Months ago, I posted a Tale of Privilege over in /r/TalesofPrivilege that has since become 4chan copypasta. Here's some of the reviews:

Probably the best written green text ever

10/10 Would oppress again

I read this, went directly home, and oppressed my wife. It was glorious. 10/10

I now present it to you in its original, unedited form. Enjoy!


> Be lifeguarding

> Slow day, pass time cracking walnuts in my massively oppressive mitts and chewing bison jerky with my lantern jaw.

> Feel a stirring in my trunks. It's my privilege antenna. The beginnings of tumescence.

> Rise majestically, like a sliverback from his slumber. My boner does the same.

> Scan the horizon, stroking the 5 o'clock shadow adorning my visage. It's barely noon.

> See thrashing out by the buoy. A female in distress.

> A patriarchal grin creeps across my face.

> I growl as I leap from my perch onto the sands below, fully engourged.

> Displaced air from my landing spreads my testosterone and adrenaline amongst the beach goers.

> Young boys begin furiously building giant sand castles around weeping young girls.

> Run towards the shore. My adrenaline has triggered fight-or-flight responses up and down the beach.

> Women now see me sprint in the most masculine of slow motions. Their tears dot the sand beneath them.

> Praise be to Father Time, the original patriarch.

> Dive into the ocean, use my still growing erection as a surfboard.

> Reach the distressed female. She is unconscious. Put her on my penisboard and oppress Mother Nature by riding her waves back shore.

> The sand castles of the young boys, now young men, have now merged and become sand cities. The young girls have burqa'd themselves with their beach towels and do not leave their sand houses.

> Rise from the sea, cradling the unconscious female. Seaweed graces my broad shoulders. My trunks, made by Malaysian women, have evaporated under the weight of my oppressive dong.

> Hippie female co-lifeguard runs towards me. "I-I-I'll..."

> "Go back and call an ambulance. And get me some water," I below.

> "S-s-s-orry"

> I lay the unconscious female on the sand and deftly resuscitate her.

> The young men have created sand militaries and are now openly warring and masturbating. All females present have become six months pregnant and only posses 0.7 sand dollars for every 1 sand dollar of the men.

> Rescued female comes to. She sees my hairy barrel chest and whimpers, "I-I-I o-owe y-y-y-y-ou m-my l-l-l-li-"

> Lay one finger upon her lips

> "Shhhhhh. Don't be silly, it was..."

> Off in the distance, a pod of dolphins engage in violent gang rape.

> Volcanoes begin ejaculating white hot ropes of lava.

> The young men, now wizened and battle-hardened, begin beating their hairy chests in unison, drowning out the lamentations of their pregnant women.

> "...my privilege."