Just a fun tale of Nuking the Hamster.
So in addition to its usefulness in chatting girls up, Subversive Humor can be weaponized.
Bear in mind that Frame is Everything. If you use humor without frame you are just a dancing monkey.
So many years ago, in a bar populated by 20-somethings in pre-Financial Crash Manhattan, it was about 8 to the bar an some entitled girlie tried to Bogart her way past me, because: vajayjay entitlement.
As you might imagine, gentle readers, I was having none of it.
Me: "There's a line."
She proceeds to unleash a tantrum, during which she demonstrated her extensive knowledge of Anglo-Saxon curse words. Because, y'know, how dare I have the temerity to exist?
In such situations it's best to treat the tantrum-thrower exactly like the immature teenager she's behaving like.
Me: "You're terrible at flirting!"
Her [cool completely blown]: "I wasn't flirting with you! I wouldn't date you if you were the last man on Earth!"
Of course, by the time she saw my smirk, it was already too late.
Me: "If I was the last man on Earth, you wouldn't even be allowed in line."1
Hamster Nukeage Level: Hiroshima
I get the impression she had a reputation for being something of a bitch, because her friends seemed a bit overjoyed at her receiving her comeuppance - "OMG! Did you hear what that guy said to Ashley!"2 It also helped that I was a semi-regular at that place and so some of the other regulars and the staff were suppressing laughter (and not very well).
Really, at this point, it was all over but the shouting. Her brain couldn't keep up with her mouth, and she only succeed in sputtering and making herself even more ridiculous.
The Aftermath is that, after not too long, I was fending her away from my group, and, as she drank more and contemplated her complete and total defeat, tried to crawl onto my lap and me shooing her away, until her friends eventually asked me, "Will you just take her number so we can leave?"
Lessons Learned:
Frame is Everything.
They want to fight you but they don't want to win.
If a girl wants to act like a child, treat her like she's a bratty kid sister. Sometimes the most devastating thing you can do to a woman is look at her with disgust, like she just gambled on a fart and lost.
1 This is actually the punchline to a joke by 80s comedian Emo Phillips. I saw him tell this joke on Letterman. It bubbled up from my subconscious at exactly the right moment.
2 Or Brandy or Jennifer or whatever her name was. She did have one of those Basic White Girl names. Although now she's no doubt shopping at "Forever XXXIX" instead of "Forever XXI"
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