Mainstream pickup advice will try to tell you that there are ways to attract all women, all of the time, if you just say the right thing or perform this one magic trick.
Hell yes, even if you're fat slob living in your parents' basement, if you just repeat these two phrases, you'll instantly bed lingerie models. Like there are lingerie models hanging around on every street corner.
This is a validation-seeking paradigm that will ultimately hurt you, because you're attached to an outcome that you have little-to-no control over.
You'll psychologically whip yourself to death, because you'll constantly feel like it was your fault when a girl rejects you, and ruminate over every little 'mistake' you make. "Oh man, why did I say that! Why did her hold her hand at that point!"
Not counting your mother, family, or children, no woman alive is worth that much suffering. I don't care how special you may think she is, there's always someone just as special.
Whenever you feel anxiety over a girl liking you, what you're actually feeling is fear of the truth being reflected back at you, that you're an unattractive soft guy.
Let's pause for a moment and think a bit more analytically about male attractiveness. In his book Models, Mark Manson proposes a new way to measure it:
Your attractiveness as a man is determined by how non-needy you are
Your non-neediness is expressed by you acting with vulnerability
You act vulnerable by being completely honest with yourself and others
Now if we take that last part, showing your honest true self with women, by that act alone, your attractiveness as a man will increase.
As an aside, you must also take away the fact that you will feel a lot more relaxed in your social interactions, because you are no longer performing. Most attraction-based dating advice is actually performance-based, which is far more stressful and is at its core dishonest.
Now if you express your truth with women, expressing opinions that she may disagree with, blurting out things that you normally would have thought but never said, and telling her when you disagree with something she says, and tell her unconditionally that you think she's pretty and you want to date her, you're in a much more maintainable position.
If she becomes receptive to your expression, then great! Escalate physically and go from there. You'll enjoy a much happier relationship with her because you're actually expressing your truth, and not copying what some YouTube loser told you to say or perform.
If she rejects you, you have also succeeded. Why? Because if you've shown your true self to her, and she still doesn't want to continue the interaction, she's shown you a key thing.
Why would you want to dedicate time and effort to a person who doesn't appreciate you? If the interaction developed from there, it wouldn't have worked out well anyway.
Have some self-esteem and strong boundaries. There must be no discernible difference between your thoughts and your spoken words.
I find that a lot of guys act more relaxed and, without knowing it, attractive around the 50-year old secretary at their office, than at the clubs and bars, where they mumble their words and fumble around buying girls drinks. Do you know why? Because you don't give a fuck about the interaction and are just having fun.
If this fundamentally feels wrong to you or makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to ask yourself some hard questions. Do you feel like you are 'enough' as you are? Do you feel like you have 'attachments' as Dr Robert Glover calls them? By that, I mean do you think if you weren't fit, if you weren't smart, if you didn't have a degree, you would still be worthy of attraction?
Otherwise, I suspect you subconsciously feel like you aren't worth the attraction of girls, and therefore you feel the need to perform, because if you were truthful and expressed your honest self, you would be rejected.
Mark Manson calls this strategy of embracing rejection "polarisation." By being truthful about your thoughts, you are forcing her to make a decision about you. To save the two of you time, you must polarise her as quickly as possible. Don't hesitate, blurt. Make non-sequiturs, they're much better than an awkward question to break the ice. Sound stupid? Then laugh at yourself. Have fun. Live in the moment.
If you think you're inviting a mountain of rejection onto you, you'll actually be surprised, because most women will at the very least appreciate your boldness, and more often than not she'll be attracted to that.
Rather than focusing on an outcome that you have no real control over, instead see the interaction itself as the goal. Approach the situation with the mentality of "I hope she's right for me, and will be worth me going over to talk to."
Forget lingering outcome-dependent thoughts like 'we need to kiss at some point', instead maximise your fun and her's in the present moment. That's what she's going to be attracted to more, that's what's going to make her feel a net gain in fun and happiness by being around you. That's what's going to get her out on a date with you.
To truly destroy lingering outcome-dependent thoughts like the one above, think about how they serve you? They don't. I'll repeat this again, whenever you feel thoughts like that, forget them and instead return to expressing your truth and maximising your fun and happiness in that present moment.
And if she still rejects you, you've still succeeded. You've achieved more success than the mainstream pickup advice can ever promise you.
By embracing rejection, by seeing rejection as your friend and not something to be afraid of, you'll feel much more relaxed in your interactions with women, and ultimately save yourself and her a lot of time and unnecessary effort.
TL;DR: Rejection is your friend. Don't avoid it or fear it, seek it. Be truthful. Polarise. You'll be happier with the results, and you'll both be saved a lot of time.