep her around.

[–]GodOfDinosaurs 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fix yourself but make sure you do NOT tell her what you're doing, or go out of your way to make a point of it. Get your head right and let whatever happens happen.

[–]Bystander93 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. You know there’s a middle ground right? No one likes a pussy and no one likes a cocky asshole. You can be a decent person without being a pushover suck up. You need to grow up.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All the time at the start when she acted like she hated the way I was, the way I didn't care about anything or didn't hesitate to stand up for myself without fearing consequence, deep down it's the very thing that had her so attracted to me!

She was testing to see how real and solid your convictions are. She got her answer.

[–]PM_Me_OK 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha you sound like a wimp. Like you NEED a woman to be happy. Whatever works for women you'll compromise your self and your values cuz "it works." Who cares about being nice and caring cuz hey women 'like' the asshole. Thats just pathetic dude. Just like putting pussy on a pedastol but in a different way. What you need to do is stop being a pussy and find a new girl who isnt crazy. She's attracted to shit, you dont want to be shit. There's tons of girls who will appreciate you being sweet and caring. Just dont put up with their disrespect in anyway and you can be kind without looking weak.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow.

But it is great to have it confirmed right from the horse's mouth.

"I like you but I want you to change change change ....eeeewww now I don't like you any more"

[–]yumyumgivemesome 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent self-awareness. Hope you update us on how your relationship changes and evolves from this point forward.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Knowing is half the battle.

[–]EPArt 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dump her you obviously need to be away from her to get back to normal and to do that you need to start rotating girls again.

[–]FractalNerve 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting problem. I like it!

📍 You change, you loose respect and it's unsavable (long-term) or you recover maybe, but with bruises.

📍 You stay, you loose, because she is unhappy (short-term) or she cheats.

📍 You fucking move on, you win (long-term) , but may loose her faster.

So you're only winning move is to not care about her mumblings, act like she never said it and to stop talking to her asap. But to show actions like meeting girls who she may envy, to move her mind to the right track and get her hamster to do the work.

[–]dasCooDawg 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t get relaxed .... in anything. Don’t stop minding your talk, walk, dressing, physique, etc

[–]A_Clockwork_Kubrick 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Jesus, it's just too complicated. I'm glad porn exists and I don't have arthritis in my right hand. Once you ejaculate it's like a spell has been lifted. Really no point in keeping a woman around unless you just have to have one's company.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cmon this is deeper than that, love is a great thing. But this world is what it is and we're biologically wired to crave and respect strength. Being an asshole is not the answer, being strong is.

[–]bgovern 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This same thing happened to me. I had an on-again off-again relationship with a girl from highschool through college. As always seems to be factor in these stories, I thought she was out-of-my-league hot.

When I was single, I was my authentic self. Confident, in charge, did cool things, had swagger. Once we would start to date, she would slowly start to complain about things I did, henpeck me, discourage me from developing myself and trying new things, etc. Of course, I wanted to do whatever would make her happy, so I would change my ways and my personality. I turned into a cutesy, fawning, stagnant, insecure wreck that existed only to put her on a pedestal.

After a while, it would kick into high gear. She would start to distance herself from me. Not returning calls, breaking dates, being evasive with what she was doing. Then not discourage guys who were clearly trying to make moves on her ("so-and-so only wants to be friends", "I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend, because that would be mean"). Of course, all during this I would go out of my way to avoid even talking to other girls to "prove my commitment. Ultimately she would break up with me, saying that 'things weren't the same', and 'I'm just not attracted to you anymore'. I would be crushed, with (what seemed like) my whole world in pieces.

Fast forward a few months. I've picked up the pieces. I'm socially active again. Back working out. I have my confidence back. I'm the authentic, in charge, me again. We would run into each other somewhere, or she would seek me out as a dumpster for her emotional trash after another one of her poor-quality relationships fell apart. She liked what she saw again. This was the guy that she was attracted to. Of course, she knew exactly how to manipulate me, and her claws would be back in me before I knew it, and the whole cycle would repeat again.

It took me well into my 20s before I was mature enough to realize what was going on put a stop to it. I wish I could go back in time and slap 16 year old me for putting up with this. For wasting so many years on her. For all the self-destructive things I did in the aftermath of these 'relationships'. For not respecting myself enough to be myself, and realize I deserve better. I'm glad you figured it out faster than I did!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Once you’ve accepted yourself and presented yourself as a “complete douche” there’s no going back to confidence with a woman.” -Rollo Tomassi

[–]thedragonrises 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

bruh idk. yea she prob liked the confident dude you were before but tbh, a long-term girl wouldn't see you apologizing as being fragile. She'd appreciate that you're not an asshole all the time and that you can recognize right from wrong and can be sensitive to her needs. Not to dull your shine but idk if this girl is worth the long-term. i think this will break.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Brah real talk if you can't be intimate with a bitch and she wants hyper masculinity always. I'd cut her off and let her find that shit somewhere else. Too much effort. You shouldn't have to make an effort to maintain a persona. Reserve that attitude for more gainful pursuits. Also she's using your fear of losing her to negotiate attraction which you cant do.

[–]throwlaca 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was a cocky asshole, like, super asshole to my LTR. Would dread for the slightest thing. Her friends hated me, etc. Then my LTR dumped my ass because of that. However, turns out she could't forget me and some months later I get a letter saying shes terribly in love bla bla. Another datapoint confirming this post.

[–]grandmasbroach 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whoever needs the other least, has the power in the relationship. This is also why it is important to date according to your smv. If you're a 4, and she's an 8. The guy will always wonder if she is going to leave simply because he is aware she has options. Which, she does, and will most likely swing to one in due time.

Not to be a dick, but I think you may have already lost this one OP. It's clear you "need" her more than she needs you at this point. The problem is deeper than, she just wants you to be an asshole again. It goes to the core of the power balance in your relationship as a whole. So, unless you can flip that, and have a situation where she needs you more than you need her, it's over.

As Rollo says, you're better off chasing new girls than trying to make it work with an ex. This one looks like it's over OP, sorry. What happens next is a branch swing, and you don't get to find out about that until she is packing her bags to move in with him. As soon as a guy comes along that plays the dominant idgaf guy and gets her tingles going, she will most likely hop on it without a second thought. Probably best to just move on at this point OP. Save yourself the heartbreak.

[–]mrrooftops 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're fucked if you get seriously ill. Good luck.

[–]javiercer20 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s why you don’t rely on women to be happy, the more detached you’re from them, aloof of their feelings and treating them like the little whores they are, the more they will line up to fuck your brains up. When you think you being to much of an asshole is when you’re about to get the best blowjob ever.

[–]Fromfame 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Putting TRP aside for a second, I feel like there’s a world of information missing here about why you’re seen as a cocky narcissist and if I’m being honest you sound like a manipulating person off of what you wrote.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

People can downvote but I don't see how far they can be a women hating idiot.

[–]BlackCoffee88 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel your pain I’ve been there. Stop losing frame. Hold on to it for dear life. You’ve seen it before your very eyes that blue pill shit doesn’t work. You thought she might be an exception. Now you know female nature. Regain frame if you can otherwise you know what this subreddit will tell you, next

[–]1RevolutionaryPea7 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The only people who need the Red Pill are men. Women know this shit.

[–]xesup2 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When a LTR woman need you to make her feel love again, she picks any dumb excuse to cause drama. Any irrelevant issue and she throws an emotion to you, generally a conflict.

What she needs and is asking for, at that point, is for you to seduce her again.

Love is never won. Is nothing that lasts. You do not "win her love, and she keeps loving you". She loves in the moment, so you have to make her feel it again, and again, and again.

The right answer to the pointless conflict is to seduce and make her horny.

Do NOT:

  • Argue logically with her. She needs an orgasm, not a discussion.
  • Fight with her. She doesn't want a fight, she wants to feel horny.
  • Complain and make her guilty for attacking you when she should be loving you. She doesn't understand why she is picking a fight. You can make her guilty, but it accomplishes nothing. She needs to feel love, and you are frustrating her.
  • Concede what she is asking for. She doesn't need what she is asking for. She is asking for something irrelevant. She needs to feel horny, and doesn't know how to ask for it. If you do what she is asking for, you make her feel that she owns you like a child.

Women cannot jump into you and tell "make me feel horny", because they need you to seduce them, so they instead provoke you, by throwing an emotional attack to move you out of your indifference.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i don't think there's a problem with being caring/soppy, but there is a problem with being insecure, needy and weak

[–]cobalt1728 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why I take Steroids.

[–]CAPIreland 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd not salvage it my dude. It takes a long time to actually know if a girl is trustworthy enough to let yourself relax a little around. I know people on here say you never can, but you can, it just takes a while, and they need to be wanting you entirely, for longer than a college fling. Drop this girl, hell, after this sort of insult just literally never see her again. She's clearly a raging bitch, and you don't need that. If she gets mad at no attention tell her that she's proven to you she's not worth your time, energy, or attention. Best of luck.

[–]YngWn 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Give her a nice, hard, dominant fucking and never look back.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let's be honest here: you were only "in love" with her looks. Anyone ought to feel insulted when they are "loved" for nothing but their orifices and appearance.

Had she lost her looks you would've done the same thing. I don't see how any of this is unfair. You never really liked her, she never really liked you. Why do people always mix up things?

[–]Sake99 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

HELP! HELP! HELP! .... SOS

I am writing this to you because I am a naive individual guy who raised by a bunch of females in my house. I don't know how to be cocky, I'm 24/7 what you were with this girl. ANYONE, please linked to posts where I can be more assertive/cocky. These are my problems:

  1. Social Anxiety. I've it. It's very hard to convince a stranger.
  2. Whenever a stranger disagrees with me, I always jump to his point of view without realizing what I believe and say about this.
  3. I avoid fight/confrontation of any kind. I am INFJ personality type (search MBTI) and I am sick of my kindness and appeasing nature.
  4. Alhtough I am relatively calm than my people but people take it for granted and treat me like a push over and I can't help it. To add fuel to fire, I am thin/skinny.
  5. I am 25 years old and without girlfriend, I've a stable job and an engineer but the moment I want to make a move, I get discouraged, I know it doesn't make sense but I cant help it.

**Give me Tips**

How to be madly assertive and cocky and without remorse about anything?

[–]ZeroToAHundred 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Join a MMA/JiuJitsu gym. It will build up your physical confidence which will lead to mental confidence. Even doing it for at least a year will help

[–]Philhelm -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dive into your fears head first, lift, vote Trump.

[–]marksiwelforever -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re just mad at your mom

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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