I'm 32 and I've been living in a mid sized city in Romania. Over the past month and a half I've slept with six different chicks but one of them really stuck and I've been seeing her almost exclusively over the past 2 or 3 weeks.

Everything was going really smoothly up until the other night. She was all about me - texting and calling all the time, getting jealous about other girls (she actually asked me mid sex if I was fucking other girls from Tinder), complementing my looks, my cock, my humor, the works. The whole time I was still pursuing other girls and wasn't too concerned if she was fucking other guys, although we were spending a lot of time together and the bonding process was underway.

Fast forward to the other night when I went over to her place and she cooked me a delicious lamb meal and we started drinking a heavy amount of red wine. After the meal she felt the need to bust out the old photo albums to reminisce about her childhood and university days. Somehow all the reminiscing lead to a conversation of her relationship history and that lead to a talk about her ex bf who she dated for 9 years (she's 30).

Apparently for the last 6 years of the 9 year relationship she was unable to have vaginal orgasms because the ex busted up her vaginal wall one night. They hadn't seen each other in a month because of work/travel commitments so it was assumed by the ex that it would be a sex marathon upon reuniting, but as it turned out she was tired from all the travel and not in the mood. Well, she let him fuck her dry hole anyway because he was "very overbearing".

Where things took a turn for the worse was when she started describing the relationship pre-vag bustage. She told me all about how he was the first guy to ever give her vaginal orgasms and she would "see stars and blackout". I started thinking he must have a huge cock. She said those three years were absolute bliss, having multiple mind blowing orgasms daily. They were "perfect for each other". She went on to say that after the vaginal damage was done and she was unable to have sex or the same caliber of sex anyway, she allowed him to start fucking other girls. For years he went on banging countless women while still in a relationship with her. I asked how he got all these women not being a great looking guy and she went on to describe all of his amazing (alpha) personality traits. She basically described him as a dark triad.

Hearing all of this and being fairly wasted off of a bottle of wine, I had a really strong jealous reaction. It was the first time I felt strong jealousy in years. Mind you this was the first sort-of relationship I've been in for years. The familiar rush of adrenaline, anger and anxiety took over my mind, clouding any rational thought. As usual, I had an overwhelming desire to leave the situation. To get away from the source of my emotional turmoil. So I did, but I never told her why. I said I was tired and a bit drunk so I wanted to go home.

As I walked home I got a firestorm of text messages caused by her own sexual jealousy. I had got a few text messages on my phone earlier in the night that she heard, so she thought I was leaving to go fuck some other girl. I knew I was in no state to respond in a constructive way so I ignored all 8 texts and 3 missed calls. She texted me again at 4:30 am and this time, after things had cooled off a bit, I decided to answer. We talked on the phone and I explained to her that I didn't leave to go fuck any other girls, it was just that all that talk of her ex bf brought back some negative emotions from a past relationship of mine (I had previously told her that my ex cheated on me).

So we got together the next day and had a ton of sex as usual and I left in the afternoon on the following day but things were noticeably different. To start I basically invited myself over and she excused me the next day saying she had a prior commitment. Both of these were firsts. Also, all of her talk of wanting more commitment out of me ceased. Previously she had mentioned us spending the holidays together and even trying to get me to move in with her for free. That was Sunday and I haven't seen her since. I've only received a few sparse texts and one call since then. I'm trying to act aloof to see if I can regain frame but it's looking like I'll never see her again.

I'm struggling with a few things. Namely:

  • In that situation, should I have just stayed and denied the jealous reaction and let the feelings eventually fade away?

  • Once you've pair bonded with a girl, is it possible to not have those instinctual jealous reactions?

  • Every time I get jealous the after effects end in me chasing her. A frame reversal if you will. It's like the jealousy solidifies the pair bond.

  • I realize mate guarding is a beta trait but sexual jealousy is also an evolutionarily built in instinct that all humans can experience. How does the RP reconcile that difference?

The thing is she's about 85% unicorn but is clearly an Alpha Widow so I'm really regretting how this turned out. She doesn't have a big group of slutty friends, she's introverted, family oriented, great in bed, good values, etc..

Any advice is much appreciated.