One of the things we say A LOT here on TRP is:
"You have to get over your need for external validation, especially from women."
This is true and correct advice, but it is premature for the vast majority of you. The reason it is premature is a bit ironic: the path to overcoming the need for external validation starts with....external validation.
The reason for this is simple. If you believed "I am fast", running a footrace against others and winning is the only way to prove it. Thus, being fast is about being faster than others, which is itself a belief verified by external validation.
Being attractive is not different, but there's a catch, and it's what TRP is all about. In order to believe "I am sexually attractive", you have to convince women to have sex with you. At first, you absolutely will be using the external validation of women to build your belief that you are an attractive man.
The catch is - you'll stay blue forever and continue to have terrible relationships (short or long term) if you cannot move past the NEED for validation.
The key to overcoming the need is to internalize the belief.
Think of the fast guy. If he challenges everyone he sees to a footrace, you'd probably think he's fucking annoying. He is annoying because of his constant need to prove to everyone that he's fast, rather than comfortably knowing it about himself and expressing it in valid and healthy ways like a track and field event.
Now think about yourself. If you constantly seek and require the approval of the women around you, you'll be really fucking annoying too. Neediness is not only unattractive, it also puts you in a position of weakness in your relationships. By internalizing the belief that you are attractive, you can express it openly and honestly, and you'll be rewarded with beneficial relationships (short or long term) as a result.
When you believe "I am attractive" and the proof comes from within (i.e. the belief itself is your proof), you'll take an important step towards being man.
Conclusions
- Embrace your initial need for external validation - you have to "prove it" to believe it
- Once you've "proved it", internalize the belief to move past the need
- When the belief is enough all on its own, your success with women will go up exponentially
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