As a follow up to a previous post I’ve been asked to author a slightly larger write up by several members pertaining to the teasing of your girl while you’re in a relationship. The important point to note is that teasing is relationship-independent. Whether you’re known the girl for two hours or two decades, nothing I can imagine will hand you the key to her dripping pussy city faster than a borderline mean bout of teasing coming from a place of light-heartedness, despite the ramblings of tired post-thirty feminists who claim the sexiest thing a man can do is the dishes.

The game, it should come of no surprise, does not end the minute your belle-du-jour agrees to be monogamous. Teasing-expertise should be the go-to tool strapped to your workbelt of professional pussy carpentry.

Our gendered biological past has almost given us a cheat code to female lust. The female Achilles heel is her vulnerability to being teased. There is no woman out there who can resist the mischievous, shit-eating grin of a man who just won’t quite take her seriously.

The crucial component is to ensure a few key elements. The first is that your teasing is coming from a place of fun and light-heartedness and is not clouded by true meanspiritedness as a form of revenge or bullying. It is invariably very easy for men and women to pick up on this form of mean teasing – imagine the guy trying to talk shit with his boys when he just hasn’t earned it yet: it feels uncomfortable and inevitably falls flat.

The second crucial point is to ensure your teasing does not collapse into an emphasis on cuteness, tickling and funny voices that is often conflated with a couple’s inside jokes. You’re aiming to be the affectionate bully, not the touchy friend. Too much familiarity in a tease and you’re just earned yourself a ticket to the comfortable but lust-free “sweatpants and a messy bun” by 9pm.

If you’re lost in what I mean here, imagine a 6-year-old boy teasing a girl in his class. He's mean, undoubtedly, as a function of not knowing better yet, but fun loving at the same time as a function of his youth. If you can maintain a relationship dynamic in that manner you're on a long path to enjoy the unending rains of the pussy fountain.

There’s likely some psychology behind this all, but it’s ultimately of little matter. Exciting men tease, and they’re subtly signaling to their partner that they truly do not fear her disapproval. Some of the meanest things I have done to my woman would cause violence if done to a stranger, but with her provides direct access to her pleasure bean. Completely screwing with her expectations is the root of teasing your girl and should be the fundamental tenet when you plan your simple fun. If your girl isn’t faux-angry and punching you on the arm at least once every other day you’re failing yourself as the deserving male in the relationship.

My favourites, as noted above, always include the complete redirect of her expectations. Some of the best include randomly shutting the lights off on my girl while she's applying make up, spanking ass in any and every opportunity, grabbing her triceps after a gym trip and then making a pouty face, replacing the make up in her cosmetics bag with crayons, slipping her car into neutral at a stop sign then asking if she broke it again, and if she asks for a refill while spread across the couch, go to fill it up then proudly present her with a nearly empty glass.

Teasing is easy and a genuine contribution to your relationship, betraying a take-it-or-leave-it attitude woman really cannot resist.

As a corollary to the above point: if your woman is not responding to your teasing on a consistent basis, you have problems a sprinkling of simple fun cannot bandage over. And lastly, there’s a time and a place. Heading to a funeral? Smarten up, bud.