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Study without proactive application is no better than masturbation

July 1, 2017
209 upvotes

If you're a young guy, especially a smart young guy with a degree, you might see the body of dating and men's advice knowledge as a giant textbook that you can study for, almost like a test.

The knowledge is transformative when you're new to TRP, but it must be proactively applied.

Because without application, you're unlikely to internalise what you read. The best you can do is apply it to past behaviour.

Otherwise, you're not acting honestly. You're lying to yourself by creating a false story of "if I just learn some more information, then it'll all click and I'll finally have success."

Go out there, talk to girls, introduce yourself. Don't go in with the intention of "I really hope she likes me," instead go in with the intention of "I hope she'll be worthwhile me going over and interacting with."

How much better and easier does that sound? The action is reframed to a situation where you're not attached to any outcome beyond "I'm going to talk to her and see if she's right for me."

Try learning less. Keep a core body of knowledge. Return to it whenever you feel in doubt or feel like you're slipping a bit.

Recently I made a conscious to decision to restrict my learning materials down to No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover, and Models by Mark Manson. In my experience, every other dating and men's advice book out there is in some way derivative of these two books.

When I read NMMNG, I nearly cried when I consciously realised the amount of toxic shame I'd been carrying my whole life. And when I read Models, I realised how dishonestly I'd been communicating my whole life. Both books have the same impact today every time I re-read them.

Along with restricting the body of knowledge I reference, I am making a conscious effort to approach more people. I am trying to become a much more social man.

A lot of young guys with dating problems are just anti-social people, they don't have a strong enough circle of male friends, and don't make a proactive effort to meet new people of either gender. I'm just as guilty of this as you are, and am making active change now.

Us men are guilty of getting stuck in routines, and miracles don't happen around routines. Miracles happen when people are present. Break your routine in some way. Someone new at your gym? Go and say hello. Try a different coffee shop. You're guaranteed to meet someone new. Been putting off moving out of your parents' house? Get on Rightmove and find a house to move out into.

If you're stuck in a boring anti-social weekly routine, do you think this is the kind of lifestyle that girls are going to feel attracted to? Don't get me wrong, you should live your life for your own approval. But if you're getting consistent failures in dating, I guarantee there is something you can mix up in your daily routine.

You're sat at your computer now. Do you really think this is living? Don't spend your greatest gift, your time on this earth, studying stuff you already know. Go outside and apply it.


TL;DR: Application > study. Restrict your reference material to as few books as possible. Approach more girls. Become more social as a man.

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Post Information
Title Study without proactive application is no better than masturbation
Author newls
Upvotes 209
Comments 22
Date July 1, 2017 10:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/study-without-proactive-application-is-no-better.44398
https://theredarchive.com/post/44398
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6kmcm6/study_without_proactive_application_is_no_better/
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Comments

[–]dreaddoctorred53 points54 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Remember that, in some physiological sense, ideas and knowledge are food and drink for your brain. When you eat too much food for too long, working out is the only thing that can help. The same goes for study. If your brain is full of ideas, it will get fat, sluggish, and lethargic without exception. When suppressed to only the most important information and tasks (a strict diet) the mind works extremely effectively.

Consumption without production alters both the mind and the body negatively. Make some shit happen.

[–]jairothevaca2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see what you tried to pull here, but the metaphore was quite wrong. There's no amount of knowledge that can be bad for a man. The more ideias your brain gets the better. You don't get fat at ideias. There are so many people who spend their whole life studying a subject (like a college researcher) and they still don't have enough knowledge. For example, people studies math their whole life and still there are some open problems in math. Only reading about the redpill strategy don't work because the redpill strategy is a practical thing. You can't just learn how to drive a car by reading, you have to actually drive a car to became a pilot, but generalising that idea for all areas of knowledge is just plain stupid.

[–]newls[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point, I forgot about the specifics of the information diet but it applies well here.

This is life after all, you're here to make the most of it by living honestly and fully.

[–]Hang10Dude0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is a tough one, because I believe that people should never stop learning. Personally, I learn by immersing myself In a subject for like a year. but I can understand how that would become mental masturbation for some people.

[–]newls[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Point is you learn more by applying so you can actually see for yourself what works for you.

[–]fromthecrypt81 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. Great post. Core information --> application --> analyze mistakes when they happen --> new try --> improvement

[–]DB_201426 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Excessive reading is the easiest "self-improvement" trap to fall into. It's mental masturbation There's a reason self-help books sell millions, yet only a minuscule percentage of those who buy those books actually consistently apply what they learn. Seneca, in letters to a Stoic, discusses the importance of minimizing reading materials down to the bare necessities. I've reduced mine to:

1) The Rational Male

2) Book of Pook

3) Meditations

4) Hagakure: The Book of Samurai

5) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

"Even for studies, where expenditure is most honorable, it is justifiable only so long as it is kept within bounds. What is the use of having countless books and libraries, whose titles their owners can scarcely read through in a whole lifetime? The learner is, not instructed, but burdened by the mass of them, and it is much better to surrender yourself to a few authors than to wander through many." -Seneca

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

5) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

This book is amazing. I've read all the classics, and this one might be my favorite of all time.

[–]newls[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If anyone has been on TRP for a few days, then they probably already know enough to gain some success, but they can only do that by going out and applying that knowledge.

[–]BigBrotherZiggy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

True, there's a reason the sidebar is mandatory reading. If you ingrain that knowledge everything else is derivative. When it comes to the list of books above, I'd make an observation though, something I have to remember myself even(that's why this post is useful): aiming for core books in your business and life(when I say core life books I mean Aristotle, Plato, Seneca, etc. - they looked at life stripped of all biases we have today, they're the sidebar to life). Even though the books you mentioned surely are good, I see them as an extension of the sidebar. Although I find it better to learn from books than from articles, the sidebar is compact and interactive, that's all we really need in terms of RP knowledge. Applying that will take long enough, no need for books around the same topics

[–]F0rever_Fascinated9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My terminology for this is "input" and "output".

I was an input guy for a long time (deliberately, knowing it wasn't perfectly useful) and have since made the transition to 100% output.

My advice to anyone is alternate between input and output. And be aware of it.

[–]newls[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great point, applies to many different areas of life.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When I read NMMNG, I nearly cried when I consciously realised the amount of toxic shame I'd been carrying my whole life.

I DID cry. It was beyond eye-opening. To realize that everything I was doing that I thought was right was killing my interactions with people hit home hard. But the one act that really changed me, was going through his breaking free activities. It wasn't enough for me to read it, and it never will for anyone else, application is more important. Excellent post OP.

[–]newls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for that, yes his breaking free activities are important.

[–]Wolfengristl points points [recovered] | Copy Link

This is this biggest problem on TRP. There comes a point where it's not useful to continue delving into old posts looking for new information. More than likely you're just hiding behind the shield of "If I just read Models one more time, then I'll be ready to go out and meet women."

You have the information; Go and use it.

[–]newls[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. There are some bits in Models that bear repeating, particularly the beginning on male attractiveness:

  • Your attractiveness as a man is determined by how non-needy you are

  • Your non-neediness is expressed by you acting with vulnerability

  • You act vulnerable by being completely honest with yourself and others

Also the bit on questions vs statements is extremely valuable:

  • Make cold reading statements, don't ask questions, e.g. "You look a bit bookish. I bet you enjoy reading a lot" or "I like that you come here regularly, you look like you're quite a self-motivated person," because people love hearing about themselves and there's literally no downside, because if you're wrong they'll still be intrigued about your educated guess

  • Don't be afraid of blurting and non-sequiturs. Blurting what pops into your head shows your non-neediness and can be a lot more interesting than an awkward question

Overall making statements instead of asking questions shows your non-neediness and provokes them to ask you questions, which gives you the power over the interaction. I find that part very valuable and do go back to that section.

But then that's exactly why I narrowed down my reference material to Models and NMMNG. It's condensed information and forms a vital foundation.

[–]pridebrah2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Excellent post and spot on. I fell into this trap and it took me awhile to realize I was spinning my wheels and overanalyzing things. There is really a limited scope of tools you need to begin living life in line with RP principles and refining your life as you go. The goal is simply cultivating healthy masculinity and seeing the world for how it is instead of how you wish it to be.

There's soooo many posts here every month and most of them are either repeating the basics or plain wrong. Arm yourself with a few proven resources, take notes, and apply them ASAP. Time is ticking.

[–]newls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cheers dude glad it resonated. Agree I find a lot of the everyday filler content here a bit exhausting.

[–]Mildly_Sociopathic1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fuck me, this is some serious déjà vu.

http://archive.li/M73nO

[–]dejavubot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

déjà vu

I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE!

[–]newls[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao exactly why you need to get off TRP and apply the knowledge, we keep rehashing the same shit!

[–]BigBrotherZiggy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post OP, thank you very much

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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