Study without proactive application is no better than masturbation

If you're a young guy, especially a smart young guy with a degree, you might see the body of dating and men's advice knowledge as a giant textbook that you can study for, almost like a test.

The knowledge is transformative when you're new to TRP, but it must be proactively applied.

Because without application, you're unlikely to internalise what you read. The best you can do is apply it to past behaviour.

Otherwise, you're not acting honestly. You're lying to yourself by creating a false story of "if I just learn some more information, then it'll all click and I'll finally have success."

Go out there, talk to girls, introduce yourself. Don't go in with the intention of "I really hope she likes me," instead go in with the intention of "I hope she'll be worthwhile me going over and interacting with."

How much better and easier does that sound? The action is reframed to a situation where you're not attached to any outcome beyond "I'm going to talk to her and see if she's right for me."

Try learning less. Keep a core body of knowledge. Return to it whenever you feel in doubt or feel like you're slipping a bit.

Recently I made a conscious to decision to restrict my learning materials down to No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover, and Models by Mark Manson. In my experience, every other dating and men's advice book out there is in some way derivative of these two books.

When I read NMMNG, I nearly cried when I consciously realised the amount of toxic shame I'd been carrying my whole life. And when I read Models, I realised how dishonestly I'd been communicating my whole life. Both books have the same impact today every time I re-read them.

Along with restricting the body of knowledge I reference, I am making a conscious effort to approach more people. I am trying to become a much more social man.

A lot of young guys with dating problems are just anti-social people, they don't have a strong enough circle of male friends, and don't make a proactive effort to meet new people of either gender. I'm just as guilty of this as you are, and am making active change now.

Us men are guilty of getting stuck in routines, and miracles don't happen around routines. Miracles happen when people are present. Break your routine in some way. Someone new at your gym? Go and say hello. Try a different coffee shop. You're guaranteed to meet someone new. Been putting off moving out of your parents' house? Get on Rightmove and find a house to move out into.

If you're stuck in a boring anti-social weekly routine, do you think this is the kind of lifestyle that girls are going to feel attracted to? Don't get me wrong, you should live your life for your own approval. But if you're getting consistent failures in dating, I guarantee there is something you can mix up in your daily routine.

You're sat at your computer now. Do you really think this is living? Don't spend your greatest gift, your time on this earth, studying stuff you already know. Go outside and apply it.

TL;DR: Application > study. Restrict your reference material to as few books as possible. Approach more girls. Become more social as a man.