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Red Pill Revelations From a New Father

April 8, 2015
54 upvotes

I am a new father, 43, who has expatriated to Latin America. I cannot say enough about my wife: traditional, respectful and beautiful. At this point, I could not be any happier.

Recently, I had a daughter (late to the game, compared to my friends). I have so many friends in the US give me advice here and there, regarding what to expect. But for me, one month in, the following has become clear:

Do not father a child in the USA!

I know there are some exceptions to that statements, but I believe it to be true for 80-90% of you out there.

Babies require a lot from the mother: feeding, changing diapers, quieting them back to sleep, burping them, cleaning them. The mother will get very little sleep in the process. My wife has taken care of all of this like a champ. She takes the baby out of the room when it cries at night, so that I will not be woken up (think about what I just said a few times, and ask yourself if that would EVER happen in the states).

I quickly realized how resentful the modern American woman would be of the same situation. She would resent that nature has called upon her to do more. She would resent that she has the milk in her tits, not you. She would resent that you are not as good at changing diapers as she is. She would resent that she could not pursue her degree in Bullshit Studies, in order to tend to the child. And on and on. Subsequently, your life will become a living hell, listening to her bitch about the biological requirements of her sex. If she is a stay at home mother, her constant emotional abuse will effect your ability to bring in money for the family. In short, her allegance to modern sensibilities will weaken your intimacy with her; subsequently, your relationship will suffer and could fall apart quite easily.

Our modern society, with its pervasive feminism, teaches women traits that run counter to effective child rearing. These modern womyn are ill equipped to deal with the requirements that come with tending to a baby, given the years they have spent cultivating their self-centered personas. I cannot fathom how many shitty mothers there must be right now in the Western world. The media will tell us that there are only "dead beat dads," but I wager that the amount of shitty mothers has them beat, no contest.

So that's my rant - unless you are going to marry a traditional-minded woman, do not have kids. Expatriate from the US, or meet a woman who works on a Mennomite farm in Wisonsin.

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Post Information
Title Red Pill Revelations From a New Father
Author MajorStyles
Upvotes 54
Comments 46
Date April 8, 2015 4:40 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/red-pill-revelations-from-a-new-father.31123
https://theredarchive.com/post/31123
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/31u7kx/red_pill_revelations_from_a_new_father/
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Comments

[–]goodguy296 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I also became a father in the past month. My wife is red pill for the most part and has always dreamed of being a stay at home mother. She also takes her out of the room when she cries, and generally enjoys doing the majority of the work, etc.

Sometimes I can't help but feel like a means to an end, though. Like I was just a piece of the puzzle of her dream. When I look at her I wish she loved me the same way I love her but I know she's incapable. I will always be second string to her babies.

I'm back in school pursuing a degree with high earning potential and to be honest when I look at the next 20+ years I'm just picturing myself as a cash machine.

It truly is a shame, because I believe that having a strong traditional marriage is the best thing you can do for your kids. I know my wife would outwardly agree but in reality, I know absolutely nothing will come before her kids, even our marriage.

I can't say that I regret anything yet, but I'm a bit fearful for our future.

edit: removed some details that might be used to personally identify me

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My baby will be born any day now, and I feel roughly the same way you do. Reminds me of the old line that "Men love women, women love babies, kids love dogs." I've heard it told as a joke, but I think it's basically true.

I think the antidote to this is that you have to unapologetically live your life for yourself. That doesn't mean to intentionally piss people off, but it does mean that you have to consider the desires of your own heart first. Man was meant to be active and productive. I struggle with this sometimes myself, but my personal goal is to find the areas professionally, charitably, and in my hobbies that I would like to excel in and then fearlessly carve out time to make those a priority. This does not exclude being an excellent husband and father, and in fact I think it is a prerequisite for achieving that status.

Despite a society that says, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"...By and large, the family rises and falls on dad's shoulders. If Daddy ain't accomplishing his dreams, ain't nobody accomplishing their dreams. A great wife/marriage can be a part of a fulfilling life, but unlike the Disney fairy tale that girls grow up with, men never find fulfillment in relationships with women alone. That comes from a life of purpose.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a one-year-old with my GF and feel the same way regarding "Men love women, women love babies, kids love dogs". It's like she's Barbie with her many accessories and you are her Ken, that comes with a car and a wallet included. If we don't hold frame, we end up as nothing more than a human ATM machine.

I've wasted many sleepless nights wondering about this and I reached the same conclusion as you - the only winning move is not to play, but if you already have a kid like me, that ship has sailed, and the only thing you can do is live your life for yourself and frankly, be the center of your own life and not depend on your woman's fickle adoration to feel complete... which is what we should be doing, anyways.

Truth is, the woman end up with her own micro-Universe, the size of your house, whose center is the kids, so as a man you gotta create your own bigger Universe, that includes the house but is much larger and encompassing, full of activities, plans and hobbies that may include, but do not depend, on your woman and children.

So I lift Monday through Saturday, have MMA, Muay Thai and BJJ classes, work as a software developer from home, work on a side business projects and live my life as I would if I were single. It does help that she's a great housewife, she cooks, cleans, helps me with my strict diet, takes care 100% of the kid where I don't have to move a finger. She's been keenly aware of how little faith I have in marriage in the US and she herself offered the idea of a prenup where, in case of divorce, she gets nothing but child support (which I would have to pay anyways). Let's see how it goes.

[–]MajorStyles[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you have reset the frame. People get locked into the this, "The baby is first, you are second type of thinking."

Filial love is completely different than romantic love, and that point needs to be continually reasserted in our culture. If filial love was so fulfilling, then single mother would not be looking for companionship.

I think you might to to take control of the narrative.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well you can have a traditional wife who fits in with RP theory and makes you happy but doesn't love you, or you have an have a feminist determined to make every moment of your life a miniature hell while siphoning money off you AND who doesn't love you.

Those are your options.

[–]eaton801 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Be very careful about the whole SAHM thing. Should a divorce ever happen the chances of lifetime alimony increase exponentially when your spouse is a SAHM. The courts always use the "she gave up her career for you" reasoning even if she had no career to begin with.

[–]goodguy291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're right. This is especially maddening because she didn't - she gave it up for herself and her offspring. The alternative is daycare and/or my in-laws caring for my children on a daily basis and I won't do that.

[–]ChristianGraysBoss1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you are a good guy, as your name states, change your behaviors. Learn how to present relaxed, alpha body language. Wild eyes are an absolute must. A strong, confident voice is needed.

You owe it to yourself to be loved and admired by your wife and children. Being an alpha will get you just that.

[–]scholarly_pimp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope someone more equipped than myself replies to this because this is disheartening.

[–]EmergencyRU4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congrats on the baby, what country are you in if you don't mind telling us.

[–]Black-Pill18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Congratulations on the new addition and finding a Red Pill sanctuary in what is rapidly becoming a predominantly Blue Pill world.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I will say though, as a father of two, I could not imagine being not part of the process--feeding the baby (wife literally could not breastfeed--it was f*cked up situation), changing diapers, rocking the child, putting back to bed: These things bonded me with both children in a way that would not have been possible if I didn't do them. Yes, I was tired as hell; yes, it was not easy, yes, I always figured it was part of my job. As part of me, they get all of what I have to offer.

Maybe part of my thinking came from very bad situation growing up; mother died when I was 9 months, father gave me to aunt to raise for a year, then grandparents...so I know what it's like not to have the bond from both parents.

If you think that children should be raised by the mother, fine. I won't change your mind. Being a father, though, is what men should be, if they have kids. Be all in, don't half ass it. They're YOUR kids, man.

[–]MajorStyles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get you, brother. Thank you for the input.

[–]TW_RPAwake3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Future fathers - READ AND HEED

This brought me back to my BP days. Our boy was really fussy - at least once a night up for feedings. My wife and I "agreed" to split the care 50/50. That meant 50% of the time I would rock him with a bottle at Zero-dark-30, or the other 50% of the time I would get him, bring him to OUR bed, and my wife would breast feed. I would then be awoken to bring him back when she was done (if I made it back to sleep at all).

Oh- Forgot to mention.. I AM THE ONLY ONE WORKING IN OUR HOUSEHOLD!!

Lessons - 1. Don't marry and bear children in the US! 2. Set frame early, and consider marriage to be TRP on "Hard" mode with only one life.

[–]MajorStyles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You made the point of my thread entirely. They expect you to do more, then they call it equality.

[–]thatguylikeaaronhall6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Which is why I shall marry a foreign woman with traditional household values.

[–][deleted] 13 points13 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]MajorStyles[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True, your have to maintain frame.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How have you handled the fact that the United States government, just like the distinguished province of Eritrea, demands to be paid income taxes no matter where you are in the world?

[–]1Soarinc0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Serious question: how easy is it to up and move to latin america?

Can anybody do it, or must you need to know someone who lives in the area or someone you can get advice from in case of shit hitting the fan?

[–]MajorStyles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Takes work. Lots of planning, putting the wheels in motion, forward thinking, etc.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]MajorStyles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Figure out a way to earn US pay, then invest it elsewhere.

[–]magus678 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy Link

My main concern with this is the child having US citizenship.

Bitch as you like, but America is still the greatest nation on Earth.

I would instead suggest marrying this foreign girl and then having the baby here, then perhaps relocating after a bit. Best of both worlds.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

America is still the greatest nation on Earth

How many other nations have you lived in?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As long as the OP is an American citizen then his child is most likely also a US citizen through the process of acquisition. The applicable laws are easily accessible through googling.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Having a baby in one country and then moving your family to another country is easier said than done. That takes as much research as it does convincing someone else to move.

Moving yourself, acclimating to a new culture, and finding a nice local girl is a better move.

[–]MajorStyles[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

When it comes to making money and natural attractions, I would agree.

In terms of culture, I would beg to differ. Perhaps 80 years ago, yes. But in post second wave feminist America, shit has taken a turn for the worse.

[–]SparkyTemper1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree. Canada is no better, if not worse. Living in Asia is one of my long term goals.

[–]hebola4lyfe-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree. Canada is no better, if not worse.

I completely agree , fellow Canadian here . The corruption here is 10 fold than in the US plus you have the 3rd wave establishing . Things are definitely not looking good here .

[–]SuperSlavisWife0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reasons not to raise a baby in the urban West (if you don't want to/can't expatriate, then at least pick somewhere rural, cut off and more traditional):

1: Two jobs required. More often than not, to safeguard your child's future and make sure you have money to save you from emergencies, both parties need to work at least a little.

2: Western women are entitled. And in this sort of an environment, even a traditional woman may turn.

3: No support group for traditional women. If your wife doesn't turn? No friends to care for the kids if she's seriously ill, nobody to talk about her day with, nobody to ask for tips and advice.

4: Education system is rubbish. If your wife doesn't beta your son and slut up your daughter, the schools will. Also, as a tutor: rote-learning, memorizing and standardized tests are not the way anyone learns anything.

5: Children poorly socialized. For all the time they spend in schools, daycare, clubs and events, Western kids are emotionally stunted, mentally weak and incapable of talking to anyone they don't have rapport with.

6: Spoilt children. Raising your kids somewhere where the poor aren't on benefits, where people use their minds and bodies to work and where they can practise all sorts of jobs for fun will result in less bratty kids.

7: No real life preparation. Under nanny schooling and being sheltered from every sign of human suffering, your kids will not come out with the real life skills they need to make it in the world, regardless of where they grow up.

8: Expensive. Living somewhere where your take-home salary is lower relative to the dollar, but where you can easily rent a house with a garden, grow your own and buy cheap goods online is surely preferable to paying half your salary towards renting a box.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

From experience....you don't have to go to a Mennonite farm to find women like that in the US. Conservative Christians are still raising a lot of exceptional women who would agree with everything you said....although few of them would consider anyone other than a high quality conservative christian guy. The christian dating scene is complicated by the fact that many young christian guys are still brought up to be betas, though. I've seen more than a few Christian women who jumped on the CC because of the feelz.

That being said....I'll go up against any woman any day on changing a diaper or calming a fussy kid. Most people hold babies loosely and the insecurity makes them fussy. There's a reason they like to be wrapped up snugly.

Fellas, game is one thing....but being able to calm a fussy baby by making them feel safe and secure is vaginal heroine. Besides, as a grown ass man I love holding babies. Win win!

[–]apachemd9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You are totally right that the Christian church pushes the beta male agenda hard. I recently attended a series of "Crazy Love" Sunday morning sermons on love, marriage, and relationships. It was all blue pill nonsense... listen to her, share her feelings, help her with chores, etc. Plus, and I have mentioned this in another post here on TRP, there is a real dearth of hot Christian chicks in America. Most are fat/ugly. The hot ones bail, and you are right it's probably because they aren't attracted to the pussy Christian betas they see around them. What a mess. It's ironic too, because the bible itself is pretty friggin Red Pill.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The hot ones bail

Yup. Then they "re-dedicate their life to Jesus" at 29 and become a "born-again virgin", and start complaining about the lack of good Christian men within the next 3 months.

Josh Harris with his "I kissed dating goodbye" bullshit and others like him really did a number on the Christian dating scene.

[–]apachemd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Totally. Now I see this "We pledge to remain virgins till marriage" crap is in vogue. While I'm not against it in principle, the good looking chicks always end up dropping out of this celibacy pact because of what we mentioned above i.e. pussy beta Christian guys. And all that is left are the fuglies, who couldn't get laid of they begged for it. If the Christian church wants to save the rapidly dying institution of marriage they need to put aside the liberal and feminist dogma of the day and revert back to the Bible's Red Pill doctrine, and start grooming real alphas again.

[–]1DRMMR764 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not very shocked that most churches have morphed into BP teachings. If a church tries to follow the bible as written, they are usually attacked for being "hate mongering" or some other such SJW bullshit. When faced with that, most are going to change to survive. And consider that most of the membership, including church leadership, are likely to have been raised in the current leftist SJW climate that has been pervasive since the 60's. Unless your pastor is 80 years old, he was probably raised to be a fairly BP Beta himself and had those tendencies hard set long before he decided to become a clergyman.

[–]apachemd0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well the church I regularly go to is in an affluent area and has a mostly white congregation. They just announced that we are getting two new pastors... a black female in her 50's and a Korean male in his 30's. They are hoping that this will bring more "diversity" and more funds. I'm incredulous. I have nothing against minorities (I am one) or females for that matter, but if your main source of revenue is rich white folks why would you do something that has a very high likelihood of alienating a large majority of them? Further down the blue pill rabbit hole they go

[–]MajorStyles[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you can meet a conservative chick in the US and protect your household from feminism, that is the best option.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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