Summary: Girl in 5 year relationship goes serial cheating. Rationalization follows that it is all the guy's fault.
Body:
Let me first say that I don't think posts such as this necessarily add a whole ton of substance to the community. That said, it was things like this that initially made swallowing the pill much easier for myself and I hope it will break others out of their fairy tale as well.
Link to full post
Girl has been with guy six years since age 19. He was her first.
He asked me out. Lost my v-card to him. We became best friends. I was VERY into sex, and he wasn't as sexual of a person.
Doesn't sound too terrible so far.
During year 5 of our relationship, we only had sex once per month.
Well that red flag came up fast. You need to sex your woman well or she will find it elsewhere.
7 months ago, I joined a dating app, just to browse, because I was just curious.
Ahh she was "just curious." Listen to her actions not her words.
I met a guy off there. We had sex and it was AMAZING.
That didn't take long.
Even though the sex was amazing, he was a mean guy, so I started to seek out other men to make myself feel better. He and I hooked up for 5 months.
Be Chad. She was with him for 5 whole months before she "realized" he was a mean guy.
She goes on to talk about a few other hookups and relationships with guys who "won't give us a chance" all while still being engaged.
I didn't use condoms with any of the long term guys, because they pressured me and I was depressed and didn't care. It's a miracle I don't have an STD.
Chad doesn't even have to use condoms if he doesn't want to. Lots of hamstering going on there too.
All the while, my "fiancé" never made an effort to see where I was all those Friday nights. If I said I was tired and staying in, he didn't question me.
This is why we "trust but verify."
I tried to give things another shot with him [the fiancé] this weekend. He tried to have sex with me, and I felt used and DISGUSTING, and didn't have sex with him. It makes me sick that he can go 6 months without sex, but decide he wants it, and thinks I just will go for it. I feel more used by him, than the men who actually use me for sex. And I don't understand why.
She felt disgusting with her fiancé. She felt used by him. Now why could that be??
He has also let himself go physically. He has gained 50 lbs and has an unkept beard.
Ahh that's why. Literally the very next paragraph. The female mind knew the answer even before the question.
I hate myself for cheating on him. But I hate him for not making me feel attractive or like a woman, and for not working to move our lives together forward.
Spoiler alert: she doesn't hate herself for cheating. Notice the immediate blame-shift and how much more she talks about hating him than herself.
Also, having sex with your woman makes her feel attractive so it's a win/win for you to do it.
And he is a truly good man who loves me.
She finishes with describing that her beta still loves her and she wants to make this work. For some reason I don't think it will.
Lessons Learned:
-Sex your woman well.
-Listen to her actions not words.
-Being Chad has so many benefits. Lift or be this fiancé. You choose.
-Never blindly trust women. It will always lead to disappointment.
-Women will never accept blame for their actions. So don't bother engaging in arguments trying to prove something is her fault.
-Don't get engaged to a slut.
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