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Roles, respect and responsibility acceptance as an alpha trait

September 9, 2015
314 upvotes

TL:DR - There is no TL:DR of this. Poor role understanding within the sub has caused the mods to have to post about the leadership and direction of the sub multiple times in the past 12 months. This post tries to solve the root of the problem. If you believe in the overall goals of the sub, then you'll read it in full.

I recently posted a mini-analysis of the functioning of the sub using an analogy of a military base that didn't quite know the role of every academy graduate. This was an attempt to explain why we keep seeing people questioning the direction of the sub and positing how to solve it as a long term issue.

Keeping with that analogy, we essentially see the squaddies thinking that they can run the base better than the base commander. When the squaddie challenges the drill sergeant on methods of training... they're surprised to be called into the base commander's office and get told they're going to be thrown out. "But... you said that command was always open to ideas? That this is a place where we care about debate and understanding reality ahead of everything else? Without caring about language?"

Yeah, we do. But you fucked up your basic social skills. It's also why your attitude probably isn't working quite so well in the field. Achievements through numbers rather than skill. This is because (while some dominant alphas have natural genetics making them good looking enough that they can pretty much get away with murder) you don't have the ability to completely ignore social etiquette. You can bend it a little maybe... but you're not Jagger. He can ignore all social etiquette and send three 9/10s back to his hotel room to wait for him. You on the other hand, when you ignore social etiquette, it's a demonstration of low SMV. Poor social skills.

Alphas generally don't have poor social skills. So what does this mean to be an alpha without being an 11/10 superstar? It means you've got a role to play. If you understand the game and the goal, then you'll find your role. With women, playing the role of the modern dominant alpha will give her the tingles because women like to put guys in boxes. It increases your SMV once you end up in that box in her mind. While this particular bit of info isn't the main thing I want to discuss here, I wanted to demonstrate that an alpha knowing how to play his role is a positive thing for pure sexual strategy. However the crux of this is going to diverge slightly to address how a group of alpha male leaders work best together.

Firstly, I'd like to make a side note about AMOGing which I like to call the AMOG fallacy. This is the idea that when someone AMOGs, he is the alpha of the group. This is an oversimplification. While he may be the apex alpha in terms of status, this does not mean that all other members of the group are beta. Following that logic would suggest that only /u/RedPillSchool is alpha on the sub and everyone else is consequently beta. That the base commander is the only alpha simply because his captains, sergeants, squad leaders and trainees all have to obey him. The football team out drinking will have an apex alpha in the group, but that doesn't make the rest of the group are betas. There's a reason such groups and fraternities all get laid - because they're all alpha, whether it be by status or, more importantly, behaviour.

/u/Whisper recently made a post (which amused me greatly) about Gronk! For those of you who didn't read it, Gronk! is the typical example of an insecure alpha wannabe who seems to be under the impression that alpha is achieved by dominating everyone around you and demonstrating you have the biggest muscles, the greatest height, the biggest dick, the most swollen balls and the purest testosterone. He tries to AMOG everyone. Have you ever met a Gronk! before? His social skills are laughable. In fact, when I see one out and about... I'll stop playing my game and grab some popcorn so I can find a comfy chair to watch the show. Why do I do this? Because in the same way I don't respect the modern woman, I don't respect Gronk! Like women, he has been placed on this planet for my amusement. Gronk! is undoubtedly my inferior. Why? The man who tries to out-alpha me is my inferior. How? Because he hasn't figured out how to be my equal. This swings back to my point before which now explains why members consistently keep trying to question the direction of the sub. In making dominant leaders, the sub itself creates young men who want to try and assume the leadership role and try to dominate those around them. However they were never given good role models growing up to see how dominant alpha males interact with other dominant alpha males. How they treat equals. And if you can't treat an alpha as an equal, then you aren't his equal.

Surprisingly enough, Gronk! isn't welcome in the group of dominant alphas. There's an excellent scene in Gran Torino where Clint Eastwood demonstrates to the kid he's taken under his wing, that secure heterosexual men who are friends have a level of implied respect within the most derogatory of statements. The kid then tries to imitate this and is told that it's incredibly offensive. It's probably the most basic social skill which isn't taught enough on here - finding the right mix between polite and kissing ass to start out and then allowing the relationship to progress. This is similar to finding the correct tone to be assertive with women without being controlling or weird. The nuance in tone that allows you to rant like bloke and not whine like a woman.

The reaction of the Italian threatening to "blow his gook head off" reminds me of a reply made by /u/RedPillWatchTower to my original analogy of a military base. It's why you should avoid being confrontational or needlessly offensive. I don't feel I need to add anything to this:

I think a lot of new guys confuse "alpha" with "peacocking" or "AMOGing". What I've noticed lately is guys with 3 month old alt accounts coming in, declaring that they've lurked on TRP since the dawn of time, then proceed to start telling ECs they don't know what they are talking about.

This is the Reddit version of a guy who spent 3 months at the gym, goes to the local bar, and picks a fight with the biggest guy in the place to try to prove something. Little did he know that the guy he picked a fight with is not only going to kick his ass, that guy is also friends with the bar owner. So now he's got a black eye and is in jail.

That's pretty much how it works here.

I don't continue to post here for myself so much anymore. I've learnt what I need to learn. I've enacted what I need to enact. I have a solid understanding of theory so, without being humble about it, I believe I can explain and pass it on to boys who are now in a similar position to the one I used to be in. I know my specific role - pass on the knowledge and analytical ability. Help train the next set of men. My role is not to lead the sub as a whole or decide on the direction. Don't get me wrong, if I think I've got a good idea, I'll voice it. When I do, I will do so in a respectful manner. I won't tell any of the veterans that they're wrong. That's needlessly confrontational and sets the wrong tone. These people are my equals and I'd like to think many of them are my friends (depending on whether you think you can be friends with people you've never met) and should be treated as such. I'll voice my opinion and let them make up their own mind. Blue Pill men need others to listen and adhere to what they think. Red Pill men don't need to care. We share our knowledge to help any man who wants to listen... if they won't, it's not our loss. Ultimately, if you're not looking to listen to ideas you hadn't considered before then what the fuck are you doing here? Go back to the mainstream.

So now comes the big question: how do we identify our role? TRP has always been excellent for telling the new recruits what they need to do, pointing out who the drill sergeants are and showing that the base commander is in charge. What it has struggled with is the graduates, the squad leaders and the corporals.

  • If you're a raw recruit then you'll be reading the sidebar and keeping quiet. No exceptions.
  • If you've become a squaddie after a month or two, chip in where you think you understand what is going on and keep your ears pricked up in case the drill sergeant or a corporal comes round to correct you. Don't be the dickhead who posts for two weeks and then tells the drill sergeant that he doesn't know what he's talking about. You'll be seen for the moron you are.
  • If you've begun applying things in the real world and you're getting positive feedback on your understanding then congratulations on your promotion to lance-corporal. Keep contributing where you think you can and listen out for further advice from the drill sergeants and base commanders.
  • You've secured your first plate or two? Excellent work corporal. See what parts of the training you can help with from your personal experiences. Just don't let that first success go to your head. The drill sergeants have been doing this a lot longer than you have and will help to correct you if you've had a rare experience without realising. Keep that mind open and keep learning.
  • The drill sergeants and base commanders don't need to be told what to do. It's self explanatory.

You have a role in the group. Sometimes that role is just team member and not leader. It's a logical fallacy to think that not being the leader makes you less alpha. The alpha will take his role and work it - he knows that for the group to succeed, all members of the team need to work their role effectively. You've chosen to be a part of the team and I'm assuming you've done that because you want to see that group succeed in its goals. Alpha men will gladly defer to more experienced/knowledgeable men when they're trying to achieve a mutual goal. It's just common sense to let the expert/more experienced/more knowledgeable guy lead the group.

As a community, the TRP sub is no different. Alpha men work together for the good of the community, taking on the roles required of them. Women bitch and bicker amongst themselves and nothing gets done. See twoX as a prime example. It pretends to have purpose... but nothing ever gets achieved there. Here on TRP, boys become men. They go from hopeless and unfulfilled to confident and satisfied. You want to be a part of it? Then take on the responsibility of your role and treat the other roles with respect. That's what an alpha male does.

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Post Information
Title Roles, respect and responsibility acceptance as an alpha trait
Author NightwingTRP
Upvotes 314
Comments 74
Date September 9, 2015 2:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/roles-respect-and-responsibility-acceptance-as-an.36244
https://theredarchive.com/post/36244
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3k8uxw/roles_respect_and_responsibility_acceptance_as_an/
Comments

[–]noobforlife 44 points44 points [recovered] | Copy Link

secure heterosexual men who are friends have a level of implied respect within the most derogatory of statements. The kid then tries to imitate this and is told that it's incredibly offensive. It's probably the most basic social skill which isn't taught enough on here - finding the right mix between polite and kissing ass to start out and then allowing the relationship to progress.

This point you make is very relevant for the Gronks! you mention. Context is critical and a lot of the time posters, sometimes in the midst of the anger phase or other redpill phases, forget this critical point. Just because you are not the "apex" leader does not mean that makes you inherently "beta". Alpha and beta are states of mind.

This is similar to finding the correct tone to be assertive with women without being controlling or weird. The nuance in tone that allows you to rant like bloke and not whine like a woman.

I like how you dovetailed into interactions with women as nuance, subtlety, and context are critical in all social dynamics. In fact they are the most important thing to keep in mind. A lot of discussion is people looking for step-by-step guidelines and procedures when all of these canned replies for shit-tests and techniques are secondary and rely on situational context and subtlety. (Book of Pook is an excellent book that highlights the importance of these concepts).

Finally it will be interesting how the Redpill community deals with "intermediate" level members as the community matures and continues to grow in numbers. The Redpill message has certainly struck a chord with myself and many other young men and this is an exciting time to be a part of this community as it continues to develop.

As always, kudos to the moderating team and community members for doing an excellent job of maintaining the focus, content, and message of the sub.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As always, kudos to the moderating team and community members for doing an excellent job of maintaining the focus, content, and message of the sub.

Seconded. I rarely participate in other interesting subs because of all the low-value posters there. The mod team here is very proactive about getting rid of low-value content.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbogeyd62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Conversely, the mods are also very proactive about rewarding high value content.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

An alpha knows when to be the chief and when to be the Indian. You see a group of men working on something, do you just but in and immediately tell them they are doing it wrong? Or do you say what can I do to help? Kind of a no-brainer. Good post!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A good show that demonstrates this is "The Profit." Basically an alpha guy comes in and takes over semi-failing businesses. He is always switching between Indian and chief.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

What is this?

[–]StrokeGameHusky2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I love the positivity, I feel there can be too much anger phasing hate in the sub that the overall message is lost. Enjoy life.

I will be looking out for your posts/comments in the future. Enjoy your role

[–]Modredpillschool2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel there can be too much anger phasing hate in the sub that the overall message is lost

Nonsense, without the anger there is no message.

[–]larrythetomato8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Poor role understanding within the sub has caused the mods to have to post about the leadership and direction of the sub multiple times in the past 12 months. This post tries to solve the root of the problem. If you believe in the overall goals of the sub, then you'll read it in full.

I think this is a systematic bias stemming from the design of reddit. There is constant updating and reshuffling of the front page of TRP. Heck if you look at the bottom of your page you might be only seeing content that is a day old, two days if it is really good. Even with 100 page view, you are only seeing 5 day old content. 5 DAYS that is it. We wouldn't even have the "Fuck Off SJWs kiss my ass" article titled "Single mothers are..." in sight if it weren't for the sticky.

TRP, like reddit is a constantly updating stream of information. I would never go off on a "I know it has been said twice a week for the last two years, but you really need to start lifting" thread, this is for people who are in a stuck rut and stagnating in life. It is important to have posts targeting each sector of the community. The "start lifting" posts for the newbies, the non PC Vanguard posts keeping scum out, the theory posts for intermediates, the Examples and Vents for those going through the grief. All are important for the community, and because we are bound by the reddit style, we need to have constant new posts on each of these subjects.

Unfortunately, since we can't just concentrate TRP reddit into 10 links, a list of the absolute best thing that can be read when you are in each appropriate stage, you will always have people on the edge of the fence questioning the authority and people in the other camp throwing stones.

Summary: While these types of posts are futile, they are paramount to the culture of the trp sub

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Unfortunately, since we can't just concentrate TRP reddit into 10 links

search bar is there for this purpose.

[–]SonicTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Although TRP's front page is always refreshing with new posts, what keeps the sub from forgetting old, useful posts is by immortalizing them in the sidebar and making the sidebar a necessary barrier of entry to the community. This is what makes TRP possible as a subreddit.

[–]Modredpillschool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even with 100 page view, you are only seeing 5 day old content. 5 DAYS that is it.

You have a good point. Luckily we have a solution in the works. Stay tuned.

[–]Nebulose116 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

if I think I've got a good idea, I'll voice it. When I do, I will do so in a respectful manner. I won't tell any of the veterans that they're wrong. That's needlessly confrontational and sets the wrong tone. These people are my equals and I'd like to think many of them are my friends (depending on whether you think you can be friends with people you've never met) and should be treated as such.

By all means voice your opinions, please! But when someone comes in and tells you why you are a bumbling idiot, FUCKING LISTEN. Improve. Try again. Eventually this shit will just sink in your mind and you will have internalized trp.

Every time I see a chick that I want to approach but think I will just fuck it up I find myself thinking "What Would Gay Lube Oil do? Well he would be either smashing that chick by 8pm or have taken the rejection and be smashing some other chick by 8pm, OR he would have offered her a shirt (Sometimes things get a little out of hand in my head).

[–]RP157 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

It is insane how many readers/writers are military or former military. It pervades the language in diction, metaphors, and subject matter. This is a very good thing, but I wonder why the military is so highly represented here. Could it be the high active duty divorce rate, or is it just that the alpha men tend to serve in the military?

[–]ScoobyGang4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The military can, and take the can as highly contingent, instill and develop alpha traits and mind sets purely because they are necessary for the survival of the unit. Again, reiterating, not in the sense of being a leader. Imagine, men who have to be prepared to kill others but on a more daily level deal with hardships on a magnitude that is alien to an average individual. Friends dying, hopelessness, and even as basic as sand in your add crack or crouching in a shrub for three days to do recon. This process can breed men that have become redpill in nature because of the best reason, because they have to.

[–]RP150 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm assuming alpha traits are more prevalent in combat roles, and even more prevalent in JSOC-related units. Would you say that officers or enlisted men are more red pill?

[–]ShockMonsta4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's definitely on more of a case by case bases than you might imagine. There's infantryman who will absolutely shatter the first time a round flies their way; alternatively there's a cook, who put in the same situation is going to go balls deep. There's tons of things you could factor in on the individual level, or on the level of that individual's leadership, that could affect which way things fly in his mind. Officer to enlisted in my opinion doesn't matter, seen plenty of them take one pill over the other. One thing I'll leave off with is that there's a shit load of "Gronks!" any direction you turn in the military.

[–]RP151 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

One thing I'll leave off with is that there's a shit load of "Gronks!" any direction you turn in the military.

Do you mean that in the sense that people pull rank on each other and think that makes them more alpha? Or do they do even lamer shit like who can do more pushups?

[–]ShockMonsta2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess it could come packaged in that form, but I mean people generally being disagreeable/hard to work with for the sake of acting tough, trying to act like the head motherfucker in charge. Rank doesn't really discriminate against that kind of behavior. Something like a pushup competition is similar to the way we operate on TRP; sort of a brotherly rivalry, self-betterment kind of deal.

[–]Heyimtitel3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any man who must say "i am the king" is no true king. If you scream alpha at any step, you are not. Prove it through your actions. Great post.

[–]whisky11118 points9 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

"Then take on the responsibility of your role and treat the other roles with respect. That's what an alpha male does."

But what about all the criminal alphas out there walking around in the world? I really don't think they give two shits about respect or their "role" yet they are still alphas.

I'm not encouraging guys to be like that, but we make a lot of assumptions here about what is alpha and what is not when women don't seem to care about whether you are a constructive alpha or a destructive alpha.

Both kinds will give the tingles.

Even the mods here have indicated that TRP is a sexual strategy with an end goal that isn't necessarily about "respect" or even about community.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is an interesting point. I remember the video Rollo refers to when he's showing what he believes to be the essence of alpha. He makes mention that the kid is just a little prick... and he's not wrong.

His actions of defiance were the way he demonstrated his value. In a way, this is the one type of alpha behaviour that we don't tend to encourage too much. We tell guys to ignore what others are trying to push them to do rather than react in an anti-social manner.

Ultimately, it makes sense for us to promote the idea of the healthy co-operative, social alpha... rather than the anti-social alpha or criminal. After all, the anti-social alpha can't achieve in all areas of society. Most people on TRP want to change their whole life for the better, even if at first they only wanted to get laid. We can help with both... but doors are closed on the anti-social guys, so naturally we promote becoming the pro-social alpha.

Even the mods here have indicated that TRP is a sexual strategy with an end goal that isn't necessarily about "respect" or even about community.

In my view, if all you want to do is get laid... you don't need to actually participate in the community to achieve this. The sub itself evolves as things change and grow. I think the fact this is stickied kinda says where the mods want to take things.

[–]whisky11112 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"so naturally we promote becoming the pro-social alpha."

But the mods don't seem to eschew this when they say that TRP is a strictly sexual strategy complete with taking "short cuts".

So is TRP a reactionary strategy to hypergamy? Or is it something all encompassing for a man and how he interacts with women AND men? THIS seems to be the point that this sub can't seem to decide upon.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But the mods don't seem to eschew this when they say that TRP is a strictly sexual strategy complete with taking "short cuts".

I think you're misunderstanding through incorrect use of language. The mods are very clear that sexual strategy is the focus of the sub. That doesn't mean tangential things can't come up or will not be tolerated at all.

For example, the current stickied post by Illimitableman is partly about why you shouldn't go near single mothers as part of your sexual strategy... and partly and analysis of why they're personally stupid, bad for their kids and bad for society. The latter three points are not strictly speaking sexual strategy. (+1 for my awesome alliteration.)

So is TRP a reactionary strategy to hypergamy?

I think TRP is reactionary to the state of society and the unleashed free/unrestricted hypergamy. Hypergamy has existed for thousands of years but civilisation has also existed for that long because of the way society was structured and religion was observed. These things regulated the SMP. However, now the SMP is not regulated in any way, shape or form... we have the insane situation where pussy is at an all-time low value and top men are at an all-time high value. It's totally fucked everything up... and when men who there were nothing wrong with in the past faced this market and lost out... the natural reaction of men is to adapt and find a solution to the problem. That solution was the manosphere, and in turn, TRP.

Since it was created as a reaction to the deregulation of the SMP, the sub itself has also started to evolve as it has grown because this has presented new problems. The further feminisation of society and increased levels of devaluing male emotion and male effort in favour of trying to artificially raise the value of the pussy despite the fact it's at an all-time low due to huge supply... all this affects the men in the sub, so we discuss this tangent too.

If ever you wanted proof of the difference between sexual strategy being the focus vs sexual strategy being the strict topic... look at the flairs for topics. You'll see MRA and MGTOW as options - and they ain't pure sexual strategy talk.

Finally, I wanted to clear this one up for you:

Alpha is alpha. We have been told many times that a woman's hypergamy is amoral, so why wouldn't a man's alpha-ness be amoral? Aren't both sexual strategies based upon amoral biology?

You misunderstand how morality and biology operate. Biology is base reality. It is fixed, it can't be negotiated or decided. It's not something we apply to the world, it is what the world applies to us.

Morality is a cerebral concept that mankind came up with. It is a concept that is not a part of base reality, but something we apply to the reality itself. This is why sexual strategy is considered amoral, because the biology doesn't care. A human is moral or not moral because we can care... we can apply our morality and alter our actions accordingly... but the biology won't change.

A man's alphaness is amoral... but his choices and actions can be either moral or immoral, depending on the sort of person he is. I hope this makes sense because it's a bit of a meta concept and I'm hoping I've explained it well enough so you can fit everything together. Illimitableman did an excellent piece on morality that is worth reading on his blog. Do a google search and it'll pop up.

[–]noobforlife 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Alpha is a mindset, read The Rational Male, he does an excellent job of defining these concepts.

[–]whisky11110 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Actually it was Rollo in his last audio interview that said that there were lots of alphas in prison.

[–]noobforlife 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

"Alpha is mindset, not a demographic"

Courtesy of an article of his entitled "Alpha" where he mentions that infamous Corey kid. I'd suggest reading that article, Rollo explains well what he means by that statement and it is the thesis of his essay. You are free to disagree with it however.

[–]StrokeGameHusky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you have a link ?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You might see the criminal as being alpha because he DGAF and takes what he wants but he will never be a true leader without respect for others and a sense of fairness or justice.

The criminal alpha will be a lone wolf or maybe lead a small group but will never acquire much power without some diplomacy.

The righteous alpha who looks out for the wellbeing of the whole group will be respected. His words will carry more weight because of this respect and people will listen. His power and potential success within society will far outshine the criminal alpha. This power and success acquired with the approval of the group will put him in a position to enjoy the finest of females.

It's up to you to calibrate your own moral compass. If you only care about yourself and what you can get, that's not my problem. Personally, I think life is more meaningful and rewarding with true values and genuine relationships.

[–]Aelius941 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There's a lot of 'hamstering' as it's called here when it comes to criminals. A lot of people take a 'Dark Triad' attitude towards women but continue to be 'blue pill' in most other areas of their life. This is the reason they slip back into their old habits with women because it's hard to maintain such different mindsets.

Criminals might not give a fuck about those around them but a lot of them are most definitely leaders, some great. There are many types of good leaders, saying a guy who doesn't care about justice/fairness is a bad leader is incredibly naive.

I believe a lot of the arguing around here when it comes to morals/ethics with women stems from the fact most people don't apply a 'red pill' mindset to ALL aspects of their lives. If you (or anyone else) don't want to do that because you believe in 'fairness' that's fine, but it shouldn't be a motivator to make people in the sub feel guilty.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm not trying to "make people in the sub feel guilty". Besides, if they fully internalize red pill philosophy that would be impossible.

I'm probably wrong and just romanticizing the idea that people would rather follow a just and fair leader than someone they feared. God damn, all those movies I've seen where the good guy wins in the end have affected me. After all, Machiavelli said, it is better to be feared than loved. Fear you can control; love, never.

There are many types of good leaders, saying a guy who doesn't care about justice/fairness is a bad leader is incredibly naive.

You're right. We all know Genghis Khan was possibly the greatest leader ever and he was definitely not fair and just.

I don't know man, my whole reality around wright and wrong is up in the air after coming here. The rational side of me is questioning all morality big time. Clearly the universe has no moral rules and seems to reward power above all else.

More than anything I just want to be genuinely happy and know inner peace (satisfying my sexual imperative is big). If I do something that doesn't feel right I will keep thinking about it and questioning. I don't want to hurt anyone and this goes deep. I'm not sure I can completely root that out of myself.

I'll figure this quandary out eventually but if nothing else this sub has made me reevaluate the fundamental programming of my moral compass and this can only be a good thing because I don't think I've ever looked so closely.

[–]Aelius941 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You probably don't mean to make anyone feel guilty, I just feel from reading your post that some people on the fence like you might feel that way.

Of course you feel good when the good guy wins in the end. It's just like all of us as kids/teenagers who loved watching a disney movie where love is how we want it. Everyone wants the world to be fair so they pretend it is. They do it for women and they do it for most other people too.

A lot of people go through a lot of anxiety digesting that. I think seeing women/relationships for what they really are rather then what we've been conditioned to believe is only scratching the surface. Once again though ignorance is bliss. For some people it might just be better to have red pill mindset when it comes to women and leave it at that. It's wasted energy to judge how another person lives so I guess just do what you need to do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This video is worth watching.

Alan Alda with Robert Sapolsky of Stanford University - EXTENDED

"In this extended version, Alan asks Sapolsky his views about free will, morality, and what outside factors could contribute to making a person break the law."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx8xEUYrb74

[–]whisky11110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Alpha is alpha. We have been told many times that a woman's hypergamy is amoral, so why wouldn't a man's alpha-ness be amoral? Aren't both sexual strategies based upon amoral biology?

[–]2Overkillengine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The information is amoral; the execution, not so much.

And on that, the "morality" of it all depends on if you wish to maximize your short term interests or your long term interests.

That's because society is basically an extended version of the prisoner's dilemma; individuals ceding a portion of their maximum possible gains when interacting in order to ensure a more consistent bottom line. (And thus stability, growth, etc.)

Situation 1: Person A gains greatly, Person B loses.

Situation 2: Person A gains moderately; Person B gains moderately.

The first option sounds great, especially if you don't stop to consider the effects of reputation warding others off from interacting with you or that you are not guaranteed to be on the winning side of the first interaction even 50% of the time!

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I would hope that this sub would be a meritocracy than a military unit.

In the military, leaders are chosen by those above. Good militaries do their best to promote those who are worthy but no military is immune from ambitious ass-kissers and incompetent leaders. There's a reason the phrase "Catch-22" was used to describe the military. Also, the outlier is not going to be chosen because he doesn't fit the mold of other leaders (married with kids, same religion, same race, etc).

In a meritocracy, people are naturally chosen by ability. A good example is poker or chess - if you have the skills, you can play with the big boys immediately. There's no need to "pay your dues" or figure out what your role is in the organization. You can be an outlier and it doesn't matter. Stephen Hawking is a good example - his contributions to science are judged on their own merit and his personal appearance or physical ability are not relevant.

I'd hate to see this sub become a place where people pull rank on each other. Let people be judged by the merit of their argument and not how long they have been contributing, or whether they are following their proper role, or whether they are being deferential to the right people. If an experienced contributor, or even a mod, is wrong, I would hope that everyone feels free to call him out on his error and not worry about the politics of the situation.

I've had people try to "pull rank" on me, not necessarily in this sub but in other online discussions. They would say things like, "I'm older and have led huge organizations and multi-million dollar businesses etc etc." If all this were true then they'd be able to defend their position elegantly and convincingly, but they weren't so they resorted to pulling rank which led me to doubt their claims.

TL;DR: forget "ranks", forget titles, and forget knowing your place. This is a marketplace for ideas, and if someone has a good idea or argument and makes a solid case for it, I'm listening to that guy.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I would hope that this sub would be a meritocracy than a military unit.

In a meritocracy, people are naturally chosen by ability.

The problem with this statement is "who decides what constitutes 'ability'?" Who decides which individuals are the most skillful and thus the most worthy of contribution?

The answer is, someone who is skilled. Meaning, a superior. That's how meritocracies work. The most skillful individuals have positions of authority precisely so they can evaluate and dictate who rises and when. Their ultimate goal is to safeguard the accuracy of the information being transmitted.

The real difference between pure meritocracies and the military (when NOT in war) is not the failure to recognize merit, but rather that the military is subject to seniority, procedure, law, nepotism, bribery, and other forms of social politics because it has no singular goal. It consists of the goals of all of its members - everything from career officers to NCOs to lowly guys just looking to pay their college tuition. This fact can occasionally prevent skillful individuals from rising, or result in unskilled individuals rising when they shouldn't.

The Red Pill remains somewhat insulted from these things because this is a not-for-profit enterprise. Endorsed contributors volunteer their time. They only take payment as donations, or for the purpose of self-promotion (GLO is an example).

I think pulling rank is precisely what needs to happen around here, so long as the ranking officers remembers the ultimate goal of keeping the sub a bastion of good sexual strategy.

And if you disagree, just remember this: no one is keeping you here. You can always go out and begin another sub, or your own website. I for one won't hesitate to leave if I ever suspect that this sub is failing in its purpose.

But so far, it hasn't failed me. And I, in turn, will endeavour to give back to the sub whatever I can. It's how the cycle continues.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The problem with this statement is "who decides what constitutes 'ability'?" Who decides which individuals are the most skillful and thus the most worthy of contribution?

There's no problem. I gave an example of a pure meritocracy - poker, or in particular, the WSOP. Anyone can buy in and anyone can win if they have the skill. It's completely unbiased since there's no person or committee choosing who can advance and who can't. You can be a pimply 13-year-old and sit at the table with Phil Ivey if you have the skill. This is exactly what happened when Bobby Fischer, at 13 years old, defeated one of the top US chess players.

The answer is, someone who is skilled. Meaning, a superior. That's how meritocracies work. The most skillful individuals have positions of authority precisely so they can evaluate and dictate who rises and when. Their ultimate goal is to safeguard the accuracy of the information being transmitted.

Anytime you have someone who chooses who will rise and who won't, you have politics.

Look at the most upvoted content in TRP - for the most part they are excellent submissions, many of which are written by non-endorsed contributors. This is closer to a pure meritocracy - have the readers decide who is writing the best content. In this scenario, the mods are like gardeners, pulling the weeds (irrelevant and low-quality content) while the trees grow.

The real difference between pure meritocracies and the military (when NOT in war) is not the failure to recognize merit, but rather that the military is subject to seniority, procedure, law, nepotism, bribery, and other forms of social politics because it has no singular goal. It consists of the goals of all of its members - everything from career officers to NCOs to lowly guys just looking to pay their college tuition. This fact can occasionally prevent skillful individuals from rising, or result in unskilled individuals rising when they shouldn't.

It happens even in war. The military is a political organization just like any other. People eventually learn to play the game and find out how to look good to the right people. How often, in history, has the general of the armies been the ruler's son or brother?

The Red Pill remains somewhat insulted from these things because this is a not-for-profit enterprise. Endorsed contributors volunteer their time. They only take payment as donations, or for the purpose of self-promotion (GLO is an example).

Not-for-profit organizations are sometimes subject to some of the fiercest politics. Ask any university professor or grad student about the politics in their department, or any employee at a non-profit. Since they don't have a common goal of making tons of money, their only currency is prestige - it becomes a popularity contest.

I think pulling rank is precisely what needs to happen around here, so long as the ranking officers remembers the ultimate goal of keeping the sub a bastion of good sexual strategy.

I disagree. Pulling rank is a shortcut when you can't back up what you're saying with facts and reason. If you want to see how a real experienced contributor shuts down stupidity, check out how /u/whisper repsonds to this poor fellow: https://archive.is/jgskj

And if you disagree, just remember this: no one is keeping you here. You can always go out and begin another sub, or your own website. I for one won't hesitate to leave if I ever suspect that this sub is failing in its purpose.

I like the sub and think that the mods and experienced contributors are putting out some great content and frankly are doing a service to all men. I don't want it to become this political organization where people "outrank" others and use their titles to try to silence disagreement. The unbiased meritocracy is what I'd like to see in TRP. There's a reason why feminists hate the word 'meritocracy' and why truly capable people gravitate towards it.

And if you disagree...well, you said it best.

But so far, it hasn't failed me. And I, in turn, will endeavour to give back to the sub whatever I can. It's how the cycle continues.

Hopefully TRP will be a place we can all continue to depend on and contribute to.

BTW, the link to Whisper's smackdown seems to be queueing endlessly on archive.is, so I included his text here:

Clearly, you haven't thought about this much, which is why you still haven't answered the question, and why you are asking stupid, poorly-thought-out questions full of characterizations, and not even bothering to read the replies carefully.

I, however, have thought about this a great deal.

....TheRedPill/comments/2d9k75/the_redefinition_of_marriage/

....TheRedPill/comments/38zz33/the_redefinition_of_marriage_part_two_sex/

Now, since you were too lazy to even read comments replying to yours, you will not read these, and if you do, you will not understand them.

That's why your opinion of TRP doesn't matter to me. Because it is the product of less thought than you devote to what topping you want on your pizza. If you can't be bothered to think before opening your mouth, I can't be bothered to try to persuade you that the opinion you took thirty seconds creating is dumb.

However, I have provided those links for others who may be following along.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Look at the most upvoted content in TRP - for the most part they are excellent submissions, many of which are written by non-endorsed contributors.

It's the fresh perspectives that can be so relatable and insightful. And it's not just the original postings, but the debate that ensues. There are some amazing voices here, and the collective perspective continues to evolve.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's the fresh perspectives that can be so relatable and insightful. And it's not just the original postings, but the debate that ensues. There are some amazing voices here, and the collective perspective continues to evolve.

Well-said.

There are a lot of great writers out there, and many men who have been through hell and back and have plenty to give to the younger RPers here. The black knight teacher comes to mind.

And there are some younger RPers who have had some unique experiences and it is great to get their perspective as well. It's good to get their read as to what is happening in high schools and universities all over the world.

[–]exoduslife3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a marketplace for ideas

And as such we should take what is applicable (for each guy) and ignore the 'noise' (what doesn't have value for us). Some of the newer readers accept everything from EC as gospel and attempt to defend them from anyone who has a difference of opinion. This is a normal occurence on the internet where anyone who has a different opinion is deemed out of order.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with most of this. There's a responsibility to the leaders too - a bad leader leaves his troops in fear of speaking up when they have a good idea. BUT they can't afford to have their troops offer up these ideas in a disrespectful fashion. It's all about tone.

I always listen to the ideas. In a way I'd call it having your preferred drill sergeants taking your class. Except here, because it's down to you, you can pick your own preferred teacher. There's plenty of excellent teachers here on TRP.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Good points.

While TRP generally doesn't do tone-policing, respect is always a good thing especially towards the mods and experienced contributors, especially when disagreeing.

[–]6482623 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You have a role in the group. Sometimes that role is just team member and not leader. It's a logical fallacy to think that not being the leader makes you less alpha. The alpha will take his role and work it

I've almost given up on correcting the use of the alpha-title, because it has been misused, lost its actual meaning and created so much confusion that it has started to become funny.

Let us reuse OPs example: How can there be more than one alpha in a hierarchical structured place like an army base?

That really depends on what we mean by alpha. In TRP circles, especially from the new school kids it tends to mean someone who is the leader of his group of friends, lifts some weights and tries to better himself so that he can get all the chicks.

In my honest opinion it is a bit more complicated and temporary than that.

An alpha is the person within a group of people who are having a social interaction who at a given point in time holds the most power among those people. Keep in mind that social interactions are temporary, but often frequent - you have several every day.

The thing about power is that it is never taken - it can only be given. This is why people are spitting answers in askTRP in the form of 48 Laws of Power. Those laws will increase the probability that people you have social interactions with will subdue to you. The moment it happens is the moment you are an alpha.

During the life at an army base there are a million social interactions happening every day - and each of them has an alpha. When you and your group of friends shoot the shit with each other you tend to treat each other as equals - but you shit test each other. The power dynamic shifts back and forth and no one is quite sure who is who in terms of roles - until one you hits bullseye and one guy drops his shit - BAM! The dropper is not the leader of the group that day at least.

Compare this the boss of the base kicking out people. In the formal setting he is the one with the most power because there are so many mechanisms (people) in place to help him do so that if you were to actually challenge him the only viable outcome is that you either die or give up.

This whole game of society is just a game of power.

So do you want to be an alpha? Great - you're in the right place at least. Just keep in mind that you're most likely not challenging yourself enough if you're always the alpha in all social interactions you have.

PS: thanks for the Gran Torino link /u/NightwingTRP - that movie really is growing on me.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is an interesting alternative angle on things. In a way, it brings up a valuable point about the reality of the society which we have to live in. There are people out there with more structural power than us.

I hope my post brings at least some feeling of important mindset to adopt when trying to remain an independent, high value man while dealing with situations where you don't have the structural dominance.

[–]6482620 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your post is A+ in my book and I only meant to add additional knowledge to it - correcting for the use of the word "alpha". But the part you have about roles is especially golden and refreshing to read. And this part about roles fits good in terms of temporary roles. Sometimes you find yourself in situations where you're better off not trying to be the alpha. As they say; never outshine the master.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The language that we use on TRP suffers the same problem as the language used in philosophy or some science subjects. As an example think about the word intelligence. We all know what intelligence is... now define it. Just stop for a moment and think how you'd define it. Not so easy is it? In fact, among psychological circles they're still arguing about the definition of intelligence. I would say that the use of the term alpha has a similar place among TRP. We've got a good idea what it means, but can't quite define it precisely so we're discussing and refining our ideas.

[–]ModRedSovereign4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The most successful organizations are always those with an extremely capable leader working in a rigid hierarchical environment. Democracy is the very antithesis to this. When you want the best solutions you ask the most elite in their field, not the most popular answers of a collective.

How many people do you think could emulate Steve Jobs? Further, how many here could recreate a sub as successful as this one, without any template to work off of? This isn't brazen dick-sucking, the core reason this sub is where it is is due to the leadership of /u/redpillschool and to a lesser extent, the mods and senior contributors.

TRP has never been, and will never be a democracy, for the exact reasons you've outlined. A military structure works best to managing large numbers of individuals.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

A lot of our Endorsed Contributors fade off with time and I guess you kind of alluded to that in your post somewhat. However I want to challenge you to think of TRP not just as a place where you help men but also as a misogynist writing video game where you determine the win condition.

Write a post that gets the most upvotes.

Write a post that rustles blue pill jimmies.

Write a post that rustles red pill jimmies.

Write about a topic that no one else has covered.

Expand or build upon another post.

Write an over the top fictional red pill story about yourself.

All of these things are fun to try here. I did and in return I have greatly improved my writing in the past two years. Who knows maybe your Red Pilling will lead to a book? In any case writing is an important skill and if you have it I urge you to refine it here as it will help you in the end.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'll be around adding new pieces here and there depending on what interests me. Though I don't think this is where my fiction belongs.

I did and in return I have greatly improved my writing in the past two years. Who knows maybe your Red Pilling will lead to a book? In any case writing is an important skill and if you have it I urge you to refine it here as it will help you in the end.

I don't really see myself writing a red pill book. My editor would agree that the best way to refine your writing skills is to keep practicing. Unfortunately the modern world of literature is very blue pill, so the independent author route would be the way to go to publish anything red pill. I'd be happy to get involved with the editing of anything though.

Bukowski once said "I don't keep writing because I felt I'm so good, but because I felt they're so bad." That seems like reason enough to me to keep writing. If you've got something different to say then say it and see who listens.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Unfortunately the modern world of literature is very blue pill, so the independent author route would be the way to go to publish anything red pill. I'd be happy to get involved with the editing of anything though.

You up for looking at my prose before I send it to be printed? (I'm not there yet, just looking ahead.) Thing is, I only really want help with grammar, eg: syntax and incorrect word usage. Hate editors who substitute words and fuck with the nuance and subtlety of my writing by replacing word choices. If I choose a word I chose it, that's what makes it my writing. But if something is somehow "wrong" linguistically, then obviously that is something I want to be made aware of.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sure, there's various levels of editing but I think I've got an idea that you're looking for a pretty light level. Drop me a sample 2-3 paragraphs from somewhere in the middle of the whole thing (something you think is representative of as much of your writing style as you're likely to get in such a short space) and I'll do you a sample edit so you've got something concrete to make a decision with.

Editing is teamwork rather than one person telling the other what to do. My requirement would simply be that you see from the sample edit what I do/how I approach it and you believe it's enhancing your work. Everything an editor does is a suggestion, you can literally ignore 100% of it if you choose. The point is that you want to be working with someone who you'll agree with 80-90% of what they suggest. Tracking changes makes it all reversible. (100% doesn't happen, or if it did then I'd be concerned about the integrity of your own style.)

If you're just looking for someone to spot typos, then really you just want a proofreader. (Something I can do, but I'm a bit overqualified for.)

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sweet. If you don't check your Reddit regularly, drop me a PM with an e-mail I can reach you on.

[–]apskidb2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like the idea of paying your dues and then giving back when you can. We're all in different stages of TRP and life as a whole.

While I don't like the idea of established bureaucratic hierarchy in TRP, I take your point about waiting for the right moment and seeing where you fit in. It boils down to respect for others within your group, respect for experience, knowledge and wisdom.

That's not to say you shouldn't voice your opinion if it adds value.

[–]Thesegates 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I find it completely ironic that this is posted today... Considering one of the "EC's" treated me in a way you're frowning upon here. So fucking crazy how he broke everyone of your rules here yet you're putting this out to the community instead of directly to your EC's to review first. Wow baffled. How can you expect those to lead the community in the correct direction if you don't start at the top?

Go look at the convo between me and "theultmatecad" in the posting "start lifting and observe the world around you" if you want to see what I mean. Or maybe I'm confused and I'm the dick head here which is something I am of course willing to accept.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Number one: Take a breath.

Based upon your prose I would say that you're actually more worked up than you should be about this. As a courtesy, I've gone away and read through as much of the exchange as I could. There's certainly plenty of blame to go around and while I think he could have handled your behaviour better, it's your responsibility to manage yourself. Not his.

One of the first iron rules of TRP is that the only thing you're in control of is you. You want to be sexually successful? Then you are the one who must change. You're the one who must improve and become the best version of yourself that you can be. It's nothing to do with you to see that the endorsed contributors behave to the best of their abilities or to evaluate their performance. Leave that to the mods and focus on the important thing: yourself.

If you're looking for specifics about your own behaviour, I'll provide a couple now. Skip if you're not interested. I'll finish this with my educated guess on why you're acting like this and a little advice on how to help yourself.

So science is a lie? Do you know what the word calorie is derived from? Kcal? Do you understand the unit of energy in physics and chemistry? You sound like a real conspiracy theorist right now. Explain to me how they find out how much energy is in a food... Where do they come up with how many calories are in, say a handful of almonds?

This reads as incredibly condescending and confrontational. It has no respect for the person it replies to and I believe this is the first reply you made to the ultimate cad. He has stated his position in a fairly blunt fashion without any explanation... that's not great, sure... but it's nowhere near as confrontational as this.

Your other initial reply was:

Unless you study science or have a degree in some type of science related to the body, please just stop now before you tell people false information. Don't be ignorant.

Again, confrontational, condescending and you even throw a veiled insult on the end. It's not useful if you're looking to learn and/or educate anyone on here.

Now since you mention that you've only been here a week or so, I'd say it's a reasonably good estimate to say you're in the anger phase. I remember going through that... you tend to lash out at people needlessly, all the directionless anger makes you much more aggressive than you'd normally be. You'll need to get that under control.

Personally I'd suggest taking a couple of weeks to just read rather than contributing. Specifically looking up resources on the anger phase can help. Then you'll need to try reading your own stuff back to yourself to see if you can objectively spot when your tone slips from serious to confrontational or condescending or even abusive. It's a nuance, but it's an important one. Lastly, but most importantly, you need to forgive yourself for letting your emotions get the better of you - accept that it happens and it is something you'll have to work on. There are posts and books on stoicism which I would recommend as a good way to combat this directly. It won't work overnight, but you seem like the type who will go away and work on something consistently for weeks.

On a more practical note to answer your question:

So fucking crazy how he broke everyone of your rules here yet you're putting this out to the community instead of directly to your EC's to review first. Wow baffled. How can you expect those to lead the community in the correct direction if you don't start at the top?

The mods have enough work to do given the number of posts to the sub every day. They can do without having endorsed and vanguard posts submitted for approval. However you can tell that this posting has been given the thumbs up by the mods - they wouldn't have stickied it otherwise. However, just because something isn't stickied, doesn't mean it doesn't have great value. As you learn to be a dominant man and leader, you've got to make your own choices on what you want to follow. Which drill sergeants you rate and which ones you don't. The advantage is... your classes aren't set, you can switch anytime you like. Arguing with your drill sergeant is a waste of time and effort. Just change class to one you approve of - though if you find you're not approving of any, then perhaps you don't understand the pill as well as you think. There's an additional post on this sort of topic in my history on the Bruce Lee principle. I'm a big supporter of that.

I think I've covered everything here. But don't forget... I'm human and I miss things and make mistakes. Just ask for more explanation if you need it, but note that I'm unlikely to reply if you're condescending, confrontational, disrespectful or abusive. - Much like you can change class... I don't need any specific student in my class. Keep that in mind when you approach the endorsed guys, mods and the vanguard. They're not charging you for their time or advice, so it's a good idea to remember this and show that you appreciate it.

[–]Thesegates 4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks for the detailed response and for taking your time to read the conversation. Good on you to notice two things if nothing else; I let my emotions get the best of me, then, I know how to handle myself but typically either beat myself up about having to hold it in.... Or I'll unleash in a condescending way. The other thing you noticed, I am in the anger phase.

But you left me with some good advice and didn't tell me I was wrong or tried to push me off. The way you responded is how a leader would respond. I shouldn't "expect" this from anyone here... I guess I am wrong to think an EC is anything more than what he considers "good" advice. Not that it matters, he replied to my comment. I didn't come up to him to seek an argument, he reached out to me saying I was wrong originally; that's why I brought it up. You left me with good advice, pointed some things out about me, and a direction I can choose to follow (or not) to better myself. I wouldn't expect anything less from a teacher like yourself... But yes, sometimes I need to switch classes and really use my own instinct of where to go instead of expecting direction. It looks like I am in the right class now. I needed that... It's a flaw in my personality and I know about it. Now I'm going to go read some books on stoicism. Thank you again.

Edit: added a couple sentences

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great advice from Nightwing, and good on you for taking it well.

sometimes I need to switch classes and really use my own instinct of where to go instead of expecting direction.

People sometimes expect others to be the perfect teachers/mentors they need. Make the transition from student to learner and you become less reliant on the quality of teachers. You also abandon the master-slave dynamic that traps most people in power roles, such as teacher-student, parent-child, boss-employee. And once you can get past the power thing, you're free to be both a good leader and a good follower. In other words, a great team player.

Hope that helps.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2224 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know this will get down voted for having nothing to add, but holy fuck I love this sub and the people in it. We all share the common ground of wanting to reach new heights and where other subs fail, we fucking soar. I think I've earned this one. GODSPEED BROTHERS

[–]Weird_Questions921 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

As someone who finds himself falling into the Gronk! Mentality, this is a much needed post.

I think that last bit about not having to be the apex alpha in every situation is crucial. As an INTP, I'm not meant to talk people's ears off. So I can come off as initially alpha, but once I find myself the center of attention, I kinda get stuck there.

In a conversation etc, how do I "pass the ball" and have someone else take center spotlight? Because half the time that I Gronk! Is when I find that I'm simply stuck with everybody's eyes on me

[–]2awalt_cupcake4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

INTJ here. You pass the ball often. If you've noticed, people like to talk about themselves. If I talk in detail, I notice I lose people's attention falter. They'll fidget, look at their phone, or etc. Keep your responses brief. The less you dish out the more mysterious you seem.

[–]Weird_Questions920 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do I pass it though? Just ask some dumbass question?

[–]2awalt_cupcake2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! That's the beauty of the average individual. Ask something that's obvious to you about them and let them go on and on about it.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd advise simple things like asking other people about themselves. Asking them what they've been upto, how their project X is going or whatever really. You can always take command with things like "let's get another round" or "X, come help me with more beers" and leave them to lead the conversation instead. There's a huge number of things you can do when you're in charge of a social group.

Once you're the king, don't be afraid to tell the jester to dance for you.

[–]2awalt_cupcake1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can someone elaborate on Gronk! behaviorisms? I know at this point in my transition that I should trust my gut and I'm ignoring all the nay sayers and doubters. I'm absolutely not taking people's shit any longer. I also do not spend a second worrying how someone will perceive me. Now I'm not stupid either and I'm not going to go and assert my alphaness in any given moment, but I also know not everyone will understand or ever comprehend my newfound boldness and audacity.

[–]1Snivellious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks very much for this. I think better use of corporals and lance corporals (which in some cases could mean less but more effective use) is something TRP can benefit significantly from.

An understanding of these patterns might also help stop the mod-inconveniencing influx of "guess what I just learned!" posts. There are a lot of guys getting their first promotion, and, in the eternal tradition of new brass, deciding to lecture everyone on what they learned. It's unhelpful not because their knowledge is bad, but because it's been far better stated long before they arrived.

It's significant that despite the rule "concern trolls will be deleted on sight" there are useful, ongoing discussions about the direction and merits of TRP. Once you're talking in good faith and learn to make suggestions without challenging superiors, there's plenty of room to say your bit and improve the sub.

[–]zxcvbnmleftme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

" Here on TRP, boys become men. They go from hopeless and unfulfilled to confident and satisfied"

---Amen

[–]flyercomet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've got to write a post of the mixed-up muddled-up gynocracy that is burning man sometime soon. You've inspired me. Still licking my wounds from over a week in the desert but there's quality content in here somewhere. Leadership is important in all men who strive to improve themselves. And within the survival game that is black rock city it is more important than ever.

[–]Jibouti0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've learnt what I need to learn. I've enacted what I need to enact. I have a solid understanding of theory so, without being humble about it, I believe I can explain and pass it on to boys who are now in a similar position to the one I used to be in.

"While we teach, we learn." - Seneca

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been here for a couple months now and I've tried to make a point of keeping my mouth shut. On that note, this is fantastically written. Collaboration with a deep-rooted respect is something I've definitely seen lacking in a lot of my male friends. I'm certainly going to try and forward this information to them. Or rather, forward them to this information. I'm still learning and don't want to butcher this excellent message.

[–]Totsean0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do like questioning authority when it's doing something that will make things difficult in the long run, however there is a way to voice it and you got to prove it with some data.

I like this sub, it has helped me so much. I prefer being a team member, we're all brothers here. Just making our place in this world.

[–]Dmenol0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good post, I never comment as of yet, but slowly digesting the pill

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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