Hey guys,

Ok...so you've noticed that usually, when you talk to a girl, her eyes tend to glaze over after about 30 seconds. Even though she responded well at first...somehow she's losing interest quickly. Until she starts to look around for an excuse to leave. Why is this happening? There are two possible reasons:

  1. She just put her glasses on and realized that you've got a strange face.

  2. You're boring her.

Given that you can't do anything about Reason 1 lets focus on Reason 2: You're boring her. How are you boring her?

Well, scientifically speaking, everything that is expected by the other person's brain and then happens is likely to bore it. (Unless of course it's got an element of pleasure in it and in that case it turns into "anticipation" and "reward") Confused? I give you an example:

How excited and stimulated do you get when you meet someone that asks you things like: "So, do you come here often?" or "So, what do you do for a living?" or my favorite: "So, where are you from?"?

Not very. Unless she's rubbing the inside of your leg at the same time. It's boring at worst and unstimulating at best. And when you answer you are going through the motions. And if girls habitually zone out after half a minute of talking to you it's likely that you're not stimulating her brain or anything else. And they go through the motions with you.

SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

You should avoid playing it safe and talking like you assume you should talk in order to be like everyone else. More specifically you should avoid saying all the things that men typically say in the way that they typically say them...like asking the kind of questions above. You should stimulate her brain and her emotions when you speak to her.

AND HOW DO YOU DO THAT, EXACTLY?

By surprising her, constantly putting something new into the conversation, initiating a new topic, aiming to have an impact on her, being in what I call an "active communication mindset". But right now I want to give you one key strategy, that if you just remember this you'll be on the right track:

SAY IT DIFFERENTLY!

That is the easiest way to stimulate her brain, her mind and her emotions whenever you talk to a girl and because it's so simple you can remember it instantly. So here are a few examples:

Instead of saying: "So what do you do for a living?" say: "What do you do for cash?" Instead of asking her: "what's your name?" say: "What does your mom call you?" Instead of saying: "Can I have your number please?" you might say: "So I guess I should take your number..." and pretend that you've GOT to do it to not be impolite.

As I said: JUST SAY IT DIFFERENTLY.

(And of course, right now, forget what I just said as examples...because you should challenge yourself to come up with new ways of saying things by yourself!) Look...if you're always saying what the safest, commonest way of saying that thing is, you WILL bore women. And your friends too. You will even BORE YOURSELF. So challenge yourself to get playful, inventive and have a bit of fun by coming up with DIFFERENT ways of saying or asking what you're saying or asking.

Do this ONE thing and you'll notice how women's reactions totally change. Best thing? You'll actually start ENJOYING having conversations with people including cute women.

WHAT TO DO NOW?

Try it out. In your everyday conversations. Practice "saying it differently". It helps to enjoy the process. When you go shopping, when you speak to people on the phone, when you're at university or when you're talking to your friends.

Challenge yourself to SAY IT DIFFERENTLY.