Tonight's Girlfriend got wasted early and is asleep in my bed. Shame on you Tonight's Girlfriend.

I'm gonna take advantage of my tipsy status and the early night to spill some guts. I'm going to write this in one go without editing. It's the worst story I could ever tell.

This is something I will never post on the main sub due to opsec, but I've candidly been dying to share. I spent the early part of today gorging on the content of this sub and it's sorely lacking the fraternity vibe. With no further adieu....

Intro

I'm standing in line at the Kroger. It's not terrifically different from the average day, but there's something gnawing at the back of my head. My then wife and I had a weird fight. The night before, I went to the gym. When I got back, she was gone. This was a first. I brushed it off, her parents lived nearby, and I knew she was there. This was always one of my points of contention - she was living in the womb even in her late 20s. But today felt different....

I go to swipe my card. "Invalid PIN" it reads. Huh. That's fuckin' weird. Chip Malfunction? Please Swipe? That's normal. Invalid PIN? That's a first. I use my backup and pull up my bank app.

The joint account is gone. Mid seven figures cash are now missing. Suddenly, a revelation hits me:

Fuck, I'm getting a divorce.

I'd recently spent 5 weeks away on a business trip. Before I left, my wife and I at the time were going through some basic "first year marital troubles". She was very upset I was capable of spending a month away. How could I do that without shriveling into a shell and dying? An impossible concept for said needy creature. I applied what I thought was adequate comfort and left, still ready for the lifetime commitment that awaited me when I returned.

Before The Return

While we were away, she ENDLESSLY pestered me about a college friend of mine. She hated this girl with a passion only a woman with an overactive imagination and not enough things to do during the day could summon. She had FORBIDDEN me from any contact with this girl, who was in the town I was visiting. I agreed because I was a dumb cunt, who cares right?. It came to a head three weeks into my trip. She brought it up for the 9th time, but with renewed aggression. Had I talked to her? Had I this that and the other?

I made a mistake here. I told her the truth. I said, "Yes, I called her before I left and politely explained why we weren't going to see each other, blah blah blah etc. No other contact." We were video chatting - she seemed to accept it but was visibly stunned. Like some sort of emotional gear was turning that I was too dumb to process at the time. She actually put up little resistance to the truth. We made nice and went to bed.

The Return

One week after the incident, I'm back. The honeymoon phase of returning was OK. Good at first, lots of happy feelings. She cried during sex twice. It was fucking weird, she'd never done that. What was happening?

Soon, everything was a fight. Everything I'd done was a betrayal of trust - why had I called that girl? She had FORBIDDEN IT! I made dumb caveman mistakes rationalizing, "telling girl upfront prevent misunderstanding" and "thought I did what was best".

This was met with accusations of "making her look like the bad person". Flabbergasted, I asked her why she even cared about the opinion of a girl she hated so deeply? This was all faggotry in retrospect.

We had a knock down drag out fight. After a month away amongst dealmakers and the social scene of a big city, I have to admit I found so called married life suddenly...oppressive.

Can you really call it a main event?

It was actually kind of short. This was a...Thursday I think after work? I was worn out from the travel, the day, and that fact I'd been unsuccessfully managing this bitch since the moment I got back.

When she started getting crazy my mind flipped into some sort of detached zone. She wants to go nuts? Fine, let's see what disposable feels like. Want to threaten divorce? Let's talk asset division. The seriousness of my tone crushes her. She sobs and says she wouldn't fight me for the house, etc. Stupid me thinks this is all a bluff, wraps up the conversation with no comfort, and steps out to the gym. Oops.

El Fin

Stats of the "marriage":

  • 363 days married - ouch
  • She, her brother, and her parents came back the day after and stole literally everything that wasn't nailed down - think pots and pans and registry gifts. I gave this up in the end even though they are fucking thieves and stole from my friends and family
  • Took 8 months to divorce her - mommy and daddy funded her side and fought every step of the way to try to damage my reputation, career, and social status
  • They tried to stake their divorce case on my former account's TRP posts! WATCH YOUR FUCKING OPSEC GENTS.
  • It was all worth it

Post what you want in the comments. I'll respond. This place needs some fucking activity