Taken from The Social Lifestyle

So my last article generated a lot of discussion on here.

Some people agreed, some people disagreed. But many people asked me for examples of what I meant by plausibly deniable openers. I initially refrained from putting specific lines on the previous post because I didn't want it to become a "magic line" which people took and used whole sale. I tried to describe as much as I could how to craft a PDO by giving the characteristics of a good opener. However it seems that the question still remains...

What does it look like?

I get it. So here I will give an example and explain what makes a good opener and what it isn't.

Example

There are many ways to start a conversation with a girl on the streets. I'm not saying straight up direct openers are shit and no one should use it. If it works for you, great! But I find that, especially in the Singaporean context, girls don't really respond well to that. So here's an example:

I was having coffee with a couple of longtime buddies of mine and I saw this girl walk by. She was cute, slightly on the chubby side, and very fashionably dressed. It was about eleven in the evening and I was really tired but I decided to go anyway. I picked out something from her dressing which caught my eye. Black and white striped top and a denim jacket. I caught up to her...

Me: "Hi, I know this is random and I have to go but you walked by me and I had to come over and tell you that I think you look like a really cute..."

At this moment I could see her eyes almost roll. It's like she'd been approached a million times already. She took one step to go around me. Without breaking the flow of my opener...

Me: "...zebra."

Her eyes lit up. She gave the "wait, what did you just say" look and smile. I smirked and she stopped and stood in front of me. I knew she was hooked.

Her: "Zebra? That's new."

Me: "Yeah. It was the first thing I noticed. The denim jacket makes you look cool though. Very badass. Balances your good girl vibe. I love it."

She laughs.

Me: "So what are you up to this late in the evening?"

I normalize it with normal mundane conversation and the occasional spikes. She is soaking it up but I can tell she's slightly reserved. She's standing there laughing. She asks me what I do, etc, etc. I find out she's an air stewardess. I tease her about being a glorified waitress hurtling through the air in a metal tube. It's good. I have to leave so I figured it's time for the number close.

Me: "Look, Stacy (not her real name). I'll let you in on a secret. I think you're really pretty and I enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to carry on this conversation over coffee. Would you like that?"

She smiles and declines. But she doesn't leave. I was in a dilemma whether to cycle back to conversation or to push for the close. She didn't look like she was having a brain spazz moment or was uncomfortable with giving me her number. She just declined while looking me straight in the eye.

Me: "I can tell you're not uncomfortable or anything. Boyfriend?"

Her: "Nope. It's just that...I've gotten approached like this before, went out with the guy, and things didn't turn out well."

Me: "Hmmm. I understand. But you know it's like they say past events are not good indicators of future events. I don't know what the guy did. But does it matter?"

Her: "Kinda." She stops talking.

I look at her in the eye. She doesn't budge and smiles politely. I roll off the tension...

Me: "Well, is there no way I can convince you to take the chance?"

Her: "Nope."

Me: "You have a nice day. Enjoy your night, Stacy."

Her: "Thanks. You too."

The conversation ended on a light note.

Now most guys would probably see it as a failure. But who cares, really. I felt that persisting in the situation, even if I would get the number, she would flake or put up a hard test. I chose it let it go in the moment.

What's In An Opener

Now before we get sidetracked, let's examine the opener. I wrote a similar opener (except I said giraffe and not zebra) in the comments section and a couple of guys misunderstood it. They thought I was just "going up to girls and calling them giraffes." While it's funny and it might work sometimes if your vibe is good, that is exactly what I am not doing. I am not calling them an animal, I am saying they remind me of one and it's cute. I then expanded it to her general fashion sense and said I love it, not "I love you"--which is what a direct opener implies. I am complimenting something she put an effort in as well as something that allows me to stack an assumption (bad girl/good girl vibe).

The opener has to suggest that you find her intriguing on a sexual level while not explicitly stating it. This allows her logical mind to deny that by talking to you, she is accepting your advances, and allows you to sub-communicate sexual interest on a deeper level while talking mundane stuff on the superficial level. And if she enjoys it, she will play along.

Of course, guys will still say. "Well, if you find her face cute. Why can't you just go up to her and tell her that? Shouldn't you be open and honest about your intent?" And to that I say, yes you should be open and honest about your intent, but not necessarily at the open. Notice how when I go for the number, I state it clearly that I think she's pretty. Also, during mid conversation, sometimes I like to spell out the seduction process in a teasing way without putting too much pressure on her. For example, if I feel that she's shy and the conversation is getting boring, I'll say something like "You do know I'm trying to hit on your here right?" And then gauge her reaction. If she responds well, I'll carry on the thread. If not, I cut it.

Everything you say has to have a reason on the superficial or subtle level. It has to bring the conversation somewhere and serve a purpose. No point standing there talking to the girl for fifteen minutes without sexual references, and it just becomes boring and safe. Forget being safe. Throw a shot in the dark and if she takes it, run with it. If not, you can always cycle back to normalizing the conversation (i.e., snip the conversation thread).

Don't mistake someone who is good at gaming for someone who has good game. Just because the girl is standing in front of you and laughing, doesn't mean that she is hooked. A majority of girls are "maybe" girls and while there is a point in "assuming all girls are yes girls", don't blind yourself to reality. However you open, if it works for you, carry on with it. The opener is just the first five to ten seconds of the conversation--it is what comes after that (calibration and vibe) that powers the interaction through.