~ archived since 2018 ~

Needy Behaviour in Moderate Amounts Acts as a Cockblocker

September 23, 2018

If you are non-monogamous and spinning plates, this theory isn't relevant for you.

I've been following TRP for some time and rather than confirming well-known-TRP-principles I prefer challenging the existing consensus with my comments. This time i decided to make a post regarding a pattern I've seen to repeat itself for couple of times over last few months.

The pattern I'm talking about is when the needy behaviour of a girls "other option" which actually cockblocks my pull.

The pattern is similar:

  • Girl is into me and expresses in every possible way (to keep the post short, I don't bother giving examples)
  • In some cases I've even exited the club with the girl but then suddenly she hits the breaks before getting into taxi after reading some messages or having a conversation with "someone". This is where her ASD suddenly goes up and she starts to rationalize things. The situations I'm talking about, I've been able to confirm that the origin of the messages or the call is another guy she is somewhat seeing (or actually even something more but she didn't dare to tell me that).

One TRP "rule" is that you only should txt for logistics but obviously needy messages/phone calls in moderate amounts may be a strong reminder for a girl not to ride the cock carousel with next cock she finds attractive.

So if you are a cuck who cares about a girls whereabouts in dating or early dating phase, some level of neediness in a form of "reminders" will keep her away from fucking other guys. If you are a distant dude who only texts for logistics, it's much easier for a girl to justify the next stop in CC.

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Post Information
Title Needy Behaviour in Moderate Amounts Acts as a Cockblocker
Author Zech4riah
Upvotes 26
Comments 20
Date September 23, 2018 3:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/needy-behaviour-in-moderate-amounts-acts-as-a.52640
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/9i5diu/needy_behaviour_in_moderate_amounts_acts_as_a/

[–]Rollo_Mayhem336 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They will justify either way. Why are you looking at things from her frame. When you have plates, abundance, and confidence, you don't care, you keep moving. If a girl is into you and you bang her good, she'll be around...if not, go get another one.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just delivering my observations and trying to refine it to a theory. Everyone can decide on their own if they want to make use of it or not or if it even correlates with ones experiences.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Actually, I guess this is a good opportunity to challenge the "texting only for logistics" concept. I think that rule is more of a standard than a strict rule, personally.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker36 points37 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

As a general rule of thumb, you can't stop a girl from riding the CC, and you sure as shit can't stop her from riding the CC with texts, and you doubly-sure as shit can't stop her from riding the CC with beta needy texts.

You are still in the frame of policing a woman's fidelity. This is a bad frame, not simply because it's beta, but because women are essentially children who want to do the thing they aren't supposed to do. They want what they are not getting - you provide emotional sustenance and comfort and attention, they have it from you. You are successful in the sense of maybe you can make her not want as much from her typical beta orbiters (but of course understand, you are not plugging her need for dick, you're plugging her need for validation and attention.

I get what you are saying, and it's a common idea around here - it's the "well if I'm too alpha she will feel neglected and go out and search for another dude who will give her more. Why don't I act beta too".

But see, you are acting beta all the time. A beta male going through the motions of TRP behaviors is communicating a plethora of beta traits too, so by essentially trying to at least behave like an alpha (ie, behave like you're too busy to check your phone every 5 minutes, don't validate her over text, etc) you are more likely to be on the right side of the equilibrium.

Generally, the problem is a lack of alpha behavior, not a lack of beta behavior. For example, girl is into you, you didn't make a move, you go to the bathroom, girl leaves with other dude. The problem is you didn't caveman the girl right then and there - if she is horny and giving you signs, make it sexual, escalate, take a risk.

But let's talk about the last point, because it's important for TRP to understand how girls fidelity works - the only way girls get off the CC in their prime is if you are high value enough for them to suffer FOMO for. That's it, that's the only way. No little bitch "reminders" that you are "there for her" are going to stop her when she's got better option. Women care about what's in front of them right now, it's the options they have right now - right in the moment, she's out in the club with her girls, there's a cool musician dude wanting to take her back home, do drugs with her, and have unprotected sex. And she gets a beep like "hey bae thinking of you, hit me back when you get this".

The musician has real, immediate value and there is opportunity cost to not going with him - ie, he probably fucks someone else that night, she doesn't get him, that's the end of that avenue. (Replace musician with random chode with decent game and a porsche, it doesn't matter - that dude is not an option if she doesn't fuck now, he's scarce). Meanwhile, you have just communicated to her 'hey baby, I'm here whenever, you don't have to worry about me because if you ghost me for a few days and hit me up, chances are I'll be still into you and down to date." So what's the opportunity cost to going back with local musician to check out some records? Zero, zilch, no opportunity cost, you're a fixed commodity that is there tomorrow.

Girls will justify anything if they want it badly enough, and if a guy is higher value, your text idea is only cementing in her mind that there's no real downside to going for it. She feels your neediness and it pushes her towards the other guy, by further enforcing that you're a dork and he's the forbidden candy.

All in all, you are not cockblocked by girls "other option", all girls that are above like a 4 have another option. Even 4s have multiple "other options" they just aren't great options. Girls typically always try to get the best option they can get, and in fact, girls would 99 out of 100 times would rather go for a very slim / no chance option - ie some dude they know will never commit because he's way too high value for her. The ONLY solution is to try to be an option that is out of her reach - because if you are just out of her reach, she will dump her beta options like potatoes to try to be pumped and dumped by you. It's all SMV, nothing else really matters, and generally attempts to manage women away from their hypergamous tendencies backfire hilariously. Most cucks wind up being cucked through insecure / controlling behaviors (like this strategy of yours) that ultimately reinforce in her mind that you're lower value than her other option.

A better strategy would be learning to not GAF about girls "other option" and just assume it's always there, and if she's fucking you and making herself sexually available to you whenever you want, you're the "best option" - until another comes along.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy Link

I disagree.

Needy call from a BF can turn the tides around if your game isn't on point and girl is not attracted enough. Even the sluts have some level of conscience. Ofc, if you always manage to get 100% attraction from every girl, then it won't be a problem but majority of the guys are not there.

You are thinking black and white.

And for you as well:

Just delivering my observations and trying to refine it to a theory. Everyone can decide on their own if they want to make use of it or not or if it even correlates with ones experiences.

[–]1Self-honest3 points4 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Dude you are making a lot of assumptions. It's not like you're actually reading all of these so called needy texts.

In my experience, when I'm with a girl and she actually gets a call or text like that, it pushes her further away from the caller. She wants to get fucked more and immediately starts talking shit about the needy behavior as she spreads her legs even faster.

[–]Zech4riah[S] -2 points-1 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

So what does make your assumptions any better?

We are both following our observations and they seem to conflict.

[–]1Self-honest2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Mine aren't assumptions. I read the messages and get spoken to directly about them. In your post it sounds as though you see a girl check her phone and then she flakes out of the situation, which gives you no real info. As far as I can tell, it sounds like you are inventing the content of the messages and hamstering reasons why things didn't work out.

[–]Zech4riah[S] -1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Yea, I have to admit that I wrote that part pretty badly. It certainly gives the kind of impression you are suggesting.

Situations where these happened were pretty clear because the girls were bitching about some dude they are "sort of dating" keeps calling/messaging them and then at some point the finally answer the call/message and then things go south (for me).

[–]1Self-honest0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Got it. In my opinion, you can handle the situation differently and get a more desirable outcome.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

True, most of the time the outcome is desirable but sometimes neediness wins the attraction.

[–]1Self-honest0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm saying I think your observation is flawed. It's not increasing their attraction. I've never seen or heard of that happening. Rather, you are doing something to decrease their attraction to you and then hamstering a reason that they are becoming more attracted to needy behavior from another guy.

If that was the case then why not just act super needy and change the situation?

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Ofc it doesn't increase attraction and too much neediness is too much. A little bit of it acts as reminder which makes the girl feel bad and/or slutty what she is about to do. The reminder acts as a catalyst to trigger her ASD caused by social conditioning. I guess we are not getting in the same page here.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just delivering my observations and trying to refine it to a theory. Everyone can decide on their own if they want to make use of it or not or if it even correlates with ones experiences.

Right, I am explaining to you why the theory is terrible in theory and even worse in practice.

Even if a needy call / text could successfully control her behavior once in a while, it's still a bad strategy because it won't work the majority of the time, and more times than it will help, it will push the girl away. Even if it works short term, you are essentially going to have to "pay for it" in the sense that while you stopped her from cheating that night, she still loses respect for you and is more likely to do it next time the opportunity arises.

Buying expensive dinners and gifts for girls can totally get you laid, but it's still a bad strategy. Saying "just delivering my observations and trying to refine it to a theory" to every post that is explaining why this is essentially a BP goal (trying to negotiate fidelity) using BP tactics (needy insecure behavior) doesn't magically make your "theory" magically not wrong. It's based on a false premise, which is that girls read and react to needy texts in a logical / masculine way. It's essentially solipsism, where you would react a certain way to a needy text, so you make the assumption that the girl would as well.

Again, if you don't want girls to cheat on you, the best thing you can do, the #1 absolute best way to minimize this is to not devote extra attention and stress towards policing female behavior. Short term, what happens is you successfully may stave off a single incident, but you're priming yourself for longer term failure.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I totally agree on that and I may have written the post more carefully.

The initial point wasn't to direct redpilled guys to do needy call but to understand that when you game a girl who is seeing someone, this shit happens sometimes and secondly to remind that you should throw a bone to a girl sometimes in non-needy way as possible. Altho if you are not monogamous this whole topic doesn't apply to you.

[–]LucidCunning11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

" In some cases I've even exited the club with the girl but then suddenly she hits the breaks before getting into taxi after reading some messages or having a conversation with "someone" "

I can't tell you how many times I've pulled out my phone and pretended I was using it just for image points or to get our of an awkward situation. If she's getting these "messages" last minute, there's a good chance she's a skillful pretender who is using her phone as a prop to get out of a situation while totally saving face. The truth is, if she wants to get on your cock, NO MESSAGE WILL STOP HER. Remember that.

[–]Zech4riah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, social programming matters a lot for the girls. If you haven't gotten her attention and attraction very strongly, a hesitation and reminder of her social programming may turn the tides (no matter if it's her beta cuck reminding of his existence or her friend slutshaming her not go with a guy).

There is this misunderstanding that if you are just alpha enough, you can overcome everything. That's pretty much bullshit and in real life situations are not that black and white.

[–]TheBattlingBastard3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who cares go get another women problem solved...you don’t have time to be constantly monitoring women bro it’s a waste of time get your nut and get out

[–]dani0984 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you have a really good point. Not that I would go and out right uses as a method to keep a girl around.. But you have a good point

[–]D_Sandstorm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fairly new to RP and I think you have a decent point but I don't think this theory makes much sense for someone who is RP'd. Sure you can message a girl more but doesn't that mean you submit more to her frame? Also, why would you have to cockblock? I think if you follow RP theory, you'd know that you being with her is just your turn.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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