I hypothesize that while women are instinctually driven to seek Alpha males, they are also desperately afraid of losing control, because of how they would use the control, projecting their motivations onto the man.


We all know that as driven as women are to seek out the most Alpha male they can find, they seem to be equally driven to change that man into a beta as soon as they can. Shit tests and comfort tests abound, even in established relationships with Alpha men. Now it is true that a big factor in this is the ongoing testing and retesting of the man to see if he measures up. "He was the rock I could depend on yesterday....but it is still that today?". They are constantly on the lookout for rocks with cracks; faux-Alphas who cannot protect and provide and sire healthy children. Shit testing is their way of ensuring that their man is still the man they felt tingles for in the beginning and not a pushover or pretender.

Yet at the same time they are driving to actually change him into that pushover. I don't think it is just testing and hoping that he will pass, as many claim. I think part of them really wants to change him. Because the Alpha males holds the power. A male in a proper functioning relationship is capable of seeing both sides of the relationship. You can see this play out when you buy drinks for you and your buddy this week at the bar, and next week he will voluntarily offer to pay for your drinks himself. You helped him move a desk last month, you mention to him this month that you are buying a new gun safe and he will/should volunteer to come help. A male with honor understands that a functioning relationship, whether it's platonic and brotherly with a guy, or romantic with a woman, is supposed to be mutually beneficial, and his own sense of honor will drive him to satisfy both sides. A woman cannot think this way. To a woman, a functional relationship is one that benefits her and a dysfunctional relationship is one that does not. The other party has no bearing on whether she sees the relationship as "good". Women cannot fathom the idea that a party in a relationship would, could, or should show any concern for whether the other party is being satisfied.

And I believe it is this idea that drives them to change a man. A woman knows that in a relationship where she is in the dominant position, such as a popular college girl and her myriad beta-oribiters, she is using those betas for her benefit and hers alone. When given the chance to use power to extract benefits from another and offer nothing in return, a woman will take the chance every time. Knowing this, she then projects this idea onto the Alpha male. She knows that if she were in his position, she would use that power to get everything she wanted out of the relationship and offer nothing of value to the male, so to her when a male is in that position, she expects him to do the same thing to her; use his power for only his benefit and offer her nothing. This is terrifying to them.

We already know a woman's capacity for projecting her own motivations onto others is boundless. The woman who constantly accuses her man of cheating is almost certainly cheating herself. One has only to look at a handful of profiles on Tinder, POF, or OKC to see women bragging about how strong, independent, and sassy they are, as they see strength and independence as attractive in men, so it must be attractive in women to men. All nonsense of course, but that's the power of projection. I'm reminded of something from The Lord of The Rings. The reason why they were able to smuggle the Ring into Mordor and destroy it is because it never occurred to Sauron that anyone would ever want to destroy it in the first place. As one who sees all things in terms of seizing power, his only fear was someone using the Ring to overthrow him. It never occurred to him that someone would take the Ring and not use it. This aptly describes women as well. Their instincts drive them to seek out the strongest most Alpha male. But when they find one, their fear of the man using his power over her the exact same way she knows she would use that power over him scares her, so she in turn seeks to undermine him and regain that lost control. She fears being used and cast aside because in her heart of hearts, it's exactly what she would do if she were in that position.

Lessons Learned

Plates are plates. Fuck em and chuck em. If they were worthy of more, they wouldn't be plates. But for anyone considering an LTR (not marriage) with a woman they think can make the cut, be aware of the duality of the power dynamic. Your authority is both attractive and scary. Your ability to use her for your own wishes makes her wet, but it also makes her scared you will do to her what she would do to you if the roles were reversed. Consider that in years long past, it was expected of Alpha males to be both AF and BB. The man was in complete control of his household. Women were instructed to obey their husbands and had an entire culture enforcing this. Alpha Fucks. But men were told to love their wives, provide for them, protect them, and make sure they are free to care for the young children. Beta Bux. I think that if possible, this is the best approach to an LTR. You need to walk a fine line and be very careful your acceptance of the provider role does not undermine your authority and dominance, but you should also be able to show your ability to provide. Consider why women are allergic to weakness. A man who loses his ability to provide and a man who uses his power to take away the provision is equally terrifying to a woman, for both have the same end: loss of the resources she needs but can never really create or sustain on her own as a female. Being able to show you can be both AF and BB I believe is the best way to sustain an LTR, much as it was centuries ago. How easy that is these days is debatable, but if you can pull it off, making sure both the AF and BB boxes are checked in her mind (and making sure being BB never ever keeps you from being AF) is a good long term lifestyle.