Red Pill Malaise/Existential Effects of Swallowing The Pill

May 11, 2017

This post is more for the purpose of generating discussion.

Almost all of us can probably agree that ingesting and accepting the Red-Pill is the catalyst for one of, if not the most transitional period in a man's life. Our entire outlook on the world is shaken, scrunched up and set on fire, thrown on the ground and pissed on, and it's as if we are looking at the world through a brand new pair of eyes from that moment on.

We go through the standard and natural phases of denial, grief, anger, acceptance as we try to reconcile our new outlook on the world with our own identities and live's that we've built for ourselves pre - Red Pill.

While I myself am very much out of the anger stage, and for the most part comfortable in acceptance, I feel myself unable to, on an existential level, completely submit to and derive an overarching positive comfort from red-pill realities. Consciously I can understand every single concept discussed here, observe it in every day interactions, understand why I feel certain ways, objectively analyze interpersonal relations etc etc., however there seems to be an omnipresent discomfort or uneasiness that isn't going away, that stems directly from having to accept the reality that a woman will never love me in the way I not only believe she should but feel she should - she can't love me in the way I would ever love her. That we haven't just been lied to about women's behavior, we've been lied to about what women fundamentally ARE. We can talk about how this is all blue pill indoctrination and that the true nature of women has been hidden from us, which is true - undeniably - however I can be as cognizant of this reality as possible, as I am now, but still feel an existential emptiness as a human in knowing that no matter what I do I won't be able to shake this innate desire to bond with someone who values or even recognizes me as a unique individual and autonomous human being and not simply a walking source of resources and validation, to bond with someone who's interest in me isn't based exclusively on the extent to which I can provide satisfactory feelz in her. In a sense men are simply jesters, that's all we really are in the eyes of the opposite sex.

As a result of this my emotional state has been one of almost permanent neutrality - I'm never extremely upset, but also never extremely happy. I find myself lacking motivation to do things, especially creative things that require emotional investment. I find myself having "what's the fucking point" thoughts frequently and struggling to derive motivation. I'm completely aware of why I'm feeling like this - it's because I'm no longer living under the illusion that I have to succeed in order to obtain a hot girl and have kids. I can live in my parent's basement, lift weights every day and turn out hot women for the rest of my life if I wanted. I could spend the rest of my life, broke, having sex with the wives of men who have worked their hands bloody for years in order to obtain the objects of their biological motivations - his beautiful unicorn and children. And I could steal her with muscles, arrogance and primitive sex appeal. That's the reality.

What I'm getting at, I guess, is that it seems as men we are or seem to be inescapably hard-wired to derive motivation to succeed in life from, at least to some extent, the prospect of attaining a "good" woman and building a family and passing on our genetics. The red-pill shatters this illusion, shows you that you can turn out most women you want even if you're dead broke living with your parents, that fundamentally all a woman derives from you is how you can make her feel and that your value as a human being in her eyes is tied exclusively to how you affect her emotional state and solipsistic conception of herself. You are a sack of sperm, your views and thoughts and desires are alien and irrelevant to the person your biology is forcing you to chemically bond to, you're just a walking husk of validation and resources who is, in this society, ultimately powerless in a relationship despite your entire biology (mind and body) being the way it is for the purpose of dominance.

I'd like to hear how you guys all came/are coming to terms with this feeling - the feeling of being emotionally neutral, lacking motivation on an existential level that you can't really help - if you've never experienced it, if it's gone away or you've replaced it with something else, and if redpill has made you a happier person in general. I can say I'm incomparably smarter than I was some 5 years ago, a totally different human being, but I will openly admit I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to be completely comfortable nor fundamentally happy with the state of male existence we're experiencing now and that's a troubling thought to come to terms with.

What do you guys think? Is there a way to overhaul your biology from this irritating drive to want to bond with another person, a way to shift this unconscious but seemingly constant/perpetual desire onto something else as equally fulfilling/motivating on an existential level as wanting to find a "unicorn" and have beautiful children with?

We talk about our Mission, and building ourselves into the versions of men we want to be - but the inescapable question needs to be asked "ultimately, what for? why?" and the answer to that is something that makes me uncomfortable but does us no favors trying to hamster away or lie to myself about - we do all of this on an unconscious, biological level so we can reproduce with the highest quality women and have the healthiest children. We can't escape this, it's hardwired into us.

So when that's out of the equation, what's left? Spinning plates and making money, having experiences, traveling the world. I'm all for this. But will this nagging uneasiness that seemingly comes from our body and manifests itself as "beta" thoughts, that we just try to ignore or shut down, ever actually go away in the mind of a red-pilled man? Or is it just something we have to live with. I find this fascinating.

I didn't intend for this to be a mopey angst journal entry. I do feel like other men must feel this way to some extent and at some point in their journey, and it would be helpful to discuss it.


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Post Information
Title Red Pill Malaise/Existential Effects of Swallowing The Pill
Author diomedes777
Upvotes 21
Comments 18
Date May 11, 2017 2:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
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[–]NeoreactionSafe13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy Link


The OP brings up good points.

There is a kind of emptiness at first where you seem to lose your ability to seek out the "universal mother in the sky" which is the core Blue Pill mindset.

All I can say is that Natural Law is Truth.

In a sense Amused Mastery is when you love the Truth more than your mother idealizations.

Once you gain this love it can't be taken from you.

Love Truth (Natural Law) above the polarized feminine.

Masculinity is the embracing of Natural Law itself.

We love Truth and can "break up" with mommy.


This was much easier when there were father figures in the home where you could literally make a kind of "break up" with your mother in favor of hanging out with your father who was himself a masculine role model. The lack of fathers is the true emptiness.


The Red Pill becomes your father.


[–]diomedes777[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Fantastic post, agree with it in it's entirety. It's a solid theory to state this feeling of emptiness is a direct response to the failure to embrace and recognize masculinity as being of divine importance on the same level as the feminine. We're made to feel lost and useless from the outset. There's no celebration of masculinity as being a Natural Truth, or even valued in any way. In fact it's demonized, if spoken about at all. We're raised by fathers who are terrified and insecure in their own masculinity and thrown into a world that worships not only the feminine but a false conception of what the feminine actually is - no wonder so many men feel lost and angry.

It's retraining your brain to gravitate away from the concept of the feminine being the Natural Truth as we've been made to believe, to embracing Masculinity as being the divine truth and the feminine just being complimentary and a necessary balance. It's increasingly difficult to do this when the entirety of the society/environment you're brought up in does it's best to never let you near these realizations, and it then becomes existentially terrifying to come to the realization they are purposely doing their best to keep you away from these realizations...

[–]NeoreactionSafe3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's a kind of "pacification process" where there is a concentration of more and more power into the hands of fewer and fewer masculine Alpha (psychopath) men at the top.

We talk about the 20% / 80% rule with women where they really only focus on what they perceive as well "above their league".

The globalist elites are the 0.0001% at the top and their wealth and power has grown massively while the average beta male has been forced downwards as his power has been taken away.

All our laws are designed to weaken that former bedrock of society which was the family. Divorce Rape and Child Support have destroyed the Natural Laws that once made marriage viable.

The Red Pill awakens us to the Truth of the crimes taking place upon us.

The Blue Pill is a mythology designed to destroy humanity... it's more deeply sick than just "Feminism" but that's one aspect.

Without television and the school system they never could have pulled off this Blue Pill mythology... technology has allowed nasty shit to invade our lives.

And they want to shut down all Alt-Media so the war against them is nowhere near over.

All we can do is wake up, be father figures to each other and see what happens.


[–]diomedes777[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's dumbfounding at first to wake up to what's being done to society, almost unbelievable, and then even more astounding when you realize we are ultimately powerless to it. We're sitting here discussing it, but it's still going to happen regardless of whether we're aware of it or not. It's nice to know other people here are concerned about the bigger picture, I agree with you 100%. What's the answer? How do we create a life for ourselves that is untainted by an increasingly hard-to-ignore tangible determination to crush the human spirit coming from people who view us as scum? Maybe this is the ultimate Red-Pill finality - becoming cognizant to what's happening to the world and shaping yourself/living a meaningful life in spite of it

[–]NeoreactionSafe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As people are saying your choices are:


  • Be like France and "Enjoy the Decline". Just become corrupt and perverted enough to be a total psychopath. Maybe gain a taste for pedophilia.


  • Be like Trump and "Enjoy the Destruction". He seems to do things where he makes the existing power structures confused and disoriented. Trump likes to Game the Gamers... out playing them.


You have Free Will to decide.

Just don't be beta whatever you do, the only shared agreement here is to "Kill the Beta".


[–]JamesSkepp4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I find myself lacking motivation to do things

You lack purpose.

That "she will never love you like you want her to love you" is not a reason why you can't finish a project or achieve a goal.

I do the things I do b/c I like doing them, not b/c it will bring me more pussy or love.

[–]diomedes777[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I guess I'm asking how can we differentiate between a self prescribed purpose and a biological push to succeed in order to successfully reproduce and raise children etc. I make music and have many hobbies, so what stops me being content with working a menial 9-5 for minimum wage in order to simply just survive so I could then just indulge every spare moment on my hobbies that I love? Why wouldn't I feel satisfied in that, I have to ask, because we would all feel like "failures" in such a situation, even if we have a purpose (say a master musician), but since this purpose isn't directly tied to creating a lifestyle where we can raise the healthiest children we view it as ultimately not good enough...

[–]JamesSkepp1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

how can we differentiate between a self prescribed purpose and a biological push to succeed in order to successfully reproduce and raise children

Would you be doing what you do if somehow, magically, all women disappeared? Would you be willing to say "no" to the most redpill-ideal-super-hot girl in order to work on what you wanted?

[–]diomedes777[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I know what you're saying, I'd like to think I'd still be interested in creating music and learning about the world etc., but admittedly I can't even conceive a world without women, i have no idea what we'd be doing, the thought is completely impossible to me because the reality is women exist and are a fundamental component of our existence and I can't even think abstractly without them being part of the equation if you know what i mean.

Do you feel the need to "succeed", I guess financially, for reasons that aren't personal to you? Like it's sort of an unconscious "need" to succeed but not for any specific reason you can think of? That's the feeling I have, so I'm chalking it up to a biological drive. I also have the desire to follow my passions, but this nagging voice telling me to "succeed" (make money, not for myself exclusively) seems to be stronger. Not sure which of these "drives" I could attribute as being my purpose in this case, IYKWIM.

[–]JamesSkepp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i have no idea what we'd be doing

I do. The same thing I would be doing now.

Do you feel the need to "succeed", I guess financially, for reasons that aren't personal to you?

Not really sure about what you mean by "not personal".

I also have the desire to follow my passions, but this nagging voice telling me to "succeed" (make money, not for myself exclusively) seems to be stronger.

Will more money allow you to follow your passions more or better significantly?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand very well what you're saying. I feel good to see I'm not the only one having this same issue after swallowing the pill. I'm fresh, it's been 4 days, and I'm dying inside. Couldn't describe my actual emotional state: something near anger. And sometimes, a random moment in the day, I got hit by a thought: "So I'm craving success, just because I'm a male. And then ? What's the point ?" And I start to ruminate all the things you were saying. And an existential question starts floating in my mind: "That blue pill shit was bad, dishonest, fake ... But at least I was able to live (fake) happiness, aspirations, motivation, needs, joy, ideals, goals ... But now, the redpill paradigm destroyed the facade." I'm not saying I regret TRP, but I feel like: " if at the end, the amount of happiness is lower than it was, and if at the end, there's no precise goal, why bother myself with such emptiness, why not go back to the warmth of blue pill?". And after thinking at 999 Tbytes/s, I realize that NOW I KNOW, and IT'S TOO LATE TO BEND ON.

I don't know how to feel anymore. Maybe it's the peak of the transitional moment? Maybe every man is fated to face the choice between the two pills. Maybe that's why all old men seem angry, but in fact it's their normal state. I'm lost.

[–]antariusz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The movie "children of men" is a good one for its cinematography and effects.

It also answers the question you are posed with, what would we do if reproduction was no longer a possibility. And the answer, according to the movie, as well as my own personal belief, is that the world would go to shit.

Carry out the premise a bit further and you can see aspects of the decline of society already when there is nothing but hedonistic pleasure to seek, with no possibility of long term pair bonding or propagation of the species. This is already the world we live in already.

Some men are more driven by the opposite sex than others. I've occasionally been accused on this sub of placing too much emphasis on sex/women/relationships but ultimately I'm driven to success, and success with women is just as important to me as success in any other area of my life. I stopped caring about having sex with "more" women when I reached around 200, maybe you'll find your own point where you can say "enough" it's time to find happiness elsewhere. But of course, it's easy for me to say that, I'm getting laid regularly right now, it makes me complacent. If I were to go a month, I guarantee the advice I'd be giving would be slanted in a completely different direction.

[–]zephyrprime0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

For a lot of people, just liking something is not anywhere near meaningful enough to satisfy them. They want to be part of something bigger than themselves, not just as small as themselves and their own personal likes.

[–]JamesSkepp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

just liking something is not anywhere near meaningful enough to satisfy them

Of course. I was simplifying on the assumption we're not talking about "only liking it".

[–]fstrizzy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have come to the conclusion that I will NEVER find a "good woman". They don't exist. I enter every interaction that involves a female with this in my mind. I am also somewhat of a narcissist due to being an only child and having to navigate as a lone wolf for my entire life. My Dad is a natural Alpha Badass but his life has been betafied by my Mother. I don't want to follow his path. Everything I do in regards to self improvement is to prove to myself and others that I am a superior man. It may sound conceited but it is my driving force. And I don't do it to be better than everyone or belittle others around me. That's not it at all. I do it so when I am on my deathbed I will be able to say that I did everything in my power to be great. I do nothing for the purpose of pleasing women or even trying to attain women.

I have sexual desires and I'm completely straight but I do everything for myself. Women are such an afterthought in my life. I view them as objects to have sex with and that is it. I don't think I will ever be able to fully love a woman in my life. I am sure could have a general "love" for a girl if she really made me happy but I don't aim for that at all. I know that the only real pleasure I can get from a woman is sexual. I am actually the most stable both physically and emotionally I have ever been. It does feel a little empty at times because life is not the fairy tale that we were fed as kids. I am an animal with only one goal now and that is my own personal achievements. I am actually happy I learned about all of this shit. I am in total control of my own destiny and happiness now.

[–]ideal_lemon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is a reason meditation is a very often repeated suggestion in this forum, almost second to lifting. To me it sounded like, you are in depression state and maybe not yet reached acceptance?

For your natural desire to pair-bond, I think before you do it with a woman, you have to pair-bond with yourself. When you think to yourself, you'll notice there is a guy speaking (your brain, the chatter), and a guy listening (your conciousness) , they need to bond first. For more, you can check out Eckhart Tolle, maybe that helps?

PS: Your guide to breakups helped me a ton, I hope I can do something in return.

[–]OneRedYear1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Op you wrote this.

|This feeling basically sums up the past 2 years of my life. I've essentially wasted 2 entire years of my existence fucking women, indulging in the most depraved aspect of humanity, have had every experience imaginable, with absolutely nothing to show for it except memories. That's all i've done for 2 years. I've chased pussy, partied and fucked. Over 100 women in this time, easily. Each day spent coming up with ways to fuck, putting the effort into gaming new women. Every single time I nut i'm left with increasingly, almost crippling anxiety where my life flashes in front of my eyes, the realization i've just spent X amount of hours to get to this point and now it's over and I could've spent that time improving my life, and I realize I'm chasing something i'll never, ever obtain and I'm wasting my life. I'm now at the point where I'm almost completely uninterested in sex. Going on 3 weeks now without the urge to fuck, the novelty is completely gone, to the point where I wish there was an "off" switch for my libido and I could turn it off for the next 5 years. It's fucking depressing.

What is your mission in life? Women and getting laid cannot be your full mission.

[–]soothslayer2k0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seek out the highest truths and stand for the highest principles. Then you can self-actualize.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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