~ archived since 2018 ~

Sic Parvis Magna: How to Triumph Over Loneliness and Hardship During Your Red Pill Transformation

September 23, 2014
82 upvotes

/u/nowboarding wrote a good post which is, as of this posting, still stickied to the front page. In his post, he touches on how the transformation from Blue to Red Pill takes great time, effort, and patience. Becoming a man in the top 10% is largely considered one of the greatest feats you can achieve among us Redpillers. But it's hard to remain disciplined without at least some intermittent rewards to keep you motivated.

As men, one of the finest rewards we can receive is recognition for our efforts. Given that self-development is a slow process, people won't usually notice that you're doing anything differently, even though on the inside you may be undergoing great suffering and pain as you change your diet, your habits, your demeanour, and your approach to life and relationships. The fact that people can't see all the effort you're going to means you will rarely receive encouragement or praise.

What's worse: The Red Pill teaches us that men are only valued and praised for their achievements. But you're still a novice, an acolyte, an initiate. You're building equity, but you haven't yet had the time or experience to really achieve something worth praise. It's idiosyncratic. The time in your life when you most need encouragement is also the time in your life when you are least likely to get it.

Now, it's easy to say "fuck what other people think", but let's be real here: it's nice to hear praise. It feels good when someone takes notice of all the effort you're going through. Unless you're a dyed-in-the-wool psychopath with no capacity for empathy whatsoever, peer recognition is a powerful motivator. It renews your determination and keeps you on track in your self-development. It's a big boost. And for a feat as daunting as rebuilding an entire life, a certain amount of positive feedback is necessary in order to overcome the occasional setbacks, momentary defeats, and painstaking tedium.

So, how the hell do you deal with the loneliness and neglect that inevitably threatens to make you stray off the path to becoming the man you were always meant to be?

The answer is this: don't take the journey alone.

1) Share the company of men whose lives you wish to have, and learn by example.

Surround yourself with the kind of men you admire. Men with skill and talent. Men with determination and courage. Men with big social networks in fields/industries that you wish to pursue. Spend your free time in their company, and learn by watching, analyzing, and mimicking.

Where do you go to find men like these? Look in your place of work, your family, your church, your school, or local community groups. The internet is also a beautiful tool in this regard. There are thousands of forums and communities out there where guys get together to talk about the things they love. You must be proactive and reach out. Try to focus on subjects with a predominantly-male user base.

As an example, I joined up with a community of guys who like knives, flashlights, multi-tools, guns, bags, paintball/airsoft, motorcycles, men's jewelry, and other guy interests. It's a tightly-knit community populated by a lot of masculine men who take their gender roles, their work, and their hobbies very seriously. I spend a lot of leisure time hanging out with them, sharing stories and showing off new knives and toys.

And remember, just because you're not accomplished in something doesn't mean you can't be a student to a man who is. Many men take great pride in being able to teach, and if you prove to be both friendly and attentive they'll often appreciate the opportunity to be a mentor.

2) Spend time with friends who are also building themselves up.

The other thing you can do to keep yourself disciplined is to hang out with other Red Pill friends who are also in the process of rebuilding themselves. It works the same way as having a workout partner - and sometimes they literally will be a workout partner. By confronting the same challenge of self-development, you can hold each other accountable for your workouts, wing for each other when you go out, point out flaws in each others' approaches/body language, and monitor each others' progress.

Alternatively, if you don't have any friends who are Red Pill at present, you can begin rehabilitating those friends who you believe to have the most potential to awaken. Introduce them gradually. Begin by inviting them to be a workout partner, or to help you restore a car every Thursday afternoon - something with a set schedule and regular meetings. When you hang out, offer Red Pill insights whenever the subjects of women, dating, sex, or self-improvement come up. It is often said there is no better way to learn something than by teaching it, so take it as an opportunity to test your mastery of the basics and see if a novice can learn from you.

As your friend gains a foothold and accepts the Red Pill, he can become a peer and together you can continue to hold one another accountable for your progress.

3. Never stop approaching, even during your developmental years.

This is fucking key. You should never stop approaching women. You may feel tempted to use your self-perceived low SMV as an excuse to hold off on practicing your approaches. DON'T. This is a pussy-bitch rationalization around confronting your social anxiety.

Get out there and interact with women. Take every conversation with a woman as an opportunity to learn something. Flirt with every woman you talk with, even if you have no intention of bedding her - just do it for the practice. If AWALT, then all interactions with women can be templated into a working format from which you can repetitively gain insight and experience.

Remember, it's difficult to put a hard number to someone's SMV. And even so, people don't react to your SMV. They react to their perception of your SMV. This is where the philosophy of fake it til you make it comes into play.

As you go through the process of becoming the man you want to be, ask yourself: how does that man walk? How does that man talk? How does he approach women? How does he behave under pressure? What are some of his most basic, fundamental beliefs about sex, relationships, duty, responsibility, morality? Then, take your answers to these questions and begin LIVING them. Adopt them as your own. You will discover that as you adopt these beliefs and holdfast to them, they slowly become a part of you. As you wear a mask, it eventually becomes your real face, affecting your demeanour and your attitude. This fact is tragically true of Blue Pillers and explains why they're unmasculine in spite of their natural instincts...but it also explains how you can overcome the female agenda's plan for you, and become the man you were always meant to be.

The truth is, self-development only truly ends when you set foot in the grave. You'll always try and use the excuse that you're not good enough yet, that you still have progress to make before you'll be good enough to approach women. Stow that bullshit right now.

Most importantly of all, don't keep your eyes fixed on the horizon. It's a daunting thing to look at how far you still have to go. And no matter how good you get, there will always be ways for you to improve.

Don't look at how far you have left to go. Instead, look at how far you've come. That should be the meter stick of your progress. Keep your eyes closer to the present, and find ways to enjoy what you're doing right now. It will make the journey feel much less intimidating - and I guarantee you, one day you'll suddenly notice how different your life seems, how confident and comfortable you feel, how beautiful your girlfriends are, how many people seem to look up to you. You will feel fulfillment. REAL fulfillment.

And the rest of the world will be in awe of the man you are. The man you were always meant to be.

Sic parvis magna. Greatness from small beginnings.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/TheRedPill.

/r/TheRedPill archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title Sic Parvis Magna: How to Triumph Over Loneliness and Hardship During Your Red Pill Transformation
Author HumanSockPuppet
Upvotes 82
Comments 13
Date September 23, 2014 2:29 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/sic-parvis-magna-how-to-triumph-over-loneliness.21612
https://theredarchive.com/post/21612
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2h6vni/sic_parvis_magna_how_to_triumph_over_loneliness/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Great post.

And the rest of the world will be in awe of the man you are...

Sounds great, put don't expect it. Most people (women + bluepillers = majority) are filled with envy. They look to find the vulnerability of a high achiever to pull him back down, or at least find some flaw they can cackle smugly about.

Like you said, find a better crowd; men that you aspire to be like.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds great, put don't expect it. Most people (women + bluepillers = majority) are filled with envy. They look to find the vulnerability of a high achiever to pull him back down, or at least find some flaw they can cackle smugly about.

These people are overtly poisonous and very easy to spot. It is very easy to avoid them or shut them down if they threaten to make a social situation awkward.

I wouldn't have believed it either, but I've received reactions from people which could be rightly described as awe, and it caught me by surprise.

To most people, being strong and self-actualized is a magic trick precisely because they don't see the effort that goes into cultivating it. The attitude that makes them reluctant to compliment a fat man who is working out in his private time is precisely the same attitude that makes them look at a fit man and envy his "natural gift for fitness".

[–]sir_wankalot_here5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds great, put don't expect it. Most people (women + bluepillers = majority) are filled with envy. They look to find the vulnerability of a high achiever to pull him back down, or at least find some flaw they can cackle smugly about.

Most people are yellow bellied two faced sacks of shit. To your face the will be all smiles and sucking your cock. But the moment they think you are going to take a fall, they will be behind you to give a shove.

The blue pill pussy you helped out, instead of growing a set of balls, he secretly grows resentful.

[–]Complecs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Taylor swift says it pretty good in her song 'mean'. "One day I'll be big enough so you cant hit me"

Those toxic people are below me, so i do not care.

[–]Patriarchysaurus 4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I would like to commend this post, as it's something I've internalized and ruminated over since I first accepted theredpill into my heart. But I do see some issues:

  1. Share the company of men whose lives you wish to have, and learn by example.

I often find these types of men already have their circles, and of course they do--they're alpha and social acumen is already in place. Emulating only goes so far, and trying out someone else's mannerisms and sense of style only serves to make you look like a poseur. It is also difficult to gain their respect, even as an unspoken disciple, because questions and honesty can often have the unintended consequence of revealing how bad your cards are really stacked (even innocuous ones, not e.g. "how do you get women to like you??")--leading them to reevaluate having you in their presence at all. They will scrutinize and evaluate you just as much as a woman would (albeit differently). While not necessarily hard to find, unless you can gain some common ground, it's also exceedingly hard to build a friendship with someone unless they desire you or your capabilities, so it's a bit of a catch-22. Becoming a toady or brown-noser only lowers their respect for you, and challenging banter in response to negs can turn them against you.

  1. Never stop approaching, even during your developmental years.

This, while great in theory, can be a double-edged sword. Getting blown out will thicken your skin, might teach you a thing or two, and will certainly shake your frame--but seeing things go right and then having a woman discover your initial appeal to be fleeting, like the façade of an exotic wood table with a balsa-wood base, can be extremely disheartening. You feel like a faker, who at any moment could be revealed. Worse is knowing beforehand that you can't possibly extend your interactions to your home, or talk about your work/hobbies, or discuss a past/present that you know is shameful. You know as soon as the questions come out, deflection and agreeing/amplifying can only get you so far. It's hard to fake the confidence supplied by really having an ace. Unless you're great at maintaining elaborate lies and ruses, that is. For someone down on their luck, keeping ones head down can be safer than flaunting an overly-ambitious low SMV.

This would never work in the real world: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

"Elaine, bald men with no jobs and no money; who live with their parents, don't approach strange women."

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

and trying out someone else's mannerisms and sense of style only serves to make you look like a poseur.

It's not about emulating their mannerisms or style. It's about seeing what attitudes have made them successful, and learning to cultivate those attitudes in yourself. Outward appearance is not a substitute for understanding what makes strength of character.

It is also difficult to gain their respect, even as an unspoken disciple, because questions and honesty can often have the unintended consequence of revealing how bad your cards are really stacked (even innocuous ones, not e.g. "how do you get women to like you??")--leading them to reevaluate having you in their presence at all. They will scrutinize and evaluate you just as much as a woman would (albeit differently).

You don't have to gain someone's respect to learn from them, or even to join their social circle.

I once earned the respect of a man I greatly admired, simply because I dared to try my hand at something difficult with no concern for how foolish I looked in the process. He told me so afterwards.

It's hard to fake the confidence supplied by really having an ace. Unless you're great at maintaining elaborate lies and ruses, that is. For someone down on their luck, keeping ones head down can be safer than flaunting an overly-ambitious low SMV.

Lying about your life condition is the worst approach you can take when trying to seduce a woman. Doing so implies shame and a lack of confidence.

You must become comfortable with the state that you are in, however dire or unimpressive it may seem to you. Shitty apartment and dirt poor, living with your parents, homeless - whatever your circumstance, you must accept it and be comfortable with it. It's HARD, but necessary.

The Red Pill has demonstrated time and again that even homeless men can get laid regularly. It's their attitudes that win them the day.

[–]CRUSHPUSSY_MARRYAMAN0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You should never stop approaching women. You may feel tempted to use your self-perceived low SMV as an excuse to hold off on practicing your approaches. DON'T. This is a pussy-bitch rationalization around confronting your social anxiety.

I desperately needed to hear this. Thank you.

[–]Rougepellet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love this place. New stuff, at least for us newbies, to internalize everyday. Great post.

don't keep your eyes fixed on the horizon.

A really big problem for me. Didnt realize it u till now.

[–]Monobrow020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MaxPower6-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Remember it's difficult to put a hard number to someone's SMV

You lost me here. I don"t think it's difficult at all. It's not for me and it's probably even less so for women who are more selective than men.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I disagree. Anyone can calculate surface appearances.

How many of us have been surprised by an attractive woman who seemed a bitch on the surface, but turned out to be a kind woman who skillfully wields a bitch shield? How many of us have been surprised by a strong, fit man who one day winces before his nagging, self-entitled wife?

What you observe in five or ten minutes is never the whole story.

[–]sir_wankalot_here1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Uhuh. Most people form a judgement of you in 5 seconds or less, and regardless of future information they are hesitant to change it.

[–]MaxPower60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anyone can calculate surface appearances.

Yes. That's what SMV is. The HB9 who is bitchy is still a HB9.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2022. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter