Wake up early at 11:30 am to check if government assistance funds have come in to purchase Starbucks crypto currency for my date.
Check Tik Tok for news. Indiana Jones is labelled toxic and promotes misogyny and racism. The skeleton of Harrison Ford is to be dug up and put to trial. President Anita Sarkeesian is to personally attend and provide testimony to ensure no mansplanning occurs.
Date sends tweets will be late. Someone didn't use proper pronouns to address her. Needs to do an emergency therapy session due to trauma.
Tell her she's got a beautiful man penis. Head out.
Looks like it'll be a bit chilly. Only 86 degrees in New York. ExxonMobil scientists tell everyone it's going to be fine. Any day now, things should improve. Liberal media is just causing unnecessary panic.
Walk past line waiting to get new Covid shot and McDonald's gift card. Armed guards make sure everyone is 6 feet apart. Pronouns visible on jackets to ensure sexual orientation and gender clear on display.
Bump into a black African American woman strong and beautiful non binary person. Oh shit.
Attempt to display my twitter profile as. verification that I'm an ally, but due to my skin color immediately told to check my privilege.
Female police officer comes over and hands me handcuffs to put on myself to avoid sexual harassment through contact. Comply.
Make eye contact. Shit. Microaggression.
Attempt to recite Rupaul anthem. in my defence.
Mansplaining charges. Oh god.
Too late. Officer uses non lethal taser as guns are illegal. Only criminals carry fore multipliers.
Show up on Tik Tok feed. Get dumped by date and her lover. Too toxic and need re-education. Privilege needs to be checked. Sent to mandatory re-education camp run by L'Oreal and James Charles.
Hope next year will be better.
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