~ archived since 2018 ~

Stop complaints and rants

December 11, 2014
99 upvotes

100% success rate in stopping annoying complaints since I started using it. Such an easy fix to quiting beta.

Tl;dr - respond. "So what are you going to do about it"

http://lifehacker.com/handle-complainers-by-asking-them-how-they-intend-to-fi-1651470426

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Post Information
Title Stop complaints and rants
Author demilitarizdsm
Upvotes 99
Comments 26
Date December 11, 2014 12:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-complaints-and-rants.26206
https://theredarchive.com/post/26206
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2oyt10/stop_complaints_and_rants/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The quick fix to this that I have been utilizing for a while now is to cut them off as soon as their complaint goes beyond a tolerable level and simply ask, "So what's the next step?" Usually they are taken aback by someone who is willing to confront them (confrontation is a good thing) and then they will do one of 2 things.

1) Stop speaking and therefore quit bitching.

2) Ask you what you mean?

If they ask you what you mean then you have the perfect opportunity to lay down some life advice.

If they have a problem, what is the next step they have to take to fix said problem

A similar area this comes up in is health.

"I'm fat, I'm slow, I'm weak, etc." - "So what's the next step?"

Lift, run, jump, etc.

I hate complainers so I make it my mission to cut them off as quickly as they start and try and help them get to the root cause of the problem and then come up with a solution.

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[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Absolutely, I don't want to go on a tirade as the message has already been put out there and more importantly most people here have already applied this to their life so the issue isn't with the people here.

WE control our fate. WE take the steps necessary to progress from where we are to where we want to be. WE put in the work, so WE have no reason to ever complain.

[–]Glenbert22 points23 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Critical question: does this work on your LTR? Because in my experience it just leads them to create pie-in-the-sky bullshit solutions. Such as starting a cupcake business.

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[–]Glenbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Did that with most of my gfs. They always wanted me to listen. But the current GF actually wants advice. Unicorn?

[–]1User-31f64a4e3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, complaints (not about you) from an LTR can be comfort testing, to see if you have her back. So have it. You don't have to fix anything or solve anything; just listen, toss in one or two questions, and offer support.

[–]OakTr3E0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not much job to do being a good listener, actually.

Yeah I realized this too in my BP LTR relationship. However, you need to know when to confront her. Because the listening part will seem like an irrational thing to do (not suggesting fixes) and you run the risk of getting used to her emotional behaviour. This in turn can make you unable to detect bullshitting (you start getting "trained" to putting up with her irrational/emotional rollercoaster).

At least thats my experience. Be wary of doing too much listening. It often means you will restrict yourself from telling her that her passiveness is ok. She knows she can continue getting caught in solvable problems and that you are there to give her comfort in those times and not telling her how to fix them.

If you fix all her problems, then what will she need you for once she reaches that point you stupid man-you? :P

Sorry about the incoherence. It´s morning here but I hope I got a few points across. Listening can be good but don't overuse it. Realize that you will have to give up on "helping/encouraging her" in order for her to be able to get the feeling of "leaning on her rock of a man every now and then".

She doesn't want to become independent, don't teach her how to.

[–]redpilltom2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My girlfriend literally said this when she was complaining about her future.

[–]2wiseclockcounter4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No joke, same here. Fucked up thing is I got roped into it as well. Bad head space all around. Investing my non-existent money in baking pans and flour and that fucking sugar dough people sculpt with! I wish I was lying... the ONE cake we got paid for was a giant penis cake. Easily the most 'wtf' period of my life looking back.

EDIT: Proof 1 and Proof 2 That was supposed to be cum but the butter turned it yellow when we cooked it...

[–]Glenbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's really amazing, isn't. My GF is the least herd-like woman I've ever met, but she still came up with this shit. I made so much fun of her for actually suggesting it.

[–]link50571 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Could I get context on when starting such a business would fix any issue other than not having reached the life goal of starting it

[–]xiko7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

In a ltr I use the following advice: When the ltr starts talking about something I ask her if she wants advice or if she just wants to vent. It is great.

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If we're in a public place I'll scan the horizon over her shoulder to look at other women. She'll stop jabbering and turn around to see who or what I'm looking at. It breaks her momentum enough for me to change the subject. Most of the time, women complain about bullshit that doesn't need to be addressed. Don't give her any validation.

[–]spjjj2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, this advice could be applied to this entire sub. People need to stop talking about women, bitching about women, and acting like whiny, pussy crybabies. Every topic that complains about the nature of women or some such other pointless bullshit pushes down a topic that is actually useful in helping someone. Take it to r/mensrights If you want to bitch and moan about the "nature" of women.

[–]dntdxxmbr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

True. But...

This whole sub is an answer to "What are you going to do next?" Most of the complainers here are still in the anger phase, and they get plenty of advice on what to do next when they ask for it and even when they don't.

So, to address your complaint about crybabies:

What are you going to do next?

EDIT:

This was my doing next to MY pet peeve, people that complain about complainers. Piece of advice: You don't have to read every post of every thread like some kind of autistic OCD robot. If a thread or comment doesn't interest you don't read it. Unless you ARE an autistic OCD robot, then YOUR what next should be to see some kind of help with that.

EDIT2: In the spirit of taking next steps, I have saved the text of this post so I can repost it when ever a crybaby cries about crybabies.

[–]spjjj0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess what I'm going to do is stop reading this sub, because I got what I needed out of it and I can move on with my life.

[–]Thizzlebot1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"So what are you going to do about it"

Oh god I fucking love this response. My best friend who is a marine says it occasionally when we are out. He says it to people that mouth off (with a huge grin on his face) as a joke but at the same time it's kinda not a joke because if they want to step he will destroy them. It's fucking great.

[–]sexist_mgtow_pig-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Guys who don't go looking for it and only use force to defend themselves have my respect, if I punched everyone in the mouth who I felt deserved it i'd be in prison with multiple assult charges by now,

A smart man knows when to hold them, when to fold them and when to humble a dickhead who's begging for it !!

If I wanted to prove I was a tough guy, i'd do what normal people do and join mma and fight for money and the belt ! if you're a great fighter you can win organised fights right ?

This applies ten fold to those dickheads who throw their weight around in highschool, if that was me and I wanted to fight i'd jump on the biggest dog I could find and have a competitive fight with, and challenge them to a fight outside of school,

The more people I could find who wanted to fight the better ! I would than set a date for the fights to take place and charge people to watch the fight ! the more fights the more I charge and the winners get the money ! simple but awesome right ? you get to fight and show everyone what you're made off, you're fighting someone who can fight back so people respect you more and best of all you make money from it !

TLDR: they call them meatheads for a reason, no brains whatsoever

[–]Thizzlebot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He's joking unless someone else starts it, you need to calm down son.

[–]jolly--roger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

minirant: the link you provided (lifehacker) leads to a Gawker media site. how about we don't give views to scum and use http://archive.today ?

/minirant

[–]DawnoftheShred0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel like I have a problem with complaining. It's something I'm conscious of and want to fix.

There are some things that annoy me at work and I periodically need to vent about them, but they aren't things that I can change, unless my boss will 'man up' and change it.

I'm wondering where the line is between being straightforward or talking about an issue, and just being someone that others will dismiss as a complainer?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The difference (to me) is the intended result: are you looking for a solution and/or a plan that you can then act on? Or are you simply cutting down the behaviors/personalities of people you interact with, and criticizing your situation without trying to be objective and constructive? If you are asking for advice on how to fix something or how someone else would respond to situations/people - then that's a constructive discussion. If you're looking for sympathy, or if you want someone to join in on taking pot-shots at others - then you're complaining. Sometimes complaining can turn into a productive discussion and similarly - a productive discussion can deteriorate into complaining. Be mindful of your intent, stick to facts, and have an end goal in mind.

[–]nologicintheworld0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

From experience,I know it works best to do this. It may sound harsh to some people that you don't sympathize with them,but In the long run I hope they realize we just stopped them from becoming a bigger pussybyhan they were.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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