This poster has experienced something unfortunate, but common.
His GF who he cherished and loved, who seemed so sweet and kind, turned cold on him and cheated on him with her ex, a bad boy "abusive jerk" archetype. We all know the story, but what's interesting is that he's posting to TBP, a parody forum of TRP that talks shit about us and sends hatemail, and maintains that low SMV / pussyless males are should not try to use strategies to improve their SMV. He's asking them, "Guys, I'm feeling tempted to admit the Red Pill is real; I mean, my god, look at what I'm seeing before me. Please convince me to stay BP. Help me keep faith"
Read it here: https://archive.is/Xs6Yp
And some highlights:
"I'm numb right now, my fingers can barely type. Gf of 7 months (my first everything) left me for an ex-boyfriend whom she said she hated. This guy cheated and gaslighted her throughout the relationship so badly that she tried to overdose.
The last 6 months I've tried to be the best boyfriend, because I genuinely loved her from the bottom of my heart. I honestly thought that we were growing closer together because we were supportive of each other, healing from the past, etc...
"Turns out she doesn't give a shit. She explained to me sadly yesterday that she sees me more of a friend and that she misses her ex..
I was planning to surprise her next week for our 7-month anniversary with a homemade cookie cake.
Now, I'm not making fun of this guy. I don't really give a shit, TRP needs more subscribers like a teenage geek needs another pimple. If he wants to deny the rawness of his own life lesson, so be it. But I do want to focus on the idea of him returning to his BP brethren and asking them to "restore his faith."
Because that's really what it is. He has faith in a certain system, a religion if you will. More than a religion, it's a sense of mathematics that as a med school student fits in with his "work hard, do the right thing, and gradually accrue benefits and awards" type of thinking. He believes that if you are nice to women, you love them and cherish them and dedicate yourself to them, then that earns you something. That gets you their loyalty or at least decent behavior.
He believes in that sense of moral calculus like a capitalist believes in the invisible hand, or a weightlifter believes in the mathematical nature of caloric management + progressive overload. It just should work - it's written into the universe.
He gets this girl who's a alpha widow and he knows it, and she's really sweet with him. He falls way too deep in love way too quick; he's celebrating a 7 month anniversary by making a cake.
Now look - 7 months is too soon to be celebrating an anniversary, and celebrating "month"versaries is so incredibly beta, it's like saying "I baked you this to show you how glad I am you kept me around for a month."
I mean, you can imagine what this guy is like in bed.
By his own admission, he's made his life about pleasing her, and she seems so wonderful and unique. But of course, she's trickle truthing, she's texting / chatting with her ex, and then when he catches on, she says she feels NOTHING for the BF and dumps him for the ex. Just like that.
That shatters him. He's depressed; he says he is sobbing and can barely hold on. His whole world is wrecked.
She probably listened to some T Swift and rationalized her behavior as "well, me and my ex never go out of style. The med school guy is sweet and dependable but I don't need to be thinking about settling yet and I want to have fun with the cool guy." She isn't going through any pain, she's not losing sleep and trying to force herself to eat and go to work. She's not "just going through the motions."
She's A-OK. In fact, she probably gave OP a very doctored story - she's probably been fucking the ex and potentially others the whole time, not just towards the last few months.
This entire concept of a relationship - look at how it exists in his head in a completely different way than it does in hers.
THAT, gentleman, is what the BP is all about. The blue pill represents the fantasies you sell yourself, the created worlds that exist in your head alone, the systems of lies you repeat until they seem true.
He was solipsistic; he assumed that because within the confines of HIS mind there lived this great love and narrative surrounding the two of them, that surely that same world / story existed in her mind. That is real solipsism.
Now, when that gets challenged, as it did for me and for many of you, in many different yet similar ways, a man is put in a unique place. He's given a choice, although he often does not interpret the situation as a choice.
He can try to cling to his faith. Cling to the illusions and the indoctrinations in spite of what he's seen. He can try to deny that he just witnessed something deeply and systematically wrong with the "system of equations" that society was supposed to run by. He can recruit others (usually friends and family, but also internet echo-chamberists) to help him reach the conclusion that everything he thought WAS right, and she was just an anomaly.
"It was all her fault, not his, so no need to change. But at the same time, you can't blame her, she's a wonderful snowflake who's acting on her sexual agenda to be liberated and empowered, and you gotta support her decision, if you love her, you gotta want her to be happy."
It doesn't really make sense logically. It's just a way to pass around the blame and responsibility to nobody, and declare everyone free of sin, and begin fresh with nothing learned and nothing changed.
It's not logical at all, but it's kind. It feels nice, it feels like how you viewed the world as a child when you were a champion of good and your just reward was one quest away. It's a reassuring way to view the world, and although it does set you up for failure next time, you know you can count on the same excuse and rationalizations and support systems being there for you next time as well.
Or you can blame yourself. OP has already decided he doesn't want this. He doesn't want to think about what he could have done differently or how he can become more alpha to avoid getting cucked in the future. He also doesn't want to hear people insulting his GF.
In fact, when even TBP is criticizing his GF - that's right, even when the Portland of the internet is saying his GF is a dysfunctional, manipulative, alpha widowed chick - guess what he says. I kid you not, he edits his post with:
"Everyone's trying to tell me what a bitch my girlfriend was, but you know what? She wasn't, she was maybe one of the most understanding and kindest women I've ever met. And that's what makes this nauseatingly worse, that a woman like that would flatly tell me "I feel nothing but indifference when I'm with you" and then go sleep over at her ex's house the same evening."
This is a grade-A insight into the mentality of a cuckold. It's that pedestalization of a woman, combined with this kind of "Only I can judge her, she's so wonderful and kind and I don't know why she fucked other men behind my back and treated me like shit, but she's a good girl. I just want her back."
And you can see how much damage that's doing to OP. He's miserable, he's upset, he's lost. But he's decided that he only wants to have a crises of FAITH not a mental engagement with the issue and subsequent life vamp. He wants to use TBP like a dumped girl uses Ben and Jerry's rather than using TRP to actually start getting respect and great treatment from women.
What's sad is that a part of him wants to let go. A part of him is saying that maybe TRP is right. But he doesn't want to see where logically unravelling that thread takes him. He's afraid, he doesn't want to change. His whole identity is that he's a nice, stable, successful, well-adjusted guy. He has the potential to be free, but instead, he wants to be swallowed back into the fold. He'll be doomed to repeat this shattering experience until he actually loses his religion, and cannot be pulled back into the BP faith by your typical fantasies and promises.
The point here for you all to learn is to study your painful experiences. Learn from them. Identify where you are choosing to cling to a faith-based belief (not religious, I'm talking faith as in something you believe without real scientific or objective evidence), and ruthlessly assault that part of you, no matter how painful it might be. Find people who will tell you the truth, not tell you something that will make you feel better.
And lastly, understand that we may not make you feel better, but we can help you help yourself get laid. If you want to feel good about yourself, ask for TBP's help. If you want to get pussy and get respect - starting with SELF-respect - then we can help. See, I know OP because I have a lot of friends like him. For 25 years on this beautiful earth they think "well, it's more important to think of myself as a good person than it is to get laid a lot or have a sex-charged relationship where the girl actually enjoys worshipping my dick."
But one day, something interesting happens. They wake up extra hard. Maybe they see a girl that just screams to them. Maybe they get so fed up and tired that they just cannot live with themselves anymore for being so lame. They decide "I would rather win than be right."
"I would rather get laid than feel morally superior to other people."
And to OP, when you realize that, we'll be here. Get your ass on a workout plan and STFU until you're done skullfucking yourself with the sidebar, because homie, you need it.