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Rejection, and why you need to seek it

July 8, 2017

Mainstream pickup advice will try to tell you that there are ways to attract all women, all of the time, if you just say the right thing or perform this one magic trick.

Hell yes, even if you're fat slob living in your parents' basement, if you just repeat these two phrases, you'll instantly bed lingerie models. Like there are lingerie models hanging around on every street corner.

This is a validation-seeking paradigm that will ultimately hurt you, because you're attached to an outcome that you have little-to-no control over.

You'll psychologically whip yourself to death, because you'll constantly feel like it was your fault when a girl rejects you, and ruminate over every little 'mistake' you make. "Oh man, why did I say that! Why did her hold her hand at that point!"

Not counting your mother, family, or children, no woman alive is worth that much suffering. I don't care how special you may think she is, there's always someone just as special.

Whenever you feel anxiety over a girl liking you, what you're actually feeling is fear of the truth being reflected back at you, that you're an unattractive soft guy.

Let's pause for a moment and think a bit more analytically about male attractiveness. In his book Models, Mark Manson proposes a new way to measure it:

  • Your attractiveness as a man is determined by how non-needy you are

  • Your non-neediness is expressed by you acting with vulnerability

  • You act vulnerable by being completely honest with yourself and others

Now if we take that last part, showing your honest true self with women, by that act alone, your attractiveness as a man will increase.

As an aside, you must also take away the fact that you will feel a lot more relaxed in your social interactions, because you are no longer performing. Most attraction-based dating advice is actually performance-based, which is far more stressful and is at its core dishonest.

Now if you express your truth with women, expressing opinions that she may disagree with, blurting out things that you normally would have thought but never said, and telling her when you disagree with something she says, and tell her unconditionally that you think she's pretty and you want to date her, you're in a much more maintainable position.

If she becomes receptive to your expression, then great! Escalate physically and go from there. You'll enjoy a much happier relationship with her because you're actually expressing your truth, and not copying what some YouTube loser told you to say or perform.

If she rejects you, you have also succeeded. Why? Because if you've shown your true self to her, and she still doesn't want to continue the interaction, she's shown you a key thing.

Why would you want to dedicate time and effort to a person who doesn't appreciate you? If the interaction developed from there, it wouldn't have worked out well anyway.

Have some self-esteem and strong boundaries. There must be no discernible difference between your thoughts and your spoken words.

I find that a lot of guys act more relaxed and, without knowing it, attractive around the 50-year old secretary at their office, than at the clubs and bars, where they mumble their words and fumble around buying girls drinks. Do you know why? Because you don't give a fuck about the interaction and are just having fun.

If this fundamentally feels wrong to you or makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to ask yourself some hard questions. Do you feel like you are 'enough' as you are? Do you feel like you have 'attachments' as Dr Robert Glover calls them? By that, I mean do you think if you weren't fit, if you weren't smart, if you didn't have a degree, you would still be worthy of attraction?

Otherwise, I suspect you subconsciously feel like you aren't worth the attraction of girls, and therefore you feel the need to perform, because if you were truthful and expressed your honest self, you would be rejected.

Mark Manson calls this strategy of embracing rejection "polarisation." By being truthful about your thoughts, you are forcing her to make a decision about you. To save the two of you time, you must polarise her as quickly as possible. Don't hesitate, blurt. Make non-sequiturs, they're much better than an awkward question to break the ice. Sound stupid? Then laugh at yourself. Have fun. Live in the moment.

If you think you're inviting a mountain of rejection onto you, you'll actually be surprised, because most women will at the very least appreciate your boldness, and more often than not she'll be attracted to that.

Rather than focusing on an outcome that you have no real control over, instead see the interaction itself as the goal. Approach the situation with the mentality of "I hope she's right for me, and will be worth me going over to talk to."

Forget lingering outcome-dependent thoughts like 'we need to kiss at some point', instead maximise your fun and her's in the present moment. That's what she's going to be attracted to more, that's what's going to make her feel a net gain in fun and happiness by being around you. That's what's going to get her out on a date with you.

To truly destroy lingering outcome-dependent thoughts like the one above, think about how they serve you? They don't. I'll repeat this again, whenever you feel thoughts like that, forget them and instead return to expressing your truth and maximising your fun and happiness in that present moment.

And if she still rejects you, you've still succeeded. You've achieved more success than the mainstream pickup advice can ever promise you.

By embracing rejection, by seeing rejection as your friend and not something to be afraid of, you'll feel much more relaxed in your interactions with women, and ultimately save yourself and her a lot of time and unnecessary effort.

TL;DR: Rejection is your friend. Don't avoid it or fear it, seek it. Be truthful. Polarise. You'll be happier with the results, and you'll both be saved a lot of time.

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Post Information
Title Rejection, and why you need to seek it
Author newls
Upvotes 123
Comments 53
Date July 8, 2017 11:28 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/rejection-and-why-you-need-to-seek-it.44538
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6m0hw1/rejection_and_why_you_need_to_seek_it/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]1empatheticapathetic26 points27 points  (28 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, I used to be this person and found TRP because vulnerability doesn't work. You said "if the girl doesn't want you, you win". What if no girl wants you because they don't like to see vulnerability? In fact they don't want you to break frame ever.

I ended things with my pre TRP oneitis by saying "was cool to meet you. I had a great time X night and had a good day just hanging on Y day" blah blah. That was not attractive to her. Those things are better left unsaid because 'game' is more attractive than a boring standard dude who just enjoys her company. She wants games, drama, DREAD. Otherwise she'll create it herself and use you for her amusement. Maybe not if you're Chad but how many people here are Chad?

Don't conceal your intentions sure, but don't show her your vulnerability.

[–]newls[S] 22 points23 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Any time you're using the language of things 'working' or 'not working', you're outcome-dependent and therefore needy.

If no girl likes you, you've won because you've found out that you're doing something clearly wrong. You're presenting yourself poorly, your body language is weak, your lifestyle could be anti-social and boring, it could be anything but it's a clear signal that there's something to improve.

[–]1empatheticapathetic4 points5 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you here. But my point was in my experience the moment I kept going wrong was due to displays of vulnerability. I wouldn't consider things going 'wrong' unless they were going 'right' in the first place.

Neediness is a vulnerability. But you can't simply quench neediness in an area like this until you experience some success, therefore hiding your vulnerability until it is no longer a weakness to you. "Faking it until you make it", which is game.

Vulnerability can be an asset to game or a weakness depending on how it's utilised.

[–]newls[S] 7 points8 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Okay I see what you mean. Blurting out "I've always wondered about whether Hitler was right, oh and I dreamt about licking Saddam Hussein's ball sweat last night" because it's the first thing that pops into your mind is gonna unnecessarily fuck things up with a girl who does click with you.

That was an extreme example though so to be fair I'll try to explain my reasoning in a more grounded way too.

You need to temper the level of disclosure in stories you tell, as well, and control the intention and tone behind the story. It's best not to go too deep and heavy early on, for obvious reasons.

Telling her about that one time you got a drink thrown in your face from the angle of a fun tone like "it was embarrassing but in a way super funny looking back on how awkward I used to be" versus a whingeing tone like "all girls are stupid and should appreciate me."

Girls seem to have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff, they communicate based on feelings and intention and if your intentions involve crying on her shoulder with sob stories, she'll be turned off, yet if they're framed with genuine humour she won't be so turned off.

[–]1empatheticapathetic8 points9 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

No bro i think you've misunderstood me.

I will give examples from my oneitis that has happened in reality.

I said things like "hey I'll see you soon ;)" after a date, and that killed the question for her "does he want to see me again?" I was predictable and removed the mystery.

I said "I had a good time that day", killing the mystery whether she impressed me or not.

I explained that my phone charger was broke and that was why I hadn't text very often, killing that wonderous anxiety she should have had thinking about why I hadn't text.

I told her I liked her, that was vulnerable of me. Instead of rewarding it she went and met someone else more exciting THAT NIGHT because I was incredibly boring by showing her my vulnerability.

Vulnerability is the antithesis to game in this context.

Now a useful application of vulnerability could be showing empathy towards a tragedy to show empathy but TRP states even that can be perceived as a weakness. Why do you think women shit test? To check you are strong enough and any vulnerability is perceived as a weakness.

[–]newls[S] 1 point2 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

Yep I think the key there is tension, like you say you've got to temper it with at least some level of uncertainty. They need some level of emotional tension, either positive or negative, to feel attraction. I've made that same mistake myself.

I see it's tough to reconcile the two things. That kind of attraction-based strategy needs to be combined with the emotional connection-based strategy of vulnerability and increasing disclosure.

They won't sleep with a man unless there is some level of emotional intimacy. Otherwise she'll feel lkke a slut. The tension aspect and the boldness of vulnerability make her want it, and the intimacy makes sure she actually connects with you in some way.

[–]1empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

I am still bitter about the level of 'slut' I have been deceived by women in the last few years so I don't completely ascribe to the notion women need a huge emotional connection; they like feeling like a dirty slut. It's exciting and socially acceptable and they have the hamster to justify any actions taken.

Can you give me some examples of vulnerability you have successfully used in part of your application of gaming women? I'd just like to know some actual examples of what you mean so I can get on board.

[–]RandalJulian2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

An example of vulnerability would be simply talking about your real opinions on a subject, not your filtered opinion that's leveled off to suit the tone of the conversation. Telling her why you approached, or at least alluding to the fact that you are interested in her, is being honest and truthful while not totally smothering her like your texts. I think that you misunderstood his use of "vulnerability." He simply means, from my understanding, that you need to express your actual thoughts and opinions as they come. WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER. <br> If she mentions something and you think of some crap from your life that relates and then shovel it away into the back of your mind for whatever reason, that's not being vulnerable. That's hiding yourself and it's clear that people who hide themselves and their opinions do not believe that their opinions are worth saying. And that is something that you don't have to think about. When someone speaks up quietly like they don't even want to be heard, no one fucking listens. -- and this is what it comes across when you try to 'maintain frame' and shit in person when its not natural to you. you're making shit up as you go and its clear you don't have a grip on anything that you're doing. Because we already know that you don't believe the shit that's coming out of your mouth just by the way you are talking, so why should we bother to listen? That is the image you portray when you are filtering opinions and looking for the "right" things to say, which it seems like you are guilty of doing. --- that being said, you can be yourself all you want while you are with her. it's charming. when you are speaking freely about whatever you want and not trying to please or do "whats right in TRP" yada yada, you're present and honest and so your body language will have a strong connection with what you are saying, no matter what you are saying, its coming out smooth. you could admit that you played WoW since you were 12, as long as you're being honest and careless, you could weave that into a charming "hey today I learned this about him" play. this is much better than maintaining frame while being a creep. IMO don't try to be a sauve TRP god until you can tell a bitch her hair looks dumb and straight face it. she won't see much honesty if she's hot. she'll see guys trying to say everything right. -- but when you are not with her, you dont have to fucking text her little sweet nothings about how much fun you are having, thats the easiest way to talk a girl out of fucking you. be honest in person, do your thing, be you, if she don't like it, NEXT?!? but if she does like you, dont talk her out of it with prissy affectionate texts. thats where u need to actually holster the "honesty" until you actually get to aplace where you have so many texts coming you could care less-- common advice in the pickup scene is that phones, texts, messages are for setting up appointments. not chit chatting and being their friend. thats how you get cucked. END

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't know who you think I am but you seem to have made some character up and filled in the gaps to what you think you know about my experience and opinions based on that. Your comment is quite all over the place.

The bottom line vulnerability here is part of your wider game. It can be used successfully and unsuccessfully. It is not some magic tool that works 100% of the time regardless of what you say because "it's who you are". That's a blue pill idea.

For the record I am very open, brash, I say what I want whenever I want while being mindful of how certain people might perceive me (don't say stupid things at work; being mindful of people's feelings). I'm lucky I have no issue with this, it's how I've survived and made strong connections with people. But controlling that 'skill' is part of your game.

In this case I wasn't texting her sweet nothings constantly. I was telling her in person what I thought when I felt it. "I enjoyed that." "That was fun". I wasn't over doing it. I was just telling what I enjoyed and that she was a part of it. I believed I would be rewarded for my vulnerability but that wasn't the reason I said those things. I just said them because I've always communicated like that.

But it turns out that communication like that isn't 'good game'. Telling her why I approached isn't necessarily good game, it removes mystery. Telling her I play WoW and being proud of it isn't going to be a magic bullet because it's vulnerable, it should be utilised if it is good game for this particular moment or not.

Some girls will think it's a deal breaker because of their perception of people who play that game. Some won't care. Some will like it. In my case I should have refrained from telling her how much I enjoyed her company because it made me look needy. Good game is creating a good perception of you. We learn here she runs on feelings, not logic.

Hiding certain things isn't a bad thing for the longer term positive benefits it might have. You can't communicate like a friend to her, as you said in your comment.

Personally I can't lie about shit and make it look authentic, I just can't do it; the morality is irrelevant. So not overly communicating is a better play for me, which is a mainstay theme of this forum.

I learned this lesson hard with that girl, and I'll never make that mistake again because of how brutally communicating my feelings backfired. Thanks for your comment.

[–]newls[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's just a matter of showing that you're willing to risk rejection, which in turn shows your low level of investment in the interaction.

It can be as inane as disagreeing with her, or sharing an unpopular opinion.

One time a girl told me she her favourite gym was X, I told her I hated X gym, telling her about an experience I had there.

One time a girl was late, I told her I don't like it when girls are late for dates and she apologised for being so flakey.

Vulnerability isn't being soft and surrendering to her opinion, it's about expressing your honesty and in turn displaying your low level of investment.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have absolutely no issue doing any of those things whether I'm getting laid or not. That doesn't mean vulnerability to me at all; that's holding people accountable. Vulnerability to me means throwing something personal out there in the hopes it will have a positive impact but risking the negative impact it might have. Hoping to forge a stronger emotional connection by showing a bit more of who you are.

[–]newls[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think they're all sitting on different grades of the same spectrum. An example I've talked about on the heavier side of the spectrum is when I got laughed at in French class and she connected with that very strongly. On the flip side that story made me look like an unpopular loser to some girls, but I'm not interested in those girls. I've also talked about how my grandparents deaths made me appreciate life more, and no doubt some girls have connected with that more than others.

[–]PremixedBox0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

You want examples of being vulnerable? Tell a woman/girl a fear that you have. Seriously, it works. For instance, I'm deathly afraid of spiders. I'm not faking my genuine fear of arachnids. So when I tell a girl this, I'm being completely honest and genuine which is reflected in my voice, body language, etc. But there's a fine line between being a little vulnerable and throwing all your cards on the table.

Remember, you're supposed to be a woman's rock. Don't go overboard with your vulnerabilities or insecurities (otherwise you won't be a rock in her eyes anymore). You don't want to be like Monk (watch the TV show and see what I mean) and you don't want to be a robot. Also, be aware of the social situation (because sometimes you cant tell a girl your fear of the 8 legged creatures from Hell). Hope this helped. :)

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I think you and OP are likely more suited for a different forum. TRP states quite explicitly that showing a vulnerability like that is straight up weakness and unattractive. Ideally you are some impossible rich Chad superman, and every little thing that you lack in is a drawback from that idealistic possibility. Why would you ever willingly show a weakness unless it was a complete non issue. Arachnophobia is not something to be proud of because dealing with spiders is a standard regularly occurrence for most people, and in reality, being afraid of spiders is just weak. I too am afraid of spiders FTR.

You gain no points by openly admitting it. It in fact shows you are naive by admitting weakness to someone who can turn on you. She wants you to be a cunning manipulative leader who she can hopefully convince to protect her long term.

What you ARE doing by showing a vulnerability is showing her she has a chance at controlling you and using you. Your boundaries show her where that starts and ends.

[–]fromthecrypt82 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

After having read this comment thread, I have to say I agree with you. For me personally, displaying true vulnerability in any form has never been a good thing in my interactions with women. And I dont see revealing a fear of spiders or heights to be display of true vulnerability.

I think perhaps OP labels it wrong, because I do agree with what I think he is trying to say about not being attached to outcome. But actively showing vulnerability with a woman is a straight up precursor for drying up her snatch.

Women are always more attracted to strength and solid frame than any amount of ever so neatly timed vulnerability. It's like this: Yeah, don't be attached to outcome, but still implement what is most likely to make her wet for you. You can still be non-attached to outcome without showing any vulnerability.

[–]PremixedBox0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's completely my choice whether or not I tell someone my phobias or not. In the past, it has worked for me. I'm not proud of it either, I was just using myself as an example. Again (as stated in my previous post), this completely depends on social situation and the environment you're currently in. Furthermore, I don't go up to every random girl I know and say I have a fear towards spiders. While you might see showing vulnerabilities as a weakness, I see it as a way to get the girl to think "Wow. This guy is being honest with me and he actually has a person underneath him." Which plays on women's desire to "fix up" their men. Women want a man to control and I'm playing on that desire of theirs. I'm not going to let them change me nor am I going to change for them. We might not see eye to eye, but I do respect your opinion even though I don't agree with it.

[–]RandalJulian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well these things are simply texts that you shouldn't be sending. IMO you can follow the "vulnerability" advice in this post and not dent your game, as long as you aren't sending reassuring text messages afterwards.

if you told her you liked her in person, that's bold dude, no way that turns her off. if you told her you had fun last time in person, great. she still felt the suspense for each and every moment before you met again. telling her your phone charger was broken is overall a pretty shitty play TBH, but even then, as long as you aren't making this play in attempts to avoid dissaproval or please her, which its clear you were, they are not going to prevent a girl from being attracted to you IMO.

[–]487563945739020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

hey I'll see you soon ;)

I had a good time that day

That doesnt feel very vulnerable to me, you are only indirectly implying an emotion. If you arent afraid to say it then you can almost guarantee youre not being vulnerable. Dread and drama at least are engaging, theyre much closer to a real emotional connection than the anhedonia of "I had a good time" and if theyre the best you can supply then she will make do, but dont fool yourself into thinking thats your peak performance. Youll get higher quality women with vulnerability. And by higher quality I mean the ones you next before youve gotten their number because they arent showing IOIs. Dont you ever wonder who they save their IOIs for? And who they permit escalation with?

[–]2virusofthemind0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Vulnerability is weakness that shows the woman that she is of a higher value than you by the very fact she has created an emotion in you. I think what you are saying is that you should show invulnerability by not caring whether you're rejected or not.

When a guy does this he's demonstrating higher value and status than the woman (which gives her the tingles).

[–]newls[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, vulnerability is the willingness to risk rejection through brutal and unabashed honesty. It shows higher value because you're ok with who you are and your non-neediness. You display a lower level of investment than in her the interaction.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh fuck dude, you missed the point. Vulnerability is only attractive when who you are at your core is non-needy. When you've ironed out your own life and have the confidence which follows that, projecting your true self in a state of vulnerability is exactly what women want. What women DON'T WANT is a needy boy being vulnerable because who you are as a needy boy, is just that, a needy, vagina drying baby boy. Your showing her who you are. If who you are is truly confident and complete, she will jump on you and ride you out of town. If who you are is a beta boy, she will appreciate your honesty but ultimately reject you for a man. Game or faking alpha traits is for boys who haven't ironed out their life and achieved contentment. This is why trp advocates actual improvement before learning pick up skills. You might trick her long enough to get in her pants, but when she finds out you're an actor, she'll be repulsed and drop you like a fly.

[–]newls[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly, right on. It's the willingness to risk rejection because you're non-needy enough to not be attached to any outcome from the interaction. The goal of the interaction is to see whether she's good enough for you, you're the prize not her.

[–]ATrashMan4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Can you explain this better to me please? Let's pause for a moment and think a bit more analytically about male attractiveness. In his book Models, Mark Manson proposes a new way to measure it: Your attractiveness as a man is determined by how non-needy you are Your non-neediness is expressed by you acting with vulnerability You act vulnerable by being completely honest with yourself and others

especially the last 2 statements. I am still not 100% how to understand that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So, needy and non-needy is determined by a man's degree to which he is content and confident in who he is. This is red pill number one. This is what improvement is for. It is achieve a state where you are content with your life and your mission or goal progress and don't depend on anyone (or at least minimally) for your contentment in life. Number two: once you've achieved a relatively non-needy lifestyle and you're confident, it follows that getting rejected by someone doesn't really matter because you've already ironed out the essential components of your life. You're not looking to her to make you feel complete. So, the vulnerability comes in as a way to screen women to determine if they resonate with you. Let's be honest, there are some women, although they might be attractive physically, their personality is utter shit. So being vulnerable, ie showing your true self, desires, intentions, emotions etc. Expedites this process of screening. There is no point in wasting one second of your life building any relationship if the other person isn't congruent with your life, goals, mission, out look and so on.

This is why trp advocates for self improvement. Self improvement is, at its core working towards becoming non-needy. You're working at constructing your life in a way which covers all the bases. Expressing or pursuing your passions, earning good money, having good health and a masculine physique. These things are universal for all men. When we have these things sorted out to a certain point, we become secure with who we are. This is confidence and this is non-needy. Once this state is achieved, displaying your true self to a women will ignite her soul because you are a real fucking man. Your confidence is genuine and she can feel it; she know it.

[–]newls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah you've put it very well there.

You advance your genuine non-neediness through continuous self-investment. And you must do it for you, not the promise of greater attractiveness.

[–]iamneptuno0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're overthinking this. As a male, your attractiveness is determined by the females that are attracted to you. Period.

On a side note, Models is mostly retarded.

[–]ATrashMan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

why do you find it retarded?

[–]iamneptuno0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a long story, but in the nutshell:

1) It denies hypergamy.

2) It contradicts itself very hard; it first says that it's all about non neediness (which is bullshit itself), but then it says that it's all about losing your head so you can't even control yourself (which is supposedly why females fantasize about rape).

[–]refusewool points points [recovered] | Copy Link

You should aim for 5x 'No's a day rather than 5x approaches

[–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. The idea is not to seek rejection, the idea is only not to fear it.

[–]carnesaur0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well more of what hes saying is you have to seek the final answer which is either going to be attraction or rejection. Most of us"know" that shes gonna reject so we don't even try to make a move. By seeking the final answer you familiarize yourself withthe situation, which leads you to no longer fearing it.

[–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, this I agree with, if by "know" you mean "expect". I also believe that expecting rejection is a problem itself to be overcome.

[–]refusewool points points [recovered] | Copy Link

How do you stop fearing it? Grow accustomed to it via exposure

[–]NakedAndBehindYou points points [recovered] | Copy Link

There are other ways to get rid of fear.

[–]PM_ME_UR_TECHNO_GRRL1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exposure to situations in which you might be rejected, yes. That is different to seeking rejection.

Baseball players are good examples. You don't step up hoping to strike out. But you have been to the plate so many times, you don't fear striking out anymore.

[–]newls[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point. But I think for a lot of guys with consistent dating failures they just need to be more social. If they go out and just trying talking to more people, and expanding their social circle, and stop being so thirsty, that alone minus any dating advice will result in more opportunities with women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aim for 5x interactions where you expressed yourself honestly. If you get rejected, she saved you both time. If she digs you, it sucks because now you have to decide if you like her. It's a drag, I know.

[–]freakycloud2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I am not a Red Piller but can confirm. Being rejected in highschool was an amazing feeling AFTER the fact. I felt free and unstoppable once the enormous weight of the unknown was lifted. So much so in fact that each time I was rejected I would immeadiately ask another girl out the same day on a whim. Cuz fuck it why not.

[–]newls[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have experienced that myself too. You realise that being rejected by your once-oneitis isn't actually the end of the world, and the release of the anxiety is a weight off your shoulders.

[–]freakycloud1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. All the anxiety is a series of thoughts that escalate in scope and seriousness till they cripple you.

Man shes hot. And funny and nice. I gotta ask her out. She could be "the one". Fuck what if I mess up. What if this what if that. Makes you batty thinking about it.

And being rejected just gets rid of it all. its wonderful

[–]TheMaleFrame2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've been applying this idea in all aspects of my life, especially at the workplace. It is much enjoyable when you can say whatever is on your mind rather than stressing over saying the right thing in order to gain everyone's approval (or as you say, being outcome dependent).

When given the opportunity, don't take the path of least resistance and stop trying to please everyone.

[–]newls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah exactly, a life lived with integrity is a much easier and fruitful life in my experience.

[–]for_cris2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's how I put it: I like rejection. It tells me where no to go and puts me on the path plentiful.

[–]norcalguy5100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You dont seek rejection, you seek progress. You know whats up. But clickbait af.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone just read Models by mark Manson. That book is a fucking staple. If you're reading trp and haven't read that book, do it now.

[–]drannigan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Very true and clearly expressed. Thanks.

[–]DSetupDTitleDMenu0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You want rejection? Go outside and try to pick up chicks.

I kid, I kid. But don't you think everyone's been rejected a dozen times over here? There's a reason why the red pill is a thing, y'know.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

but they're being rejected for doing the opposite by seeking approval or even indifference or neutrality. Basically they're afraid of saying the "wrong" thing so they dont take chances.

[–]TRPConfederate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Should I apply this advice in non sexual scenarios, with female superiors in the workplace?

[–]chadmarco0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, "no game" game. Definitely not for the desperate because its an honest assessment of who you are. That's why I never get laid XD

[–]iNeTriWenTd0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice TRP post, you have got the point. Following your truth and acting always according to it makes you the best version of yourself at that moment. Borrowing "maxims" from "successful" people /Napoleon Hill, D. Carneige etc./ might get you popular, might get you rich but it will get you far from your true nature and therefore you will end up discontented, inevitable. Follow your nature, your instincts and you are going to grow, that is why rejection is a true success, but do not forget: it needs the right context: you have to act on your own behalf.

[–]newls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happiness is proportional to the synchronicity between our heart and how we live our lives.

[–]iNeTriWenTd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice TRP post, you have got the point. Following your truth and acting always according to it makes you the best version of yourself at that moment. Borrowing "maxims" from "successful" people /Napoleon Hill, D. Carneige etc./ might get you popular, might get you rich but it will get you far from your true nature and therefore you will end up discontented, inevitable. Follow your nature, your instincts and you are going to grow, that is why rejection is a true success, but do not forget: it needs the right context: you have to act on your own behalf.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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