There was a recent TRP thread titled "women will refuse to tell a guy they don't want a relationship." That thread encouraged me to reflect on the fact that even being put in the "friendzone" doesn't mean she truly considers you a friend.
I commented on that thread, but I feel this topic deserves it's own thread, so I'm gonna post a modified version of my comment:
Whenever guys complain about the friendzone, girls will get all indignant and ask "what's wrong with just wanting a guy as a friend?" but often time guys in the "friendzone" aren't even true friends. If girls want true friends, they have their gay and female friends. The same way that guys usually turn to fellow males if they want actual friendship.
So when a girl says "you're a really nice guy, can we just be friends?" she (often) doesn't actually want you as a true friend. She just wants you to be a beta orbiter/emotional tampon, and there's a huge difference. So it's not just that she's getting the emotional validation from you she wants without giving you love/sex, but you're putting in the hard part of a friendship.
And let's be honest, why should they give you more? If you're in this position, you're settling for whatever she gives you, no matter how little it is. If there was a girl who kept on giving you sex and you were comfortable keeping as a FWB/plate, would you think about turning her into an LTR when she's already putting out and seems to have settled for that?
Don't believe me? If you've currently been friendzoned by a girl, just try to actually treat her like a friend and see what happens. Try to get her to do normal friend stuff with you, like hanging out. If you're not talking about her problems or giving her compliments, there's a good chance she'll suddenly be a lot less interested in hanging, even if she knows you have no romantic intents.
Or better yet, just get out of there as fast as you can and move on with your life. I don't care if you're the stereotypical virgin/fat/neckbeard type. Have a sense of dignity and stop letting people take advantage of you by giving away so much time and energy to them for free.
I'm not saying you can't be platonic friends with a female, but it should be on your terms. Not only will girls who've friendzoned you leave you constantly wishing for more, but as I've said, chances are they're not even your friends in the end. When a girl says "can we just be friends?" what she's usually saying is "I already have girl friends and men I'm truly interested in, but I don't want to hurt your feelings so I'm going to act as if we're at least friends."
Swallowing TRP can be hard, but once you've been unplugged, no one's expecting you to turn into Mr. Alpha overnight. The first step isn't even necessarily being confident making yourself look better through exercise/a better wardrobe. Those are just symptoms of the true first step: treating yourself with the respect you deserve. Start respecting yourself by being friends with the people you actually want to be friends with, and avoiding people who are just going to leave you frustrated and unfulfilled.
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