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Redditor finds out through the grapevine his fiance was a stripper in college, /sex says she did nothing wrong

December 23, 2013


Here's some Highlights:

OP: (-1)

Her past is a good predictor of her future. She lied to me about what she did in college, she told me that she worked as a waitress to put her way through school.

I don't feel that this persona is real, that it's an act to trick me into getting married to her.


I personally don't think she's done anything wrong, but I also think breaking up might be best, clearly OP isn't OK with it, and I don't think anything we could say in her defense will matter to him.

Same commentor:

Usually I'm pretty big about honesty, what she has lied about contains nothing that would be relevant to this relationship if OP didn't have an issue with the subject.

Maybe she concealed this from you because she feared you would react the way you actually did react.

Talk to her to understand her better, NOT to put her down.

She lied about a past that is when you weren't involved w/ her. It's her past to withhold if she chooses, she may not like acknowledging that part of her past and wants to bury it.

She is still the person she was before you found out

OP (-1)

That's a silly way of looking at relationships. If a woman had an extensive criminal history prior to meeting you, is that something that's fair for her to withhold?


Criminal history and stripping aren't in the same league

Stripping is a job, she hid it because maybe you would think poorly of her which many do look down on.

OP (-1)

your argument was simply because it was done before, we got together. Criminals can reform too, it's a perfect comparison.

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Post Information
Title Redditor finds out through the grapevine his fiance was a stripper in college, /sex says she did nothing wrong
Author jobs33ker
Upvotes 49
Comments 47
Date December 23, 2013 2:04 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/redditor-finds-out-through-the-grapevine-his.9148
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1thzhj/redditor_finds_out_through_the_grapevine_his/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]atleastitsnotaids83 points84 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

All you need to take from this story and the comments

  • women have a right to lie about whatever they like

    • if she does give you the truth later, you should be honored that she trusted you
    • if you get mad at her for lying, it is a retroactive justification for her lying in the first place

And of course

  • you are insecure scumbag

  • get professional counseling

[–]I_put_mukmuk_on_face22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

if you get mad at her for lying, it is retroactive justification for her lying in the first place.

LOL! this is spot on in 100% of all cases. "I TOLD YOU YOU'D GET MAD, THAT's WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE"

[–]Endorsed ContributorOccamsUsername0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've gotten this one a couple of times. Needless to say it was some depraved nonsense they'd prefer not to be honest with anyone about.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]semigod__-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

but, but.. isnt that sexism?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, the insecure part's pretty accurate. If he wasn't insecure, he'd dump the bitch and wouldn't waste time posting on Reddit.

[–]redpilldude81 points82 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

She starts crying, and tells me it’s all true. That she was a stripper and it was so she could earn money for school. I started getting angry with her, asked her how many guys did she fuck while she was there. She said she didn’t sleep with anyone there but she did go on dates with some of the guys there but they didn’t sleep together.

Trickle truth....

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The first peeler ever that never had sex with any of her clients, you found a unicorn buddy! /s

What a joke.

[–]st4rcrafty24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm pretty sure if he prosecuted the matter she would have caved and admitted she sucked her fair share of dicks in the booths, either with or without getting paid...

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was just about to point that out. Good catch.

[–]phasetwenty57 points58 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Same commentor:

Maybe she concealed this from you because she feared you would react the way you actually did react.

Being fearful that someone will be upset with you is not a justification for deceit. It's a strong indicator that you are behaving poorly.

[–]redpill_man31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

AKA, actions have consequences. The horror!

[–]16 TRP VanguardTRPsubmitter17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Being fearful that someone will be upset with you is not a justification for deceit

You just stumbled upon probably the biggest justification for why women lie to their bfs about cheating...(followed by crying when they do finally admit it).

[–]RedditBlueit4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe she concealed this from you because she feared you would react the way you actually did react.

Isn't it amazing the number of betas and hamsters who see that reaction as evidence that something is wrong with you, not something wrong with her behavior?

[–]Endorsed ContributorOccamsUsername0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're not allowed to disapprove of women's choices, you are only allowed to provide for them, and accept all their flaws/wrongdoing without interference.

[–]MahlerNinth42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If a guy lied about his job or history to a woman and then came clean, he'd be torn apart for being a manipulative asshole who just lied to get in her pants.

Yet another example of the hamster rationalizing that comes about to defend something done by a woman, whereas it's evil and manipulative when a man does the same.

[–]icallmyselfmonster6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If a guy lied about holding hands with a girl in kindergarten , the pitchforks would be out "once a liar always a liar"and all that shit. It's always double standards with women. I have given up taken any form of advice from them.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of the absolute best pieces of advice took me longer to understand/believe in my blue pill days was "never take advice from a woman on how to date a woman". It's proven itself time and again to be truth.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe she concealed this from you because she feared you would react the way you actually did react.

Your honour, I only burned all that evidence because I knew you would send me to prison if you found it! It's really your fault, you see!

[–]elj0h01 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This analogy is perfect

[–]hashtagpound2point234 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

/sex is a cesspool. They try to preach communication and trust there, but go the complete opposite direction when it becomes inconvenient for a girl.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I love that. Trust and communication are key! Without them relationship fails!

Oh, you mean like when that cunt lied about being a stripper?

NO! Not like that! You should trust her and communicate about this!

But, she already had her chance to do that... and lied to me... how can I trust her now?!

Sounds like you have trust issues and should seek therapy to resolve your issues. You are lucky to have a girl who can see past your issues...

Wait, how is this about me all of a sudden? SHE is the one that lied!

Look, she lied for a reason... to PROTECT YOU... she KNEW you would react like this because you show signs of being an unreasonable misogynist! Seek professional help and stop being misogynistic.

[–]UnpluggedMaestro6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

*and stop raping women.

[–]RedditBlueit11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We're /r/sex, we don't judge.

Except men.

[–]GroverCleaverland23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The whole "the past dosn't matter" school of feminist thought is one of the most consistently baffling. Its like they dont even read or comprehend what is right in front of them. OP is posting because it matters. She lied because she knows it matters. So everyone in the situation knows and is acting in a way that demonstrates that her past matters, but feministas insist that a woman should be able to do whatever she wants in her past and it shouldn't matter at all.

The most utterly insane hamstering is trying to justify lying because of the potential of someone's reaction. You can only anticipate someone's reaction is you know that what you did was something they might react to. If you can't share who you are and were with the person you are trying to be in a relationship then you clearly dont think to highly of your own past and dont expect others to be. Its like not telling a partner you have an STD, or lying about it.

[–]angeliswastaken9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This situation is all kinds of fucked but what pisses me off is that the moment she left the room her friends start spilling embarrassing details of her intimate past in an obvious effort to fuck up her relationship.

Female friends. Not even once.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]angeliswastaken1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, that possible. Still, how does that even come up? And if she were a bro, she would have felt that shit out before airing all her friend's past indiscretions. I am 99% convinced she was undermining her "friend".

[–]slcjosh10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This guy is SO fucked.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He still has a chance. He's not married just yet

[–]Petrarch160318 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are so many latent damaged women out there. Its scary.

[–]autoNFA11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And of course none of them are calling her out on the hypocrisy of working as a stripper and slut-shaming women who wear skimpy clothes.

[–]lenis_pong8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's what else OP posted:

was a prostitute, I knew she had 5 guys before she was with me. Now I am starting to think these "Dates" were more than what she described.

[–]DesiAntiFeminist6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Another gem from the comments:

"Hate to tell you but you're not likely to ever get the truth about everything there is to know about her now, and not because she's a liar but because you aren't safe to tell the truth to. You showed her that loud and clear and she's not ever going to forget it."

See? It's the OP who is the problem!

[–]jobs33ker[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wooooowwwwwsieee. Merry fucking Christmas .

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Getting some money back from selling back the engagement ring would net a nice present to himself

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What wondrous truths can we learn from the internet for this Christmas season?

  1. A woman's sexual history is none of her man's business. He shouldn't ask, shouldn't want to know, and shouldn't care. Because her past behavior, and the way she sees and treats love, sex, and relationships is not relevant to whether or not he ought to love her.

  2. A woman is entitled to lie about her sexual history and withhold important elements if she believes that her man would think less of her, judge her, or choose not to date, marry, and/or support her if he knew this information. The very fact that this information would affect her man's behavior is the justification for lying -- he is wrong for being the kind of guy who lets this information affect him, and she is right for keeping it from him.

  3. Any man who would be bothered by a woman's sexual history is insecure, controlling, and needs to man up. He should be thrilled to have a liberated, empowered woman willing to let him spend money on her. If he's angry that she won't put out for him when she put out for others for far less, it's his fault for asking about her history. If he didn't know, he wouldn't have anything to be angry about, now would he?

  4. Women can change. A woman who was a super-slut a month ago may very well have a low libido with her current boyfriend/husband. Because she doesn't want that kind of relationship with him and doesn't see him in that light. She wants a stable, loving relationship where he treats her like a queen and buys her things, not a sexual relationship like her past flings. And the man is very, very lucky that she chose him for this non-sexual relationship.

What's the take-away? You can never trust a woman to be honest about her sexual history.

People lie. That's just what people do, man and woman alike. But one thing everybody is always honest about, that you can always tell about them is what they want you to think. When somebody tells you something, true or not, you can tell with 100% accuracy what they want you to believe. Independent of whether what they're actually saying is true. You can tell a lot about someone by what they want you to think.

[–]RedditBlueit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women lie about their sexual history? Who knew?

women who thought their answers might be read reported an average of 2.6 sexual partners. But those who thought they were monitored by a lie detector reported an average of 4.4 sexual partners. Women who were not attached to the lie detector, but who had privacy during testing, gave answers in the middle – an average of 3.4 sexual partners.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You DO know who she is. Her past doesn't dictate her present. She told you... she stripped for the money. She isn't doing it anymore. Your job isn't your permanent identity. Yes, I understand that a person's past can have impact on their future, but that's not always a negative impact. Sounds like she realized she didn't want to be in that profession anymore and that it left a really really bad taste in her mouth (hence all her judgments on those who are "sluts" and "douchebags"). It DID change her and it made the person she is now... the person you fell in love with.

And just because you strip doesn't mean you're actually sexual. Many strippers keep it purely on stage. And if you want to date someone you're allowed to date someone... just like dating anyone else... you're not obligated to sex.

Her hamster level is over 9000!!

It's very telling how many feminists want more than anything to be absolved of their shitty pasts. They want so badly to engage in shitty behaviours and discard responsibility, but then want all the perks of having been a responsible person. What an intellectually dishonest ideology.

I'm convinced every single one of them realizes how shitty they are as people, but they just want an easy out.

[–]abyss_of_time2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't get this "I'm a different person now" at all.

One's partner should have a right to make an informed decision about a person's past.

It IS a difference for example if somebody a) never did drugs b) consumed drugs occasionally c) was an addict living in the streets

"Being clean" must be perceived indivdually.

[–]machimus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, the bottom line is, the women's lib side can and will say whatever they want. You don't have to accept this as gospel.

I think she had an understandable, if not forgivable, reason to hide that she was a stripper. She didn't want to lose the guy she really liked. And she was right.

Whether or not he can deal with it is his problem. But no one worth listening to is telling him he has no right to get mad about it. I think most normal people would. This is what you get for asking r/Sex instead of asking your buddy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stripping is a job, she hid it because maybe you would think poorly of her which many do look down on.

This is where hypoagency comes in. SHE KNEW THIS BEFORE SHE BECAME A STRIPPER!!! But women aren't held responsible for their actions...

the poor victim of financial situations was FORCED into stripping to pay her way through college! /s

[–]DesiAntiFeminist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The OP writes: "Now excuse me, I don’t mean to talk down to strippers. But from my knowledge they see men as a ways to an end."

He knows the truth about strippers. He'll some day find out it is the truth about ALL women.

[–]GushyWetWet151 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing new to see here, r/relationships and r/sex give me fucking cancer everytime I read all their bullshit. Here's a tip though if you want to be successful with the opposite sex you make sure you do exactly the opposite of whatever those 2 Subs tell you to

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All sexxit wants is for straight guys to give blowjobs while women watch, then celebrate that woman's decision. What a scummy place.

[–]trpalternate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honesty is crucial to maintain a good relationship. ESPECIALLY when it concerns sex lives and the past. I don't see why people can't understand this.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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